Dressing Putting My Life On Hold

[Vicky_Scot]

I have dressed for over 40 years, my loving wife accepts me for me and can dress at home when ever I want which is nearly daily.
I only wear male attire when really necessary, when family come over or have to go out.

Problem is dressing has become more important than going out or doing things needing done. I have reached a point in my life where
dressing is my priority and think I really have the need to dress outside as well as in. Only two people know I dress at the moment, my wife
and a close family friend.

Anyone else feel or have felt this way? X

[Cheryl T]

Yes, yes, yes, but when I did my wife didn't know yet.
I would steal every free moment to dress and not do things with my wife. Eventually it got to me and I told her.
I was lucky and she was willing to talk and learn and now is fully accepting and understanding.

I felt I had to go out as well and I was able to find a local crossdresser group. We attended a meeting, found wonderful people both other dressers and their wives and it opened an entire new world to me. Once we began going out with some of the group we began going ourselves. Now we go everywhere together and have even spent a "girls only" vacation. We took a week and traveled and it was wonderful.
I no longer have that "urge" to go out because I do go out. Now I dress daily and when I have something to do I just change and get it done. If we are going out somewhere that I can't dress, like family or friends that are unaware, I simply change and we go. That feeling is gone and I can get things done as need be.
See if there is a group near you and begin slowly.

[Vicky_Scot]

Ty for your reply Cheryl, much appreciated X

[Shirley Anne]

It hasn't taken over my life to the detriment of everything else but I would certainly like to be able to get out more.

[susan54]

I like to spend as much time as possible in a dress, but I have a strict rule that it is not allowed to interfere with real life. That way it cannot be regarded as a problem. I have to put clothes on when I get out of bed and I prefer to wear a dress so I do. Once you have your clothes on you can get on with your day. I spend a lot of my time reading or at the computer or on the phone to my friends so what I wear is irrelevant. So it is a big feature of my life without much disruption of it. I would be a lot better off if I had not bought so many clothes but because I can afford them they are not a problem.

[Teresa]

vicky,
I feel you sum it up by saying how few people know . I appreciate it's not easy but letting the net grow I found was the only way to achieve a balance , now it really doesn't matter as everyone knows and I'm totally comfortable with it . Most things can be accomplished once you can accept it , I kept making excuses that certain things especially dirty, dusty jobs could only be done in male mode . The easiest solution was to buy womens overalls ( Dickies ) and workboots and just get on with it , I look back and wonder why I kept making excuses OK it does have it's humourous moments , when I had to strim my long grass down after my garden was flooded I was covered from head to toe in grass cuttings when my neighbour called me over , we both burst out laughing !

Dressing can take over , I do understand that , the solution is integrate it into your life and stop seeing it as a problem , OK it's easier for me because I now live alone and it's only recently my wife dropped into see me for the first time with the marriage certificate for me to proceed with the divorce , she was OK and stayed for a coffee while we checked out the divorce papers .

[NancySue]

Yes! Only my wife knows. Being sequestered, I dress daily. The urge to go out is sometimes intense. When we?re able to go out, I?m sure I?ll have some withdrawal symptoms. A day at a time.

[Asew]

I felt this at times initially. My wife was ok with me dressing at home so there was maybe a couple months where I avoid doing non-essential things that would require me changing. I still think the changing is stupid but I would rather change then stay home and sink into depression.

[Tracy Irving]

A few years ago I found myself adjusting my life and work schedule to accommodate my crossdressing. It didn't take long to realize that crossdressing was only one of the things I chose to do, not everything. Proper balance is key.

[Sallee]

I agree with most folks here "don't let crossdressing interfere with life". but as I read the comments it seems like CDing does. I don't dress, a lot once or twice a month now I also realize that cding is addictive maybe not physically but certainly mentally. There have been times where I would dress for a week or more straight and I found that it was interfering with life. I would exercise less, I would mess around on my PC more. I wouldn't do things if I couldn't be pretty. I would go on hikes but found I would enjoy hiking equally has much in either mode, but with less angst in boy mode. In girl mode I would try to act more fem in walking and just standing around, why not act like me. After a couple of walks I kind of found it to be a distraction of the hike. I also found that after a week or less of dressing I would grow tried of it or probably more important the thrill would be gone. I realized the mall was fun, the fashion and shops and looking at my reflection in windows, etc was fun, but after that life was the same. I realized that I could be myself as a guy and not worry about it.
I guess that makes me a transvestite/crossdresser and not a transexual. Accept what/who you are have fun when crossdressing and keep everything in perspective. At least that works for me

[kimdl93]

I will give my usual conflicted response. When I retired nearly a year ago, I was already re-emerging from a self imposed abstention from dressing that lasted the better part of two years. Unlike a decade earlier, when I began living almost full time en femme, this time I was more cautious about coming out and being out. I thought I?d exercise more freedom in retirement, but the same hesitance and caution prevailed. I do live my every day life en femme, prior to the stay-home order I often did go out, frequented stores and restaurants but I am still living two lives. There are times when I just do not want to deal with public presentation or being the token transgender person in a group.