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Thread: The best way how to reveal to your partner?

  1. #26
    Member cdkateinboston's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Di View Post
    From a GG my advice do not play games if it is a fetish then sure say that.If it is more then be honest.
    I have to echo this. I know the outcome differs for every girl here, but my partner and I had a conversation early on about the "skeletons in the closet" and I mentioned crossdressing as one. That absolutely didn't make showing her a photo of Katie dressed up, painting my nails in front of her, or moving my clothing style in the femme direction ANY easier for me, but I think it did make it easier for her. I had to be honest with how dressing was in my life, and not just for her but for me as well. Because if I had structured it around a lie, or a facsimile of the truth, I wouldn't be happy if she was accepting of that lie because I wouldnt be dressing for the reasons I want to. I'm still discovering what dressing means to me and its place in my life, but I happen to have a fully supportive and amazing partner who is going through this with me.

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member
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    I am basing this from my own personal experience, and most of it echoes many people's responses already.

    Be straight up and honest. For me, this was the scary part because I did not know how she would react. She was supportive but had questions like "are you gay ?", "are you going to transition to a woman ?", I answered all honestly. at the end, she was not happy about me hiding Wendy from her and wished I brought it up to her much sooner, other than that she has been very supportive. As well, she already had a hunch I was dressing (some of her clothes were stretched, it would take me at least 25 min to pick her up from evening courses when we only live 5 min away from the University, ...). When they say a woman's intuition is bang on, it is correct, somehow they just know.

  3. #28
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I started with a little trickery It was a very hot day wife it's not fair she could wear skirts and I had to wear pants. when we got home she gave me one of her skirts to wear. It went from there a short time later we would be buying skirts dresses shoes hose bras and panties for. Angie
    Angie

  4. #29
    Junior Member
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    Don't start with trickery. She will either see through it or she will link it back to when you do tell her. This happened to me and I've spent a number of hours trying to persuade my wife that what was initially a joke/test the waters (me CDing in the bedroom) wasn't the same as me CDing properly.

    Best advice is to be honest.

    If it's a fetish, then tell her. Ask her what hers is or if she has any fantasies.

    However, also be honest with yourself.

    Is it a fetish for you or does it go further for you? There might be fetishistic elements but there may also be other issues at play. I didn't realise why I CDd until I had therapy although I always knew it wasn't a fetish.

    As to when to tell her, only you can be the judge of that. When it feels right and you feel you can trust her with your biggest secret. For me it was when I felt the right time had come (and I was feeling super guilty for lying for such a long time) and an opportunity came along and she outright asked me.

    When the time comes, good luck!

  5. #30
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    I am sorry, the OP's question sounds to me like a request for instructions on how to manipulate a potential partner into accepting crossdressing. I think you should start by not doing that and respecting them by just being honest about who you are. Unless respect is not a requirement in your relationship, then try manipulation instead. I really don't understand how a simple word like "honesty" is a difficult concept to grasp...

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Karmen,
    the hard thing I found was understanding the cross-dressing myself. It was and is a big thing for me - but how could I explain it to someone else when I don't understand it myself.
    Now I know it is just something I do; that is part of me. I accept it. My wife accepted it before I did.
    The "best way to reveal" - everyone will give you a different answer or at least tell you how not to do it! I will advise - don't lie; don't play games; don't be passive-aggressive ("you don't understand the real me.."; don't get drunk; ...
    Take care & good luck
    luv J

  7. #32
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by confused_cathreen View Post
    I am sorry, the OP's question sounds to me like a request for instructions on how to manipulate a potential partner into accepting crossdressing. I think you should start by not doing that and respecting them by just being honest about who you are. Unless respect is not a requirement in your relationship, then try manipulation instead. I really don't understand how a simple word like "honesty" is a difficult concept to grasp...
    When people are confronted with something as enormous as coming out, sometimes they panic and think emotionally rather than rationally. Luckily the OP has us to try to help her see clearly.

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