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Thread: Please don't wear a skirt and high heels !

  1. #1
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Please don't wear a skirt and high heels !

    I almost called this D-Day for a number of reasons .

    I finally got round to downloading the divorce documents from the official government site . It looks fairly straightfoward , three copies are required with the application along with the original marriage certificate and a one off payment of ?550.00 , no legal fees .

    My wife rang about another topic so I told her I had now obtained the divorce documents , she was OK about it but she holds the marriage certificate . In her next breath she said , " OK , I'll bring the cerficate to you and we'll have a coffee , but please don't wear a short skirt with high heels !" I told her I had other jobs to do this coming Friday so I would be my normal self ( as Teresa ) . My fitted black trousers , black blouse with flowers on and a cardigan , my makeup will be my normal amount . I had to call my daughter about another issue and told her what the plan was , she pointed out it's my home and have the right to dress as I choose , I agreed but in this instance I will play on the safe side , it there's a next time then I may well wear a skirt or a dress .

    So it is sort of D-Day , D= divorce and also I will meet my wife face to face as Teresa for the first time , that is if she doesn't chicken out .

    Personally I'm not at all nervous , it's been two years and in that time I've been full time in my new home town , she knows that and is also aware whatever she's thrown at me it hasn't stopped me being what I wanted to be . So it looks like my softly softly approach has worked out , possibly she's accepted that the net has closed in on her and it was isolating her from family and friends , also taking the chance to return to my old home town has paid off .
    The real me ,no going back.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    So happy for you, and glad there is less drama!

    I was worried for awhile.
    You are you. You are beautiful. Labels are worthless.

  3. #3
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Teresa, I'm not sure its OK to say good luck in this situation, but let me say that I hope all goes smoothly with the meeting and divorce.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  4. #4
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Well, its a healthy step for both of you to meet as you are and will be.

    I don’t think every encounter has to be a test of wills or a battle for control
    Last edited by kimdl93; 02-25-2020 at 09:58 AM.

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    Easy left me long ago...

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Kim,
    It's the point I made to my daughter , the alternative couldn't continue both in meeting my wife and going through with the divorce . At the moment our wills are a mess , my son and daughter will benifit from all the loose ends being tidied up .

    Jamie,
    I hope my update at the end of the week will be all good news .
    The real me ,no going back.

  6. #6
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Still letting your ex rule your life and I doubt that will stop even tho' the divorce is finalized.
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  7. #7
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Tracii,
    We all have a different way of working things out and different values in life , maybe my wife will never change but I'm gradually making the changes . Our separation has had it's ups and downs and I've gone along with it but at least I haven't cut off my nose to spite my face , it could have cost me far more . If it eventaully it only costs me ?275.00 when it's split I'll be a very happy bunny !!
    The real me ,no going back.

  8. #8
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    I suspect the sense of finality will be kind of a deal. You certainly gave it every opportunity to work. Life on your own terms is different (if we're ever truly on our own terms). I see my ex so infrequently that it's hardly an issue, but even today it's kind of a thing that causes me to strategize a bit. I imagine if she needed to see me for something (she never does) and I was dressed I'd be doing a lightning fast undoing. I like to think I wouldn't, but I probably would. When we first separated I dressed and went places where I knew there was a pretty good chance of seeing her, and I did. Thought I was striking a blow for... something. I've regained some sanity, and wouldn't do that now. I would like to get to the point where I don't go out of my way to avoid seeing her when I'm dressed or nails polished or whatever. I am going to work on that, but our interactions are so infrequent it's not likely to happen.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Teresa, the day has come when you will officially be single again. It may not have been what you really dreamed of, but your focus on being you is admirable and if that cannot be fitted into a marital framework, well, so be it. I suspect after the actual D-Day you may have mixed feelings, maybe even a few regrets, but you will roll along so much more smoothly without the attachment to that which didn't work anymore. I think you have done well through it all. Two years ago when the separation occurred you were a mess. Now you are a very together person. Be good to yourself after it is all finalized. People just grow in different directions at times and this is what happens sometimes. But I hope you will not forget your ex and all the good times you shared. Those were so important. Hope there are no hang ups in the final process.

  10. #10
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    With kids and grandkids there is always going to be some drama that will play out. Hope your soon to be ex-wife will be civil.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Rhonda,
    That wasn't my motive for returning to my old town , I was determined to be Teresa , it appeared ridiculous to allow one person dictate my new life in that way . Persevering has paid off , not to prove something or score points but to live my life parts of which were still in my old home town . I feel we should also discount how we choose to portray oursleves , if we are out in the RW and working on blending if having nail polish on it's part of that people will soon accept it as part of your identity .

    Gretchen,
    Thanks for your words of support . I have the occasional thoughts of my feelings after D-Day and my wife has also asked that question , on a daily basis that piece of paper possibly won't make that much difference . What I really need to change is the MR handle , I will possibly feel freer to continue the changes I've already made . For one thing I won't have a marriage certificate stating my gender status , there won't be a Mr and MRS officially anymore .
    The real me ,no going back.

  12. #12
    Member ambigendrous's Avatar
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    So, she said "...please don't wear a short skirt with high heels..." - that doesn't specifically rule out a longer skirt and lower heels, if you want to be daring!

    In any case, hope the meeting goes well for you!
    Ambigendrous
    Wealth should not be measured by how much you have, but by how little you need - anon

  13. #13
    Member LIKETODRESS2's Avatar
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    YOu should wear what she told you not to wear.

  14. #14
    Member Helena's Avatar
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    Teresa, we wish you all the best. Tying up the legal loose ends is a good thing but the day to day may not change too much but there is a lot to be positive, compared to how your soon to be ex was a couple of years ago and now she will be meeting Teresa.

  15. #15
    Member Lux's Avatar
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    Teresa,

    I wish you all the best on your upcoming D-day. I’ve followed your story over the years and am happy that you are enjoying the rest of your life as you choose. It does seem to me that your soon to be ex has slightly softened up his last year as the realization has started to sink in.

    It’s nice to try to take the high road and be civil and considerate to her feelings as your marriage comes to an end. At the end of the day, please remember that probably neither of you could have seen where your journey led you and she did indeed lose the man she married. You both suffered and both mourned a loss.

    Having said that, you’ve both been through a lot and here’s to peace, new beginnings and happiness moving forward.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Teresa, best wishes going through your "D" day and the days immediately after! hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  17. #17
    Member missjoann49's Avatar
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    Thinking of you and prayers are with you that all goes well

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    You are all very kind with your thoughts , I hope by the weekend I can post how well it went but I'm dealing with a very unpredicatable person , I sense from my daughter's phone call she doesn't totally trust my wife . It's lovely I have her support but I'm saddened she implied her doubts about her mother .
    The real me ,no going back.

  19. #19
    Carpe Diem Jackiefl's Avatar
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    I'm with you Traci, there are people that will never let the drama end.

  20. #20
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Teresa remember it was your wife that instiiled the doubt your daughter has in her mother not you so don't feel bad about or carry that burden.
    My first ex pretty much abandon our two daughters for 12 years while I raised them on my own.
    They hated their mother for a long time because she did that to them.
    No phone calls ,birthday wishes nothing and when my ex wanted to make contact they told her to shove it and I don't blame them at all.
    They have made up since then which is good but I still don't like her for doing that to her own kids.
    Both my exes I can't stand and they know it but I will talk with them if I have to.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 02-25-2020 at 08:23 PM.
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  21. #21
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    You're meeting for what purpose? Because u need a doc she holds to finalize your divorce. She could mail it. U could drive by on your way to whatever and pick it up. But no, COFFEE!? I'm with Traci. This sounds like a recipe for disaster!

    Get the friggin doc! File it. Then, meet afterwards to chat and celebrate your divorce!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  22. #22
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Exactly !
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  23. #23
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Teresa I doubt your ex will ever let you go and will always demand things from you.
    Why you ask? Because she knows she can and I have a feeling you are having a hard time leaving her behind because you are always posting about her.
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  24. #24
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I think it is good to go conservative anyways when meeting your wife for D day. It seems like to her you are quite risque with your short skirts and high heels.

    Personally I do the conservative thing when first meeting someone that has known me for a while (such as last Friday).

  25. #25
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    I don't know enough about the feelings between you and your wife to really be able to say anything for sure but I would say that in the interest in keeping the divorce going smooth and as hassle free as possible you might want to dress so as to not annoy your soon to be X even if it goes against how you want to dress and feel comfortable dressing. Sherrii

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