Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 47

Thread: Relationship with your wife or girlfriend

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    Junior Member crobeson96's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    Southeast USA
    Posts
    91

    Relationship with your wife or girlfriend

    I've just watched some lovely videos on youtube by a crossdresser who spoke of coming out to her wife. She reports that the wife was understanding and accepting which sounds wonderful. What she didn't share was how her relationship with her wife informs or enhances her dressing. She did share that they go out together shopping and have a great time together.
    My question to the forum is how do you feel your experience crossdressing is better because of your significant other?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    1,160
    Welcome to the Mine Field!

    It's great that the video you referenced had a happy ending. However; it isn't always that easy or simple.

    There have been numerous threads on here covering just that topic.

    Do a search and see how they turned out. You'll have answers all over the spectrum and everything in between.

    Good Luck

  3. #3
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    SE Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,875
    Every so often she will buy me something. My recent gifts have been panties, a top and a nightgown. She used to get a kick out of snapping my bra strap. Lots of little things to say I love you.

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    East Yorkshire UK
    Posts
    922
    hello Crobeson,
    my wife accepts my dressing and trusts me not to embarrass her in public. I dress at home and often under-dress when I go out. My wife will occasionally comment on an outfit if she thinks it does not suit me - but generally lets me do as I please. The only limits are the ones I impose on myself.
    luv J

  5. #5
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Michigan USA
    Posts
    7,977
    Not having to dress in secret is big stress reliever and ensures I am stil! trusted - shopping together and dining out dressed are bonuses. An occasional compliment on an outfit is nice too.

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    St.Catharines/Niagara, Ontario
    Posts
    31

    wow.... you have my dream relationship.... congrats

    Quote Originally Posted by bridget thronton View Post
    Not having to dress in secret is big stress reliever and ensures I am stil! trusted - shopping together and dining out dressed are bonuses. An occasional compliment on an outfit is nice too.
    wow.... you have my dream relationship.... congrats

  7. #7
    Heels addict Karine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    161
    The main enhancement since I told her I'm a crossdresser is that I am more relax and our relationship is better.
    From a more practical point of view:
    - she learns me how to shape my eyebrows and buy eyebrows pencil for each of us when she buy one from herself
    - she gives me advice even if sometimes we don't agree (she always saying that my lipstick color is to discreet, she says I have great lips ). She sometimes ask me my opinion on fashion if she is about to buy some new stuff.
    - she show me great on line store for making good deals and always warns me if there are offers for one of my favorite brand. I do the same for her and sometimes buys a present for her on this websites if I saw something I know she would like.
    - I can borrow some of her stuff (jewelry, makeup, perfume) and she can takes some of fine (generally if she likes one my stuff I offer it to her since she will use it far more than me,if I need it when I crossdress I borrow it)
    - once I told her I like jonc bracelet but it is difficult to find some at my size and so she bought me one as present.

    It's, in a way, a win-win situation
    Last edited by Karine; 04-08-2020 at 12:49 PM.
    Boys who dress as girls have more fun.

  8. #8
    Member Lea's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    South east
    Posts
    359
    I posted earlier that after decades of support my wife became non supportive.
    The other day she was making me a special breakfast. She told me she noticed that I was down and thought it was because we are coming close to our daughters birthday. She passed away and her birthday and date of death are difficult. I told her it was because of not being able to dress anymore in front of her. We had a talk and she told me she does not have a problem with my dressing, She did say that I may have been mis-understanding what she was saying as I sometimes become sensitive about the crossdressing issue.
    So last Wednesday I completely shaved, attached my forms, did my nails, makeup and dressed and have been dressing since. She told me that she does not care if I dress until the beaches open back up. I told her I am up for that.
    Today I am breaking in my new long line bra and Rago girdle. Tonight I will be taking off my finger nail polish and applying false fingernails. In for the duration.

  9. #9
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Southern Illinois
    Posts
    3,043
    Better? Absolutely! In the early years, her help, talks, advice, demonstrations, comments, suggestions, etc. were so valuable. We both share a good sense of humor. She hates underwires...I love them. She hates hosiery...I love and wear hose. Our only frustration is going out. We live in a small, gossipy, nosey town. Being outed would be a social and economical disaster. I often dress underneath. We?ve gone out to nearby malls, restaurants and movies, but are not totally at ease. Yes, I realize how fortunate I am and treasure her.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    1,574
    I feel like I cannot say it is better or worse because of my wife. She has limits I would not have without her. But her tolerance / acceptance is so great.

  11. #11
    Junior Member Dressing up's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Central Maryland
    Posts
    59
    My marriage ended 7 years ago. I have had 2 GF since then. The first lasted 2 years the second lasted 2 1/2 years. Both were very accepting of my dressing, my only limits were self imposed, I did not dress in front of either of their kids. I am not very out either, just a few close friends.
    Anyway, my dressing certainly matured with their help. The first GF taught me a lot about skin care and eyeliner. I still do my eyes with the techniques she showed me. We did not go out much since she had 4 kids at home and I had 3 at home back then. She also got me into pajamas rather than nighties. Much better in the cold winter.
    The second was great at critiquing how to blend in. Not that I can really pass, but I do like to look like the other women in the venue we might go to. She also got me into higher end makeup like MAC, there is a reason it costs more than the drug store makeup. We often went out to restaurants, live music, movies. I really enjoyed that and it has made me much confident in incorporating a more feminine attire in general going forward. Unfortunately, both those relationships had significant problems unrelated to CD. Overall, I am better off by myself for at least a while, but I do miss having a GG to guide me. I would love to find a GG friend that would let me be me, they do have a significant head start in the "getting pretty" journey.

  12. #12
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,630
    Quote Originally Posted by Dressing up View Post
    She also got me into higher end makeup like MAC, there is a reason it costs more than the drug store makeup.
    Halleloo Sister! I?ve been preaching the Gospel of Prestige Brand around these parts forever.

    How beneficial a GG is to dressing depends entirely on the GG. A lot of GGs really don?t honestly know that much about fashion or makeup or hair or etiquette or any of those things we consider ?girly?. Others may have some knowledge but are uncomfortable teaching someone else, or really only know enough to get themselves by. Don?t expect every woman to be a font of knowledge of all things womanly.

  13. #13
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,643
    My question to the forum is how do you feel your experience crossdressing is better because of your significant other?
    She has purchased clothing for me. We have gone out together on walks. Depending on my outfits, quality time together....
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  14. #14
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,676
    My cross dressing was a major contributing factor in the end of a sixteen year long marriage.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  15. #15
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Northeast Pa near NJ and NY
    Posts
    10,444
    I count myself as one of the lucky ones.
    When I came out to my wife there were many talks, lots of tears and weeks of unknowns. She eventually joined the forum in the women's area and from that and our messages here she learned a lot about this and about me. We found a support group and began going to meetings and met so many wonderful people who helped both of us. They helped me blossom and her to understand.
    She is fully accepting and we go out together everywhere.
    She provides critiques on clothing choices, hair styles and everything else. As a matter of fact since we are staying home yesterday was one of those days. I think I changed wigs 7 times and don't remember how many outfits. We talked about the looks and her advice, as always, was helpful and welcome.
    It's actually brought us much closer as now I share ALL of me with her where before this part was hidden from her and I would take time from her to dress. Time that I could have spent with her which is how it should be and now is.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Posts
    629
    My wife has been very supportive, and for that I am always very grateful towards her and her open mindedness.

    Before coming out to her, I had to dress in secret. It sucked because I could not dress to relax, I dressed because I wanted to but every little noise would make me paranoid that she was coming home. I was afraid of being caught, so I dressed bare minimum just in case I had to make a quick change.

    Being in the open, I can take my dressing to the next level. I don't have to hide Wendy's clothes, I don't have to fear about Wendy's clothes being found when I am not home. I can now hone my make up skills, and dress to relax, and make a whole day of it. I would say my experience has been very positive and supportive since coming out. If she is not at home, I don't have to be paranoid about little noises worrying about being caught.

  17. #17
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    1,160
    My wife swings from tolerant to accepting.

    I know more about makeup than she does so I don't get any help from that end.

    She'll rarely buy Linda anything, in fact I can't remember the last time she did. It was months ago and a bottle of nail polish, I think.

    I am very conscious of going overboard while she's around. This was a huge complaint she had several years ago, right after I retired. I was dressing in some form every day and she finally exploded.

    I've been very hesitant around her ever since.

    Although I've told her repeatedly to let me know if I'm dressing too much, she replies that she doesn't know the limit until it's reached and/or exceeded. That ain't a lot of help for me!

    Bottom line, I take what I can get and am thankful for that.

  18. #18
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    5,587
    I think that I would like to make a bored (not board) game like Chutes and Ladders (TM) to demonstrate the progression and regression of SO's acceptance.

    Roll the dice. Get a "3". Oh, oh. Your MIL saw you dressed while shopping in Ross.

    I just slid down the chute. That means she doesn't want to see me dressed anymore.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  19. #19
    Junior Member Jennifer Slater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    33
    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    My cross dressing was a major contributing factor in the end of a sixteen year long marriage.
    I am very sorry to read this

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Michelle Crossfire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    NE Ohio
    Posts
    663
    I have mentioned a few times on here. My wife is supportive and somewhat participatory. She is my fashion advisor and consultant. She compliments me when I put a nice outfit together. We talk about it from time to time, have even gone out with others. She still wants her husband most of the time, which is the only real "boundary" that exists other than she won't go out with me local. Her input is invaluable. I think it makes our relationship better as there is no secrecy. She seems to understand why I do it. I am a lucky one, no doubt.
    [B][I]Call me Michelle: doll:

  21. #21
    Member Lea's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    South east
    Posts
    359
    My wife was supportive for 15 years. Then all of a sudden she does not want to see it.
    All other factors remained the same so I do not know why the change.

  22. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    1,160
    Steffi I LOVE IT!!!

    That's as good as reason as any for why my wife's feelings towards my dressing oscillates back and forth.

    What name would you want to give it?

  23. #23
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Nation's Capital
    Posts
    5,587
    IDK. How about:

    Now you see me; now you don't

    As the Gurl Turns
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    734
    My wife claims only 1 in 6 women accept their trans partners. And she was emphatic to point out that SHE is not one of them. So we're heading to separation once this coronavirus nonsense ends.

  25. #25
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Central Alberta, Canada
    Posts
    1,433
    I have a very good relationship with an accepting wife. We have agreed upon boundaries that I can comfortably live within. Having said that, I must say that I did go through pendulum swings in the early days which didn't help me. Now that I have found my equilibrium things are very good for the both of us. I don't go out outwardly dressed, wear make up, wig, or attempt to look like a woman. I do under dress always, wear skirts and hosiery a lot around the house. We have bought clothing together and she has helped on many occasions in my purchases.

    One thing I have learned is to not look better in something than she would. Women fret over every little thing. I have nicer looking legs than her, and it can bug her sometimes. It can annoy her that heels don't bother me and way they can bother her feet, so she never wears heels. So, now you can see why it may be easier to steer clear of somethings, in my case make up, jewelry, and wigs. If compromise keeps the peace, then keep the peace.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State