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Thread: Opened up to my girlfriend

  1. #1
    Member cdkateinboston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012

    Opened up to my girlfriend

    So I have been with my girlfriend for a little over a year and she happens to be trans. I have mentioned in the past that I like girly things, but not all the time and after a lot of soul searching in my teens and early 20's, I know that I do not want to transition. She has been wonderfully accepting and took me makeup shopping one time and we did makeup together.

    Well, yesterday I finally broke down and told her that there were times when I still wanted to fully dress up, and times when I just want to wear a cute pair of heels and panties. Knowing that she was a very accepting person didn't make telling her any easier. But she was awesome about it and said that she would love for me to express that side when I wanted to. What was difficult for me in telling her was that I've spent my whole life thinking that my enjoyment of girly things, while not defining me, was this freakish, disgusting thing (one of my exes had caught my crossdressing and stated that if we were going to continue dating I needed to go see a therapist to "fix" that - we broke up at two years dating as a result).

    Anyways, does anyone else have a story where they went in to tell a partner and feared for the worst, and wound up with something unexpected?

  2. #2
    Member Lea's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    South east
    I told my wife about my crossdressing in the fall prior to us getting married the next spring. I did not want to marry her hidding anything from her. This was sevarel decades ago. Except for hearing things on talk shows or gossip she had no knowledge of our community. We had many talks that included me explaining my crossdressing history and what I wanted in my future crossdressing.
    After several talks she asked to see what clothing I had. I think she was relieved to see that my style was main line. Skirts and dresses around knee length, high heels around three inches in other words everyday clothing. When she was ready she wanted to see me dressed. We set a time up for her to meet my better half. I told her I would shave my legs as I wanted to look nice but warned her I had no makeup. She told me not to dress until after she arrived. When she got there she had brought her makeup over. I had my first makeover then I got dressed. The transformation surprised her and she said I looked nice. It was hard on her. Several times she went outside to smoke a cigarette and she did not smoke. We spent that night drinking wine, talking and her smoking.
    We continued with this arrangement with me dressing about once a week in front of her.
    The week before Christmas she told me to shave everywhere and she would do my makeup. She arrived did my makeup and told me to get dressed with dark hose but not put on an outfit. When I came back out in my robe she handed me one of her outfits that I could fit into. She took my picture, with a Polaroid camera. She then told me to hold on and went to her car in the garage. She retuned with packages upon packages. For our first Christmas together she had bought me four or five new outfits. I tried them all for her.
    Then she came close to me and handed me a ring box. She gave me a ring and said that the ring has three intertwined overlays. She said one overlay was her, one my male side and on my female side. All intertwined all as one.
    We recently had a period of time where she did not want me dressing but we worked through that. Part of it was having to keep the house closed up and curtains drawn. She hates having the curtains closed.
    The one big limitation is she does not want me to go outside. However we have gone out for Halloween. Over the years she has bought me make up, clothing, and anything a girl needs. I wanted to try waxing my legs so she jumped in and waxed them for me.
    With the Covid 19 lockdown I have been dressed for the last two weeks twenty four hours a day. The only thing she asks is for me to spend several hours a day in my den. She then opens up all the curtains to let the light in. She does work in the yard, and sits on the back porch to be outside in the sunshine. She is antsy because of being off work.
    I have that first picture she took in a frame on my desk and every time I dress I wear the ring she gave me.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Atlanta, GA
    Glad you had a positive experience. I'm a little confused. Is your girlfriend MTF of FTM trans? Either way, she should understand what you are going through.


  4. #4
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Southern Illinois
    My experience is very much like Lea. I knew I had to tell my wife to be before we walked the aisle. I fretted for weeks, fearing she?d sprint to the nearest exit door when I told her. Fortunately, it went very well. She?d already sensed (ESP) my keen interest in women?s clothes. We talked a lot, and read a lot. She, now, is totally supportive and helpful. The only limitation is going out....small town, nosy neighbors, etc. We sneak out occasionally after dark. I feel very fortunate and blessed.

  5. #5
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    A bit south of the 49th!
    I wish I had such a story.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Brenda Freeman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    I knew I liked to dress at an early age, but it seemed to go away other than admiring what women got to wear. So when I was married I did not think there was a story to tell. well 23 years later the urge to crossdress surfaced and really was impacting me hard. It actually took a while to tie my stress and anxiety to it. Any way I finally told my wife and that was hard and created a lot of silence for sometime. we finally sat down and had a long talk about why, and she really feared more what I would do next not the dressing. After I assured her it is just clothes I am the same person, no plans to leave or tell family or friends, it is just something that makes me happy and I do not know why but it goes way back in time I guess. She finally said if it makes you happy you should do it. Now we were in total agreement who should know, which is no one in our circle, but I am able to go out to Tgirl events and have met a circle of supportive people. It is all about trust and understanding and loving a person enough. It has worked out very well, but even when I finally told her, I just felt the woman I married, my sole mate for life would accept at some level as she is a beautiful person and we have relatives that are part of the LGBT community. I read a lot on here people saying you need to tell before you marry, but there are many like me that at the time there was nothing to tell, It really was a midlife crisis for me at 50 years old 2005, hit me like a brick wall.

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