Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 68

Thread: Questions from our GGs

  1. #26
    Silver Member AmandaM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    2,157
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse?
    N/A
    2) What regrets do you have if any?
    I regret not seriously considering transition at an early age.
    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself?
    Yes, fear is the greatest enemy.
    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance?
    Hopeful wishing?
    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change?
    N/A
    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?
    I would not like it.
    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple?
    No.
    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair?
    No.
    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time?
    Either a fetish component or an attempt to reach the inner female by being as feminine as possible.
    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?
    Same as above. Trying to emotionally connect with the inner female.
    11) What is your definition of Femininity?
    Femininity is a social construct.
    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray)
    No.
    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?
    It would be nice if the current trend of casual clothes was different.
    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image?
    Same as above. Trying to emotionally connect with the inner female.
    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?
    N/A
    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out?
    Best if it is spelled out.
    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?
    N/A
    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?
    One hour. Kids at home.
    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life?
    It doesn't.
    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?
    No strategy. Just see what happens.
    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?
    No. There has to be a real relationship.
    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    Relaxed, peaceful, feeling good.

  2. #27
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    FAB Mods,
    It's always good to fill in the gaps if we can .
    1) I assume this question suggests before marriage but I came out in my forties after twenty years of marriage .
    2) There is never a right time , it still can turn the marriage upside down .
    3) Not so much dishonest as struggling to accept the truth .
    4) The lack of response can be often read as acceptance .
    5) The lack of response can also signal a mutual understanding .
    6) I hope if I faced a role reversal I would attempt find out why rather than go down the DADT road .
    7) Being gay is thankfully not a crime anymore , if there is mutual feelings of love would it really matter ? In the majority of cases those feelings aren't mutual .
    8) I have a thing about facial hair ( personally I hate it ) so I would never have had facial hair in male mode anyway and expect my wife to accept it so in that context I wouldn't be happy .
    9) A very good GG friend who ran a bridal shop suggested Cders revert to girls in puberty , I felt she had a point because many CDers like to feel girly and cute .
    10) Being a woman and femininity don't always go together , CDers tend to place women on that pedestal , going full time meant I had to play it down , it took me a while .
    11) The trap we fall into is assuming perfect makeup and stylish clothes are the hallmarks of feminity , again another lesson I've had to learn , it still feels it even when wearing workclothes .
    12) It was something my age group were more accustomed to , sometimes I feel women today do themselves a disservice but at times going with flow is now the best option .
    13) It's something some of us pass through but now I've found my own identity , I wish to integrate so try and dress approriately I also choose to wear makeup all the time .
    14) I remember when I first got it all together with clothes, makeup and wig , the guy had disappeared , I feel we can become obsessed with that thought or image . That obsession has faded now I'm just very comfortable and content as Teresa .
    15) Validation , I used pictures in the past to come out to people , we all like a genuine " WOW " at times . I don't need to rely on pictures anymore as most people have met me .
    16) Boundaries are tough to live with , most Cders will try to push them they also mean someone is making all the compromises in the relationship , the problem I had was the goal posts moved from day to day , I never knew where I stood .
    17) To most Cders pushing is inevetable , it also depends on the level of dysphoria we do evolve in an attempt to find ourselves and achieve a balance .
    18) I'm TG so I'm now full time , everyone knows that .
    19) My social life is possibly better now because I'm much happier , my family are OK and getting better .
    20) I had ceased to function , I had to run my business , educate the kids and pay the mortgage so it had to happen and then the problems could be dealt with .
    21) I'm not looking for a new relationship at the moment but now I'm full time it's the sensible thing to do , there is no point hiding what I really am .
    22) I keep saying now all the labels are back in their boxes so I'm just being Teresa , there's bound to be a mix of some feminity with a little masculinity but then women also have that mix at times . It's like asking what does masculinity mean , there are aspects I truly hate now so you could say in feeling feminine I don't any part of it , I guess I could say it makes me totally happy .

    I hope my answers prove of some help , and many thanks Di .
    Last edited by Teresa; 04-23-2020 at 01:37 PM.

  3. #28
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In the total animal soup of time
    Posts
    2,145
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse? No, compared to the stuff she already knew about me, CDing was a trivial detail. I never dressed in our marriage until after I told her I wanted to and had her blessing.

    2) What regrets do you have if any? That I fought it for so long.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself? Mistaken, deluded? Yes. Dishonest? No.

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? I couldn't tell you.

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change? Marriage is always a matter of give and take and change is the only constant.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ? Sometimes it is.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple? Cool! Then when we're shopping in the Coachella Valley we would get all the secret discounts and learn the secret handshake.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair? No, and neither does she.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? Because they are iconic.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing? I don't think of what I do as femininity anymore. I think of it as emasculation as that is really what I'm trying to achieve. So, in that sense, OTT "femininity" equals maximum emasculation. If anyone can think of a way to achieve maximum emasculation without resorting to feminine symbolism, I'm open to suggestions.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity? The short answer is I can't define it but I know it when I see it. The boring answer is that femininity and masculinity are the roles assigned to females and males respectively by the sexual division of labor. The material basis for those roles changes over time but culture lags. Nobody signs up for the role that culture assigns to them so there will always be a certain portion of the population that feels a disconnect between the role they are assigned and their own innate characteristics and desires.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) I don't portray women so, no.

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards? No.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image? I don't know.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? I haven't taken a picture of myself in years. When I did, I suppose it was to have a trophy of sorts so I could remember all the work I did to achieve a certain look.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out? My wife is pretty much incapable of holding back whatever it is she is thinking. She has no filter. It hurts sometimes but that's what I like about her. No BS. No guessing games.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much? My motto is that anything worth doing is worth doing to excess. Her lot in life is to reign me in when necessary.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing? Close to zero the last couple of years.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? It doesn't.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it? No, I just told her. It wasn't that big of a deal for either of us.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting? No, it's more important that they accept my banjo playing.

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine. What I used to call "feeling feminine" is just the feeling of emasculation (and liking it.) I realize that women don't feel this way nor can they even understand it. I feel free from the anxiety of "being a man."
    Last edited by LilSissyStevie; 04-23-2020 at 01:39 PM. Reason: fixed quotes

  4. #29
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,017
    1) I do regret telling her, but she learned after 2 years and that was 29 years ago. But falling in love is one of the strongest suppressors of the desire to act on it, so I thought I was cured. Back then I did not have access to groups like this to tell me it was temporary.
    2) Regrets - would have liked to have someone more open minded. I am a good person and what I do does not physically harm anyone nor use up financial resources or excessive time, such as golf or season tickets or boat
    3) I was honest based on what I knew then.
    4) lack of response is not acceptance, but it is not rejection either. Is 0 positive or negative?
    5) For 20 years, it was acceptable at low level of hose and/or shoes at bedtime. I desired a bit more but held off. When kids began leaving home and needing us less, I focused more on my needs. She refused to allow, so went DADT
    6) She tried wearing mustache - it did not bother me as I could see past that to the person
    7) I am not asking to go out in public as a romantic couple. Fine being accepted at home, or if willing, as 2 female friends
    8) She tried - didn't bother me
    9) I did some retro ones - we love femininity and that older looks may fit that more than androgynous ones now
    10) A woman in sweats may be a woman, but femininity in the media we are exposed to shows us those are more admired than without
    11) Each of us may vary of how to express femininity. Some think it lingerie, panties, pregnancy, large breasts. I prefer clothes catalog models as my aim-admired by men and women for looks
    12) I am attracted visually to feminine appearing women, so yes. But romantically it is deeper
    13) She has tried on my clothes and likes most. Some too short for public wear and I agree
    14) Why are women's magazine and men's magazines portraying people obsessed with their looks?
    15) I don't
    16) I would say spell it out. But it changes
    17) We have been hidden so long, that any acceptance can lead to pushing boundaries
    18) 1 hour
    19) I keep it from all but wife. That puts strain on her as rest of family assume I am a perfect husband.
    20) I let her struggle with it. She has never tried to learn about it or talk much about it
    21) Yes-date. But marry is another level
    22) feeling feminine - many senses. Smell of perfume. taste of lipstick. tug of earrings or long hair tickling back. feel of legs in hosiery. Look like a model. Even my wife admits I do

    Hugs, ELlen

  5. #30
    Member Lea's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    South east
    Posts
    359
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse?
    I told my wife before we were married.

    2) What regrets do you have if any?
    That I did not accept myself and listened to society who thought that cross-dressing was wrong.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself?
    Yes in not accepting this part of me at an earlier age. I was not true to who I am.

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance?
    Partially because they are wishing to be accepted. If a spouse does not respond negatively you grab onto that lack of response as a positive.

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change?
    We set boundaries in the beginning and those overall have not changed.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?
    I think I would be ok. I feel that I am open to others and their views.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple?
    I have only gone out dressed on Halloween. It would probably be the same if my wife cross-dressed.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair?
    I do not know. We do not have sex now when I am dressed.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time?
    I dress in conservative current fashion. But some may wish to dress in the era they started dressing. Also with out dressing a lot when we were younger maybe making up for it.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?
    Everyone dresses for different reasons. Maybe the are seeking to be the center of attention.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity?
    I believe it is certain behavior and attributes assigned to women. It may be cultural or biological based. In general I think of women being more nurturing, having empathy, having a deep inner strength and versatility.
    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray)
    Yes

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?
    I want my wife to dress in what she is comfortable with. She likes blue jeans and shorts. I like dresses, hoses and heels.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image?
    I do everything I can to look female when I dress and I want to experience as much as I can that women do. So that means plucking the eyebrows, shaving, forms etc. I feel anything I an do to look more like a lady the better I feel. It is a validation of this part of me.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?
    Partly everyone is posting more pictures because of the ease of posting with social media. Also validation.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out?
    On some issues after you work out the boundaries you can anticipate. Other areas spell it out.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?
    I try not to push any issue very much.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?
    I am retired and usually dress one day a week. In the summer my wife visits her family for three months. I dress every day. Three days a week in the summer I have obligations so I don't change till mid morning. With the Covid lockdown I dress till we need food, which is usually every two weeks.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life?
    I have always been a hermit and we live away far away from family. So very little.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?
    I researched information beforehand. I printed some thing off for to read. We talked aboutit and I encouraged questions.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?
    No but I don't think I could have a long term relationship with a GG who was not accepting. So if they accepted it but we had nothing else in common that is a no go.

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    I feel complete, I feel happy and I feel it allows me to be a better person. I look admire women and to be able to express that part of me is great.

  6. #31
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    2,702
    First off, thanks for asking.



    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse?
    I have told her. What I regret is not knowing myself well enough to tell her fully before we got married. But the again I didn't realize and things have developed over time anyway.

    2) What regrets do you have if any?
    See number 1

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself?
    Yes, but to be fair I was also unaware, there was a lot of societal pressure, and my own experience over the years have informed me.

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance?
    That's a case by case basis. Some do actually believe that some are just wishing or playing a game. But some may be reading that correctly. Could a wife's silence be tacit acceptance? Unlikely but possible.

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change?
    Before kids, the wife was more adventurous in many areas. But also not as informed or experienced. So it's hard saying.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?
    Guess it would depend. How serious, what are the parameters, how she would see our relationship, and frankly a little bit of how good she tried to look. I might be ok with it if it came from the heart and she still loved me.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple?
    That could be tough, but you never know. I have my doubts but I might be willing to try.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair?
    Not my preference, but if it meant that much to her I would try

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time?
    Some do, some don't. For some, it's an image of an idealized time. Also people like fashions for lots of reasons. Maybe it's fun. Remember Zoe in New Girl. She dug that kind of thing.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?
    Again, individual, and some fantasy. But also consider that by pushing to the far boundary may make one feel that they are removing doubt about their presentation. Heavy beard cover helps hide that Fred Flintstone shadow


    11) What is your definition of Femininity?
    It wildly varies, as I really like all kinds of women, but particularly like strong, smart confident women. One of the most important markers of femininity to me is empathy and kindness. I tend to stress that over agressiveness when dressed.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray)
    No, but it is a preference.

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?
    I try to dress appropriately, and yes like my partner to as well.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image?
    Same reason cis women are. Vanity is not confined to any gender or orientation.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?
    Some people feel a great need for validation. This is normal, but may seem like it's excessive. However remember, you don't see pictures of those that don't post.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out?
    Some yes and some no. It is helpful if they do, but again this could be said for any behavior, golfing, shopping, etc. And this is not regulated to a single gender.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?
    Again, individual situations.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?
    I am dressed typically 23 hours in a day, not when showering. Oh, you mean cross dressed? I get dolled up about once a month. I do underdress about 2 times a week, and always have my earnings in. Plus mascara.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life?
    She doesn't want to go out with Meghan, bit that's only a small portion of time. We don't discuss it with mutual friends and relations. Kids don't care, but I don't make it a point to over share.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?
    That's not an either or situation. I didn't have an MPP witha Gant chart milestones and task delegation. We are still working through it.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?
    Not if she didn't share other interests too, but that would be a big consideration

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    See 11, also clean, pretty and happy.

  7. #32
    Southern Belle Phoebe Reece's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    1,386
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse? My spouse knew before we were married.

    2) What regrets do you have if any? None

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself? N/A

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? Most crossdressers crave acceptance. Anything other than clear rejection can mean acceptance is possible. We believe what we want to believe.

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change? Circumstances change over time and so do many attitudes. Some things become more important as time goes on while other things become less important. This applies to many things not involving crossdressing.

    6) How were you feel if the situation was reversed? If this question means how would I feel if my wife was a crossdresser and I was not, I believe I would offer my help and love even if I didn?t understand it. Marriage is a partnership and you can?t have things your own way all the time if the marriage is going to survive.

    7) Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple? I would find it to be very amusing. It would be a big private joke.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair? If my wife had me sufficiently aroused otherwise? perhaps. I am not a fan of facial hair on a man or a woman. I have always been clean shaven. My wife does not care for facial hair on me either.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? It?s a bit of escapism. Those outfits from another time represent something that we found very attractive when living in that time. It?s a way of going back to those days.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing? I assume this refers to the presentation that drag queens make. That is a gross exaggeration of the things we find attractive in a woman. Part of this is due to most crossdressers not having the opportunity to grow up as women. They are still working on their self-image and just can?t make the leap from being a teenage girl to a mature woman.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity? I think it is presenting yourself to the world with the attributes most commonly held by women. Those attributes can be physical appearance, mode of dress, language, and how you interact with other people.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) I am attracted to many kinds of women. Some of them are more feminine than others. I try to portray a classic styled, confident, friendly, and empathetic woman.

    13) Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards? It would be nice once in a while, but certainly is not necessary all the time. I like to admire my wife when she looks her best.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image? Crossdressers generally want validation of their presentation. We are striving to create that ideal image of a woman that exists only in our minds.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? I can only speculate that they are seeking approval from others.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out? Some boundaries can be anticipated and some have to be spelled out. We can?t read our partners minds most of the time. What?s important to one may be very trivial to another.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much? If something is important to you, that needs to be communicated to your partner. Pushing the boundaries can have a bad outcome. Both sides need to choose what?s worth fighting over carefully or the relationship can fall apart.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing? Before the virus lockdown, I would dress about one full day every week (around 12 to 16 hours) and be out and about for anything from 2 to 12 hours each time. I generally do not dress just to sit around at home, so I have not dressed much lately. I did that for many years when working overseas. I resolved that if I go to the trouble of dressing it will be to spend some time out and about interacting with people. Once dressed though, I stay that way for the entire day, whether I am at home or out and about.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? No affect on my social life. Most of my friends are crossdressers. Family life is affected only in that my wife will not accompany me to most places in our hometown when I am dressed. She will go out with me if we are in a different city. So I end up going a lot of places with my friends instead of with my wife.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? In other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it? My wife and I married at a very young age. She accepted it while we were dating. There was no strategy.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting? I am still very happily married, so the question would not apply to me unless something happened to my wife. The answer is no. That would not be the sole reason for dating someone. However, non-acceptance would be a reason to not pursue the relationship further.

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine. It means looking in a mirror and seeing a facsimile of my own ideal image of a real woman looking back. If I look good, I have a sense of accomplishment. If those I interact with treat me as if I was ?the real thing? I am very content ? even if I know that they know I am not female.
    Phoebe

  8. #33
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    2,108
    I want to preface my answers with that I feel these questions just reeked of animosity and inadequacy. If people are unhappy with their spouses (or themselves) they need to address it directly.

    1) N/a

    2) My regret is for too long allowing myself to be influenced by society that what I was doing was shameful

    3) Not dishonest with myself

    4) A lack of response is immature. No mind readers here

    5) N/a

    6) A reversed situation is not directly equitable due to how men and women differ in their perceptions of attraction to the same sex.

    7) I have gay friends. I do not give a hoot if people think we are a couple when we meet up for a drink

    8) If facial hair meant she would be more assertive in bed then bring it on!

    9) A perusal of Instagram and Pinterest would show that women love to dress in clothes from other periods. Therefore seems straightforward that some of us would like to do the same

    10) A perusal of Instagram and Pinterest would show that women love to dress in over the top ways. The difference for CDs is that we generally require more makeup to achieve a look we are happy with.

    11) My definition of femininity is irrelevant to others.

    12) Is it really a newsflash that people who take more care with their presentation appear to be attractive? I am not going to fib, I think the women I see who are dressed nicely in ways similar to how I do are very alluring. Sweatpants and a general lack of love for one?s own body are not going to get a second look.

    13) My wife is from Moscow. Dressing nicely is in her DNA, I do not need to ask.

    14) Why are so many women on Instagram obsessed with their image? And are we going to pretend that the women?s fashion, makeup and beauty industry is not a multi billion dollar business?

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? The male brain is very competitive

    16) Yes, the partner should speak her mind about boundaries.

    17) This sounds like question that needs to be addressed directly to the offending party

    18) My dressing is done, for the vast majority of the time, when my wife is not home. Sometimes she is but she knows ahead of time and occasionally she will join me going out. Either way, I am not taking anything from her.

    19) My social life improved when I started going out dressed. A lot.

    20) My strategy was to take it slooow and allow her to ask any and all questions.

    21) An accepting GG is a wondrous thing but hardly encapsulates everything that a person needs.

    22) Feeling feminine is not something that I have ever thought about too much. Being masculine is showing strength, being decisive, leading, etc. Being feminine is traditionally nurturing, supporting, being nice to look at. I am probably a melange of the the two and I do not know another way. We also have very un-masculine men and un-feminine women.
    Last edited by AngelaYVR; 04-23-2020 at 05:09 PM.

  9. #34
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    4,450
    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?

    Wasn't an issue at first, but eventually she wore the work pants, top and safety boots from 5am until 11.30pm - I didn't like that.
    When I left her, she had worn the work pants and top, 7 days a week, with probably only 2 exceptions in an 8 month period.
    Shame really, she had a body that looked really good in women's clothes.

    While I was upset she went from very glam to drab over 3 years, I didn't leave her because of that, she became so manly, she thought it was okay to hit me whenever she was upset.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  10. #35
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Living in the present
    Posts
    2,563
    Quote Originally Posted by FAB Forum Mods View Post


    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse? How can I? Back then I was ignorant.

    2) What regrets do you have if any? That I did not have the internet to inform me.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself? No. just completely unaware.

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? No idea!

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change? No. Complete lack of acceptance. Still the case today.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ? I'm a lot more open-minded and flexible than she. Besides, she wears anything she likes and it's OK.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple? No. I'm heterosexual.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair? I'll try anything at least once.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? I think that the feminine fashions of the 50s and 60s were/are still the most alluring things!

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing? No idea. Not me thing.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity? Indefinable. Some women have it. Most don't.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) No. I look at the inner being (Honest!). I look for intelligence, not superficial veneer.

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards? It would be nice. But I'm for freedom of expression - I will not insist on anything.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image? Narcissistic? Not sure.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? I don't get it either.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out? Communication is key. Talk, don't leave your partner to try to second-guess how you feel.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much? I pushed the boundaries out of frustration and ignorance. These days, I am more considerate. But the ex-is not interested in giving it another go.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing? Right now - zero. Covid-19 shutdown issues. A few months ago, anything from 2-12 hours a day.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? It doesn't.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it? No. I was totally ignorant, as I said above. The result was, I suppose, inevitable.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting? No. But I would ask her for a second date if it turned out shat she was!

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine. I am me, regardless of what I am wearing.



    .
    Hope this helps.
    Gale

  11. #36
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Greater Houston
    Posts
    3,041
    I should qualify my answers as coming from a TS point of view...

    1) I did tell her, both times (That I was a CD, when we first got serious, and when I finally learned that I was not that).

    2) N/A

    3) No, but the question assumes that the deception was a conscious, willful act. Nothing could be further from the truth.

    4) I got nothin'. Wishful thinking? Why do so many partners find it impossible to engage on the matter?

    5) I changed (duh...), so it has been a challenge for her.

    6) Quite the same, I expect.

    7) Yes. If I were a hetero-normal male and my wife transitioned, I believe I would still love the same person.

    8) Beards turn me off, regardless, so no.

    9) Based on observation, two reasons. One, it's purely a style thing. I've had GG friends whose entire wardrobe was "kitschy retro", so why should CD's be any different? Two, fetish, pure and simple.

    10) Again, fetish.

    11) I'll fall back on Webster; " the quality or nature of the female sex". That sorta feels like a cop out, but it really covers a lot of ground, so I consider it appropriate. Anything less is stereotyping.

    12) Oh hell no!

    13) I want her to dress in the way that makes her feel good, i.e. comfortable, pretty, whatever.

    14) Again, fetish, and narcissism.

    15) Narcissism

    16) Some do. Most don't (again, based on observations here). All would be better served by open and honest communication.

    17) Some are. Some are not.

    18) I get dressed every day. I crossdress (boy clothes) as little as possible.

    19) We don't have much of a social life, but all of our close friends know.

    20) Great question. I had come to the realization that I am what I am, and I would not hide from a partner ever again.

    21) Probably not. I've seen a few to many stories of abuse on the part of the "accepting" partner. I need to know that I am seen as something more than "accepted".

    22) Aargh! That one drives me crazy every time I read it here. I am familiar with the rush that fetish dressers get (though it has been decades since I felt it). Sorry, but I don't know a single woman who "feels so girly" when she puts on her underwear.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  12. #37
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Orange County, California
    Posts
    3,080
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse?
    No, not before our marriage. I thought marriage and my going into the Navy would cure me of wanting to CD.

    2) What regrets do you have if any?
    None, really. My dear wife was very Victorian .. old fashioned, really, and I knew she'd never accept my CDing.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself?
    Yes, a bit.

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? NA

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change?
    No, still negative once she found out.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?
    I really don't know.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple?
    It wouldn't bother me.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair?
    No. Leg hair, OK. When a CDer changes faces, it's with makeup.. not the same as a hairy face.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time?
    Because the styles of dress were pretty and very feminine. 50s: chiffon underskirts and flowing dresses. I have several, and LOVE them.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?
    Each to his (her) own, but I think he would soon realize his errors .. OK in private, though.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity?
    A person who exhibits the beauty of being who and what you are without any masculine feelings.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray)
    I could be. Right now, I consider my TG self to be bi-sexual, and would enjoy pleasing a man as a woman.

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?
    NA. My wife died 6 years ago

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image?
    It's how each feels they should present when dressed as they want to to be dressed.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?
    I haven't posted a photo any where, but would like to .

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out?
    I would guess, spell it out (and take anything you can get!)

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?
    The wise ones are.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?
    24/7 except when I have to go out in drab.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life?
    Positive to social, not so with family life. Only my sister knows of my CDing, and she is 1000% supportive.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? In other words, did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?
    I did not come out. She found out. I told her I felt very feminine and needed to do it, but don't know why. She never tried to understand or talk about it. "Now my husband wishes he was born a female!!" Silence for weeks!

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?
    NO

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    Last edited by Di; 04-24-2020 at 05:06 AM. Reason: TMI and didyounot understand the question? It was not who you want to have sex with / it’s what does feeling feminine mean ?

  13. #38
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Location
    Northern Georgia
    Posts
    515
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse?
    I told her and got no response. She never saw me in women's clothes until after we were married.

    2) What regrets do you have if any?
    I had several great opportunities to crossdress in my youth, never took advantage of them. I kept my crossdressing a secret because I believed it was humiliating.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself?
    I believed it would go away by itself. I believed it would go away when I got married. I believed if I prayed hard enough it would go away. I believed I could make it go away with enough willpower.

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance?
    I find my wife gives me very little response. She just thinks its a fetish she tries to tolerate it best she can.

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change?
    Things have slightly improved as my wife comes to realize that it is under control.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?
    I wouldn't want my wife to be more masculine. I think feminine things are wonderful.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple?
    No, and I wouldn't want to go out as a lesbian couple either. I have never gone out crossdressed. I keep it private, and only my wife as seen me crossdressed.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair?
    No, and my wife wouldn't have sex with me crossdressed either. When we have sex we are naked.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time?
    I have always thought that the feminine outfits of my early youth were much more feminine. Women wore girdles, slips, petticoats and dresses with big skirts. They also wore tight pencil skirts. Vintage lingerie was also very sexy.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?
    I don't do it. Every crossdresser is different. For me crossdressing how my brain is hardwired. When I crossdress my brain releases a host of feel-good neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, etc.). The feminine clothes are just the tool to release the neurotransmitters that make me happy.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity?
    Femininity is a very broad term. Feminine clothing is about soft, smooth fabrics, long dresses, long hair, shiny jewels, patent leather shoes, slips with lace and girdles and hose. Just of thought of it is wonderful.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray)
    Beauty and femininity is a big broad and I can appreciate a woman who enjoys being feminine in her own way.

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?
    It would be nice but certainly isn't necessary. I would just as well love to dress in her manner.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image?
    I am not obsessed with mine. I don't make a good looking woman, and I find that very few crossdressers every look passable. I don't know why they are obsessed with their image either.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?
    This is done to authenticate themselves and to receive some positive feedback. They want to feel they aren't doing anything weird and when people give them positive responses, it helps them cope with themselves.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out?
    I really appreciate it my wife discusses it. My wife is more important than anything in my life and I do want to please her. So I do want to understand when I go outside her comfort boundaries.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?
    Certainly. I don't want to push too much. However I do want my wife to understand that crossdressing is something that makes me happy. I really don't think I can make it go away.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?
    Not much. I wish I did more, but I am able to keep it limited and under control. My wife does allow me to wear a nightgown to bed sometimes. I like that.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life?
    It doesn't. I keep it private and limited to the safety of the home. No one knows about my crossdressing except my wife, and she wants to keep it that way.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?
    I took it slowly. At first I would just wear a single piece under my pajamas. Later she allowed for a silky nightgown with a slip. It was just one step at a time based on her tolerance.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?
    If I was single (which I am not) and a GG would encourage or accept unlimited crossdressing that would be a big plus, but it isn't the most important thing in establishing a loving relationship. I have been married for almost 40 years. My wife is more important than anything, including my crossdressing.

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    I feel feminine when I am wearing women's clothing which is soft, smooth, pretty. I can feel the rush of feel-good neurotransmitters. It feels like I just accomplished something amazing. I am happy, and I feel loved.

  14. #39
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,643
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse? N/A I was upfront with her

    2) What regrets do you have if any? N/A I was upfront with her

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself? I question myself as my GID

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? no news is good news analogy?

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change? N/A

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ? I did just that and was very supportive but she left me for another woman.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple? When I retire from my job until then "NO"

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair? Yes

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? Fetish

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done makeup or over the top dressing? It is programing of the generation/perception of the decade. Today is yoga pants, 1960s it was mini skirts.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity? A woman's body

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) yes

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards? Yes

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image? Theater of the mind

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? Unacceptable!!!

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out? Spell it out

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much? Yes

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing? Right under pandemic my work trumps dressing

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? N/A still in the closet but I go to social events

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it? No the third date I just ripped the perferbal bandaid...to ensure she can decide.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting? Yes

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine. Starts with the clothing, I feel calmer, the feeling of being true to my inner self.


    .
    Last edited by mbmeen12; 04-25-2020 at 02:33 AM. Reason: change answer/s
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  15. #40
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    1,912
    OK, here you go,

    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse? Yes

    2) What regrets do you have if any? That I wasn't born twenty years later.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself? I believe I was ignorant of what I was experiencing.

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? I think this is a personality trait, not a CDing trait.

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change? No

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ? I would ask if she still loved me, if yes, we would work things out.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple? It?s 2020, really!

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair? It wouldn?t matter.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? Mental connections relative to hormonal stages. Oddly I seem to have grown out of this.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing? I know GGs that do this, even to work. I don?t know why.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity? Nurturing, empathy, and caring for the mental aspects, the physical would be physically softer, smaller frame, graceful.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) No, I appreciate most women who care and respect themselves and others.

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards? No, she never has, and I married her.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image? It?s all they have to portray.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? Being a closet case I really have no idea.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out? It?s a trait of the relationship.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much? It?s a trait of the relationship or the person.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing? Lately (COVID-19) none, before one day (6-8 hours) every couple of months.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? My wife and I are DADT, our extended family doesn?t know.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it? I left too many clues, she just asked; I didn?t lie.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting? No, there would have to be more.

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine. At ease, relaxed, and peaceful.

  16. #41
    Member Aka_Donna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Location
    Sacramento Valley
    Posts
    490
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse?
    Late in life onset so joint discovery.

    2) What regrets do you have if any?
    Much of life is choices between two or more paths. We can play the what-if games forever, but biggest regret was
    not daily discussing internal self-talk during first marriage.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself?
    Bogus question. It's not honest/dishonest but self awareness. Some are more self aware than others, and the take care
    of yourself and go by feelings is a long long rat hole from which there is often no escape.

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance?
    Too much is clouded by emotions and many times the hunger to explore overwhelms logical thinking

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change?
    Life is constantly changing and each day is a discovery.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?
    Feeling: ok, as long as good emotional connections. Logically, it would mean taking a different view of human interactions.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple?
    Why is it an either-or choice? For example is a twosome of a butch lesbian and redneck hillybilly a gay couple? Sometimes standard
    labels don't apply. Isn't this question more of "how would I be able to adjust if someone assumes we are a gay couple"?

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair?
    Is this supposed to be a no-go? Question is too vague. Is it neat and attractive or a scratch haystack? Is costume play always bad?

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time?
    Why do people dress in just a few outfits during halloween? It's an escape and play acting.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?
    It's a learning curve, first start with bold and then get artistic.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity?
    Huh, so who cares? This is not transitioning.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray)
    No, but this type feels pretty, i.e., attractive

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?
    Only occassionally and never forced.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image?
    It's like being a teenager all over again. What if this and what if that.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?
    Don't know. Too private, only use icons and never pictures on a forever web site.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out?
    Spell it out. After decades SO still assumes I will love the type of food she does.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?
    See #4, it's emotional.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?
    Varies: from 0 to 4 hrs to 8 hrs.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life?
    All is within home borders. Girls know but we never discuss and have not discussed with boys.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?
    More both struggle with this discovery.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?
    Never, would anyone reduce life to a one issue question?

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    What if that is not important at all? More feeling out of body experience and relaxed than male- female.

  17. #42
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    175
    Okay ladies, here's my two cents worth. Have tried to answer the questions that I can answer.

    09 Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? Depends very much

    10) Why do some think Femininity is overdone makeup or over the top dressing? Honestly, no idea.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity? Being able to dress and act like a GG.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) No I like all women.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? Becaue most CD's are generally straight thought it can vary from person to person. In my case, I'm completely straight though I do occassionally love to dress em femme.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing? It varies depending on what kind of mood I'm in at the time.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? It can be fairly awkward at times. When I was a teenager I also used to get caught by my mother and that was awkward to say the least. Not many people socially know about this hobby of mine. I tend to keep it quiet soically so still very much in the closet, so to speak.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting? Possibly but her personality would also be an important factor in this decision and not solely based on only one thing.

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    "feeling feminine" to me means being able to dress and act like a GG (as stated above). Whenever I dress, being dressed en femme makes me feel good and like a full complete person. I've also been told by a former GG who I used to dress up with every so often, that my eye contact improves when I'm dressed en femme. In short, being dressed en femme make me feel relaxed, happy and comfortable.

  18. #43
    Member Nastasha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Sunny Florida
    Posts
    199
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse? - Told her right after we got engaged so I guess, NA.

    2) What regrets do you have if any? NA

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself? No

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? I guess some folks just can't see the forest for the trees. Lack of response is the whistling kettle in too many cases.

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change? No? Not sure I understand.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ? I love her, so I would be fine with it. It's a discussion we've actually had.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple? Sure, it wouldn't bother me.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair? Sure.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? For me, it's because it seems that some women have become more masculine over time. The outfits and hairstyles form the past just to me seem more feminine,

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?
    Everybody has an opinion or view. Not everyone is going to have the same view or idea.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity?
    Hmmm ... my wife and by extension her mother. Grace, poise, warmth and compassion.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) No

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?
    Cder? ... that's too broad a net cast.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image? That's true in all aspects of society, not just folks who cd.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?
    I don't so no idea.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out? If you listen and observe, you'll know them.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?
    If they are smart.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?
    100% in some aspects, as much as possible in others.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? It doesn't.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?
    Strategy, no, I was just honest with her and let her ask questions and was honest in the replies.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?
    No

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    No idea, I'm just me.

  19. #44
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    2,114
    Frankly, I find these questions hostile, both in their inferences and their assumptions.
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  20. #45
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    1,643
    Donnalee you may be right but I support every GG trying to explore and understand their SO.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  21. #46
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    16,589
    Quote Originally Posted by donnalee View Post
    Frankly, I find these questions hostile, both in their inferences and their assumptions.
    The questions are being ask from the point of view of some GG's.

    I would be very way of assumptions as the questions are coming from a group and are not specific to an individual.

    If you don't ask the question how is anyone supposed to learn.

    I am sure everyone here has at some point asked "why me ? "

    This has always been a place where we encourage everyone to learn as much as we can from each other.

    All the women who contributed to the question have a specific reason for asking.

    They should all be applauded for trying to learn where others don't.
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 04-25-2020 at 03:20 AM.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  22. #47
    New Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    20
    Before we get started I would like to say I did not find the questions hostile or offending. We all have a need to gather information, or opinions to help us understand ourselves and others. I say for the GG's you have proposed the questions, Thank you for participating and trying to understand us and help us understand our selves.


    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse? Yes, My dressing started pre-internet and I had no idea that I would not be able/want to stop when I got married.

    2) What regrets do you have if any? Knowing what I know now I would have explored transition at a very early age. Thankfully my wife is more important to me than the need to change.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself? No, I just did not have the information to make informed choices in the early years

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? In the absence of a definite answer (No), I hear what I want to hear (Yes).

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change? I think her acceptance has increased over time.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ? I would like to think the love we share would not be dependent on the package it was carried in.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple? Not a problem

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair? If the question refers to wearing an actual beard, I do not know although I support a full beard and the wife loves it, I have not kissed a harry face before. If the question is more generic and refers to presenting as male when having sex, then why not, I would at least give it a try and see if I was OK with it.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? Who knows, maybe this spot in time has some pleasant memory attached

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing? Could be lack of knowledge, experience or someone to say let me help you present in an appropriate manner

    11) What is your definition of Femininity? Sorry, much like art, I do not have a definition for what I like but I know it when I see it. Compassion, empathy, grace and a host of other traits wrapped in the female form would be on the list

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) No, I think the women that attract me tend to have self confidence and an acceptance of themselves. No so concerned with how they present themselves

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards? Not necessarily, I want my partner to feel comfortable with themselves and I think how they dress should express this. But I do like to see my wife all dressed up she has such a great sense of style.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image? I think it may have to do with how hard we try to look female and the validation we need to see it.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? Sorry I would say ego (look at me, see how good I look)

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out? No, ultimately I am a guy and need to be hit with a 2x4 for it to get through. Spell it out for me so I understand and do not need to read between the lines.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing? I work from home so I always wear female undies, jeans, tops. I do not present as female with wig and makeup.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? Because of what I wear every day sometimes I have to think about where I am going and how I am going to be perceived (mostly concerned if the wife is going with me)

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it? Sorry I do not remember how she found out. I suspect she found some panties in the laundry and I told her from there. She did struggle with the whole concept and sough out information for several years before at least accepting it.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting? No, This would hardly be a reason to form a relationship but knowing what I know now I would let her early on because no acceptance would be a deal killer

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine. This would be hard to explain, the feeling has more to do with accepting who I am verses putting on the male macho presentation.

  23. #48
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    1,574
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse?
    N/A.
    2) What regrets do you have if any?
    I regret not telling her sooner though I was in denial myself.
    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself?
    I was totally in denial for most of my life about it.
    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance?
    I think they hope that but don't think it means acceptance.
    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change?
    My wife seems to get more accepting with time.
    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?
    I would be ok with it.
    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple?
    Hmmm, maybe not.
    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair?
    I don't mind her leg hair, so I probably would get used to facial hair too.
    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time?
    To quote Icona Pop: "but I'm a 90's bitch". For me I love 90s fashion and that is when I started CDing, so I see those as being related. I think others might fall in the same boat. But I also feel cispeople get stuck in a particular fashion they grew up with and stick with it (look at all the old women wearing hoisery when most younger women don't).
    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?
    Well I don't do makeup but sometimes like over the top dressing. For me it is simple clean fun to do that, but my daily CDing is more regular.
    11) What is your definition of Femininity?
    A part is the sexist qualities of gentle, soft, caring, and loving. A part of it is the clothes, the curves, the colors, the patterns. A part is the body, the curves, the hairstyles.
    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray)
    I am attracted to many women, but in particular the more what I see as feminine typically the more i like them.
    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?
    Yes.
    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image?
    It's how I am wired. I love the shape of a woman, and the clothes made for that shape. So much so I want to enjoy those clothes on my non-feminine body.
    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?
    I don't post so I don't know for sure. I think some aren't out so this is way of being seen. Some love positive attention fellow CDers can give instead harsh ones strangers might give.
    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out?
    Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?
    I know I like to push the boundary since I want more than what my wife wants.
    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?
    90% of the time. Though I am non-binary, so my dressing is mostly t-shirts and skirts.
    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life?
    It hasn't affected it much besides my relationship with my wife.
    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?
    I had no plan. It was a need, and I was willing to give up our marriage if it came to that (we were in a rocky place at the time). But with her acceptance, I have pushed boundaries at times, and other times eased off and held back (though I doubt she even saw that thinking about it now).
    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?
    Sole reason, no, but it would be easier to overlook issues if she was accepting.
    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.
    For me it is about the clothes and jewelry. But it just feels partially feminine. I still feel like a man in a dress.

  24. #49
    Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    California
    Posts
    176
    1) Do you regret not telling your spouse? - I told her before we were married. She didn?t think it was a big deal...that was more than two decades ago. At that time I hadn?t cross dressed...only knew I had these feelings and had had them since I was a young child...it was all about having long hair for me. She was confused at times...as was I. She was patient, as I have been too. Lots of respect in our marriage, and I was crazy careful, only entertaining the idea of dressing when she brought it up.

    2) What regrets do you have if any? Not relaxing more...letting my hair grow, and just not overthinking it. She would say the same...?Stop beating yourself up about it.? Other than that, no other regrets.

    3) Do you think you were dishonest with yourself? No

    4) Why do some CDs think lack of response from their partners mean acceptance? Because men do not understand women by and large....don?t know how to listen, don?t know how to communicate, etc.

    5) Were things mutually acceptable in the past but things change? N/A

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ? I admit, it would be a struggle, however, I think that had she gone about it in a similar way, my response would be similar to hers...I can hope.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple? N/A - We don?t go out...even though she thinks it would be fun.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair? N/A

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time? No idea...doesn?t apply to me

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing? Because I think a lot of men (I know I should be careful stereotyping) don?t have a lot of experience or have paid close enough attention to these details...some dress for the feel, as opposed to looking age appropriate, subtle, or classy. My wife used to wonder in the early days, if I wanted to wear a lot of eye makeup, etc...then she learned this was never the case. She helped me look classy..and NOT over the top. If I couldn?t pull it off, don?t do it.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity? Tricky. I personally think femininity is greater than any TGer or CDer. Even though, I know some people have legitimate sexual identity issues, I?m conflicted and even doubt what they think ?femininity? means or is. How do they know when they aren?t a bio woman. I know this will offend some. I place my wife and her femininity above anything I do...that isn?t tied to my issues.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray) - When I dress, and it?s not common (there are some photos on here), it?s an attempt to always remain age appropriate and acceptance of approval from the Mrs. I?m not attracted to myself...only to my wife...but I do enjoy the process of trying to make myself more attractive...ironically, I look a bit like her (according to her, not me)...we just have similar features.

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards? Not really...however, she has become more feminine over the years (isn?t that term funny?)...but she started out as an attractive, even hot looking tomboy (hair in ponytail, but crazy cute), but much more an attractive woman. I?m a very very lucky husband

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image? Isn?t society as whole...not all, but a lot. Thank you social media, internet, magazines, etc. I?m sorry woman, you have it the worst...but I think men are getting hammered by it now too. See the movies, etc.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts? N/a) - Don?t understand this question

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out? My wife respects me, I respect her...we don?t have boundaries...she tries to push me...encourages me...and I remain boring :-)

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing? Zero...think about it all of the time....but dress rarely...the most in a single year was probably a few times a month, over several months...usually only a couple times a year. Even though she knew of the dressing before marriage and was ok w/it...it didn?t happen a single time (other than just maybe playing w/my hair during a movie or something)...it was 10 years into our marriage, before she told me to get going...she bought the clothes, even made me some...the wigs, etc. Special surprise..that?s for sure. She loved it. Even then...I have been nothing, but careful, not to abuse it...I think a lot of men and CDers get so crazy about this, they lose balance and focus on what matters most...their wife and family.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life? It?s made me a better husband. I have more sympathy to my children?s needs because of it....they of course have no idea. I?m more helpful for my wife. I help her, I compliment her, I serve her.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it? She?s accepted me, but I think also in a sense I may have been manipulating at times, to try get see what she would do...it worked and she and I have sense laughed about it.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting? Don?t know. I?m not sure what my response would?ve been had my then girlfriend, not accepted. I may have eventually stopped the relationship before marriage, but NOT because of the CD stuff...I wasn?t even doing it then, only that I would have wanted someone to be accepting of something I didn?t understand. I was of her. It?s that marriage is suppose to be? It was such a big revelation for me to share...I had never vocalized it before...she could tell it was huge for me...just wasn?t a big deal to her, because she knew me. She kinda thought I liked girly stuff...as she watched me closely and listened to my interesting comments...that I could braid hair, etc...she was curious and smart :-)

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.

    I don?t know. I love and respect women so much. We underestimate them. I do wish this could be more open in society, but understand why it isn?t. I wish that all of the CDers here would try to understand their wife?s much more than trying to understand themselves...

    Serve and love your spouse...lose yourself thru serving her...and I think by and large, you?ll find yourself and have peace with yourself, by doing so.

    Good luck.

    .

  25. #50
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    2,622
    1-5 don't apply: no girlfriends or spouse for reasons unrelated to crossdressing.

    6)How were you feel if the situation was reversed ?

    Fine. It's harmless. I draw the line when someone is genuinely harmed or legal issues rear their head.

    7)Would you want to go out and be perceived as a male gay couple?

    Yes, as long as we are safe.

    8) Would you want to have sex if your partner were wearing facial hair?

    It's fine. There are a few women that have facial hair due to hormonal or other issues. I do my best to accept people as they are, as long as they are not anything close to abusive or create legal issues.

    9) Why do CDs tend to want to dress in stereo typical outfits from another time?

    This isn't my style, which is blending. You'll have to ask them.

    10) Why do some think Femininity is over done make up or over the top dressing?

    Unknown. Please ask the person involved.

    11) What is your definition of Femininity?

    Never really thought about it beyond knowing what an attractive lady looks like when I see her.

    12) Are you only attracted to this kind of woman? ( like you portray)

    No. I'm primarily interested in a nice, accepting personality and a good intellect. A little harmless mischief doesn't hurt.

    13)Do you want your partner to dress in the manner of dress the cder leans towards?

    It's her prerogative to dress as she sees fit. I won't complain unless her costume is blatantly inappropriate for the occasion, for example, wearing a skimpy 2 piece swimsuit to a funeral.

    14) Why are so many Obsessed with their image?

    Unknown. Vanity isn't one of my strong points.

    15) Why do so many post their pictures in the m2f section injecting more pictures of themselves in others posts?

    Unknown. I don't post pictures anywhere or anytime unless in an email to a licensed medical practitioner.

    16) Can the cd anticipate the partners boundaries or does the partner have to spell it out?

    Assumptions can be dangerous. To be blunt, we aren't mind readers. Please spell it out.

    17) In other words are they careful not to push too much?

    No spouse or GF.

    18) In a typical week how much time is spent dressing?

    Maybe one day every week or two.

    19) In what way does it affect your social and family life?

    It doesn't.

    20) When you came out to your S.O. did you have a strategy to gain your S.O acceptance? I other words did you own the process or let your S.O. struggle with it?

    I plan to disclose when I see evidence of a serious relationship and do my best to help her through it. If that means both of us seeing a licensed mental health professional, so be it.

    21) Would you date a GG for the sole reason they are accepting?

    Absolutely not. That would be a one-dimensional relationship that will fail when one partner loses interest. I'm looking for something with more a lot more depth.

    22) What does "feeling feminine" mean to you? Describe how you feel when you feel feminine.

    For me, dressing is primarily about stress management.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State