I will admit, there was initially a lot of arousal and self gratification when I first discovered the wonders inside mom's dresser and closet. I was in my teen years during the 70's and the taboo factor was incredible which heightened the excitement to fetish levels. I can't say I pursued the fetish aspects, but any stories or pictures of boys in dresses really caught my imagination and stayed with me.
Now, however, my dressing happens because it feels natural for me to express my femininity this way. I feel happier, healthier, and whole, as well as more confident when I'm in a skirt. The fetish like excitement has reduced to almost nothing.
I have never thought "fetish" in any of my activities. So if a life-long love of wearing pretty lingerie and an appreciation of the cut and flow of feminine outer clothing combined with the sexual excitement brought about by actually wearing it constitutes "fetish" then I have had it since I was very young. The excitement has lessened (I am 83yo) but the desire continues.
I tend to dress as the woman I want to see, not too over the top but very feminine, it can be skirts, jeans, or a dress, almost always heals, and always stockings or pantyhose. The turn on for me is seeing myself in the mirror when I am finished, and thinking I would love to meet her, that is if she would even give me the time of day.
I think u described how I dress, Brenda. There's not one item that excites me. It's the finished product in the mirror that winds me up!
Only in my case? There is NO SUCH THING, "Over the top"!
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Last edited by docrobbysherry; 04-22-2020 at 11:23 AM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
For me it's the whole package. but it doesn't really get me turned on that way. it's more of feeling like a woman. maybe I'm more girly them some.
Angie
I?m with you Angie. Feeling sexy and feeling like a woman is my number goal. And there is def nothing wrong with being girly 💋
Suzanne - I started in a similar way. I found a panty girdle of my mum's in the laundry basket and for some reason, I felt the compulsion to try it on. I had my first erection - I think I was 12 years old. It felt amazing and kind of tingly. I found if I rubbed the outside front, it kept feeling better and better and before I knew what had happened, I had the most intense moment of bliss I had ever experienced in my young life so far. From that moment on, I was hooked. Nowadays I am much older and more mature and the sexual aspect is still there, but the wonderful feelings of femininity and relaxation are even better than those initial exciting times.
Sherry, I hope you don't mind a long reply. At least I hope I'm not unpardonably boring anyone with my thoughts.
In some ways I'm like you in being attracted to "the whole package" of women's clothing. And for me it all started, not with panties, but with a skirt. Actually I did try on my mother's nightie one time when I was probably less than five years old, but I don't count that because lots of kids "experiment" with clothing, and it was a one-time incident, not a compulsion that continued in childhood. Not until my teens, that is.
I'd like to make a general comment about "fetishism." I'd say there's a distinction between a "pure fetishist" and a "fetish dresser," even if sexual arousal is a motivation for both. I hear there are fetishists who are turned on by all kinds of objects and scenarios, some of them strange indeed, but with women's clothing naturally forming a large number of these fetish objects.
Yet "pure fetishists" don't necessarily wear the items that arouse them. Or if they do, they do it only to enjoy tactile contact with their fetish; like garments of fur, leather, or rubber, say. Some fetish objects indeed are unwearable! (I once read of a guy with an erotic fetish for ballpoint pens, would you believe? Why ballpoint pens? Beats me!)
Anyway when it's items of women's wear, there are fetishists out there who are especially into things like shoes, women's gloves (more in the past I guess; how many women routinely wear gloves today?), but some of these guys don't actually wear the items--often because they're too small to fit! Even when it's panties, I've heard of guys who just sit there and fondle the items that arouse them.
So when it comes to "dressing," I think there's an additional significance to the act of "dressing" in itself; to being a "fetish dresser," even if it's still mostly sexual in nature. Arousal doesn't necessarily spring purely from the fetish object per se, but also from the fantasy of actually being a woman.
"Fetish dressing" to me is a "crossover" activity. Not "cross" in the hallowed sense of "cross"-dressing, but in the sense of a "crossover SUV," say" forming a bridge or hybrid between one kind of thing and another. On the one hand we have the "pure fetishist," who may have no desire to identify with the opposite sex. On the other hand we have T-people who dress in the clothes of the opposite sex, not for fetishistic purposes--they're not sexually aroused by the clothing--but only because it feels proper to their gender identity. Somewhere in between, we have the "fetish dresser," who is likely to fetishize and be aroused by some aspect of identification with womanhood more broadly than the "ordinary" fetishist, who is more focused on a single object.
And it goes without saying that this can also "shade over" into a desire to identify with the opposite sex in non-erotic ways. Though it may never erupt into a strong desire to "transition," it's no surprise to hear from members here who started off dressing for erotic purposes and later came to enjoy it for other reasons. That's true of me too. Often I just "feel good" wearing a skirt. And while I'm fortunately comfortable with being masculine (unlike some who struggle with it), I know I have a "feminine side" as well.
My point in mentioning all this is that what I personally label the "fetish dresser" is likely on that account to be attracted, not just to a single item, like panties, say, but ultimately like yourself--and like me--to "the whole package," because it's all wrapped up together in this erotic fantasy of "being a woman."
Now that doesn't mean we don't have specific "favorites" among our fetishes--like those here who are "into" women's shoes, say--in more senses than one! But often these specific fetishes form a "lead-in" that attracts the "fetish dresser" to the larger and more complete package pf women's clothing and accessories.
That's what happened to me, and it happened rather fast. What first got me into dressing was seeing my mother's skirt lying around one evening when I was twelve or possibly thirteen. It was a pretty, flowing light summer skirt with a blue floral pattern. I had an overwhelming urge to take off my pants, put her skirt on and zip it up around me. My parents were out on an errand, and I wasn't sure when they'd be coming back, so this was a scary, daring thing to do at that moment. Yet I couldn't resist it! After putting on my mother's skirt, "I did what little had to be done" (to borrow a delightfully euphemistic phrase from Agatha Christie's celebrated Roger Ackroyd) and fortunately managed to finish in time to avoid getting literally "caught with my pants down"--and a skirt on!
Now here's an interesting thing in my mind. All I can recall to memory was that the next thing after that, when I was around thirteen, I was into dressing fully in my mother's clothes when opportunities arose. (I was an only child, so she was my only source of women's clothing at the time.) What seems odd to me is that I can't remember any progression from wearing her skirt that first time to wearing "the whole package." I mean, there must have been an intermediate period when I was experimenting, exploring, putting on certain items of women's clothes for the first time. There must have been a "first time" I slipped into a bra and hooked it up around me, then put on a blouse, or slid into my mother's panties. There must have been a "first time" I pulled on a girdle (way back when women customarily wore girdles), and found out how to roll a pair of nylons up my legs to attach them to the garters. Thrilling as it must have been back then, for some reason I just don't remember all those details. In my mind it's as if I jumped instantly from putting on a skirt to putting on everything! Though I do remember my mother had a nice blue sheath dress that I enjoyed getting into, zipping it all the way up my back and feeling deliciously "closed in" by the dress. But I was certainly into "the whole package," and felt disappointed, incomplete, if I couldn't find some item--like nylons, say--that I "needed" to wear.
Although this was undoubtedly "fetish dressing," motivated by sexual arousal, it was to a large extent the notion of "being a woman, dressed as a woman" as a whole that was the source of this arousal. The skirt, a visibly outward symbol of femininity, merely acted as a "trigger" to prompt exploration of the whole.
Having said that, I have to admit some items are indeed "special" fetishes for me. To paraphrase Orwell in Animal Farm, for me "all fetishes are equal--but some are more equal than others!" At any rate I have a kind of "hierarchy" of fetishes. And in spite of being first seduced by my mother's skirt, I have to confess that as for many others, it's panties that edge out every other contender for the top of my list. I know you didn't want to talk about panties, but they're unavoidably erotic for reasons so obvious they don't need stating. When I dressed in my mother's clothes, I'd finish by pulling her deliciously cool, silky panties up under my skirt or dress: "saving the best until last," as it were.
However, it's not all about panties; not by any means! I especially love skirts, blouses, dresses, bras and slips. I sense there's a kind of "core fetish" here: that I'm focused on "basic" items that an ordinary woman might wear on her body, and panties just happen to be at the center of it.
Like many others here, I love what's delicate and feminine--a lacy slip, a frilly blouse, and silky smooth things especially, like a woman's skin: a silk blouse, a slip, and panties too of course. Yet that's not all. Again like many others here, I got turned on by wearing anything I found attractive when I saw another girl or woman wearing it. ("I've just got to get a dress, or a bra, or whatever, exactly like that!") Being an older guy myself, it took me a while to get really used to women in pants; but once I did, they became "sexy" to me too.
And things are "sexy" in different ways. I don't have to wear nylons today to "complete" an outfit--so many women don't!--but I have to admit that stroking my legs through nylons is a uniquely delectable sensation! (No wonder a woman gets turned on when the right man--not some creep--strokes her legs through nylons!) Further downrange in this hierarchy, what about shoes and things? Yes, they're nice too--though while I have a collection of them, I'm not intensely "into" shoes the way the "truly dedicated shoe fetishist" is. And even something like a purse is nice. It's not "erotic" the way panties are, but carrying a cute woman's purse brings a pleasantly warm feeling that affirms my feminine identity as Marianne.
Still, we're all different here, unique individuals. I know I'm not the same as you, Sherry. For one thing I'm not into anything exotic, outrageous, "over the top" as you put it. What attracted me was always the "ordinary" women and girls I saw around me, the ones I fell in love with--and the clothes they wore.
And something else. If what excites us as "fetish dressers" is the image of being a woman, what is it about that image that's so exciting? It doesn't have to be the same thing for everyone.
As you said, "seeing myself as a female in my mirror sometimes excites me. Actually, it nearly always excites me." OK, that's one reason. They tell me there's a theory about what's labeled "autogynephilia," proposing that "straight" (gynephilic) crossdressers are aroused by the image of themselves as women. That sounds like what you're describing, and it may be true for some. Who am I to say? Sure, I like the image of myself as a woman too. But it doesn't have to be the whole story, though some people will insist on propounding some reach-me-down theory that's supposed to apply to everyone, when it probably doesn't.
With me for instance, what I find especially exciting about the notion of being a woman is having sex in a "feminine role"--even though from the beginning that meant playing a "lesbian" role to a female lover. That was my "fetish" from my earliest teenage years of crossdressing. Skirt and blouse, bra and panties formed the necessary costume to facilitate this fantasy. So there ought to be a long jawbreaker term for that idea too!
All the best, Sherry!
I started before I knew about sex and continued throughout my life. I wanted to wear the clothes and look pretty, but I was never interested being with a guy. When I was young I did pass and enjoyed it. Over the years I changed as did the women my age. Today I prefer women's clothes and wear them full time. I wear nice clothes and and expected underwear. Friends assume it. I have nylons, but don't wear them. Heals hurt my feet but I do wear booties. I don't get excited putting on a night gown. I guess I've grown old with my wife and friends my age.
I didn't find anything u wrote boring, Marianne! And, what I didn't relate to, I appreciated by the way u described your experiences.
And, I believe I fit the AGP profile quite well.
I especially like your description of being turned on seeing yourself, or imagining yourself, as a female!
For me, the difference is looking a mirror and seeing a boring, old, man in a dress who turns me off!
Or, putting on a mask and seeing an exciting, young, woman there instead!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I am very much like you Docrobby. When I first discovered the joys of CDing the sexual excitement was overwhelming. Although these days,30 years later, the intensity is not as great of course, the experience of fully transforming myself into a woman is still highly arousing. There are not single items that I have fetishes for, it is the whole look and feel of femininity. I look in the mirror and see an attractive, sexy woman and my hormones go wild. It's what makes me adore crossdressing now as much as I ever have. I also love the sensual relaxed sensation of being a woman just as CDers who don't have fetishes do but I am so grateful that I have the bonus of the excitement as well
Tracey
Count me in, Sherry. I love to get all dressed up with wig, dress, heels, and makeup. It really gets my motor running. Mainly in my younger and middle years. Even thinking about being forced to wear women's clothes was a big turn-on.
I began my curiosity into thing feminine before I was 10 as well. My first curiosity adventure was my aunts longline bra. Soo many hooks luckily front closing oh what fun it was and from there I was literally hooked. From there it?s into moms slips and other things then puberty hit and the whole thing definitely became a more exciting experience for sure. I?ve covered the gamut of all things lingerie, stockings, pantyhose, corsets and then the dresses and skits and blouses to really go full effect. I love to workout in nice sports bras and attire and all the way it?s always been about the female form for me especially boobs. What began as socks became water filled baggies then foam cotton forms and later many various sizes of high quality silicone for,a that I still enjoy to this day 40 plus years on. The excitement factor is still there as I?ve found my time to dress relax and release. It?s a feeling I?ll always enjoy and covet especially now days since my opportunity to dress has been reduced due to work and family circumstances. Have fun, live life and enjoy is what I say.
I enjoy looking at women's clothing and wondering what I would look like wearing it. Love a pair of 4 inch pumps with stockings. It gets me excited, but I don't think it is a fetish. It is me being who I am. When dressed I do get excited by the woman I am, but that diminishes shortly. Dressed I also get excited by men. It is like I am 2 people a male and female, separate ,but the same . .
I would and still get excited to get dressed up. For me the fetish part was when i would get everything wet in the shower. It started with getting some of my sisters old clothing dirty(from dirt that is) and took it into the tub to wash it out while having a bath. So for the fun of it I put them on and ended up getting very turned on by it. To this day i enjoy putting feminine outfits on and soaking in the tub. Nothing new or anything that can get wreaked just older clothing I don't wear much anymore. I especially love the feeling of wet nylon.
I loved cleaning pantyhose by wearing in shower. Now that wife washes them I haven't thought about that in a long time. Now I know what I am doing soon
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Started off with underwear, however the years it involved any kind of clothing or accessory that I believed made me more feminine. I absolutely have always found it arousing and used to really enjoy being with men when dressed. Also in the past had one particularly supportive gf who liked me to dress up. That was fun too.
Today, as I am married and faithful, my dressing has changed. Still, I do have the memories.
A couple of times my wife has suggested I put on a dress. However, I feel gross as I am in terrible shape at the moment and what I would see in the mirror is not what I looked like a decade ago lol.
Just another man in a dress
I don't think of my CDing as a fetish. It's an attempt to understand women better. Walking a mile in their shoes, so to speak.
I'm a man. I like being a man. I also love wearing women's clothing. It's my way to show honor, respect and solidarity with them.
Vicki you are so right.
Leslie Mary Shy
Remember this:
You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
_________________________
I don'r think of my dressing up as being a fetish thing except when I get the urge to wear certain outfits. If i'm at an airport and see cabin crew in their smart uniforms with tight skirts, pantyhose and heels, the pink mist appears and all that I can think about is dressing up like that. I've dressed up like that for halloween twice. Once in Pan Am and once in British airways. Both times girls have remarked to me that they didnt think that my outfits were halloween outfits because the 'details' were too much. Nails, jewellry, perfume, lashes.