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Thread: Shopping: Need some courage and advice

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member NancyJ's Avatar
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    As Danielle mentioned, L Brands has sold VS and the founder and longtime CEO has stepped down. The store has been losing market share for some time as most women turn to comfort over sexy and VS has not kept up, continues to cater to the teeny bopper set. I agree with those who have encouraged you to just be honest, yet I understand that often our fear in doing so is representative of our own shame and expectation of being rejected or embarrassed.

    Personally, I would favor a Soma store over a VS, and there are countless stories on these pages and other CD sites about CDs getting bra fittings at Soma stores. Soma is more likely to have sizes to fit your larger frame. Also, their stores are often smaller, so may be less intimidating for your first couple forays. Got close to store opening on a weekday. Have fun and if you take the SAs time, buy some things. Remember, you will not be the first guy they have sold panties to for himself. Probably about five percent of all guys wear panties (at least). Nancy

  2. #27
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    This was difficult for me as well when I first began buying my own lingerie. Initially I would use the guise that they were for my wife. We are about the same size so that worked just fine. As time went on I began to care less and less if they knew that I was buying for myself. The SA at Dillards recognized me from previous visits and would say things like, "As I recall you prefer this style or that style, etc". I assumed that this meant she knew that I was buying for myself. Over time I've become much more confident and just tell the SA what I am looking for and what size. I'm still pretty uncomfortable buying bras for myself and have yet to be fitted. It will be the next big step for me. As many on this forum have stated, the SAs really don't care. If you're concerned about running into someone that you know you might try the local outlet mall. They are popular with many tourists and a bit less so with local people. At least that's my experience. Good luck.
    Last edited by Victoria1; 02-22-2020 at 08:36 AM.

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    Trivia fact about VS. It was started in 1977 by a man who was frustrated trying to find good lingerie while shopping for his wife. Consequently, the original concept of the store was to provide a place where men are welcomed. I'm a shy shopper but after reading that in a search on the companies history I'm ready for a trip to VS. 😁

  4. #29
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    For me, it really depends on the store. If I go in person, I avoid stores that have SA. Places like Walmart, Target are perfect because no SA will approach you and you can browse at your leisure. Sears and JC Penney are good too, again no SA to ask if you need assistance.

    I'll admit I go thru a roller coaster, there are times when I feel confident and I don't care who sees me - for instance, I was browsing the make up area of a local store, and the SA asked what I was looking for. I told her a concealer, and she helped me find it, no questions asked; on the other hand there are times when I feel so self conscious that I think that everyone is judging me. Truth be known, I've witnessed other guys shopping with no female companion, and no one really bats an eye. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

  5. #30
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    PS, we have a local chain of adult gift stores most of which are stand alone buildings or in strip malls. All of our VS are in Malls where I might be recognized so I opt for the adult gift stores over stores like VS. Any other shoppers you encounter in those types of stores aren't going to give you a second look. I find that to be easier for me as a shy CD shopper than the Malls.

  6. #31
    Member Michelle_G's Avatar
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    We are usually our own worst enemy. You are probably not the first male they have seen shopping for themselves. They are doing their job and tending to customers.$$$

  7. #32
    Junior Member Gaz's Avatar
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    I'll echo what others have said - saying you're shopping for yourself will mean you'll walk out of there with better fitting stuff. I'll also echo what others have said in that VS isn't what they used to be. A decade (or so) ago, their stuff was fantastic - now I find it (personally) an overpriced Fredericks of Hollywood.

    Personally though, I 100% know where you're coming from, and while I can RATIONALLY say that you should tell them you're shopping for yourself, I've never had the courage to do that myself in there. The closest I've gotten was talking to my local Soma boutique via online chat asking about coming in for a bra fitting, which they had absolutely zero problem with me doing, but did suggest that for my own comfort and potentially the comfort of other shoppers, I come in during a quiet time, like Sunday morning. (Still haven't done it, tho!)
    Bearded, hairy, beer-chugging, truck-drivin', wife lovin' manly man...
    ...sometimes in lingerie and heels, and occasionally a cute dress. MIAD 4 life!

  8. #33
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
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    Just go in and tell them it's for you and they may take you back to a fitting room so you get the right size for you. They did for me.
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  9. #34
    Member MaryAnn1963's Avatar
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    I do understand the anxiety you are facing...I get very nervous buying what little I have purchased lately. I try not to engage the clerks too much, but at some of the thrift stores the little old ladies that volunteer there get chatty. I bought two pair of pumps last week at a church run thrift store.in guy mode... the lady looked at me, back at the shoes, then at me again...and said "do these fit okay?" I said that they indeed do and that brand/style are the most comfortable heels I've ever worn. She just gave me a big smile and rang me up & said enjoy. I had to take a few deep breaths once I made it back to my car.

  10. #35
    Member LadyInRed's Avatar
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    i totally get where you're coming from, but it gets easier, just remember they are there to sell stuff, so go in there head held high and get what you want
    Jamie Dee

  11. #36
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    When i go shopping i always think the staff are there to sell and thats it!
    Your doing them a favor by buying something. Go for it!

  12. #37
    Member Jemima Stephens's Avatar
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    If the shop staff are a little off I tell them that I am shopping for my Husband as he is transitioning....that normally puts them on the back foot!!

    (BTW Tesco have a good sale on at the moment, got a lovely floaty dress in black with pink flowers on reduced from ?25 to ?10 that i am wearing at home now...)

  13. #38
    New Member crissy7's Avatar
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    Find out what size you are before you go.When someone wants to help tell them,they don't care.good luck.

  14. #39
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    What exactly do you think the employees are going to say? ?Oh my god it?s a MAN! GET OUT GET OUT???? Nope. They?re going to say ?welcome?. And maybe ?can I help you find anything?? And if you do buy something, they might ask ?cash or charge??. Surely you can answer those questions without our help. No one is going to ask your motivations or why you?re there. All you need to say is ?I?m just looking, thanks?.
    I think the OP was asking if she could expect to encounter any "attitude" from SA's in those stores.

    Given the tone of many of your posts here, I would guess that exhibiting "attitude" is a concept that you are very familiar with.

  15. #40
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hi,
    you don't have to say anything. If approached with an offer of help you can politely say "no thank you"
    Just remember that the shop wants you to spend money - you are doing a good deed by boosting their profits!
    luv J

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