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Thread: Shopping: Need some courage and advice

  1. #1
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    Shopping: Need some courage and advice

    Dying to go to Victoria Secret

    Going guy mode, I?m 6?3 so I?ll be noticed for sure

    So when approached by a sales rep do I say it?s ok I got this?

    Or say

    Hi I?m shopping for myself and I?m just looking to see what I like

    Thank you ❤️

  2. #2
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    What exactly do you think the employees are going to say? ?Oh my god it?s a MAN! GET OUT GET OUT???? Nope. They?re going to say ?welcome?. And maybe ?can I help you find anything?? And if you do buy something, they might ask ?cash or charge??. Surely you can answer those questions without our help. No one is going to ask your motivations or why you?re there. All you need to say is ?I?m just looking, thanks?.

  3. #3
    Honesty Is Not A Sin Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Play nice Micki. x
    Don't Take Life To Serious, It's Only Temporary

    CHOICE
    It is often wrongly assumed that a person chooses to be transgender and one day decides they want to live the remainder of their life as transgender .This couldn't be further from the truth. Transgender is established sometime during pregnancy, probably in the first three months and certainly well before an individual is able to make a choice.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Micki is of course correct. It is however one of those things easier said than done as we're ingrained with that sense of fear about being outted to the world and their dog. You need to make your mind up that it is something you can do, stay as calm as possible and try to treat it as a shopping trip to the DIY store. You're buying clothes, not naughty knickers.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  5. #5
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    Listen to Mickii set your fears aside, be upfront and honest with the store staff.

    TRY EVERYTHING ON IN THE STORE!

    You will have an overall better experience and leave with better fitting lingerie than if you just grabbed what you think would fit you.

  6. #6
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    95% of my fem items, including lingerie and makeup, I purchased in guy mode. I never had a problem. Go out and enjoy your shopping!

  7. #7
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    We can tell you how most of the fear is in your head and how no one really cares. Even if someone has an issue, they won't care about it the next day but you might be replaying it in your head. This fear in your head is probably going to make you look shy and out of place. You can do your research ahead of time, such as measure yourself so you know what size you wear. Look up what they have available so you know what thinks you want to check out. Listen to all the people here tell you it's ok to have the courage. You will do ok and the reward will so be worth it.

    Like my mom used to say "practice makes perfect."

  8. #8
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    I've been at this a LONG time, and even with decades of experience I still run into situations depending on the SA, the phase of the moon, or I don't know what. I've kind of aged out of VS, but in general... "Just looking" always works. If it happens that everything comes together and you feel emboldened, ask to try something on. Have some idea of your size before you go. You can't try on panties anyway. Some places you can try on over your panties, but usually not. Before you go, measure around your chest right where your bra strap would be. From my experience, this is your band size (regardless of the fitting info you find online). With forms, our cup size can be whatever we want. You can pretty much tell by looking if it's close to what you need. Even if you're going to wear a bra without forms you can pretty well tell. We're usually not very picky about comfort since we're probably not wearing a bra all day every day.

    I guess VS is kind of a right of passage. I remember when that label meant something to me. If it means something to you, better get it while you can. When I got a little more picky about bras and was no longer drawn to the label, I found that their stuff wasn't the best, at least for me. It's great marketing! During the height of VS I loved seeing that VS tag in my drawer. There was a psychological draw that made wearing that VS bra or pantie just a little extra. Worked for them for a long time.

    Enjoy!

  9. #9
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    If you are confident then just tell them it's for you and ask for help, perhaps with sizing or style.
    Not sure that at 6'3" they will have much for you unless you are thin. They don't usually have much in larger sizes.

    Just remember ... your money is just as green as everyone else's. A Customer is a Customer and if you are treated poorly by a sales associate don't be afraid to complain to management.

  10. #10
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    As someone who is an avid shopper at Victoria's Secret, I can tell you exactly what you need to do.
    Get straight to the point with the very first sales person you meet, who is going to ask if you need assistance. Trust me, they do not give a **** if you're a man or woman, although they may automatically assume you're there to shop for your wife or girlfriend. Don't bullshit them around and waste their time, just tell them straight out that you are shopping for yourself. They will not care, they are used to this kind of thing in today's world and will be more than willing to help. Be on your best manners too and behave like a perfect gentleman. Remember that you are a man in a woman's lingerie shop, and while the employees will accept you, there are a few women who might feel uncomfortable around you. Not everyone is open to the idea of men wearing women's clothes.
    As for shopping, if you know for sure you're going to do a lot of shopping at Victoria's Secret, sign up for the credit card. Now if you're not a fan of credit cards that is fine. But this card is most definitely worth it if you intend to buy a lot and frequent their stores. They give away points like crazy, and it only takes 250 points for a $15 reward card, 1 point for every $1 spent. Oh and all bras (except clearance) are triple points, so you'll be racking up the points fast. BEWARE!!! This might make you spend a little more than you want to. I know because that's what happened to me, and I found myself having to curb back on my spending.
    Have fun!

  11. #11
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    I don't normally ask for assistance at Victoria Secrets but when I have I have always been honest it was for me. Never been an issue, aside from finding the correct size in a style I wanted. But that would have been the same for a female in the same size.

  12. #12
    Fashionista VeronicaMoonlit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    What exactly do you think the employees are going to say? ?Oh my god it?s a MAN! GET OUT GET OUT????
    I'm just having a moment about someone angsting about shopping at Victoria's secret in 2020! VS is used to guys buying stuff, especially at Christmas and before Valentines Day. Though I figure like most SA's they can spot guy-mode transfolk pretty quick.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot View Post
    Play nice Micki. x
    We need more of Micki's common sense.

    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    TRY EVERYTHING ON IN THE STORE!

    You will have an overall better experience and leave with better fitting lingerie than if you just grabbed what you think would fit you.
    The OP would have better luck in a plus-size or tall-size lingerie retailer, than VS, being 6'3" a lot of what's in the store won't fit.
    If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
    Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.

  13. #13
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    You're probably right Veronica, VS is not all that. Frankly I find VS bras overpriced and under performing.

    It's all marketing hype.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I love VS because they have XS sizes that frequently go on sale. And they let you stack up to three coupons. But, they most notably don't have much for larger girls, so a credit card may not be worth the hassle if nothing fits.

    Also, VS is aimed at mature women with fully developed breasts, while PINK is aimed at the younger crowd. PINK is where you will find the A cup bras in the store. But PINK's panties are more flirty than those in VS.
    VS constantly has panty sales. And free panties if you sign up for the credit card.

  15. #15
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    Going in dressed in guy mode will not rattle any cages whatsoever. not at 6 foot three. And it won?t phase them if you go in girl mode, as I have done, and at just shy of the same height.

    But as noted by others, VS is not going to have the array of sizes and styles you will find at other stores. VS targets a particular niche and that is fine.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  16. #16
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    I've found if I just own it and say that I'm shopping for myself, I have a good experience. The way I look at it is I'm not the first guy to buy things and I won't be the last.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    Slightly off topic, but I just read VS is being sold and shutting down at least 50 stores, so if you want to shop there probably a good time to do it before they are gone for good.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    You might be surprised at their reaction if you tell the truth.

    My first foray into dressing was three years ago. First step was getting my nails done, as a guy. A bit apprehensive, but told the tech my plans (makeover, try on clothes). Her eyes lit up, she had a big smile, and supported my plans. The next day Julie at Sephora and Falon at Nordstrom were beyond wonderful.

    I have a current thread in the photos section about how wonderful the SAs at a store here in Melbourne are so fabulous to me (one called me her favourite customer).

    I've never had a bad experience with an SA. OTOH, I've had TONS of wonderful experiences.

    Only one way to find out if the same will be true for you. Overcome the fear, walk in, and tell them what you are looking for.

  19. #19
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Al, u don't have to say the things r for u. Say they're for someone about your size but much shorter!

    And, I NEVER try things on in the store!
    They're all returnable anyway!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
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    I'd say first seek out a 'friendly' boutique in your area. They will be more fitting with sizes, acceptance, and overall comfort of purchase. Then you'll have more confidence in accenting your step to VS with what you have learned from the more 'friendly' boutique. In this day and age, VS is not necessarily the first place to go.

  21. #21
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    LOL Wren "In this day and age, VS is not necessarily the first place to go."

    In general VS is the last place I would go

  22. #22
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    I remember my first time shopping for female clothes, I desperately wanted to buy some really nice feminine lingerie, I felt ridiculously self conscious but I did it and guess what, no one cares and now many years on I don’t even think about it, shopping is shopping

    Just before Christmas I saw a nice pair of ankle boots in my size, took them to the SA, she checked them through, told me these are nice boots and we chatted nicely

    I’m not far off your age and once you’ve made that first purchase, you’ll wonder why you were worried, just be yourself

  23. #23
    Junior Member Petra_Briar's Avatar
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    I once had an SA say to me"are you shopping for your wife, girlfriend or yourself?"...and I was in drab

    Enjoy browsing, and hopefully you find something cute for your self!

  24. #24
    Erin Erin_T's Avatar
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    Don?t stress about as you see it?s very common. Also it?s just as enjoyable as you are imagining! I prefer Pink store myself but sizes are more difficult there.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadia Wren View Post
    I'd say first seek out a 'friendly' boutique in your area. They will be more fitting with sizes, acceptance, and overall comfort of purchase. Then you'll have more confidence in accenting your step to VS with what you have learned from the more 'friendly' boutique. In this day and age, VS is not necessarily the first place to go.
    This is a very good way to start and if you are lucky to have one not too far away you will not regret going there. Small lingerie shops are few and far between but being a most likely locally owned boutique they will be happy to have you stop by.
    Crissy

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