Question :- good relationship or failed ?

[Teresa]

After replying to a thread about SOs acceptance improving dressing or not I thought it might be interesting to ask who has managed to stay in a relationship and who's has failed over CDing issues ? I've never checked on the statistics so wondered what the figures are ?

I'm sure most know my marriage failed after 45 years , my wife couldn't live with me being TG and I couldn't live without it but we parted on fairly amicable terms now the dust is settling acceptance is improving which is great for the rest of my family .

[docrobbysherry]

Failed. Your 45 is VERY impressing! Couldn't even do 10 years with my ex.

But, it had NOTHING to do with crossdressing.

[DMichele]

Teresa,
I revealed my desire to wear women's clothing before we got married. Our marriage lasted just short of 30 years, had many good times and many not so good times. My ex filed for a divorce, which caught me by surprise. We lived under the same roof for 6-8 months until the divorce was final.
Looking back, we were opposites who were attracted to each other, and although my ex blamed my crossdressing for the divorce there were multiple reasons that contributed to our divorce.

[Robertacd]

26 years and counting, my wife is fully accepting and supporting of me being Transgender.

In fact she is more accepting and supporting of the whole thing than when I was "just a crossdresser".

[ambigendrous]

My wife and I just passed 49 years married this past October - she's known about my dressing for about 35 of those years. At first it was a DADT arrangement where I could lock myself in the bedroom for some "alone" time. Then when we retired 11 years ago she said it would be okay for me to dress as I like whenever I needed so now I get "comfortable" whenever I feel the need and she is accepting of it. We joke a lot about how she can't wait to take her bra off, while I can't wait to put mine on. I wear a nightgown to bed every night, unless the grandkids are spending the night and we're looking forward to the next 49 years together.

[ShelbyDawn]

Not a good person to ask, my marriage was a dumpster fire on steroids from day one, the abuse I endured was the reason I found dressing again after over twenty years and while it had nothing to do with the real reasons, oh so many reasons, we got divorced, she made sure it was prominently noted in the divorce decree so there was an official record of my 'depravity.'

The irony was how upset she was when she lost friends "due to my dressing" when she was the one going around telling everyone. I'm sure it had nothing to do with a bitter witch dumping her personal garbage all over them every chance she got, but I'm over it now, can't you tell..

[Gillian Gigs]

My wife and I have a very good relationship, it will be married 47 years this year. It will be 26 years ago that I came out to her. Things have opened up through those years to the point that I do everything that I desire to do as far as CD'ing is concerned. I don't do the full 9 yards and dress around the house as I choose. I do mostly a half and half clothing routine, underdressing, skirt and pantyhose. I don't attempt to look feminine, I'm just a guy in a skirt. She is open and has helped a lot with shopping, etc. I have no complaints and I don't push my luck either.

[Pumped]

36 years and still going strong.
I have been dressing for just a few years and the little lady took it kind of hard at first, but now we have our "girls nights" where we both dress and do our nails, sit a visit, and often help each other take our clothes off....

I dress to some degree daily but don't go out of the house dressed, no plans to transition, so I believe that takes a load of stress off the relationship.

[Dawn P]

35 years this June. She knew about my dressing from day 1. She is accepting and when we get a chance we go out as girlfriends.

[GaleWarning]

My marriage failed after 27.5 years.
There were multiple issues.
I got bored and an attractive lady came along …
But I now realise that the break-up was not entirely my fault.

[Majella St Gerard]

Both my marriages failed because neither of my wives could keep their legs closed. I'm apparently a bad judge of character.

[Rogina B]

Teresa,Someone that wants to crossdress may have different needs from someone that identifies as being transgender.One can be tucked away neatly in the closet and the other can't because it refuses..

[Tracii G]

Both my exes had a hard time not sleeping with my best friends and lots of other men.

[Aka_Donna]

You need a new post this one is confusing. Is it about CD or TG? The SO reactions are totally different.

[Teresa]

SirDonna ,
The question is simple enough , has your marriage survived CDing /Tg issues or failed through them . Obviuosly all wives/partners are different but that point isn't relevant to the question .

Nadine,
I didn't want to be too specific , whatever label is used it is a forum for all those with TG or CDing issues , so my question was a basic one of has your marriage /partnership continued or failed through these issues . I wasn't sure if I would get a TS response or not I guess to be sure the question may have to be asked in the TS section . I do appreciate your input many thanks .

[Asew]

My wife is fairly accepting most of the time but my CDing is a strain among other strains on our relationship.

[Teresa]

I would like to thank you all for taking the trouble to reply to the question .

I've just had a quick check on the replies so far and I make 18 have intact marriages, 10 have failed , I've not counted multiple divorces which if I did would almost even the figures up .

I hope more will take take the trouble to add to the figures , I'm not concerned about which label you use whether it be CDer, TG or TS .

[Maid_Marion]

My wife knew before I was married because I told her. She bought up things like wearing panties and growing my hair out after I started wearing VS PJs to bed. But, she had health issues and I didn't have much time to explore my feminine side before she passed. She was conflicted about how good I look in women's clothes, as I have an hourglass figure. On one hand I look hot. On the other hand it would bring up issues that she had with her body. So much so that she would wait outside while I went into VS.

Marion

[Jean 103]

Well I guess you got me beat, I was married for 30 years when we separated.

Came to this party late in life.

I didn't understand the clues. They just didn't add up, when I looked at it all from a different angle, it all began to make sense.

I didn't have this view till well after we had separated. At the time I could explain or defend something I didn't even understand.

It still wouldn't have made a difference in the end. She could never accept me this way.

As you know, we are the same person, just look a bit different.

[bridget thronton]

Been married 45 years - we are partners and support each other. She is OK with my dressing at home or outside with her. She does not want her family to know (our kids know) - yet if I decided to dress at work she would tell me it was my choics.

[Connie D50]

Teresa I started to write a novel I'll give you the short version on May 15th 43 years . Been and continues to be a roller coaster ride. All we know is that we love each other.

[Cynthia_0101]

Next year the wife and I will have been married for 20 years, but we have been together for 24. I told her about my dressing 5 months into dating and here we are still together. The actual act of dressing never once really bothered her, more like me being stuck in ping fog's that caused the most strife.

[Maria 60]

Been married 35 happy years, told her 2 weeks back from our honeymoon. We found some fair grounds that we can both live with and hopefully many more happy years.

[Vicky_Scot]

Married 30 years and wife has known for around 24 years and we are still going strong. X

[SaraLin]

First marriage failed because I left. The dressing was an issue that cropped up AFTER we had been married a while. She struggled, but appeared to accept it. Till one day, while shopping for me, she made the comment "I must be getting as sick as you - shopping for your dresses." That pretty much said it all.

Second marriage failed because she slept around. She knew of my gender issues, and we enjoyed things together. Till the split. THEN it was suddenly all my fault because I wore dresses.

Third - current - and last marriage... She knew up front before we got serious about each other. She set up "ground rules" of what was OK with her and what wasn't. I accepted her terms (she's worth it) and we've been together almost 20 years.