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Thread: Backtracking

  1. #1
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    Backtracking

    I already feel in a small minority here as I do not identify as a woman. Please do not give me stuff about delusion - you don't know me and it is time there was full acknowledgement that not all crossdressers imagine they are women. I only wear a wig or full make up when I go out, and I do that less and less. During lockdown I have been spending almost all my waking hours in a full outfit (dress) with medium heels, bra and forms and jewellery. Today I took the decision to ditch the bra. I have 38B bras and I have never found a bra uncomfortable until today. At first I thought it must be the actual bra I was wearing so I changed it for an old favourite. Slight improvement but still wanted to get rid so here I am - much more comfortable even if it doesn't look so good. I had already taken to wearing less tailored or bodycon dresses so all I have on are panties, opaque tights, full slip with broad shoulder straps, medium heels, bangles, earrings and a necklace. Today's dress from Adini is like a long tunic with full length sleeves and pockets. I will try the bra again tomorrow and see how I get on but I suspect debosoming is the way I am going to roll from now on unless I go out, and that ain't gonna happen any time soon with the police checking on essential travel.

  2. #2
    Silver Member Stephanie Julianna's Avatar
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    Backtracking the other way. Just came back from Florida where I could not wear a bra that gives me support that I find much more comfortable. In Florida I wear nylon swimmer T's that have a busy pattern and bring less attention to my chest. But this year there appeared a sharp stretch line from nipple to nipple which forced me to constantly pull my shirt hem down. The same happened with my cotton T's. At home in CT I can wear my smooth cup bras again under my shirts and this problem is solved. So I love the added support and protection my bras give me.

  3. #3
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susan54 View Post
    I already feel in a small minority here as I do not identify as a woman. Please do not give me stuff about delusion - you don't know me and it is time there was full acknowledgement that not all crossdressers imagine they are women.
    From my experience, folks in this forum are generally accepting of the notion that while we’re all interested in cding, whatever brought us here and how we feel about it can vary from individual to individual. There are legitimate criticisms that can be made, of course, but that one never seemed to be one of them and I’m sorry you feel that way.

    As to your dressing routine, I can see nothing wrong with it, except I love bodycon dresses and wouldn’t mind a few more. I too find I enjoy dressing more as an outdoor activity, unless I’m modeling outfits.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  4. #4
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I'll admit, backtracking IS unusual for CD's, Susan. Most start out with one or two fem items. Then, in a few years we r dressed to the 9's!
    Personally? I dress all the way or not at all!

    As for the "woman inside" bit? When I first arrive here a million years ago? I waited for the "woman inside" me to appear for a year, before I realized I didn't have one!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  5. #5
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susan54 View Post
    I already feel in a small minority here as I do not identify as a woman. Please do not give me stuff about delusion - you don't know me and it is time there was full acknowledgement that not all crossdressers imagine they are women.
    Oh, please. Just stop. Crossdressers, by definition, do not "consider themselves to be women", so how is it that you believe that they fail to acknowledgement this? You don't know them, after all.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly View Post
    Oh, please. Just stop. Crossdressers, by definition, do not "consider themselves to be women", so how is it that you believe that they fail to acknowledgement this? You don't know them, after all.
    You would think so, but I have been mocked and derided on this site for claiming that I do not identify as a woman even when out and about pretending to be one. I am acting, People on here have actually accused me of being deluded. The ONLY place I get mocked is on this site and it would be nice to have a bit more control of these trolls.
    Last edited by char GG; 04-11-2020 at 07:01 PM. Reason: Sending PM

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Susan,
    there is no RIGHT way to do crossdressing.
    We are all minorities; we all crossdress differently. Being different is normal. However, we crossdressers all have the love of women's clothing in common.
    Stay healthy,
    luv J

  8. #8
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I would never mock anyone for their preferences in dressing, gender identification, etc. Much like the general population we all have different needs and desires.

  9. #9
    Member annecwesley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susan54 View Post
    I already feel in a small minority here as I do not identify as a woman. Please do not give me stuff about delusion - you don't know me and it is time there was full acknowledgement that not all crossdressers imagine they are women.
    I know what you are saying.

  10. #10
    Junior Member Dressing up's Avatar
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    "I already feel in a small minority here as I do not identify as a woman. Please do not give me stuff about delusion - you don't know me and it is time there was full acknowledgement that not all crossdressers imagine they are women."

    If you are correct about the ratio of gender identity on this forum, then count me in the minority as well. I am very happy with the "guy" part of my life. I am just trying to find ways to fulfill the need to express my feminine side into a life that I am quite happy with.

  11. #11
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    After about six or seven hours I definitely backtrack by loosening the laces on my tight-laced, steel boned corset. I love the shape and dieting help it provides but after a while I just need to relieve the restriction. I don't know how Victorian women did it all day, everyday. Maybe I just need more practice.

    I don't identify as a woman either, but inexplicably, I feel in the majority here.

  12. #12
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susan54 View Post
    You would think so, but I have been mocked and derided on this site for claiming that I do not identify as a woman even when out and about pretending to be one. I am acting, People on here have actually accused me of being deluded. The ONLY place I get mocked is on this site and it would be nice to have a bit more control of these trolls.
    I am sorry, but I just don't see this. Now, it may be that the derision of which you speak is communicated in private. If so, then I retract my opinion stated above, but as for a crossdressers being some kind of abused minority here, I call B.S. If anything, this community is about the most understanding and supportive of that particular part of the TG spectrum you will find anywhere.

    I challenge anyone to show anything remotely approaching the systematic bullying that is being alleged. Again, the very notion is patently absurd.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  13. #13
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Let?s just agree to disagree.
    Most post things how they see it because of their own experience and should not be taken as that is how everyone is.
    We give opinions according to our own life experience.
    None of it is wrong.
    I tell new GGs do not take everything you read here as that is how your partner is .
    There are 28, 932 members here and everyone is different everyone has their own journey.
    Some it is a hobby, some sexual, some just like the material, some it is just who they are. And on and on and on and on and on.
    I relate to it is s just who you are as that is how my Sherlyn was. So if and when I post it?s from my experience. NOTHING MORE.
    Look at responses like that.
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    Quote Originally Posted by susan54 View Post
    I already feel in a small minority here as I do not identify as a woman. Please do not give me stuff about delusion - you don't know me and it is time there was full acknowledgement that not all crossdressers imagine they are women.
    We are probably not such a minority. But I know exactly what you are talking about the delusional issue. There are some vocal.members who say what we are doing will automatically progress to something much more. It doesn't unless you want it to. But that is the reason I would never tell my wife about this site. She is ok with what I do, but if she read I am delusional about only wanting to do what I do and I will be on HRT and doing srs it wouldn't be go.

    Stay strong and enjoy life how you want to

  15. #15
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Susan, I don't identify as a women. I like to feel feminine, but under it all, I know who I am.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  16. #16
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    If your bra is uncomfortable - it doesn't fit …………………………..Debra

  17. #17
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Somewhat like Jamie, I don't identify as a woman, but I do identify as a femme. Ultimately we are all different. Categories can be used as tools for convenience sake, but trying to make ourselves or others fit the category is unproductive.

    As for bras, which I wear most every day, I find them more psychologically comforting than physically comfortable.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  18. #18
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    My thing is stockings and heels. Oh, and dressing for comfort. So I think it is fine to wear jeans and a T-shirt without a bra.
    I don't think you are backtracking … I think you are enjoying the time and space to find your comfort zone.
    De-bosoming is the way to go! You have my full support (pun intended!).

  19. #19
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    The bra is one that was fitted professionally and even the second bra I tried yesterday had always been comfortable in the past. I have worn a bra today and while it is more comfortable than yesterday I am about to have a shower and will probably go without when I get dressed afterwards.

    The cod psychologists who inflict their gender diagnosis on me on the basis of a few lines of text are a small minority. About a month ago there was a post openly mocking my assertion that I do not identify as a woman and it was removed by the mods. It does happen and it shouldn't. I would not direct a partner to this site as it would add hugely to any concerns she already had and probably make her suspicious that I was lying about retaining a male identity.

    Glad to hear there are more of us male-identifying crossdressers but I still feel in a small minority. I am not sure I will continue on this site. I am also a member of a few style sites where all the other members are GGs. They know I am male and I feel more welcome there than I do here and their discussions relate more to my clothing preferences than anything here. The gender stuff on CD.com is a legitimate conversation topic, but really I just aspire to dressing as skilfully as possible. Having a bosom that is the right proportion and shape makes dresses and tops look much better, and give me a figure that looks good, and I have been told I have great legs. It is more a question of being aesthetically pleasing than gender ID - I don't pass and I am relaxed about this. I really don't care if people realise I am male as long as they think I am well-dressed (and they usually do). I have several times posted about going to a stylist and I can't recall anyone else saying they had done this. I am surprised as I would have thought more CDs would be as interested as I am in style but each, as they say, to their own. I know other men have done it as the stylists have told me, but the numbers are very small.

  20. #20
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    To each, his own, Susan. We are not here to judge one another, but to support one another.
    It's important to realise that most members of this forum feel as I do, and not to let a very small number of, shall we charitably say, less well-intentioned individuals upset you.
    I hope that you will stick around. You have a lot to contribute, whether or not you realise it.
    Do whatever you feel you must do, though.

  21. #21
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by susan54 View Post
    You would think so, but I have been mocked and derided on this site for claiming that I do not identify as a woman even when out and about pretending to be one. I am acting, People on here have actually accused me of being deluded. The ONLY place I get mocked is on this site and it would be nice to have a bit more control of these trolls.
    Sorry to hear that. I could care less where anyone was in their stage or level of dressing. If you want to be the man in a dress, or try to make some atenpt to pass, I don't care, it is you life to choose where you are.

  22. #22
    Member Shirley Anne's Avatar
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    Hi Susan
    like yourself I dress fully with wigs make up the works and try to look as feminine as possible but at no time do I identify as a woman, I have no doubts of who I am and enjoy my male side as much as my female side. There are a few here who seem to push the agenda that we should all transition to be truly happy and for that reason I dont really post very much here as I have no intent of getting into arguments with people who dont know me or anything about me.

    I dont go out locally in broad daylight as you do as Im far to well known locally and if it became local knowledge I fear it would impact far too much on my normal daily life and that of my wife. I only go out locally under cover of darkness.

    As for your question of stylists my wife is my fashion advisor and will soon tell me if things dont match or dont suit me.

    As Im sure you are aware there a few other trans sites but there is an element on most of them that push transition as the thing to aim for, maybe its just us Northern girls who are happy as we are.

  23. #23
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    I don't identify as a woman, and I can guarantee that my CDing is not going to progress onto other things. It hasn't in the 50 years I've been CDing, so I can't see it happening any time soon.

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