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Thread: Spoke with my wife....

  1. #1
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Spoke with my wife....

    This morning in bed I spoke with my wife about this CD thing.

    In bed with sleepy heads. I reminded her about a few times in the past she asked if I had mascara on. Also she has seen a small things like a bra.

    Anyway I told her that I am very much liking this. I want to get fully dressed for her. I would like to sit Saturday night and have dinner at home. I would cook but as Natalie but the other me. She declined.
    So, I will not push her but I did tell her that working from home is giving me more time to CD. I can stay CDed all day. I am learning how to use a curling iron on my long hair. That is another matter.
    I told her that she could catch me and not to worry. I am not gay, TV or anything. I just like the feeling and the look I have. I look a lot like my sisters.

    Now I have to make sure that I do not stay this way subconsciously so she will catch me. At least not until I have my hair figured out and my make up routine.

    Love Natalie

  2. #2
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    And what did she say in her sleepy state?

  3. #3
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Hi Natalie, Good you had the talk with your wife and even though she declined to have you dressed making dinner she did not totally flip out. The ice is broken and you already know not to push it, women can be very fickle so slow is absolutely the way to go. Good luck with your progress and let us know how you do.
    Crissy

  4. #4
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    She said no to the dinner. I will not push it.

    I did warn her that if she comes home early from work, give me a heads up to make sure the coast is clear. Otherwise she will be surprised to see how much I look like my sisters and how good I am getting with hair and makeup.
    Each time I do the hair and makeup I am learning what works and what does not. There is an improvement each time.

    Today I will go to the store (as me) buy my own curling iron.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Natalie,
    I would suggest you don't push too hard otherwise you could lose everything . After I came out to my wife I thought it might make things easier but it became increasingly worse . It isn't a nice feeling to know someone can't wait to get you out the front door and then they become more and more frightened to walk back in it !
    The real me ,no going back.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I’m a little concerned about this post. There seems to be a lack of empathy for your SO. If this is your first time coming out to her, what was her emotional reaction? No offense but you seem to be plowing ahead like a bull in a china shop and I do t know that this will end up well for you. You seem to be trying to dictate to your wife instead of working with her. It’s possible I’m missing something here...

  7. #7
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Hi Micki,
    I am very easy with my wife. In the past we had some clothing exchanges. She know that I have doing this for years. That being said, I am getting bolder.

    I will never get to the point where she is asking me to go away. I will back way off before it comes to this.

    I am all dolled up now as I write this. I took more photos and I must say that I can carry the face off pretty good...today. Micki, you look pretty.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I see. It’s important to remember that sometimes when they don’t say “no” they still wish they could. Keep the lines of communication open and constantly check in with her and her feelings. If you wait until she says “this is too much” there’s a good chance you’ve waited too long.

  9. #9
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    As someone who has been invited to leave, you may not know when you have reached that point until it has already gone past.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  10. #10
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Thanks for the input. I always say "This is not a race".

  11. #11
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    Natalie, that's lovely and I really hope this works out for you both. Remember the good advice from others here too - baby steps and keep talking.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Well, it looks pretty good. But is it? I have to agree with Micki and Teresa. Don't overestimate your wife's response and have a lot of empathy for her feelings. I detect a bit of underlying one sidedness in your descriptions that may be a bit of pink fog controlling your perceptions. Consider that your wife may be testing the waters to see how far you go and how she should really react to the possibility of escalation in your behavior and whether you are willing to manage your times of expression with consideration for her feelings. Go slow and try to stay tuned for those little indications that her real feelings are a bit different from what she openly says. Your wife married, in her eyes, a man and if you pull a switcheroo on her you may no longer be desirable. Baby steps at this time are really important while she is assessing the new you. Don't be superficial in interpreting her apparent reaction; go deep and try to get a feel for what she is really feeling. Watch her body language, facial expressions, and how she structures her verbal responses. Those can reveal the deeper emotions, but they are hard to read. You really have to set your desires aside to read those with any accuracy. I wish you the best of luck, but please recognize you are headed into potentially dangerous territory. No hungry lions behind every tree, but you never know where one will pop out and growl at you.

  13. #13
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Thank you Gretchen. I will keep all that in mind. Slow down.

  14. #14
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    I have had this same talk with my wife. We have taken things slowly. I let her lead for the most part. We have been dress and shoes shopping together with me in male form. A couple of months ago we went out to a CD event together, and plan to go again soon. It was tough and still moving slowly, but glad I took that step. Just be patient.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Joni T's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    This morning in bed I spoke with my wife about this CD thing.

    In bed with sleepy heads. I reminded her about a few times in the past she asked if I had mascara on. Also she has seen a small things like a bra.

    Anyway I told her that I am very much liking this. I want to get fully dressed for her. I would like to sit Saturday night and have dinner at home. I would cook but as Natalie but the other me. She declined.
    So, I will not push her but I did tell her that working from home is giving me more time to CD. I can stay CDed all day. I am learning how to use a curling iron on my long hair. That is another matter.
    I told her that she could catch me and not to worry. I am not gay, TV or anything. I just like the feeling and the look I have. I look a lot like my sisters.

    Now I have to make sure that I do not stay this way subconsciously so she will catch me. At least not until I have my hair figured out and my make up routine.

    Love Natalie
    I hate to break it to you but TV/CD are one and the same, so yes, you ARE a TV.
    Jon

  16. #16
    Member missjoann49's Avatar
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    Natalie, you had a talk with her and you were both as you say sleepy heads.
    She did decline you as far as making dinner dressed as Natalie, but did not say to much else
    Do not push the issue as she may be thinking things over in her mind about this
    Might I suggest that you try and talk with her at some point further on down the road when you are both awake
    Best wishes to both of you
    Missjoanne

  17. #17
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Thank you Miss Joanne. And gee wiz I did not know I was TV. See what you learn here.

    Natalie

  18. #18
    Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Natalie,

    I think it would have been a bit more appropriate to first ask how she would feel about your dressing at home while she is away, rather than to warn her she might catch you. I have to agree with the others who are concerned you are telling her what you are doing instead of asking. I would not want anyone to get their feelings hurt. It is difficult to recover and could really shut things down to being fully closeted which is sadly my situation.

    Best of luck, take your time. Do not end up like me please.

    Sandi

  19. #19
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Yes, I will. Sorry for the situation you are in.

    Natalie

  20. #20
    Member Natalie5004's Avatar
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    Today is a good day. I have a nice clip in my hair, clear fingernail polish on, painted toes, nylons on, a bra, (no forms) mascara and lipstick. (baby steps)
    My wife is good with it, no comments. I asked if I could do a little dressup to help me stay relaxed during these difficult times.
    I also asked her to wear a nice dress today, full make up, do her hair and look great for me. (She is beautiful). I hope she complies.
    I have a wonderful wife and I love her to death.

    Natalie

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Natalie,
    It is hard to come out to our partners, after years of keeping crossdressing a secret. I learnt not to play games in the hope that my wife "catch" me and initiate the conversation. It did not happen - she never took the hints...
    You are doing the right thing by discussing the issue in an adult way.
    ask yourself what you want from this conversation with your wife.
    And try to look at this from her point of view. That way you should be able to find a compromise that you can both live with.
    luv J

  22. #22
    Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    My wife is good with it, no comments.
    Natalie
    Natalie, you may want to ask her if she was completely okay? As many have already pointed out, a wife not saying no doesn't equate validation. She may be holding some feelings for all kinds of reasons.

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