The hardest part, and most frustrating thing about what I want to do and who I want to be, is "what will my friends think". I know, "if they wont accept you, then are they really your friends?".. I get that.. But I have some bonds with Brothers and Sisters (I was in the Marines), and many other friends, and I wouldn't give them up. I know how a lot of them feel because I see what they post online, and they are more than open about how they feel. This does sadden me, and disgusts me too, because I would accept them no matter what. Knowing where a lot of them stand makes me want to stay quiet and hidden.
The friend of mine I mentioned in my intro who gave me the idea, and a lot of the courage to find this forum asked me "would you ever want to go out dressed?" I said "of course! but only someplace I wasn't known.." I want to be who I am on the inside, but I feel it would cost me too much in my life to make it known on the outside. I know a lot of the ladies here have overcome that fear, and I commend you for your resolve. It is that level I hope to achieve some day.
At best, I can just keep doing what I am doing, and rely on those friends who DO know, and also be here with everyone who understands. For that, I thank everyone. I never felt bad about who I am, or thought "am I doing the right thing?". I just felt good doing it, and I wanted to continue doing it. My only thought and hope is/was "will society ever accept me for ME".

I apologize if I seem to be rambling.. I have a lot of things on my mind and i'm just throwing my thoughts out there. Thank you everyone.