Ginni,
When I started to CD seriously in the last couple of years, I thought the clothes were essential to making me feminine. Problem is, women don't always dress up to go to the hardware or grocery store! Part of being feminine is to believe it no matter whether you're dressed in jeans and an old denim shirt, or dressed to go out to a dinner party. The clothes do not make the woman. The soul makes the woman. It's why I consider trans a "process" and not so much an identity. It's a process to help you finally reveal to the world your true identity, which is "woman". The important part is revealing that soul. I think at the beginning, yes ultra-feminine dress is important to help us convince ourselves of our identity. We have to be able to see a woman when we look in the mirror. However HRT has started to change that perspective a lot. Until we can physically separate, I have to greatly suppress my presentation as a woman, limiting it to jeans and bland women's shirts, to not antagonize my wife. Given the COVID-19 crisis, it could be a while. But I still feel feminine by taking care of my body: close shaving (but no makeup), trimming my eyebrows, removing body hair, sleeping in a nice feminine nightgown (separate bedrooms).
It's helping me "normalize" womanhood. I just get up in the morning, put on a bra and panties, and wear what's appropriate for the day, like last week when I took the snow tires off my car and washed and waxed it. Or like today, just lounging around the house in comfy jeans and a warm fleece-lined shirt.
