Deedee,
I agree that you do not say anything about her being or looking trans. It is not your job. However, if you are out to your HR department at work, you could always tell them that if she needs a kindred soul in the company to talk to, you could be that person. If she has any issues at work over anything trans and she goes to HR for some support, HR will already have your name on the top of the list. If you are not out at work, then just be the professional senior level employee that you are and stay out of her way on anything trans related, like, "How do you like it here?", and "Are the others treating you well?", or anything near that. She may be totally proud and really ready for the worst, or very insecure. Let HR deal with that. Befriend her if you like, but please do not cross the line, it may have a negative impact on her and you.
It is wonderful that you are there for her, but I think you need to wait to see how it all plays out before taking that risk. I am like that as well, and it is extremely hard to not talk to another perceived trans person, when I know I should just move on and pinch my lips with my fingers.
Good luck, and how does she seem to be doing?
Allie
