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Thread: The "past is prelude to the future".

  1. #1
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    The "past is prelude to the future".

    Something Michellebej said on another post has me wondering if others find this to be true in their lives also.

    Quote, "One of our truisms is that "past is prelude to the future". Meaning that for the vast majority of people behavior expressed in the past, and especially the period from birth to early 20s is "hardwired" into a person. I'll just throw out right now that some people do change, most though just control their behavior. Though they often think they have changed. A person can go for years even decades thinking they have changed till they encounter the right trigger."

    I find that the music I prefer to listen to is basically the same as when I was younger. The sexual desires that I have are still the same as when I was younger. The type of people I prefer to spend my time with are about the same as when I was younger. My tastes in food are basically the same as when I was younger. My interest in sports and activities is the same from my youth. Some things have developed, or evolved beyond my youth, but if a line was drawn backwards, it usually connects to something in my youth.

    I find it really true, most of what I am, is a result of my early years. I have even said that, "people spend the first 20 years of their life becoming an adult, and rest of their life overcoming their childhood". I guess I am 'hardwired' into what I do today, what about the rest of you?
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

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    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Hmm. In my life, my taste in music as expanded since I was young, my range of sexual desire has expanded, I spend time with people I could never have imagined as a youth, my taste for foods has expanded, I have interests in sports and activities I never gave a second thought to when young.

    I feel growth is the very purpose of all life and if you have decided you’ll always be the same, then you’re basically just biding your time until death. Yes, you can say our selves are rooted in our past, but that doesn’t mean our past defines us. Our past is just so much raw clay to build your future. It’s what you DO with it that really counts.

  3. #3
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    Gillian,
    I don't think there's a definitive answer , there so many circumstances that change as time passes , I'm sure my life would be so different if I hadn't married and had kids and now grandchildren .

    I see my first twenty years as barely getting my toes wet , certainly in those years I wasn't adult enough to take on the challenges that happened later . I started my photography business at 28 , I never stopped learning for thirty years and knowing how to handle people . I didn't learn to scuba dive till my 40s and then learning to ski when I was 55 . Since then my art had become part of my life so I'm learning new skills and if all that wasn't enough at 68 I started living as a woman .

    Is there anything left over from my youth ? I know my music taste has broadened , my sexual needs and appetite have certainly changed .

    I guess on a sad note the parts from my past that come back are mostly bad memories .

    Overall I feel the only part of me hardwired is being TG , but it took an adult to see the sense in the past ,

  4. #4
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    While a lot of the adult I am can be sourced to the child or teen I was (self-conscious, caring for others, aspiring rational mind), fortunately a lot of things have been corrected in adulthood. I can eat smelly cheese that would have made me cringe back then, I quit smoking and like to think I am less irritable and more tolerant. These are more adjustments than deep changes so it doesn't invalidate Michellebej's point. But being able to better control your emotions and impulses is to me one of the definitions of being adult
    But yes, I fully relate to what's Michellebej says. It always astounds me how adults can be linked to their early years for beliefs, behaviors and all, once you get to know them enough.
    It is an interesting fact that all human body cells regenerate themselves after a period ranging from a few hours to roughly 15 years, except... the neurones, which have a projected lifespan of 150 years and therefore have the same age as their owner. If you are more than 15, not ONE cell in your body is the same as when you were born (yes, even that old scar tissue from childhood), except for your mind. Is it why some memories and behaviors stick, I don't know. But it is fascinating.

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    Imagine how confusing life would be if things were the other way around!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Hmmm, Gillian, u bring up some real philosophical stuff! U sound like a person who is either young and/or very self disciplined? Since u don't post your age I'm thinking u r about 50 or younger?
    Do u live by a strict code of what u feel is wrong and rite?

    I'm approaching 80, so I've seen a lot of stuff and a lot of changes in the world and in me! While I can look back at myself and see some connections? Mostly what I see is a kid and young man who didn't know diddly! But, sure thot he did!
    The older I get the more I realize how little I know!

    I must agree with Micki. My life was and is, about learning and exploring. Both life and myself. Altho, the older I get, the harder it is to appreciate the new music, customs of the day, and lots of other things. But, there isn't a day goes by that I'm not amazing about something I didn't know before then.

    The day I stop enjoying learning and trying new things? That's the day I'll be ready to go!
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 05-17-2020 at 04:16 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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    Sherry ,
    The problem is with age our memory isn't what it was , I may have learnt new things and then forgotten again .

    Gillian ,
    One thing music from our youth does unlock is memories , I also find the sense of smell has the same effect , bras always had a distintive smell as did certain materials .

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    I "googled" the question as to "What age has a person developed his or her personality?" My recollection was it is early on. Just reviewing the headlines/teasers it seems they confer what I had read years ago. By age 4 to 6 a child's personality is fairly well developed. From what I have been told by my parents that seems to hold true. That does not mean we do not develop along the way. It does not mean we do not assess the meaning of new experiences and incorporate them into everyday actions.

    I think there is a qualifier that goes along with that statement. I have been told by people in the military and readings that the male brain is not fully developed until the early to mid twenties. The military likes men young and malleable. It is easier at a younger age to break someone down and mold them into whatever you need. The older the person becomes the more entrenched their belief system becomes, and, will not act against moral code. To some extent I did see that when I was in the military. I am basically the same person at four as I am at seventy-two.

  9. #9
    Always been a GIRL. Michelle1955's Avatar
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    I do not post very often, I do read post every few days. This post got me thinking: “ By age 4 to 6 a child's personality is fairly well developed.” For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a girl / female always looked forward to the catalogs to see the lingerie and girls cloths. Most of the kids near my house / my age were girls so I had a lot of girl play time with my playmates. At about the 4-6 age things progressed from just playing to trying on my friends panties and she tried on my underwear at the same time when we playing in hear bedroom. So went from wearing cloths while playing with the girls to panties at a very early age. 60 years later still wear female cloths/bras/panties etc. to manage that woman within.

  10. #10
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle1955 View Post
    "By age 4 to 6 a child's personality is fairly well developed."
    The Artificial Intelligence scientist and author of the Creatures video game, Steve Grand, in his book "Creation: Life and how to make it", has a very interesting observation about this, I quote:
    "You and I do not live in the real world at all: we live in a virtual world inside our heads. Most of the time this dream-world is closely synchronized to external reality, but sometimes it is free to live out a different future of its own. There is plenty of evidence to show that we are not really conscious of how things are, but only of how we think they are, in our own models of the world. When I trained as a teacher the most important thing I learned from watching children is that their brains are fully competent from an early age - it is only their models of the world that need a bit of tinkering with. The program is all there, but it lacks good data. Watch any eight-year-old girl (it is more noticeable with girls) and you see a grown-up woman. It is just that this woman is entirely capable of believing in fairies and often confuses fantasy with reality. This is because her reality is a fantasy too - her mental model of the world is not yet finely tuned to the real thing."
    In my case the idea of femininity I developed as a child was based on my child's virtual world, full of comic books superheroines and magazine cover models. It seeded my crossdressing. As an adult I know this is not how women look like. But in my brain the fantasy is still there. But I know it is a fantasy.
    Last edited by DianeT; 05-21-2020 at 10:14 AM.

  11. #11
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    I think you may be applying the rule too rigidly. This is shortened version of "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior". This has been studied for decades by psychologists and is somewhat true with habitual behavior but you cannot extrapolate it too far. People do learn from their mistakes, they find God, have near death experiences, go to war, go to jail, find love get an educations and otherwise learn from experience and adjust accordingly. Also, new things come along, attitudes change, people age and a whole host of things alter our behavior. The only hard and fast rule you can apply across the board and life is that there are no rules that you can apply hard and fast across the board and life.

    Robin
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

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