Touche, Jacques. Beat me to it. I'll spare y'all my rant on infection control procedures, and just say that doing it right requires training, practice and discipline.Originally Posted by jacques
If they were my neighbors, I'd be giving them something else to talk about.
Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".
Stop pussyfooting around! U r placating and encouraging them! I don't know the rules in the the UK. But, in the USA, these creatures r:
Entering your private property without permission. (In the US, that includes mail boxes. Which r for US Post Office use only.)
They disturbing your rite to peace and quiet.
Invading your privacy.
And, probably a number of local rules and laws.
At the very least? U need to tell them u don't appreciate their attitude and don't want to be disturbed AGAIN! Write a note and stuff it in their front door.
See how they like it!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Yes, sadly we have not one, but two of these in our street. One is opposite us and is always gorming in our windows while "pretending" to do gardening.
The other lives next door. She is approx 5' tall, but it is amazing how often her face is poking over our solid fence, which is about 6'9", when i am in our garden. For this reason we call her the chad.
I have recently discussed with my wife about the idea of me going out dressed (more about that in another thread coz i don't wanna go) and she said she doesn't care what the neighbours think, if they are nasty she will tell them to get lost.
"The only way is onward. There is no turning back."
Query: Who died and left them in charge?
I would send them a letter addressed to each by name, with delivery acceptance signature required, stating that this letter constitutes legal notice to each of them that you do not want them entering your property for any reason, or placing non-mailed notes, packages, letters, etc. in or around your mailbox or front door or porch, and that you will consider any such acts in the future to be trespassing on your property. State that you reserve the right to institute legal action against them for any violation.
Put a note on your door stating that “Trespassers Will Be Violated.” (sic)
Good luck.
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Be all the woman that you can be!
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. . . and now, On With The Show!
It sounds like you are in the UK, as I am. Villages (I live in a village) can by difficult places because people can think they have the right to be involved in other peoples business where city's can be anonymous places. I think it might help to ask why this person is acting in such an unacceptable way. I think one explanation could be fear, which they are trying to cope with by being controlling. Another could be mental illness. Another could be that they are feeling out of control in other parts of their life and compensating by trying to be controlling of others. Pity them - their life is much smaller than yours.
Isn't there a delicious irony in a bunch of cross dressers, so many of whom would love the world to be more tolerant of their own particular "peccadillo", not being able to find it within themselves to be tolerant of what is, let's face it, a harmless busybody? Clearly this old dear has so little meaningful in her life that she has to busy herself in other people's. Maybe she has no children. Personally, I'd probably be super nice to her.
Maybe, MiniRock, but I for one do not appreciate others telling me how to live my life when I am doing no harm.
Yahh its happened sometimes because its quarantine time and everyone is getting bored nowadays so this strange things also happened.
Hi Ann, in my opinion you let this go to far when you answered the question about who your visitor was, they should have been told then to mind their own business.
I would be confronting them face to face and putting a stop to it once and for all.
A wise man told me long ago, ?If you like your privacy, avoid living in a cul-de-sac. Sure, you have no one driving by at three times the speed limit, but you get a host of neighbors, not just one or two. The risk of getting a bad one is too great for me.? That is no longer an option for you, sadly. What to do? Easiest option is to ignore them. It takes a some discipline but it is worth it. Nothing irritates a busybody more than being openly ignored. On the other extreme, I am a cross-grained fellow with a warped sense of humor. I would start mocking them. I would do outrageously silly stuff just to ridicule their reaction. Find out what really gets their goat and practice a humorous version of it. Get the rest of the neighbors to play along. Before you do this, be sure they are not into violence, of course.
Why not give them something to see and have fun with it at the same time? Play some dance music and you and the wife have a 2 person dance party on your front steps. Move the grill and a couple of chairs out front and have a burger and a beer with your wife. If the other neighbors are just as annoyed, get them to join in in their respective front yards. Everyone make a sign saying, " Mind your own business!" might get the point across. Cherry on top, suggest a neighborhood distancing costume party. You and your wife can dress as the opposite gender and Ann would be able to attend. Good Luck
That old continental courtesy may work where you are, as you happen to live in a civilized-ish country.
The rest of us, including the OP, might not be so lucky.
When haters hate, I celebrate!
I agree with you MiniRock. We have had our share of busy bodies, and they all fall into the category that you have described. They are really a sad bunch but usually mean well.
Last edited by char GG; 04-16-2020 at 09:14 AM.
Meh, in my experience people who go so far as to leave accusatory notes / messages, or even to summon the police, have crossed a line of propriety. I do not agree that hoping to be tolerated or, in the absence of tolerance, to simply be left alone is inconsistent with taking exception to the conduct of self-appointed neighborhood vigilantes.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
There are so many versions of the " Nosy neighbour " .
My daughter has one , he doesn't live on her road but his side entrance and garage is . He has several vehicles which partially block the entrance to the road , some are permantly covered in canvas sheeting . He told the neighbour next to his garage to weed their garden and when they didn't he stood a bottle of weed killer on their doorstep . The couple next to my daughter fitted a new garge door , he stuck a message on it when it was finished telling them he didn't like the colour they'd chosen . He's a fairly well built guy so not many argue with him , to me he's a bully , if I was his neighbour there would have been words said !! It's quite funny really because he has seen me a couple of times as Teresa and both times he disappeared very quickly , I'm wondering what his problem is ?
How about a sign that says "Good Neighbors Mind Their Own Business, Bad Neighbors Don't".
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
Wow. We have a nosy neighbor who has the same symptoms - boundary issues and bullying. What are the odds, eh?
Our fight-or-flight reaction has been reasonably effective - security camera, no trespassing, a log of activity, reporting bad behavior, and a cease-and-desist letter standing ready. It has certainly achieved the objective of deflecting bad behavior away from us. The path not taken is tend-and-befriend. The yin reaction to our yang reaction. Not second guessing our decision, just mindful that we made a choice to change the behavior rather than the individual. Faster and easier, but less effective.
Besides choosing the appearance as male or female, I am also trying to grow and consider reactions beyond fight-or-flight. For me it is two parts of the same journey.
Simply an avid clothing enthusiast...
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