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  1. #1
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    Shopping: Need some courage and advice

    Dying to go to Victoria Secret

    Going guy mode, I?m 6?3 so I?ll be noticed for sure

    So when approached by a sales rep do I say it?s ok I got this?

    Or say

    Hi I?m shopping for myself and I?m just looking to see what I like

    Thank you ❤️

  2. #2
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    What exactly do you think the employees are going to say? ?Oh my god it?s a MAN! GET OUT GET OUT???? Nope. They?re going to say ?welcome?. And maybe ?can I help you find anything?? And if you do buy something, they might ask ?cash or charge??. Surely you can answer those questions without our help. No one is going to ask your motivations or why you?re there. All you need to say is ?I?m just looking, thanks?.

  3. #3
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Play nice Micki. x

  4. #4
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Micki is of course correct. It is however one of those things easier said than done as we're ingrained with that sense of fear about being outted to the world and their dog. You need to make your mind up that it is something you can do, stay as calm as possible and try to treat it as a shopping trip to the DIY store. You're buying clothes, not naughty knickers.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  5. #5
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    Listen to Mickii set your fears aside, be upfront and honest with the store staff.

    TRY EVERYTHING ON IN THE STORE!

    You will have an overall better experience and leave with better fitting lingerie than if you just grabbed what you think would fit you.

  6. #6
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    95% of my fem items, including lingerie and makeup, I purchased in guy mode. I never had a problem. Go out and enjoy your shopping!

  7. #7
    Fashionista VeronicaMoonlit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    What exactly do you think the employees are going to say? ?Oh my god it?s a MAN! GET OUT GET OUT????
    I'm just having a moment about someone angsting about shopping at Victoria's secret in 2020! VS is used to guys buying stuff, especially at Christmas and before Valentines Day. Though I figure like most SA's they can spot guy-mode transfolk pretty quick.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot View Post
    Play nice Micki. x
    We need more of Micki's common sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    TRY EVERYTHING ON IN THE STORE!

    You will have an overall better experience and leave with better fitting lingerie than if you just grabbed what you think would fit you.
    The OP would have better luck in a plus-size or tall-size lingerie retailer, than VS, being 6'3" a lot of what's in the store won't fit.
    If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
    Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.

  8. #8
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    This was difficult for me as well when I first began buying my own lingerie. Initially I would use the guise that they were for my wife. We are about the same size so that worked just fine. As time went on I began to care less and less if they knew that I was buying for myself. The SA at Dillards recognized me from previous visits and would say things like, "As I recall you prefer this style or that style, etc". I assumed that this meant she knew that I was buying for myself. Over time I've become much more confident and just tell the SA what I am looking for and what size. I'm still pretty uncomfortable buying bras for myself and have yet to be fitted. It will be the next big step for me. As many on this forum have stated, the SAs really don't care. If you're concerned about running into someone that you know you might try the local outlet mall. They are popular with many tourists and a bit less so with local people. At least that's my experience. Good luck.
    Last edited by Victoria1; 02-22-2020 at 08:36 AM.

  9. #9
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    For me, it really depends on the store. If I go in person, I avoid stores that have SA. Places like Walmart, Target are perfect because no SA will approach you and you can browse at your leisure. Sears and JC Penney are good too, again no SA to ask if you need assistance.

    I'll admit I go thru a roller coaster, there are times when I feel confident and I don't care who sees me - for instance, I was browsing the make up area of a local store, and the SA asked what I was looking for. I told her a concealer, and she helped me find it, no questions asked; on the other hand there are times when I feel so self conscious that I think that everyone is judging me. Truth be known, I've witnessed other guys shopping with no female companion, and no one really bats an eye. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

  10. #10
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    What exactly do you think the employees are going to say? ?Oh my god it?s a MAN! GET OUT GET OUT???? Nope. They?re going to say ?welcome?. And maybe ?can I help you find anything?? And if you do buy something, they might ask ?cash or charge??. Surely you can answer those questions without our help. No one is going to ask your motivations or why you?re there. All you need to say is ?I?m just looking, thanks?.
    I think the OP was asking if she could expect to encounter any "attitude" from SA's in those stores.

    Given the tone of many of your posts here, I would guess that exhibiting "attitude" is a concept that you are very familiar with.

  11. #11
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    As someone who is an avid shopper at Victoria's Secret, I can tell you exactly what you need to do.
    Get straight to the point with the very first sales person you meet, who is going to ask if you need assistance. Trust me, they do not give a **** if you're a man or woman, although they may automatically assume you're there to shop for your wife or girlfriend. Don't bullshit them around and waste their time, just tell them straight out that you are shopping for yourself. They will not care, they are used to this kind of thing in today's world and will be more than willing to help. Be on your best manners too and behave like a perfect gentleman. Remember that you are a man in a woman's lingerie shop, and while the employees will accept you, there are a few women who might feel uncomfortable around you. Not everyone is open to the idea of men wearing women's clothes.
    As for shopping, if you know for sure you're going to do a lot of shopping at Victoria's Secret, sign up for the credit card. Now if you're not a fan of credit cards that is fine. But this card is most definitely worth it if you intend to buy a lot and frequent their stores. They give away points like crazy, and it only takes 250 points for a $15 reward card, 1 point for every $1 spent. Oh and all bras (except clearance) are triple points, so you'll be racking up the points fast. BEWARE!!! This might make you spend a little more than you want to. I know because that's what happened to me, and I found myself having to curb back on my spending.
    Have fun!

  12. #12
    Member LadyInRed's Avatar
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    i totally get where you're coming from, but it gets easier, just remember they are there to sell stuff, so go in there head held high and get what you want
    Jamie Dee

  13. #13
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    I don't normally ask for assistance at Victoria Secrets but when I have I have always been honest it was for me. Never been an issue, aside from finding the correct size in a style I wanted. But that would have been the same for a female in the same size.

  14. #14
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    You're probably right Veronica, VS is not all that. Frankly I find VS bras overpriced and under performing.

    It's all marketing hype.

  15. #15
    New Member crissy7's Avatar
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    Find out what size you are before you go.When someone wants to help tell them,they don't care.good luck.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I love VS because they have XS sizes that frequently go on sale. And they let you stack up to three coupons. But, they most notably don't have much for larger girls, so a credit card may not be worth the hassle if nothing fits.

    Also, VS is aimed at mature women with fully developed breasts, while PINK is aimed at the younger crowd. PINK is where you will find the A cup bras in the store. But PINK's panties are more flirty than those in VS.
    VS constantly has panty sales. And free panties if you sign up for the credit card.

  17. #17
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    Going in dressed in guy mode will not rattle any cages whatsoever. not at 6 foot three. And it won?t phase them if you go in girl mode, as I have done, and at just shy of the same height.

    But as noted by others, VS is not going to have the array of sizes and styles you will find at other stores. VS targets a particular niche and that is fine.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  18. #18
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    You might be surprised at their reaction if you tell the truth.

    My first foray into dressing was three years ago. First step was getting my nails done, as a guy. A bit apprehensive, but told the tech my plans (makeover, try on clothes). Her eyes lit up, she had a big smile, and supported my plans. The next day Julie at Sephora and Falon at Nordstrom were beyond wonderful.

    I have a current thread in the photos section about how wonderful the SAs at a store here in Melbourne are so fabulous to me (one called me her favourite customer).

    I've never had a bad experience with an SA. OTOH, I've had TONS of wonderful experiences.

    Only one way to find out if the same will be true for you. Overcome the fear, walk in, and tell them what you are looking for.

  19. #19
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Al, u don't have to say the things r for u. Say they're for someone about your size but much shorter!

    And, I NEVER try things on in the store!
    They're all returnable anyway!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    I've found if I just own it and say that I'm shopping for myself, I have a good experience. The way I look at it is I'm not the first guy to buy things and I won't be the last.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

    Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!

  21. #21
    Senior Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    Slightly off topic, but I just read VS is being sold and shutting down at least 50 stores, so if you want to shop there probably a good time to do it before they are gone for good.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    As Danielle mentioned, L Brands has sold VS and the founder and longtime CEO has stepped down. The store has been losing market share for some time as most women turn to comfort over sexy and VS has not kept up, continues to cater to the teeny bopper set. I agree with those who have encouraged you to just be honest, yet I understand that often our fear in doing so is representative of our own shame and expectation of being rejected or embarrassed.

    Personally, I would favor a Soma store over a VS, and there are countless stories on these pages and other CD sites about CDs getting bra fittings at Soma stores. Soma is more likely to have sizes to fit your larger frame. Also, their stores are often smaller, so may be less intimidating for your first couple forays. Got close to store opening on a weekday. Have fun and if you take the SAs time, buy some things. Remember, you will not be the first guy they have sold panties to for himself. Probably about five percent of all guys wear panties (at least). Nancy

  23. #23
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    I'd say first seek out a 'friendly' boutique in your area. They will be more fitting with sizes, acceptance, and overall comfort of purchase. Then you'll have more confidence in accenting your step to VS with what you have learned from the more 'friendly' boutique. In this day and age, VS is not necessarily the first place to go.

  24. #24
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    LOL Wren "In this day and age, VS is not necessarily the first place to go."

    In general VS is the last place I would go

  25. #25
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadia Wren View Post
    I'd say first seek out a 'friendly' boutique in your area. They will be more fitting with sizes, acceptance, and overall comfort of purchase. Then you'll have more confidence in accenting your step to VS with what you have learned from the more 'friendly' boutique. In this day and age, VS is not necessarily the first place to go.
    This is a very good way to start and if you are lucky to have one not too far away you will not regret going there. Small lingerie shops are few and far between but being a most likely locally owned boutique they will be happy to have you stop by.
    Crissy

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