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Thread: Did your dressing increase after a divorce or relationship change.

  1. #1
    Paula Paula_56's Avatar
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    Did your dressing increase after a divorce or relationship change.

    The only thing holding me back, is my wife's un-acceptance. I really do desire to live as a woman and probably transition but at 61 have decided not to because of how it would affect so many others.

    But if i was living alone I believe I would just start dressing more and more and eventually being living as a woman.

    Just curious what so of your experiences may have been?
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  2. #2
    Kendra an ohio crossdress kendracd's Avatar
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    Yes I was able to dress more often after my divorce, btw my dressing was not the issue in my devorce, .I totally love to dress and all the time,(except when I work) I'm 61 as well after retirement I intend to go 24/7 woman, throw every bit of male clothing I have in the trash, and already growing my hair longer.
    Last edited by char GG; 03-26-2020 at 08:52 AM. Reason: per rule: The discussion of ANY herbal medication and any kind of supplements for ANY reason is prohibited

  3. #3
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Paula, my wife died 4 years ago! Since then I have discovered that I am a transwoman! I own (but only because I have not got rid of them) very few men's clothes! My name change is on hold but when it is official, I will be Lana Mae 24/7 which I mostly am right now, except at work! I am on HRT now for 16 months! Life is wonderful and I am being me! Elbow Bump Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  4. #4
    Paula Paula_56's Avatar
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    Good for you Lana Mae, it is sad that you lost your wife, however I am glad to see you are making lemonade out of the lemons.

    Did you cross-dress prior to losing your wife or did your realzation come on as a surprise after she died.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Good for you I feel that I would follow the same path

  5. #5
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    I was dressing a lot before the divorce. Thus the divorce. But, yes, for a while it did. Once I settled into having the freedom to dress whenever I wanted, I certainly "flattened the curve". Probably less overall.

  6. #6
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
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    Sort of. I bought my first feminine garments not too long after a break up.

  7. #7
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    YES! Since I have been living alone I present as a woman about 90% of the time.
    Hugs, Carole

  8. #8
    Junior Member Dressing up's Avatar
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    Marriage broke up 7 years ago, ex accepted my dressing but let me know that it definitely got in the way of raising the family. I did not like to dress in front of her since she considered it checking out from the responsibilities of our kids and most other responsibilities. I did not want to dress in front of the kids either. My opportunities to dress back then were limited, partly by my fears as well as lack of support. Since we split, I have the kids 1/2 time and that leaves plenty of time to explore my feminine side.
    I have dated two women since, 2 + years each, both were very accepting of my CD side, helped me with make up and clothes. Both relationships broke off for reasons unrelated to CD but they transformed my dressing from "the thrill dresses and heels" to exploring how to dress like the women around me. I learned more about make up, and doing the little things that can make me feel more feminine. They also encouraged me to go to meetup groups for CD/Trans ladies. Lately, I find myself with out an SO and getting quite comfortable by myself and with who I am. I like to dress casually, and now wear womans jeans, shoes and light make up almost every day. I am working up the courage to come out to friends and family, very nervous about that.
    All in all, I am in a much better place than I was when married.

    P.S. Paula, you look fabulous.

  9. #9
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
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    Just increased it by a couple hundred percent. Didn't get my first wig and boobs until after the practice marriage, then multiple outfits, shoes, some more makeup.

    Only drawback was it was before internet shopping got serious...I would have probably bought way more stuff.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Paula, let's just say I was naive! I wore panties and some lingerie but purged them right away! Was not sure what all of this was about! Did not really explore it until the wife passed on and a few months later I bought a package of panties and came to this forum! The rest is history! Elbow Bump Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    Paula, Yes my dressing certainly changed after I lost my first wife. She knew and was accepting and supportive, in fact I would say even encouraging in many ways, but always within our agreed boundaries. Removing those boundaries, opened up new opportunities, and I began dressing much more, came out to most of my friends, and found this site.

  12. #12
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    I dressed some during marriage wife as OK with it, but 3 kids wasn't the best as far as time. 10 years since my divorce (not related to dressing). Finally got my own house and now it seems I can't dress enough. I am working form home a lot before the virus now 3 weeks and counting at home. The only issue I have is I don't go out dressed. If I am dressed I don't get a lot done besides work. I hope this will die down now the weather is getting warmer and I will go outside more.

  13. #13
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    My wife and I have been married for almost fifty years. Although not divorced I have had the opportunity to dress on occasion for seven to ten days when my wife traveled out of state to visit relatives; Chicago and Phoenix. As a retiree I was free to come and go, do what I wanted. There were days strung together when I was totally en femme. I did go out in the evenings for drive and strolls. As just as a cross dresser I would find being en femme 24/7 for 365 days to be limiting. There may be interaction with some people, but, I'm getting somewhat that feeling with this self isolation with COVID-19. It is nice to be able to slip between male and female expressions whenever I want, but, I also do enjoy male roles.

  14. #14
    Banned Spammer
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    Yes it did

  15. #15
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    My wife was OK with my dressing, She even bought my different outfits.
    But after she passed away, I started to dress more. I was afraid to dress to often
    in front of her. I was a little scared tat she might start thinking the wrong way.
    Rader

  16. #16
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    After my divorce I got my own place to live. I have been able to get dressed whenever I want, living the dream. She knew I CDed and would berate me at every opportunity. Even if I wasn't dressing. Life is better now.

  17. #17
    Member FrannGurl's Avatar
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    It definitely did. After my divorce about 10 years ago from once in a while to daily

  18. #18
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Yes, it's a long story but I'll cut it short

    Separated from Wife
    Rented room, three roommates all guys, six months in I came out.

    At the one year mark I rented a house, moved in my boyfriend, along with friend of his who also had partial custody of his five year old daughter. I was the lady of the house. The friend's daughter and I became like sisters. The house was within walking distance of the bar. We had parties and I was the hostess.

    It was for one of these parties I had run to the store. I was dressed for the party. I learned to dress early because some people show up early. Well I'm pushing a basket, I round the corner of the aisle, and there is this big man, like deer in the head lights. I'm thinking oh no. He just stands there as I go by. As I'm heading to the checkout I see him racing toward me, I stop. I now know what he wants, my number.

    Two year point I break up with the boyfriend I was living with and rent a room from a lady who is ten years older than me. A year later she passes away .

    Over the next three years we became very close. We were quite the couple, lots of people would think she is my mother. It was because of how we were, she was really something with that hair, white with purple tips, it was short and she would spike it. It really went with her personality. We got noticed everywhere we went and people would remember us. Everyone loved her hair, yes I would also receive complements too.

    Year Five, This wonderful lady passed away on March first. Leaving me with my hart torn open looking for a new place to live. It wasn't the Coronavirus

    Yesterday I rented a room, as JEAN, the house like around the corner from one of my closest friends, yes she is very excited. She just got married on February 29th and now we are neighbors. I altered the dress, made a dress for her granddaughter and also made my dress. It was one of the hardest days of my life. Putting on a happy face while praying for my landlord who I knew wasn't going to make it.

    I move in on Sunday, my only day off. There is a bar within walking distance, my friend's house is on the way. It is the new Saturday hang out as they have karaoke that night. But sadly they like the rest of the bars are closed. My friend doesn't drink but she does sing and her husband is a lead singer in a punk band.

    I have left out a lot, enough for a book, anyway this is my journey over the past five years.

    I may look different but I really haven't changed. Being out and living as I do does take more time, but it is worth it. Given the chance I would do it all over again.

    On February 9th I opened a fortune cookie it read "You shall seek out new adventures." Well here we go again.

    Note, I not visiting with any of my friends face to face right now. Please be safe out there.
    Last edited by Jean 103; 03-27-2020 at 07:35 AM.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Did your dressing increase after a divorce or relationship change?

    I dressed often prior to my divorce. She didnt mind because she was bisexual/gay. Sort of win, win.

    After the divorce, my new girlfriend embraced my dressing and we can shop together etc I ensured she knew prior to moving further in our relationship that I was unique (in a good way of course lol).
    HRT 8th week....

  20. #20
    Platinum Member
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    My ex asked me to leave because of my dressing. My initial response was a total purge, followed by 18 months of total abstinence. That was the bargaining phase, I suppose (with bit of denial thrown in for good measure). For the next year I cycled between denial and self acceptance, with a couple smaller purges along the way. I finally realized that throwing money away was pointless...and self flaggelation wasn't going to undo what had been done. At that point, I allowed myself to emerge gradually, came out to a slowly increasing number of people and tried to level off my emotions. It has worked to some extent. I am retired and present myself as a woman most of the time. That isn't a particularly dramatic accomplishment, tho, because I live alone in a very rural area.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  21. #21
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Paula, i really like your classy modest style. I am almost 66, on Soc Sec. Single al lmy life. For some reasons, when i had roommates, i had a far more powerful desire to dress, but now having m own apartment for a while, i think about dressing most of the time, but very seldom do it. There are other big issues i am dealing with, too, though.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  22. #22
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Paula,
    I try and forget my age because I can't see it as a barrier , some kind person reminded me I'll be 69 next month , I guess it's only a problem if you make it one .

    My divorce is half way through after the two year waiting period but it's basically down to me being TG , my separation meant I could finally and openly be Teresa , it hasn't affected others that much but I knew I couldn't make them an excuse , I could finally be honest with myself .

    After two years living as Teresa it feels perfectly normal , the highs and lows have levelled out .
    The real me ,no going back.

  23. #23
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    Before my wife's passing, she knew but hated my dressing, so I got to do very little. After her death, I became like a kid in a candy shop, and was completely Pink Fog involved. Except when I rarely have to dress in drab, I fully dress from my awakening until I go nighty night.

  24. #24
    Member missjoann49's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lana Mae View Post
    Paula, my wife died 4 years ago! Since then I have discovered that I am a transwoman! I own (but only because I have not got rid of them) very few men's clothes! My name change is on hold but when it is official, I will be Lana Mae 24/7 which I mostly am right now, except at work! I am on HRT now for 16 months! Life is wonderful and I am being me! Elbow Bump Lana Mae
    Lana Mae, you and I are kind of in the same boat as my late wife passed 6 yrs ago. About 3 yrs ago I started HRT, I am very happy with who I have become
    Life is great and I am who I am

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Paula you are very lucky as you present as a beautiful woman
    I have been dressing for quite sometime time and knew who I was meant to be
    Like Lana, 6 yrs ago after my late wife had passed I just decided it was time to move forward
    Today I am who I was meant to be and love it
    Best wishes with your passion

  25. #25
    Danielle cdinmd206's Avatar
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    I have actually dressed less since my divorce. The ex knew I dressed and we had some fun times going out with me dressed. Without her it was not as much fun and I have not gone out in quite awhile. I now have an elderly dad I help take care of and I do not finish with him till late on a Saturday night and by the time I get home I am too tired to get fancied up and spend 2 hours on the road each way to go to the nearest CD friendly place.
    I have to chose Monday weather or not I want to work from home or not and I am leaning towards working at home just so I can dress each day.

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