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Thread: To Purge or not

  1. #1
    Junior Member Avi's Avatar
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    To Purge or not

    In the near future we (wife ad I) will be moving our home to another state. Keeping my special belonging hidden during the move will be a challenge. We will be moving to a more rural location and the opportunity to restock my wardrobe from scratch will be very difficult. If the destination was in a different location there would not be as much of a problem but acquiring a new wardrobe in a small town will be hard. Has anyone else gone through this situation.
    Avi

  2. #2
    Gold Member
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    Never Purge, Rather put in a box and put into storage. That way you can always come back
    at a low cost.
    Rader

  3. #3
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I no longer use the word purge, as Lauren's final post changed my mind about the word. It is such a negative sounding word. Maybe whittle down, give to charity, donate sounds better. Or letting someone else enjoy the things. Never been married, so dont know what to tell you.

  4. #4
    California Dreamin Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    The vast majority of purge posts I’ve seen seem to express regret at doing so. Maybe put your things in a box marked “garage” or some such that’d be less likely to be opened immediately?
    Michaela


    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush

  5. #5
    New Member
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    Never Purge,

    Biggest regret ever was this satin jane norman mini dress in beige, it fit so well and felt so good, one day I thought id try and give up Cding not a chance but chucked it all in the bin.

    Oh to have that dress back

    Simone x

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    I can relate to both dressing privately and living in a small town. That presents some challenges but if you purge it's going to be difficult when your first opportunity to dress comes up. Do you have some items like tools or something you can merge your things in with where nobody is likely to look. In my case I play guitar and the last place my wife would look is inside a guitar case or amplifier. You surely must have a hobby or work shop or fishing boat with a live well or somewhere like that. That would be the way to move them in secret.

  7. #7
    Junior Member Avi's Avatar
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    My term purge might not be the correct word. If I donate my current wardrobe totally it will be difficult to rebuild. If I put in with the moving stuff there is a chance of discovery. I have some time to decide, I do feel that it would be a regret to give up my current things if I can not replace them at a later date.
    Avi

  8. #8
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    Ive never had to hide my wardrobe during a move. I have made the mistake of purging a couple of times, and as noted by others, the purge was regrettable, for the expense and the futility of it. Since I presume you are not out to your wife, you have a challenge of how to manage to pack and keep those packed items separate from things your wife might eventually open. My thought would probably be to surreptitiously ship your wardrobe to a storage unit in a nearby community, at least until you can get this all figured out.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    What about renting one of those closet size storage areas near your new home for a month or is it too far to make an advance trip? Aside from that if you know any other crossdressers who could hold it for you until you decide a plan. I hope you think of something or you'll be making long discrete shopping trips to the nearest bigger town next time the fog rolls in.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Kelli_cd's Avatar
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    Have you ever purged before? If you have, then you likely know that immediate pang of regret, and "Oh, I wish I still had _____________."

    Even if you change purge to "donate", get rid of", or anything else, you will likely regret doing so soon after.
    I'm married in a DADT relationship. I can't imagine what I'd do if we decided to move. The best thing would be to have talk with the misses and hope that she understands. Or accepts. Or doesn't freak out.

    Even though I haven't done it, I would recommend having the talk. Short of that, figure out a way to transport your items that minimizes the chances of being found out. If those options don't work, decide which items you absolutely need to keep, and donate the rest.

  11. #11
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
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    DON'T PURGE Glenda will be going away but I will not purge. Maybe somethings that are to small or old or I haven't worn in years. But everything is staying.
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  12. #12
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Avi,

    If the risks of packing your wardrobe in with the rest of the household items is too great is it possible you could mail it to yourself for collection from the post office near where you're moving to? Alternatively is there a form of ship and store company that'll hold your stash until you can collect it locally?

    Also have you considered vacuum bags, the ones where you put clothes in, zip them up and then suck out all the air with the vacuum? They significantly reduce the volume of clothing making it easier to squeeze a lot into one box.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    There is a good amount of responses and it seems that purging will only lead to sadness eventually. Never purge, I think you need to find a way to ship all your nice things.
    Crissy

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member GracieRose's Avatar
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    Not.
    Be creative. Consider some of the suggestions offered by others here.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    If you need to hide your women's clothes from your wife you can always put them at the bottom of whatever you are transporting your men`s clothing in. Getting more creative you can hide a shirt inside a shirt before folding it or put panties down a pants leg. The possibilities are endless...

  16. #16
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    Who is going to uncover your girl clothes during the move? Do movers or friends routinely open sealed boxes during a move? If the wife is unaware of your dressing then it will be hard to hiding them.

  17. #17
    -1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    To Purge or not

    . . . that is the question 🤔. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sling the slips and eye shadows which costs an outrageous fortune, or shave arms and face a sea of trouble, and in disposing them, end them? 🧐 🎭.

    - L.

  18. #18
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    The best idea seems to be arranging a storage locker/facility somewhere. Do not purge! You will only regret it later.
    Wishing you much happiness in your new home.
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  19. #19
    Platinum Member
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    Perhaps doing a pre-move trip and finding a U-Haul or similar self storage facility to put your clothing into storage for several months. The local U-Haul facility in my area has relatively small lockers as well as very large ones. You should be able to locate one near where you're moving to using the Internet. I have to assume you already have a home to move into.

  20. #20
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydianne View Post
    . . . that is the question 🤔. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to sling the slips and eye shadows which costs an outrageous fortune, or shave arms and face a sea of trouble, and in disposing them, end them? 🧐 🎭.

    - L.
    Lydianne,

    Not wishing to go off post but Shakespeare rewritten for CD'ers is something I'd pay to see. Your post brought a smile to my face.

  21. #21
    Reality Check
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    First of all, if you are hiding your dressing and your "stuff" from your wife, it's only a matter of time before you slip up or she finds it. You should find a way to tell her about it.

    As for the immediate problem, it's been suggested that you rent a storage unit and put your stuff there until you are settled in in your new place. That's a good idea. It might be possible to ship it to a storage business near your new location and have them put it into storage for you. You just have to make sure your wife doesn't see any receipts or communications from the storage company.

    Hiding things from your wife is difficult, stressful, and not entirely honest. The longer you do it, the more difficult it will be when the time comes.
    Krisi

  22. #22
    -1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater View Post
    Not wishing to go off post but Shakespeare rewritten for CD'ers is something I'd pay to see.
    Titus Androgynous.
    MACbeth.
    Romeo 2 Juliet.
    Much a DADT About Dressing.
    Twelfth Night En Femme.
    A Midsummer Night's Cross-Dream.

    .

    - L.

  23. #23
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post

    Hiding things from your wife is difficult, stressful, and not entirely honest. The longer you do it, the more difficult it will be when the time comes.
    This is absolutely correct, once you lose her trust it will take a long time to recover and maybe you never will regain that trust.
    Crissy

  24. #24
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater View Post
    Lydianne,

    Not wishing to go off post but Shakespeare rewritten for CD'ers is something I'd pay to see. Your post brought a smile to my face.
    Well, considering all the women’s roles were played by men originally, do we really need to change anything?

  25. #25
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    Get yourself a pair of large stereo speaker cabs with screw on backs and pack them.

    That's where I kept my stash for years!

    At least keep the things you know will be hard to replace.
    I purged over 100 dresses last month but kept all my wigs, forms, heels, and foundation garments knowing they would be hard to replace!
    Last edited by Judy-Somthing; 03-03-2020 at 07:44 PM.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

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