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Thread: Good Move or Not ?

  1. #1
    Junior Member Renee Demarea's Avatar
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    Good Move or Not ?

    Hello, Girls what are the odds on what I did ? My GF of 4 yrs about 7 months ago moved out of
    Master Bed room and into one of the spare bedrooms its just the two of us that live in the house.
    But left all her clothes in the Master and comes in all the time to get them. But her room is closed
    doors and started to lock at night . She does not approve of my crossdressing and feels that im cheating on her , and when drinking she will start to call me transgender and other ...... Anyway I had enough of suprise visits and moved most of her chothes to her room when she was out .. Have to wait and see if she backs off or out ? Time tells all Tails Im not a cheater. Thoughts are welcome.

  2. #2
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    Depending on what your living situation is. Rent or own, and who's names are on what legal documents. If you own or its your name only on any legal documents. Kick her out, or move out if its only her name.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Renee Demarea's Avatar
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    Yes I own my house , she is a house guest at this point , she doesnt forgive or forget . I would like to start over but that is not likely .......?

  4. #4
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Hmm , that is an unusual situation, but I would think that if you moved her stuff while she was out, she might be PO?d. So hopefully it will not go badly.

    Sandi

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    My college GF and I stayed "in touch" for 30+ years. Thru her marriage and divorce and then mine. I began dressing in my 50's. At first she was supportive.

    But, after awhile she got sick of hearing about Sherry! She was jealous. We haven't spoken in 5+ years!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    So, your alleged "GF" is an abusive, controlling, secretive drunk and you presumably aren't having sex with her anymore either since she has moved out of the previously shared bedroom...

    What's in it for you at this point from what remains of your relationship with her? Does she have some sort of incriminating evidence of past "crimes" (misdeeds?) on your part (including the crossdressing) that she is holding over your head and is now blackmailing you with?

  7. #7
    Junior Member Renee Demarea's Avatar
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    There is not much for me to loose at this point, she doesnt pay rent, and has stopped doing some of the shared house responsibilities with ,pets ,yardwork , pool duties etc. she tried to hold my crossdressing overmy head to tell my Son , but my Son and I have no secrets and unconditional love for each other to her suprise. Maybe a few Co workers or Bar friends could be the only thing she could tell. But she will tell any future woman in the future for sure , she still thinks its the first thing you would tell some one new ?????

  8. #8
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    Did she sign a renter's agreement? If she did not. I personally would take a day off from work, change the locks, and throw her stuff out on the lawn. Also file a restraining order against her.

    Unless you live in a super small town like mayberry. How is she going to know who your dating? Let alone have access to these woman who you are seeing.

  9. #9
    Member susanmichelle's Avatar
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    I?m not sure where you live but in Indiana and in Kentucky both in order to get her out legally you will have to take her to court and file for eviction. Unless you can get her to leave in her own. It may be brought up by her in court that you crossdress or whatever she may call it. Just grin and bear it the best you can. I would suggest you check with your local laws concerning getting someone out of your residence in reference to the eviction process. I don?t think you can actually throw her stuff out and change the locks. Check it out just to be safe.

  10. #10
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    I read some of your prior postings. At age 66+ you do not need to take crap off anyone, especially if it is your domicile. It sounds like she feels she is entitled to be there for some unknown reason. Tine to boot her out. Don't let her hold you hostage with threats to tell all. She'll never leave.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Let her know she cannot blackmail you with the threat of telling your son or others. I say give her the Gong immediately.
    Crissy

  12. #12
    Member Megan b's Avatar
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    I kinda think if you want her to leave, just be Renee most of the time around house. She will either get use to it or probably decide on her on its time move out. Either way could be good for you. Just my thoughts on this not so good situation.

  13. #13
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    Why not sit down and discuss it. Explain what you want, what troubles her and decide if you should be living in the same house.

  14. #14
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    If you don't feel she will come around to accept you why do you accept her attitude and let her live in the house?
    If it's not going to work then move on.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  15. #15
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ericka_d View Post
    Did she sign a renter's agreement? If she did not. I personally would take a day off from work, change the locks, and throw her stuff out on the lawn. Also file a restraining order against her.
    Do not do that. Tenancy is not just created by signing a lease, it is created by living in an apartment or house. Ask her to leave and ask her to pay a fair rental value until she leaves. If she won't leave, start eviction proceedings.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  16. #16
    Platinum Member
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    When drinking she calls you names. She sleeps in another bedroom, accuses you of cheating and disapproves of your cross dressing. I can only ask why you consider her anything other than a houseguest at this point and why don?t you invite her to leave?
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  17. #17
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Um, why are y’all still together?

  18. #18
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    There are some good points of advice.

    IMHO, time for you to split with her. This calling you names might, hopefully not, lead to her getting more abusive. She may out you. She may hit you.

    Better to be alone and happy than together and miserable.

    And when you do toss her out, expert her to out you anyway.

    Good luck and keep us informed? In case, should we have folks close by, that can be called in to help.

    HUGS!!

  19. #19
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    Kimdl93 virtually said what I was going to say. Also note that if she ever said 'if you do anything, then I will tell everyone you are a CD' or similar. That's blackmail, and you can use that to hang over her head ... tell anyone, and you'll be arrested, so to speak.

  20. #20
    Reality Check
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    It's obviously time to end the relationship and the living arrangement.
    Krisi

  21. #21
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    Um, why are y’all still together?
    What Micki said. I mean, really. Stop being a doormat. You don't deserve to be abused and taken advantage of just because you are a crossdresser. Let go of that guilt, already.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  22. #22
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    I know in New Zealand, if she says to a judge that she's in a relationship with you for 2 years, half the house would become hers unless you have witnesses to say otherwise.
    So on that basis, I would show her the door before the 2 year mark if she didn't sign an exclusion waver (yes, my wife signed one before we got to the 2 year point).
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  23. #23
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    Wow Rachel. In NZ just two years of living together gives you property rights? That is really harsh. As for renters,
    several years ago I was convinced to rent the upstairs of my family house to a relative's "friends". My wife strongly advised against it. But I didn't listen and of course she was right. I contacted a lawyer about evictions and found that in NY it isn't as easy as telling someone to leave and changing the locks. The best bet is to hire an attorney who specializes in this area and follow their advice.

  24. #24
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Renee,

    I suppose the base line question is are you in love with her a visa versa. If the answer to either is no then time to draw a line and get your house back. It's obvious she's not going to suddenly come around and accept your dressing, you sleep separately because of your dressing so to me that signals the end of the relationship.

    Tell her the relationship is over and can she please as soon as possible find herself somewhere else to live. As others have said it may be prudent to seek legal advice just to make sure she can't file for some form of part ownership beforehand. If that's a possibility then take appropriate steps.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  25. #25
    Junior Member Renee Demarea's Avatar
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    Thanks for all your thoughts, A update is that she came home that night and was in disbelief got PO , and then continued to pull about 10 ft of hanging clothes and threw them in the middle of the room. We fought back and forth till 700 am , got up around 10 and she left with her daughter. Return about 5 hrs latter we spent the rest of the weekend cleaning out boxes closets and wall hangings . She cannot find a place to go with all this stuff and two cats also. She has began to rethink the arrangement we have and maybe more forgiving moving forward ? Time will tell, the line is drawn in the sand. give it a few weeks ttul Renee

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