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Thread: Transvestic Fetishism, how does it end?

  1. #26
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    That sounds like my story.
    I find it strange now in my 60s and dressing doesn't arouse me anymore but the desire to dress is quite strong.

    I was thinking that the desire and effort I put into (dressing up as fem as possible) may be due to trying to get aroused like I did years ago!

    Like trying to recapture my youth!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  2. #27
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    Is Fetish dressing then, in a sense, an addictive behavior, like gambling? Seems like it could be.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  3. #28
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Judy, I was thinking something along the same line. Anyone who has struggled with addiction of any kind will find that over time it requires more and more of the stimulus to get the same "high" and at some point it just quits working. When it quits working, the addict doesn't stop, instead they double, triple, quadruple their efforts in a futile attempt to recapture the old magic until they hit bottom. Then, after a break, the cycle begins again. Wash, rinse, repeat. This fits with a lot of what I have observed over the many years I've been on CD forums. While CDing is still centered around sexual activity it is possible for temporary release from the craving. Once that quits working you're trapped in a vicious cycle. Or something like that.


    I started CDing in my sister's clothes when I was very young. It was just a fun thing to do. The adults around me let it be known that, as a boy, I was a huge disappointment. I was extremely shy, not very adventurous (timid actually), not athletic, very sensitive. I thought it would be much better if I were a girl since those were somewhat more desirable qualities for girls. Nobody, that I could see, criticized girls for being shy and sensitive. So my escape from a dreary life as a failed male was to pretend I was a girl. It wasn't really the clothes that did it for me. They were just symbols. It was the idea of being a girl that fired my imagination. Looking back, the first time I remember an erotic connection was one day I was watching the Micky Mouse Club and Annette Funicello, who I had a huge crush on, was doing some ballet moves and I couldn't tell whether I was more attracted to her or to the idea of being like her. It was the same feeling. I didn't understand it at the time but that's pretty much textbook autogynephilia (AGP). Later, when I was going through puberty I stumbled upon one of those plain brown wrapper porn novels mixed in with a bunch of old books. This one happened to be about the escapades of a bunch of jocks and their effeminate gay crossdressing "girlfriends." I was horrified to discover that nothing had ever turned me on more than the idea of dressing up like a girl letting masculine men use me sexually. The confusing part was that I wasn't attracted to men in real life. The men in my fantasies were faceless abstractions. On the other hand my fantasies about women were always about actual women I was attracted to, although I was only attracted to them as tops and myself as a bottom. That has more or less worked out for me over my life because I have always actively sought out women who are comfortable with that kind of role reversal in the bedroom. CDing has always been secondary, neither necessary nor sufficient - just a means for symbolic emasculation. My desire to CD ebbs and flows but AGP is always there.

    Dr. Blanchard speculated that there were at least for types of AGP: Tranvestic (crossdressing), Behavioral (adopting "feminine" roles and mannerisms), Physiological (arousal by the idea of being, for example, pregnant, etc.) and Anotomical (arousal by the idea of having a female body in part or whole). Most AGPs are a mixture of types. My AGP is mainly the behavioral type, followed by transvestic, with anatomical AGP a distant third. Physiological AGP has no appeal for me. I believe the reason I CD less as my libido declines with age is that the clothes were never the primary trigger for my AGP.

  4. #29
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gillian Gigs View Post
    Quote; "No specific cause has been determined for transvestic disorder. It has been observed that in childhood, cross-dressing causes excitement which may, after puberty, become sexual excitement. As the person gets older and the behavior is repeated and reinforced, the desire to cross-dress may become stronger even as sexual gratification diminishes."
    I fully agree with this quote, but not the term "disorder" (more below). I cut and pasted your quote from the article you read, googled it to see it in context, and found it in this article from Psychology Today:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/c...estic-disorder


    I object to the term "disorder". It's only a disorder if it causes negative consequences to the crossdresser due to internal conflicts. If a crossdresser is in relationship and his wife goes along with it, it's fine. But, if a crossdresser is in this same loving relationship and his wife does not go along with it to the extent that he wants her to, the crossdresser will experience conflict over wanting to stay in the relationship and wanting what he wants, which is not an enviable position to be in. Even if he divorces his wife, he may find it difficult to find someone else who will go along with the full extent that he wants to dress (for example if he wants to dress a very large portion of the time), which will be problematic if he also is the type of person who wants to be in a relationship with someone. This is major internal conflict that can bring about major stress and unhappiness.

    And like you, I think it is a shame to have a negative connotation to the term "fetish". There is nothing wrong with fetishes, they are merely various forms of sexual preferences, and there is a very wide spectrum of sexual preferences among people, based on how and with what they associated sexuality as they were forming their sexuality. But, fetishes can also bring internal conflicts which are harmful to the fetishist, if for example, they cause sexual incompatibility (and the resulting conflict) in an otherwise loving and committed relationship. But, if both partners are into the same fetish, then it's great, they're both happy!

    Often it's a question of scale. Some people can keep things in balance, and others cannot. This applies to everything: eating and over-eating, drinking and over-drinking, having fun at a casino and over-gambling, etc. In other words, some people have an addictive personality and they just can't make the crossdressing work in a manner that is compatible with the other parts of their lives. Over time, people with addictive personalities seem to want more and more of what they cannot control, or in other words, it takes more and more of it to satisfy them.

    Now to your question: everything we do in life, EVERYTHING, causes constant wiring and rewiring of the synapses in our brains to become the people that we are. Everything we have experienced becomes a part of our current identity. Success changes people. Grief changes people. Trauma changes people. Love changes people. And so on. And so does intense, early sexual experiences with the crossdressing. After some years it becomes a habit and then a dependence even if the sexual aspect is no longer as important. But in my view, it is not a disorder unless it causes internal conflict in the crossdresser's life.

    EDIT
    Forgot to mention that some crossdressers resolve their conflicting goals of wanting to be in a relationships and dressing to the degree they want, by deciding to live alone and prioritize the dressing. If this works for them and they are happy or do not fall into a depression, then it is not a disorder. The disorder would be in the resulting depression and/or eventual isolation. Living like this does not provide a good quality of life, even if there is no impediment to the crossdressing.
    Last edited by ReineD; 04-16-2020 at 04:35 PM. Reason: see edit at bottom of post
    Reine

  5. #30
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Wow, Reine! U covered the bases so well I forgot what I was going to post!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    It all started in my teens with magazines and how beautifull women dressed. The first items I bought was undergarments. Garter belt with stocking. it was a trill and wanted more and added a bra and panties. this was the trigger that lasted for my younger years.

    After married was hiding it for a while, but the urge got me in telling my partner and was a good thing cause she agreed .That when I decided to upgrade with Tops, skirts and shoes to match. We shopped together and it was my dream and delight.

    I never taught it was wrong or I had a disorder. It was me and my personality . I am glad to have a feminine side and able to be living it.
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.

    Rayleen

  7. #32
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Well put Renie.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

    Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!

  8. #33
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I appreciate it when Reine chimes in. Good explanation of transvestic disorder.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Great explanation Reine D, thanks
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.

    Rayleen

  10. #35
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Thank you to those who said thank you.

    Just want to say I edited my post to mention something I had forgotten.
    Reine

  11. #36
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Strangely, Reine, altho I'm basically still a closet dresser to anyone who knows me, except for immediate family?

    I HAD very full and busy social life based on my dressing before Covid! Most of my "friends" r either CD's, trans, or their friends. And, they all have met Sherry!

    Before I began dressing, my social life was dead! I am 77 after all. So, most friends my age r pretty boring!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  12. #37
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    Gillian,
    I feel it's a bit of a chicken and egg situation which came first ? Our start on this road varies so much to some it was possibly the tactile feeling of clothing , to me the T kicked in early and sort of took control of a young boy not knowing what was going on . No one has mentioned AGP but to some it is more than a possibility through my own research it is more than a transvestic fetish .

    I did feel once the sexual aspect died down my dressing would stop but that just proves we live with layers , I believe it continues because most are born with a female trait which is to do more with a gender question and not a sexual one . I'm about the same age as you and I'm now very happy I've found a comfortable balance , that came from being free to fully come out in the RW , Ok there is still a sexual element but that is still quite normal for most human beings .

  13. #38
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    I began to dress when very young. I was perhaps around six years old or so. I would dress in lingerie a lot and it was always accompanied by intense sexual excitement and arousal. So, the description of feeling excitement that became sexual after puberty did not fit me at all.

    The Psych community just does not have enough data to understand our community with all of its diversity. As a medical doctor once told me "we only see sick people so that colors our view of the population" For the Psych community their studies are of small populations and are not drawn from the community at large so skewed results can be expected.

  14. #39
    Member saraleehanes's Avatar
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    You are lucky with gorgeous legs

  15. #40
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    I think I fit the pattern that you described. At the height of my libido, my dressing resembled that of a drug addict. Panties were nice, panties and a bra were better and the more I could dress the more exciting it became. However, it has since waned considerably. I have not dressed completely now in probably over a year and a few months ago purged my last dress. I still wear parties every now and then - rarely a bra and rhe panties are simply comfortable not really exciting. So, how will it end? Quite probably I will simply purge everything but I m not quite ready for that yet.

  16. #41
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    I don't think I fit the pattern or perhaps I just don't have a TV fetish.

    Whilst there may have been some sexual excitement when younger, when at my sexual peak I wasn't interested at all and really forgot about crossdressing.

    It's only more recently that I'm interested in crossdressing again and whilst I'm no 18 year old (so past my peak) I don't attribute the interest due to diminishing sexual gratification. If anything, gratification has increased over the years as my wife and I have got to know each other and put each other more at ease.

    Any increase in a desire to CD comes from being older and more confident in what I want (and reading sites like this to realise that I'm not the only one).

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