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Thread: Coming out

  1. #1
    New Member Sarah S's Avatar
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    Coming out

    Hi everyone my wife and I have just started telling friends and family about Sarah
    and so far everyone has been great especially my mother in law who is more like a mum too me.
    I have just got to tell my mum brother and sister sometime this week.
    Sarah.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    I hope it continues to go well for you. One question: Where do you want this go lead?
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member LIKETODRESS2's Avatar
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    Very happy for you. My gf is cool with me dressing not really sure what her fam would say if they ever found out I know my fam would not like it

  4. #4
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    What exactly are you telling them, you like to wear ladies clothes, you are gay, are a transvestite or crossdresser etc?

    I wear ladies clothes, I cross dress, fully dress and if I was to tell people I would say I like to wear ladies clothes.

    Thanks

    Julie

  5. #5
    New Member Sarah S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kimdl93 View Post
    I hope it continues to go well for you. One question: Where do you want this go lead?
    All I want is to not have too hide everything when people come around as when I am not at work I always dress as Sarah.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by baldy1 View Post
    What exactly are you telling them, you like to wear ladies clothes, you are gay, are a transvestite or crossdresser etc?

    I wear ladies clothes, I cross dress, fully dress and if I was to tell people I would say I like to wear ladies clothes.

    Thanks

    Julie
    I am telling them that I am a crossdresser and bisexual as I don't want too hide things anymore.
    Sarah.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    You may lose some friends along the way I did and those friends I still have 4 of them are OK but not totally on board with me. if you are still working (not retired) be prepared for your work collegues to find out eventually. The grapevine is a widespread thing.
    I was fortunate to find so many were very acceptable of me including my neighbours. But be prepared for any fall out from friends that distance themselves from you.
    I wish you well and hope everything works out as you hope it will
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  7. #7
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    I am so happy for you . I came out to my wife and family and all has been good wife still has her man and a girlfriend all in one . Just remember friends will come and go if the old one?s don?t like it the new ones will

  8. #8
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I think Bobbi's talk about the impacts of the reveal are right on. You will find some who are fine with the revealing of a hidden side, but others are going to think you have lost your marbles. Some are so entrenched in traditional thinking about gender that they can't accept it when somebody takes a different road that makes more sense to them and brings them comfort. The reveal will change your life in some ways, but it will make you more comfortable with yourself and your self concept.

    A good rule of thumb initially is to only tell those who have a need to know. Others will find out through that grapevine. Many will accept a grape that is a bit different; others won't and it is those who may give you some trouble about your choices. It is hard to communicate that because they don't feel or experience life the way you do and you don't feel or experience life the way they do. And that makes it hard to talk about no matter which end of the scale you are talking from.

    Before you tell someone about the real you think hard about their attitudes toward gender and their need to know. At first we are so excited to tell the world we wildly tell everybody and then get beat up by some of them. Restrain yourself and think carefully individually about each person. Perhaps telling them later would be better and there might be someone else that is a better prospect that is safer to reveal the truth to now. Be careful to try and develop a coalition of people who accept your reveal before you spread the news wider.

  9. #9
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Congrats and be ready for some to not take it well. Even some that will be all smiles and congratulations when you tell them will find themselves drifting away from you. Coming out isn’t a simple “plus one”, but reordering you’re whole life in a way. Hang in there and congratulations on the big step once again.

  10. #10
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    U an tell when folks REALLY accept u. They'll ask to see photos of Sarah. Or, maybe even want to meet her!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  11. #11
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Sarah, Good luck with your mother and siblings.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  12. #12
    Silver Member
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    When my wife outed me by accident We didn't lose any friends. And I became another member of the women's shopping trips.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah S View Post
    All I want is to not have too hide everything when people come around as when I am not at work I always dress as Sarah.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]



    I am telling them that I am a crossdresser and bisexual as I don't want too hide things anymore.
    Well Done

    Julie

  14. #14
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah S View Post
    Hi everyone my wife and I have just started telling friends and family about Sarah
    and so far everyone has been great especially my mother in law who is more like a mum too me.
    I have just got to tell my mum brother and sister sometime this week.
    Sarah, can I ask if you don't that order friends, then family, then mom, brother and sister?
    Since when do you know you're bisexual, how did your wife get that? Are you planning to have or already have a public boyfriend?

    Devi
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
    Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
    Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
    Breast augmentation surgery 012022
    GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION

  15. #15
    New Member Sarah S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Devi SM View Post
    Sarah, can I ask if you don't that order friends, then family, then mom, brother and sister?
    Since when do you know you're bisexual, how did your wife get that? Are you planning to have or already have a public boyfriend?

    Devi
    We told my mother in law first then our best friend.
    Didn't want to tell my family over the phone but as we can't see them at the moment just had to tell them.
    So finally told them yesterday and the first thing my mum said was was your sister always wanted a sister and that when I was younger she always thought I should have been a girl.
    My wife has always known I was bisexual and I have a boyfriend who I see at least once a week
    I just thought with everything that is going on with this virus I needed to tell everyone that I care about.
    I did want to tell them years ago but my wife didn't want people to know but now she said we should have done it years ago.
    Sarah.

  16. #16
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    Sarah,

    I don't know you but I get the sense that you are not a "dip your toe in the water first, then slowly wade in to get used to the water" kind of a gal. Wow, I'm glad you are happy and good luck.

    Robin
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

  17. #17
    New Member Sarah S's Avatar
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    I just think if you are going to do something then just do it.
    If someone doesn't like it then that is up to them.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Rhonda Jean's Avatar
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    These stories always amaze me. I wish you well, but I think you'll find that most of the people you come out to will say, "Wow, that's great!" and you'll never hear from them again.

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