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Thread: Friends who wouldn't understand?

  1. #26
    Member Brynna M's Avatar
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    Jan 2008
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    Maryland
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    388
    The whole "if they don't accept you they aren't real friends" thing is an over simplification. Every relationship has boundaries and limits. The limits of some of your relationships may not let your share your gender identity. That doesn't make these people any less friends or comrades. They are who they are and if your want to maintain a limited relationship with them as they are there is nothing wrong with that.
    I'm content being a once in a while girl.

  2. #27
    @--}----- Sissy_Michelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Birmingham, Alabama
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    496
    Brianne_M,

    ?I understand how you feel, I am sure many have felt the same way...?. What I found out was that the ?friends? / ?brothers? you served with will not understand. Additionally, they will tell two people, and so on, till the information comes back to you, plus all those that found out will reach out to you to find out the truth. At this moment you will find out who your friends/brothers really are.

    I am very selective as to who I tell. I have lost a lot of friends...

    Thank-you for your service.

    @?}??

  3. #28
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
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    Midwest U.S.
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    7,351
    Brynna M I agree. We dont like everything about our friends and we should accept they will not like or be comfortable with everything we like.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Brianne, I am much the same way. Almost every friend i have on FB would be very disgusted with me, if i came out to them. But, it is mostly about religious laws and beliefs. Only a few people in the group i was with know. Some old school friends would be very disgusted, too, if they found out. I understand exactly what you are saying. I have to only go out where no one knows me. I have not been out in 2 1/2 yrs now, and to tell the truth, am stil very nervous about it, as i am around seven feet tall, in my only pair of lady shoes which are 5" pumps.

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    Sometimes Miss, Exactly. My siblings and my friends who dont know, consider men who dress up as women to be freaks, creepy, dangerous, perverted, deviant.

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    Sidney, I went to a VA lady therapist, and she also said she talks with many who are struggling with dressing and gender issues. A few CDs and Trans come in to the VA clinic all dolled up. I saw one very tall one in a skirt, hose and heels.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  4. #29
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    152
    Brianne, this is a hard one. It's the not knowing that hurts. Me, I've been out for a while now. I'm trans and so it had to be done. I don't pass, but that's not important to me, or in this thread, but gives some context as I'm new here, not new to this world and this life, but to this forum. When you tell someone, the one thing you can't do is untell them. People aren't blessed with un-hearing, so you have to be sure when you take a further step along the path, that's it's right for you. You are the one that matters here. When I came out, I did it slowly. I told good friends who I thought I could trust, and then, as I changed and as cicumstances changed, then I told more and more people. It sort of grew organically over time, and it grew because it was the right thing for me to do. What I found is that in being true to myself, in being sincere and genuine with people, then they just take you as they find you. You don't necessarily change to them, but inwardly, all is changed for you. Last weekend this culminated in me meething up with one of the rough guys from my past, a good friend but never one to embrace the alternative ways of being. But, you know what, he surprised all of us, and didn't bat an eyelid at being out with his old drinking buddy who was wearing a cord skirt. Yes, there are bumps on the way, it's not all sunshine and roses. But, if you're anything like me, you'll take the path that you need to take, because you need to take it, you'll do it at whatever speed is best for you and I really hope it all works out for you.

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