Between my personal experience, spending time with others in the community and the years I've spent on this and other forums I've attempted to harvest some of those events and experiences eventually we end up having. Life is complex and we each go about it in our own way and view it with our own filters but I think I've got a start. Not everyone will experience everything or find they progressed in the same sequence but I'm hoping to get a better overview of the whole experience if possible. What am I missing on this list?
1- Youthful wishes and unanswered prayers, embarrassment liking girl clothes.
2- Finally left alone with the clothing and maybe being caught
3- Fear becomes ingrained. Since I don't know what this really is, I'm learning to hide even better than before.
4- The need grows stronger. Stepping out of the closet, oh no, that was the front door!
5- Almost an adult and maybe it's gone, mostly, sort of or not.
6- Manly stuff will erase it if I grow facial hair, swear and just run a little faster.
7- Marriage and family and a career. This will fix everything, right?
8- The internet saves the day, pixels of light suggesting that I'm not alone.
9- Deeper exploration and why did you shave off your mustache?
10- Others like me really exist. I met them and I didn't die, but I did cry on the way home.
11- The cost to be out is too high, she has too much on her plate and we have too much to lose
12- Caught in the act, was it rejection or redemption?
13a- Acceptance but just keep it under control, okay?
-or-
13b- Must you? Don't ask, don't tell and don't you dare let me see you suffer.
14- Back in the closet for the saddest of reasons.
15- Surprise! Others now in the loop. Wait, you already suspected or maybe even knew?
16- So how important is it to continue with this? That much eh?
17- Don't you think you could have started this a little earlier?
18- Love and trust and hope and progress and oops.
19a- There's still a future but you are still on your own, mostly.
-or-
19b- It's the right thing and we can give it a go, together.
20- Personal acceptance and satisfaction. How did I manage to come this far?
