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Thread: My thoughts of why I crossdress

  1. #1
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    My thoughts of why I crossdress

    Back in time when my mother was pregnant with me, she thought I was going to be a little girl. The only clothes she purchased for the new baby were little girl clothes. As the story goes, for the first year I was always dressed as a little girl. Now move ahead several years to the time I was roughly 13 or 14 years of age. It was Halloween, I was asked to escort my little female cousin around the neighborhood to collect candies. My mother thought it would be nice to dress me up as a teenage girl. she came up with all the clothes for me including some very sexy underwear. beautiful satin panties with lace trim and a young girls lacy bra. When she had me try these on I became very aroused, much to my mothers observation, she never said anything. I also had black stockings with a garter belt. To top it off I wore a little black dress of my mothers ( she had a small frame so it fit me very nicely) She took considerable time applying my makeup. When she was done I was impressed at my transition into the female world. This was an introduction into what I would attempt in my adult life. In my memory, this was a very moving experience never to be forgotten

  2. #2
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    My early life was similar but not as extreme. My mother dressed me as a girl for a few months after I was born and she "made" me try on dresses she would sew for her nieces so she could mark the hem, etc.

    She really wanted a daughter, not a son. I suspect that's why we had occasional problems when I was growing up, and that may have something to do with why I became a crossdresser. Or maybe not. Who knows and who cares?
    Krisi

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    I never had anyone try to dress me up in girls' clothes, not even once. And the thought had never really crossed my mind, although for some crazy reason I felt a very strange urge to buy a teardrop lace petticoat and wore it a few times. I believe this kind of petticoat was more for show. It wasn't until I had a dream that I was Princess Peach that I really started getting into crossdressing.
    But my thoughts on why I crossdress are simple.... I do have a desire to be a woman, although not full-time. Crossdressing helps me accomplish this.

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    Oh, this kind of thread can go sideways so fast...

    For me, there was no external force that led me down this path, I can remember as early as five or six wanting to wear dresses and pretty things.
    The only'encouragement' I ever got was once when my mom caught me wearing my sisters panties, she replaced all my tighty-whiteys with men's bikini briefs in a variety of colors. Of course, I still stole my sisters panties but nothing was ever said.

    We are all different and I can understand how early life instances as you describe can unlock the door, but I believe we are just born this way.
    I have even done some past-life regression therapy and each and every time, I have been a happy vibrant woman in my past life, perhaps just a gender hangover?
    I am Me and Me is OK!



    Shelby

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    I can relate to the above story. My mom wanted a daughter too for my sister. But I was very boy (had all the stereotypes, etc), and she was totally cool w/that...as was I.

    However, I was aware of the initial wishes that I were a girl....honestly innocent commentary/discussion in the family. My mom would curl my hair like hers w/the rollers and the bandana (my wife laughs at this one). I was teased about the curls and my brother added to it. I would also ask my mom to give me ?eyebrows? like hers, and well...I?m guessing this is where things began.

    I always wanted to grow my hair, and was interested in all things girly, but had this innate feeling too keep it all a secret...which I did until before I was married, when I told my girlfriend and fiance? . Up until that time, I hadn?t done more than the curling my hair as a young child
    Last edited by DTelia; 04-28-2020 at 12:26 PM.

  6. #6
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    Many of us would loved to have had a mother like yours.
    Hugs, Carole

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    Nature vs nurture. Hmm.

    For me personally, I think it's more of a nurture.

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    Marcie,
    Paulie beat me to it . Being dressed at thirteen and with obvious arousel could well have set you on that road , I'm a little surprsed your mother continued dressing you when it was that obvious .

    One size doesn't fit all so for some it might well be nurture before nature . I still feel nature took the fist hand and I was born with a female trait as I had no external influence and no one dressed me up .

  9. #9
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Nobody ever dressed me in girls clothing, I did it on my own. Why? No clue.

    I am not certain these stories of mothers dressing their sons in girls clothing makes any difference. We will dress sooner or later, or not.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I remember being around 10 or 11 and my sister and step sister put makeup on me to make me look like Liza Minelli, Cabaret was popular at the time.

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    A few potential reasons and I put it down to nurture more than nature. There are some instances growing up which still resonate years later.

    That being said, if you are looking to transition then you probably argue nature rather than nurture.

  12. #12
    Girl Power! CrossKimmy's Avatar
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    For some reason, I felt drawn to women?s clothing. It was like a calling from elsewhere. I couldn?t stop it. It wasn?t brought to me in any way.

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    When I was little my mother and father dressed me in boy's clothes. Now that I'm older, I enjoy wearing girl's clothes. Figure that out.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    As I have said before it is the softness of woman's clothse. Also woman vocals alway seemed to have a better range of notes and sounds. Right now I am listening to Brigadoon. "At the Fair" and earlier I listened to "Carol Bernett". For a while I wanted to be a ballarenna and dance on my toes (on points) I even got to a point were I could dance 'on point' 1n my stocking feet. That was way befor I became the 'Hippo in a tutu'. grin
    Last edited by Leslie Mary S; 04-28-2020 at 07:46 PM.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    Remember this:
    You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
    _________________________

  15. #15
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I'm sorry, Marcie. But, your mom dressing u like a girl didn't turn u into a trans. It may have triggered something that was already inside u, tho.

    Many regular men dress up in women's things and it does NOTHING for them!
    My ex and I went to a big Halloween party dressed as the opposite sex. This was 10 years before I ever thot of trying on women's things. And, it made so little impact on me I forgot about that nite for nearly 20 years!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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    I've mentioned several times on this forum that my mother use to tell me I was suppose to be a girl. Her ideal family was mom, dad, son and daughter. My brother is fourteen months older than me. As a real little kid it irked me so badly that one time I cried that she did not love me because I was not a girl. I must have been about four years old. She swore that she would never say that again, and, she never did. She showed it in other ways. I got more than my share of whippings with a belt across the back of my legs. My brother was not immune to this abuse either. It was obvious she favored my brother. When he got a new bike I got his old one. I got his hand-me-downs. And, so on. I do not believe she had an effect on me. I guess it may be argued psychologically on the subconscious level I began trying to meet her expectations. A shrink may get into it. I don't think it is applicable as I was a rough and tumble kid who always got into trouble. Maybe I got into trouble because I wanted her attention. Who knows.

    There are many little boys who wore female infant attire and never grew up to be cross dressers. There may be a predisposition towards becoming a cross dresser, but, playing dress up would not be the cause. Perhaps, a mother dressing her son in female attire is a way to rationalize cross dressing behavior?

  17. #17
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    I recently asked my mother what girl name they had in mind with my father before I was born (no ultrasound back then so they didn't know the sex in advance). She said none, but they a spare boy name in mind. Boy, was I supposed to be a boy

  18. #18
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    I'll go with nature on this, at least for me. I had two brothers growing up. No sisters, no close female relatives or friends or anyone else that ever dressed me up. My mother never tried to dress me as a girl nor did anyone else. I just took an interest in it for no easily discernible reason. I don't spend my time trying to figure out why I crossdress I just do it and enjoy myself.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Marcie, I had three older sisters, so I know I was dressed in their clothes. As time went on, I dressed in their clothes on my own.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  20. #20
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    I grew up in a house with 4 women. Curiosity at the age of 11 or 12 got me started.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

    Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!

  21. #21
    Silver Member Kay J's Avatar
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    I stop trying to figure it out yes i felt guilty in the beginning but now i just enjoy how i am and proud of it!

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member Rayleen's Avatar
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    Marcie, it looks like my first year was also similar. she gave me pictures of me dressed in a dress. She was probably expecting a baby girl.

    Life goes on, thanks for your story.
    Wanting something is a fantasy which on a long time period clouds your mind and makes you think you need it.

    Rayleen

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    My mother made it known that I was supposed to be a girl. She did not dress me as a girl, except possibly as an infant. She told everyone that I was supposed to be a girl. I wonder if that has something to do with my dressing desire.

  24. #24
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    The science on the matter of your case is pretty clear now. It is not an either/or matter with nature and nurture. It is both. You may have been born with a predisposition, but that would not have been triggered in the first year of your life. Maybe later in year two, but not year one. Children do not develop a clear sense of gender until about 3 years old except in a few instances where it shows up in the mid to late twos.

    However, you make mention of early memories being important. That could be significant in configuring your brain to lean a bit toward the feminine side. Due to brain plasticity, your brain often, even continuously, is reconfiguring itself as a result of experiences that your brain must deal with to remain consistent. The Halloween experiences were much more likely to influence gender expression.

    Defining gender preferences is a very complex neurological process involving a great deal of adaptation of your brain to stresses and less significant influences to create a sense of self that fits the data input to the brain. But whatever it creates it also changes as a result of new influences. Reinforcement of a particular configuration enhances that configuration which may explain why escalation of gender behaviors in a particular direction occurs in some, but not all, CDers and trans people.

    With regard to this aspect of our lives, we are all different and all unique and an ever changing blend of male and female behaviors consistent with the cultural environment. But the behaviors can also change the cultural environment, so there it is a continuous back and forth exchange of information that drives your brain to produce a behavior that fits a somewhat temporary specific state of being within a more generalized shell of generalized behavior defined by social expectations. Forget about male and female brains - they don't exist. There are only brains that are constantly changing within a personally defined zone of what is considered acceptable personally and socially. That zone is initially created by genetics and then constantly modified by experience.

    If you want to find out more, read Gina Ripon's book "Gender and Our Brains" (the heavyweight book) or Daphna Joel's "Gender Mosaic - Beyond the myth of the male and female brain" (the more lightweight book). Both authors are neuroscientists and have been studying gender in the context of brain configuration for at least three decades. Daphna's book is much easier reading. But you might want to read "Neuroscience for Dummies" first to gain a general understanding of neuroscience before tackling Gina's book. It is a very complex subject. I can lead you to some other references that are useful. PM me if you wish.

  25. #25
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    Gretchen,
    Thanks again for a very infomative reply I will have to check out the books you also mentioned .

    If my memory recalls you have an engineering background , do you find you see this more as a science based situation ? It amazes me how our brains that function on chemistry and electricity can develop into such abstract thoughts and behaviour .

    I do wonder if a whole community of TGs lived together both male and female eventually their offsping would be naturally be TG ?

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