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Thread: So, it's just clothes, right?

  1. #51
    MtF Transgender JeanTG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    100 km from Montreal, Quebec.

    When I started to CD seriously in the last couple of years, I thought the clothes were essential to making me feminine. Problem is, women don't always dress up to go to the hardware or grocery store! Part of being feminine is to believe it no matter whether you're dressed in jeans and an old denim shirt, or dressed to go out to a dinner party. The clothes do not make the woman. The soul makes the woman. It's why I consider trans a "process" and not so much an identity. It's a process to help you finally reveal to the world your true identity, which is "woman". The important part is revealing that soul. I think at the beginning, yes ultra-feminine dress is important to help us convince ourselves of our identity. We have to be able to see a woman when we look in the mirror. However HRT has started to change that perspective a lot. Until we can physically separate, I have to greatly suppress my presentation as a woman, limiting it to jeans and bland women's shirts, to not antagonize my wife. Given the COVID-19 crisis, it could be a while. But I still feel feminine by taking care of my body: close shaving (but no makeup), trimming my eyebrows, removing body hair, sleeping in a nice feminine nightgown (separate bedrooms).

    It's helping me "normalize" womanhood. I just get up in the morning, put on a bra and panties, and wear what's appropriate for the day, like last week when I took the snow tires off my car and washed and waxed it. Or like today, just lounging around the house in comfy jeans and a warm fleece-lined shirt.

  2. #52
    Member Mark B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post

    I personally think any male who says he just likes to wear women's clothing for its style and colors is deluding himself and refusing to accept he is more than a man in a dress.
    Stephanie, I disagree that every man is deluding himself.

    To me it is just the clothes. I present myself as a man, but wear skirts and high heels. I don't act feminine when wearing my skirts, just a man wearing something a bit different from most. I wear skirts and heels everyday to work. I don't wear dresses as they do not hang right as most have room for breasts. I do have one Bodycon dress that I have worn several times that fits snugly in the chest. I wear skirts and heels because I enjoy doing it. It gives me the freedom to be different.

    My wife is the one who encourages me to once in a while to go out dressed with wig and forms. She calls it "girls night out time!" But she also understands I only do it to make her happy as I feel very uncomfortable when dressed as a female. At this point it is not just clothes.
    I was told I have balls for wearing skirts! My reply? "That's because balls this big won't fit in pants!"

  3. #53
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Grand Rapids Michigan and West Michigan
    Quote Originally Posted by GaleWarning View Post
    A few years ago I attended an event in London which was also attended by at least one couple, where the husband was presenting as a female. I spoke with his SO and was floored by her comment. "He's still my husband, regardless of how he is dressed."

    Here's the link to my OP:
    I suppose it is ?just clothes? until loved ones start sacrificing for it.

  4. #54
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Living in the present
    Quote Originally Posted by BillieAnneJean View Post
    I suppose it is ?just clothes? until loved ones start sacrificing for it.
    I think the point that I would make is this:

    If society did not make a big deal out of insisting that men should not wear clothing which is normally worn by women; if anyone was free to wear whatever item of clothing they wished to; then it would be "just clothes".

    Acceptance is the key, whether it be by one's spouse or partner, or the individual who is wearing the clothing, or a member of the general public.

  5. #55
    Junior Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Quote Originally Posted by GaleWarning View Post
    Acceptance is the key, whether it be by one's spouse or partner, or the individual who is wearing the clothing, or a member of the general public.
    Very true. However a spouse's acceptance will generally not be the same for a stranger dressing than for her/his spouse as in the latter case there are implications for the couple (gender identity questions, emotional involvement).

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