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Thread: Finally stepped out en femme

  1. #1
    Junior Member Stephanie_V's Avatar
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    Finally stepped out en femme

    Well, finally took the plunge and went out all dolled up. I met a fellow CDer a few weeks ago who put out the offer of spending some time together out and about while dressed. Took a few weeks of hemming and hawing on my part, but today decided, "Why not?"
    I actually had a good time. I had all the usual reservation. The anxiety of what people will say, will the laugh at me, etc. Don't think I could of done it without her. She made sure I was ok with it and was mindful of how I was feeling.
    Went to several stores. Didn't stay too long in each one. The back of my brain kept telling me ppl were going to stare, talk about us, giggle in our direction. Didn't happen though (or I didn't see it). In fact, we weren't treated any different. Heck, in one store, the security guard told us "Have a good night mame and drive safe". Even stopped in at an adult store where my friend knew the clerk just to say hi.
    Final test was stopping for a bite to eat. Crowded restaurant on a Saturday night. All kinds of thoughts in my head. But I pulled my big girl panties up, straightened my skirt and did it. No glares, no pointing. It was pretty awesome.
    Just had to share my story. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Hi Stephanie,

    Congratulations on going shopping and eating out! Thanks for sharing!

    Marion

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Yaaaay! Very happy for you. It just gets easier from here.

  4. #4
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    Steph welcome to the club, now that the seal has been open there is nothing stopping you enjoy. Connie

  5. #5
    Somewhere in-between. Krea's Avatar
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    Stephanie, that is a wonderful post. Good for you. I hope that this is the start of many happy experiences for you out&about. Enjoy!
    "Welcome to my scene.
    A place that's in-between.
    Where the squares fit the rounds."
    (Lyrics by Queensryche)

  6. #6
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    That sounded fantastic, I can feel the excitement in your writing. Good for you it must have taken a lot of courage, but it sounds like you owned it. Thanks for sharing, it always makes a nice day with a positive story.

  7. #7
    Member luuv2dress's Avatar
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    Congratulations on taking the step out!

  8. #8
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Congrats on getting out! As Mikki said, it just gets easier and easier! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  9. #9
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Stephanie,

    Yep, those little voices telling you the world was going to come crashing in on you and............nothing. Really pleased you had such a great day out, one of many more to come I'm sure. Thanks for sharing.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  10. #10
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    Great Stephanie. I'm glad to had fun and relaxed. Thanks for sharing.

  11. #11
    Silver Member
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    Your resolve was bolstered by being with another person. It did the same for me my first time out. Girls, if you want to make it outside, try to find a friend (CD?) who will go with you .. or your wife/SO. It makes all the difference in the world for your confidence. Then, just own it!

  12. #12
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Stephanie, That's great. It's always a bigger problem in our minds than in reality.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  13. #13
    New Member AndreaSarah's Avatar
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    Good job Stephanie!Keep it up

  14. #14
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
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    Sounds amazing and having the support would be the only way I'd ever consider stepping out.
    Closeted for 45 years, so please take any advice I might offer with a massive dose of reality.
    Julia xo

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    Congratulations. I well remember the first time I went out. I've never stopped.

  16. #16
    Senior Member
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    Good

    For

    You!
    Like all the others who have gone out before you, you have proven to yourself that the Boogeyman is not waiting for you with torch and pitchfork. The worst thing that could have happened might be the realization that you could have done it years ago and now you have to make up for lost time. I guess everyone's situation is different so any one anecdote in this forum is just partial evidence not proof.

    But now you've done it! Congratulations, and may you have many more successful outings and stories to add, encouraging others to get out there too.

  17. #17
    Junior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing Stephanie, reading your post one can feel the challenge it represented, and the courage you demonstrated is inspiring. I'm not into going out (my crossdressing is very personal and self-centered), but I always enjoy reading the stories of people like you who were brave enough to do it. Very touching and very uplifting post. I hope you do it again and it only gets better.
    Last edited by DianeT; 02-17-2020 at 05:44 AM.

  18. #18
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    Now this is a beautiful thing. Congrats on this first huge step forward.

  19. #19
    Junior Member Stephanie_V's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone! Having my friend Jessica there was definitely the support I needed. Already imagining the next outing!

  20. #20
    Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    That's awesome, Stephanie and congrats!
    As Obi-Wan Kenobi told Luke Skywalker: "You've taken your first step into a much larger world". LOL

    I go out dressed when I'm home every other weekend and I don't even get nervous anymore, nor do I care if people laugh, point, stare, snicker, etc. LOL
    I may be crazy, but I'm BURIED in your memory!

  21. #21
    Junior Member
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    Congrats on your first time dressed en-femme!! We often build up scary scenarios which are much bigger than reality. I rarely encounter more than second looks from people. I really only had one uncomfortable situation when some two teen age boys yelled "hey dude what are you wearing" so I ducked inside a store. It really turned out to not be that big of deal and I remember later laughing that type of thing wasn't worth worrying over. What did I really care what they thought.

  22. #22
    Junior Member HarrietD's Avatar
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    Very cool. Gets easier the more you do it.

  23. #23
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    That's great. Now the question; Were you two out as ladies (trying to pass as women) or as crossdressers? How did you handle your voices?
    Krisi

  24. #24
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Stephanie ,
    All those litttle voices in your head finally silenced , feels good doesn't it !

    Could you do it by yourself ? Possibly the way to prove it is meet up with Jessica after driving yourself , the first time is hard as you feel everyone's eyes are on you .

    As Micki says it does get easier but then you may try tougher challenges .

    Krisi poses the question of how you felt when you went out , I go out regularly with a TS friend and it really does feel like two ladies out shopping and having coffee , neither of us attempt to change our voices , my friend doesn't have a deep voice , she tells me mine sounds OK but by then people have read us for what we are so what we sound like isn't a problem . I admit we have a lot of fun when out we're like a comedy duo at times .
    Last edited by Teresa; 02-18-2020 at 09:45 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  25. #25
    Junior Member Stephanie_V's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    That's great. Now the question; Were you two out as ladies (trying to pass as women) or as crossdressers? How did you handle your voices?
    We were definitely trying to pass. We were both dressed conservatively. Full makeup (nothing over the top), sported all the accessories (purse, jewelry, my ears are pierced).
    We both have enough male characteristics though that a semi close look and it's obvious. For me it's the height and shoulders.
    As for my voice, I tend to speak in a softer tone when in Stephanie mode. Is it feminine enough? Not sure. It's hard to self judge in my opinion. I didn't do too much talking while in public anyways due to the nervousness of the situation.

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