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Thread: Bored of crossdressing advice needed

  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Bored of crossdressing advice needed

    Hi there everyone i have not posted on here for a very long time but i have been drawn to it again for advice.recently i have been getting bored with crossdressing when ever i dress it just feels like uhh i used to love it years ago and want to love it again my question to you all is this have you ever gone through this and how did you re spark the passion for dressing again
    Thank you all so much in advance

  2. #2
    Member Aka_Donna's Avatar
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    I think most do, just go with your gut.who says it's required. If you need to, the drive will come back with big energy

  3. #3
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
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    It's pretty simple. If you need it, and can do it.... then do it.
    If not, it will be there for you if/when you need it.
    It's ok to not dress for a while. I once went an entire year. And I was single at the time, and could've done whatever I wanted.
    Maybe try something new in regards to your dressing.
    "Samm" Sammara Michaels

    I also speak fluent sarcasm

  4. #4
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    At various times in my life the need to dress would go dormant for long stretches. I never did anything to re spark it, it always came back of it's own accord.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Kay J's Avatar
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    Never happen to me I still love being dress and alway will!

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Megan,
    Once a crossdresser, walways a crossdresser. Don't your mojo will will return.
    perhaps you need some new clothes - it's a pity that the shops are closed.
    luv J

  7. #7
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I know exactly what you are talking about. I have been through that many times.

    People like us are different in some ways than others. We often do not have a more or less fixed gender definition that is common in most people. Our self definition may span a wider zone of the gender spectrum than most people or it may be poorly developed or any number of other explanations. Its main characteristic is a variable sense of self. But because of that we can go through phases. The best advice is to play along with it; don't force it to be one way or the other, but allow the shifting to occur naturally. Believe me, if you go into a long spell of not dressing or hardly even thinking about it, there is nothing wrong with you. You are fine. In time it will change again. As SirDonna said, it is not a requirement. It will be back. Your membership card in the gender variant world cannot be revoked. Once a member you are a member for life, no matter whether you dress all the time, some of the time, or rarely.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    Same here as with Elizabeth G. Just don't purge, keep you stuff, pack it away with the love and care it deserves and it will be there for you when your desire to dress comes back; it has for me every time after going dormant for as long as 20 years.
    I am Me and Me is OK!



    Shelby

  9. #9
    Member Georgia Rose's Avatar
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    Hey this happens all the time. I have times when I just want to constantly dress but there are others when I think I'll do that but then a few hours later can't be bothered. I usually go up to 4 or 5 months over summer when I don't dress and then when it gets a bit cooler and no daylight saving get right back into it. Just don't throw out all your stuff because it can come back with a vengeance and you have to start again. Very expensive.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    I have had times like that up to and including purging. As strong as the urge to dress can be in some respects those occasional lulls in desire give me time to catch my breath before the next (stronger) urge hits me. Dressing, especially the way some of us more stealth dressers go about it, can be exhausting. The dressing in and of itself isn't exhausting but all the extra steps associated with hiding it can wear a girl out.

  11. #11
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    Its pretty normal to have stretches like that if its just a hobby for you.

  12. #12
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I felt like that a few times many years ago.
    That's when I would purge thinking this is over. Then of course I saw it wasn't and there I go again.
    Well, about 20 years ago I came to the realization that this for me is for life. Now there are days when I don't want to dress, or I have something to do that requires "him" to do it and that's fine.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  13. #13
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    Enjoy your time not dressing. Maybe you will start dressing again. Maybe ur done. That's not necessarily a bad thing.

  14. #14
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    There have been many times when I had the opportunity to be en femme and had no motivation. Sometimes these lapses came when I had days and days of opportunity when my wife was away visiting family. There were years when I did not feel any drive to be en femme. If I ever really figured it all out, I'd be able to give you an answer. There is probably something in your life which prompts you do be en femme, and, that is absent right now. If you believe dressing is no more than a hobby, like any other hobby you may have gotten bored it with. My dressing is more than "just a hobby."

  15. #15
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    Thank you everyone for responding to my question but I font want yo stop I just want to feel happy in myself I suffer badly with anxiety and depression and have no friends I think this may be a factor

  16. #16
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I used to tell my young daughters, "If you're bored it's because you're boring."

    Thru out my life I've pushed ahead with projects I was passionate about. Eventually, moving on to something else that I became more passionate about.

    I always assumed I would move on from dressing some day, too. But, after 25 years I've found there r still so many options and directions for me to go with women's dressing!
    I think this may be a life long passion for me!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  17. #17
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    When I am dressed I am in a place where I belong and feel normal and when I go out I sometimes forget my male side - I would not care if I ever cross-dressed back, but alas reality is a strong task master, and so shuck off feminine attire put on a straight face and continue...………………………….. ……………………………..Debra

  18. #18
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Bored of dressing? Then don't! Take a break for a while. Don't worry, one day it will hit you like a truck and you will NEED to dress again.

  19. #19
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    What do you DO when you’re dressed? I see this kind of ennui most often from crossdressers who view dressing an end, not a means to an end. That is, if you’re dressing just TO dress, and you get all cute then look around your house and say “well isn’t this nice?” of course boredom can set in. The most content dressers seem to be the ones who associate their dressing with an activity, like shopping, or going dancing or to shows. Just DO something. You’re only going to get that adrenaline rush from putting on the clothes for so long.

  20. #20
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Megan,
    The motivations do seem to vary between individuals. For me, what Micki said hits close to home. I have a low desire to get fully dolled up to sit around the house. Ever since I began socializing with others while dressed, I can not get enough. I met some amazing people who I would never have met otherwise. It does not matter if I am at a drag show, dancing, or just sitting at the bar. It is rare that I do not have at a minimum a rewarding conversation with someone. The only trouble, I am hooked on it : )

    Sandi

  21. #21
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    Very unusual. Most people either want to dress or don't. I am not sure why some one would pick crossdressing if they aren't motivated toward it. It's not like a hobby or avocation that has many tangible benefits. For example woodworking, singing, or writing, where sometimes you push yourself to keep in practice or use the output for social or financial benefit. And frankly many people find crossdressing to cause enough social isolation that they would welcome loosing interest.

    But something in you still has some desire, otherwise it wouldn't make sense to even post this question. I think Micki is on to something there, and I would add that sharing with others is a really effective motivator. Get out, and meet people, socialize. Sure easier said than done especially with the current situation.

  22. #22
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Micki in effect asked what I was going to, what form does your dressing take? A stay at home gal? Out and about, shopping and socialising?

    If it's the first then I can understand why you've fallen out of love with dressing. Many feel the same that getting dressed has no purpose other than getting dressed for the sake of it. Years ago I knew I had to get out into the wider world in order to experience what it was truly like to wear the clothes in the environment they were meant to be worn in. The rest as they say is history.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  23. #23
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    I agree with Helen
    If you have no purpose or activity to do to keep you active then why do it at all.
    I guess being trans is what makes it all work for me. I dress in womens clothes 24/7 because it seems normal for me.
    If I were CDer maybe I would tire of it eventually.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    I don't agree. I dress at home, in in motels and never venture out. I like to fully dress 3-4 times a week and the days I don't fully dress I am doing an androgynous look wearing skinny jeans and perhaps a men's shirt and heels. No bra and forms. so really I dress 6-7 days a week. Once in a while I just don't feel like it and don't dress at all. All male clothing, no heels, ho female attire at all. My wife wonders what is wrong with me those days. I have spent days not dressing, then it comes rushing back and I am at it again. I do dress at various "levels" and a wide range of clothing. Some of my outfits are extremely fetish related and some are what most any woman would wear to church, or a conservative party and anywhere in between so I do mix it up. I think that keeps it interesting. I have faux leather dresses and skirts, formal gowns, simple nice dresses, jeans and blouses, lingerie and high heels.

  25. #25
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Megan, My need to dress ebbs and flows, but never goes away. While you currently are bored with it, next month the need to dress could hit you like a sledge hammer.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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