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Thread: Country House Hotel Weekend

  1. #1
    Member Helena's Avatar
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    Country House Hotel Weekend

    Two years ago I bought my wonderful partner Maureen a voucher for a stay at a Country House Hotel, Swinton Park near Ripon. She was more than happy for Helena to accompany her, which was a great opportunity to spend a couple of days dressed.

    We swept up the drive, through their deer park to reception, where we hit a small hiccup. The voucher company account was in my male name and I hadn?t thought to contact the hotel and alter it, so all their systems worked on the booking name not the room numberlike many larger hotels, which effectively gave the game away straightway. We agreed to go and freshen up then return to the Drawing room for afternoon tea. The room is amazing, like a small apartment.
    On our return there were a couple of women chatting over their tea, who didn?t really take any notice of us, but no staff so I wandered through to reception where two waiters seemed to be enjoying a joke with the receptionist. Having placed our order I returned to sit with Maureen in sumptuous surroundings (think Downton Abbey). Whilst enjoying our teas another couple come in, and settle on one of the deep sofas and again they take no notice.

    Another major feature of the Hotel is a Spa complex, something I had wanted to experience for a long time. However it was making me very nervous and I was unsure whether to wear wig, and risk ruining it, or not and neither did I have any waterproof makeup. Maureen lent me a swim dress and we set off to the Spa which was in another building. Without my wig I was feeling rather exposed. On reaching reception I was convinced we would hit the same problem as earlier, but thankfully the young man only had a surname.

    I got a shock as we entered the ladies changing room, directly in front of us was a woman only half dressed stood in front of her locker chatting. I looked away and suddenly felt like an interloper who really shouldn?t be there, convinced I would be exposed immediately, humiliated and we would both be thrown out of the Hotel. Nothing occurred and Maureen ushered me into a curtained cubicle.

    Once changed, and without many people about we wended our way through the corridors to the brightly lit indoor pool, where a few swimmers were plying back and forth and the Jacuzzi, outside in the gathering dusk. I opted for the latter as it easier to hide. After a little while we are joined by a young couple who stayed for a little while before going to over to the loungers.

    We now need to go and get ready for dinner so we head to the showers. There are one or two women about but with a towel to hide behind a little we manage to get into our cubicles without being challenged. Same again getting to the changing area. Maureen dresses outside my curtained area so that nobody accidentally comes in. There is some minor problem when we return to the reception area which Maureen sorts whilst I loiter in the lobby looking the merchandise. Never has posh soap been so interesting.

    We return to the room to dress for dinner then walk to the bistro, in yet another building and way too modern. It is busy and we are shown to a small table in the centre of the room. Having taken Maureens order our young waitress turns to me and says ?And for you sir?? I choose without reacting and she heads off. A gentleman takes our wine choice but when he brings our bottle I get the impression it isn?t his regular job. The meal is lovely but we don?t see much of our original waitress.

    As we our leaving our ?wine waiter? holds open the door and but asks if he can have a private word. He introduced himself as one of the senior managers and explained that our waitress had read the room list and it was just reflex to say sir, but had instantly realised and had been very embarrassed. We both told him it was absolutely fine and asked him to reassure the waitress that we weren?t offended. Then he apologised for the behaviour of the staff in the main hotel, who had indeed been laughing at me, and said they had been spoken to. We told him we appreciated him talking to us. It was after all my own fault, I could easily have mitigated the situation.

    The following morning we enjoy breakfast in the hotel dining room, much more in keeping, linen table cloths, silverware and waiting staff in black and white. We are treated as two ladies and none of the other guests pay us any attention.
    The jovial staff member dealing with our bill is very nattily dressed in tweed. I was secretly hoping the hotel might have made a little gesture or adjustment but they hadn?t. Despite those very minor items we had a lovely couple of days. Quite a major achievement for me but I am not sure I felt completely elated, but only achievable thanks to the love, support fierce protectiveness of my wonderful SO.

  2. #2
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    Thanks for sharing this Helena. I feel you handled everything well.

  3. #3
    Seasoned Member Rhonda Darling's Avatar
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    Congratulations

    Helena:

    A successful weekend indeed. Good for the hotel management coming to you and apologizing. Hopefully they took this as a teaching opportunity and their operations will be the better for it in the future. I once wrote to the Marriott hotel main office to ask whether I would be welcome presenting in my femme mode. I not only heard back positively from a senior executive for diversity, I also received a warm and welcoming letter from Bill Marriott himself. The payoff when we politely assert ourselves is very affirming.

    I call your experience a successful weekend because you got to experience it as your true self with only minor distractions. Now do it again, once this CV19 business recedes into oblivion.

    Best,
    Rhonda
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Be all the woman that you can be!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    . . . and now, On With The Show!

  4. #4
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Helena,

    I guess a little nerve racking and exhilarating at the same time. Maureen is a gem that's for sure.

    I wrote a few years ago now about going out to eat enfemme one night and ended up in a Travelodge or similar. Nothing too flash but the food is okay. I'm sure throughout the course of the evening I got attended to by every member of the waiting staff. I guess it was a case of, "Go see the CD'er" on table 7". All were polite and I was treated as any other customer and as far as I recall not "sir'ed" at any point.

    These things go with the turf and it's best to roll with it unless you feel someone is being just deliberately plain rude in which case a word with the manager will usually sort that out. Thankfully I've never had to do that, yet.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  5. #5
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    Helena,
    I feel it's wonderful you shared this adventure with us and so good to have such a supportive partner in Maureen .

    I've yet to experience the spa/ swimming situation , I was trying to visualise how I would have dealt with it , the wig is the problem but now I have a spare one in the same style so probably would have stuck with that , makeup isn't so much of a problem and I do have a swimsuit . One question , did you actually go for a swim or just use the jacuzzi ?

    I'll have to catch the whole story when we finally get to meet again , I hope you are both well .

  6. #6
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Helena, I don't know that I could have entered a women's dressing room, you are gutsier than me. I'm glad the manager took care of unruly staff.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  7. #7
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    What a lovely weekend! And kudos to your wife for helping negotiate those trickier moments.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  8. #8
    Member Helena's Avatar
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    Jaclyn - Thank you. I am generally quite relaxed and we couldn't have asked for more from the managers response, we were impressed.

    Rhonda, that is lovely that a large corporation should take the trouble to respond. I was far more concerned over our young waitresses embarrassment than her tiny slip. We went to another in February which I will have to write up.

    Teresa - finally got round to writing it but shocked how long ago it was. She is wonderful. We only used the hot tub, unfortunately time was against as we had to get ready for dinner. Would have been OK as there weren't many people about.

    Helen - indeed. We had one restaurant where a lot of passing staff asked if we were OK, may just have been good customer service.

    Always - Only because Maureen was looking out for me, otherwise probably too nervous.

    Kim - it was. Absolutely. I was moved when later she told me she was guarding me in the changing room.

  9. #9
    Junior Member JenniferWhenCD's Avatar
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    Hi Helena, loved every bit of your story! Although you appear to have had some surprising moments, you certainly handled them with grace and compassion. I particularly found your comments on feeling like an "interloper" insightful. I use women's restrooms when dressed, and once things open again will be joining a health club as a women. Reading your response to your locker room experience gives me an insight into what I might feel and how my doubts of belonging might express themselves.

    Mostly, however, I appreciate your getting out and being yourself. As others have mentioned, just being there and participating in the activities creates paths for others to follow. The staff, and probably some of the guests, will be more accepting having seen you out enjoying life as who you are in the moment. You and Maureen are clearly strong, and you make it easier for others, who might not be as strong, to venture forth and enjoy their life.

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