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Thread: Question :- good relationship or failed ?

  1. #1
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    Question :- good relationship or failed ?

    After replying to a thread about SOs acceptance improving dressing or not I thought it might be interesting to ask who has managed to stay in a relationship and who's has failed over CDing issues ? I've never checked on the statistics so wondered what the figures are ?

    I'm sure most know my marriage failed after 45 years , my wife couldn't live with me being TG and I couldn't live without it but we parted on fairly amicable terms now the dust is settling acceptance is improving which is great for the rest of my family .
    Last edited by Teresa; 05-02-2020 at 12:46 PM.

  2. #2
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Failed. Your 45 is VERY impressing! Couldn't even do 10 years with my ex.

    But, it had NOTHING to do with crossdressing.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
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    26 years and counting, my wife is fully accepting and supporting of me being Transgender.

    In fact she is more accepting and supporting of the whole thing than when I was "just a crossdresser".
    Last edited by Robertacd; 05-01-2020 at 12:20 PM.

  4. #4
    Member ambigendrous's Avatar
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    My wife and I just passed 49 years married this past October - she's known about my dressing for about 35 of those years. At first it was a DADT arrangement where I could lock myself in the bedroom for some "alone" time. Then when we retired 11 years ago she said it would be okay for me to dress as I like whenever I needed so now I get "comfortable" whenever I feel the need and she is accepting of it. We joke a lot about how she can't wait to take her bra off, while I can't wait to put mine on. I wear a nightgown to bed every night, unless the grandkids are spending the night and we're looking forward to the next 49 years together.
    Ambigendrous
    Wealth should not be measured by how much you have, but by how little you need - anon

  5. #5
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    My wife and I have a very good relationship, it will be married 47 years this year. It will be 26 years ago that I came out to her. Things have opened up through those years to the point that I do everything that I desire to do as far as CD'ing is concerned. I don't do the full 9 yards and dress around the house as I choose. I do mostly a half and half clothing routine, underdressing, skirt and pantyhose. I don't attempt to look feminine, I'm just a guy in a skirt. She is open and has helped a lot with shopping, etc. I have no complaints and I don't push my luck either.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
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    36 years and still going strong.
    I have been dressing for just a few years and the little lady took it kind of hard at first, but now we have our "girls nights" where we both dress and do our nails, sit a visit, and often help each other take our clothes off....

    I dress to some degree daily but don't go out of the house dressed, no plans to transition, so I believe that takes a load of stress off the relationship.
    Last edited by Pumped; 05-01-2020 at 01:32 PM.

  7. #7
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    35 years this June. She knew about my dressing from day 1. She is accepting and when we get a chance we go out as girlfriends.

  8. #8
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    My marriage failed after 27.5 years.
    There were multiple issues.
    I got bored and an attractive lady came along …
    But I now realise that the break-up was not entirely my fault.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    Both my marriages failed because neither of my wives could keep their legs closed. I'm apparently a bad judge of character.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Rogina B's Avatar
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    Teresa,Someone that wants to crossdress may have different needs from someone that identifies as being transgender.One can be tucked away neatly in the closet and the other can't because it refuses..
    It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !

  11. #11
    Banned Spammer
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    Both my exes had a hard time not sleeping with my best friends and lots of other men.

  12. #12
    Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    You need a new post this one is confusing. Is it about CD or TG? The SO reactions are totally different.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Well I guess you got me beat, I was married for 30 years when we separated.

    Came to this party late in life.

    I didn't understand the clues. They just didn't add up, when I looked at it all from a different angle, it all began to make sense.

    I didn't have this view till well after we had separated. At the time I could explain or defend something I didn't even understand.

    It still wouldn't have made a difference in the end. She could never accept me this way.

    As you know, we are the same person, just look a bit different.

  14. #14
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Been married 45 years - we are partners and support each other. She is OK with my dressing at home or outside with her. She does not want her family to know (our kids know) - yet if I decided to dress at work she would tell me it was my choics.

  15. #15
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    Teresa I started to write a novel I'll give you the short version on May 15th 43 years . Been and continues to be a roller coaster ride. All we know is that we love each other.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    First marriage failed because I left. The dressing was an issue that cropped up AFTER we had been married a while. She struggled, but appeared to accept it. Till one day, while shopping for me, she made the comment "I must be getting as sick as you - shopping for your dresses." That pretty much said it all.

    Second marriage failed because she slept around. She knew of my gender issues, and we enjoyed things together. Till the split. THEN it was suddenly all my fault because I wore dresses.

    Third - current - and last marriage... She knew up front before we got serious about each other. She set up "ground rules" of what was OK with her and what wasn't. I accepted her terms (she's worth it) and we've been together almost 20 years.

  17. #17
    Member Cynthia_0101's Avatar
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    Next year the wife and I will have been married for 20 years, but we have been together for 24. I told her about my dressing 5 months into dating and here we are still together. The actual act of dressing never once really bothered her, more like me being stuck in ping fog's that caused the most strife.
    Be Yourself, And Be Fabulous While Doing it!

  18. #18
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Been married 35 happy years, told her 2 weeks back from our honeymoon. We found some fair grounds that we can both live with and hopefully many more happy years.

  19. #19
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Married 30 years and wife has known for around 24 years and we are still going strong. X

  20. #20
    Member Megan b's Avatar
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    My marriage failed after 22 years. I'd say she mostly blamed it on the crossdressing. I would have loved her till I died but it didn't work out that way.

  21. #21
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Teresa, I have been with my wife for 14ish years. I told her about my crossdressing before we moved in together. I knew at that point in my wife I would not hide myself in an intimate relationship again. She has been very accepting and encouraging and become more so over the years.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  22. #22
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    Married 38 years this coming August.

    She's know to a degree since before we were married.

    While I've never been trapped in a DADT situation her acceptance has varied widely over the years. Now that I'm retired she is more on the accepting side.

  23. #23
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    Married 48 years. Like many I was crossdressing to some extent when we first married. I did not get my desire to fully dress until about 2000. My wife probably had some suspicion but my first confession (after she found pictures of me dressed) occurred about 2007 results in DADT until 2017 when my wife and I have another "Big Talk" and begin a more open approach to my crossdressing. I believe that my wife is accepting to a point within boundaries. I do know that being open and honest for my wife and I has been so much better that DADT.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  24. #24
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Years ago, when I would generally only frequent this section of these boards I got super frustrated with the narrative that was going around at that time. What was it? "Never come out to your spouse because if you do you guarantee that they will leave you." I did a data mine of the posts here. I put username into Excel cells, and then recorded what their spouse did upon reveal. In general that numbers were about 80-90% of all spouses at least stayed in the relationship. About 20-30% of those were in a DADT situation but their SO stayed. At the time I was not examining data from those who transitioned, only self identified CDs. What I saw is what I suspected, some SOs will leave, but most will not. Just look at the responses so far in this thread. Most of them are indicated that their SOs knows and has stayed.

    Anywho, whatevs, take it as y'all will.

    My spouse? I've transitioned. About ten years ago she said she would leave me if I ever transitioned. I told her not to worry as I would NEVER do that. lol We both became much more educated on the subject. I transitioned 2-3 years ago and as it turns out my transition most likely saved our marriage. Actually pretty much everyone I know IRL who has transitioned has stayed married.

  25. #25
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Teresa, I have been with my wife for 14ish years. I told her about my crossdressing before we moved in together. I knew at that point in my wife I would not hide myself in an intimate relationship again. She has been very accepting and encouraging and become more so over the years.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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