A members request

[FAB Forum Mods]

We had a member request to ask the GGs about when we found out about our partners .
We are doing it without revealing identitys so our newest members feel free / safe to join in.
This is only meant to help and promote understanding.

GG1


1)When did you find out your partner is a crossdresser?
A little over a year ago

2)How did you find out?
We were talking on the phone, getting to know eachother- I told him some personal lifestyle choices of my own and he told me his. A few days after that we went on our first date.

3)How do you feel about how you found out?
Happy and rather honored that he trusted me enough to tell me... It's not easy to take that chance, it made me respect him even more in all honesty.

4)What should have been differently?
Nothing... I'm glad he told me before we'd even gone on our first date.

5)Is there anything you would like to tell cders that have this hidden life?
Seeing as I'm fairly new to it all myself, I'm not sure... except that I think hiding it from those you love/could potentially love.. is a mistake. Even if you end up in a DADT relationship.. at least they know who you are.

6) Do you wish this was not part of your life?
No. I love my SO, what he wears... makes no difference to me. I'm quite open minded about most peoples lifestyles.

7) How do you make this work ?
Well currently it's easy since we don't live together- not yet anyways soo he can dress however he pleases. Occasionally he dresses around me, we'll cuddle up and watch a movie.

8) What struggles do you have?
I do worry about how it may impact our relationship when we live under the same roof- if our dynamic will change much. He's told me he has no desire to transition but it still sits in the back of my mind, just a blob of worry that I'll lose Him. I also struggle with how we'll explain things to the kiddos if they find out.

9) Anything that bothers you about this being in your life?
It's crossed my mind a couple times that maybe he will end up transitioning, which if he chooses to do so I'll be supportive, however I'm not sure I'd be able to stay with him.. I would love to say I'm confident in my decision that I'd stay by his side no matter what, but I am only human. Other then that... I can't think of anything.

10) What would you like to tell cders to help them see how we feel?
I can't speak for other women, but I tend to be run by my emotions. If things had been different and my SO hadn't told me when he did... and say if he told me yesterday- over a year into our relationship... I would be hurt- SO hurt- That he didn't trust me enough to tell me about this part of him, as confusing as it may be to him I feel like it'd be even more confusing for myself.. It'd be so surprising and.. I would feel genuinely lost if he had told me now. So if you're telling your spouse, don't expect her to take the information like a champ. She'll probably be all kinds of emotional/upset and confused, and that's okay. Just like you, GGs are only human... so be patient please. Its hard for you to tell us, but it's not easy for us to have our world flipped either.