Hanging up the heels maybe...

[Rachel05]

Tough to be going through what you are going through that is for sure, I had two very serious health issues within a very short time frame, I kept all my clothes and I am so glad I did

The thing is, if your wife knows, then you don't have to hide them and if you keep them you have a choice to dress or not, if you get rid, you have no choice and actually mine were just as important to me during my illnesses as they ever were, somedays it was just knowing that they were there that brought a smile to my face and made me feel good inside

Stay strong, keep positive and work though it, I am still here and dressing more than ever

Good luck and best wishes

[skirt_guy]

The doctors are doing great things to beat cancer these days. My wife just finished treatment for an aggressive form of lymphoma and is well on the road to recovery. Along the way she relied on doing some simple things she enjoys to keep her spirits up. I spent a lot of time dressed because that helped me. Bottom line is don’t assume anything and keep doing whatever you can to keep your spirits and motivation up. Good luck!

[Kandi Robbins]

Life has a way for overriding our feelings. God bless you and let's pray you get well. You have an angel for a wife and that makes you a very lucky woman! Cling to that.

[JennniferMcC]

Sorry to hear of your health problems. I suppose there is no wrong answer here. Do what you feel is best. But do take care of yourself first of all. However, if you were a golfer would you throw away your clubs? Or a fisherman your tackle box? Makes as much sense as purging it seems to me. I have noticed I seldom make good, rational decisions when I'm stressed. Best of luck. I promise you'll be in my prayers.
-Jen

[Maria 60]

Lara it's always sad to hear this, I can imagine that your heart isn't into it how can it. Maybe just do whatever your up to doing. We are reaching a age that we have challenges ahead. Hopefully it will work out and try not to leave us in the dark. The good part is your wife sounds very caring and supportive.

[Sallee]

Just good wishes for you and a speedy recover. Like everyone is saying medical miricles and great treatments happen all the time. May one of those come your way. I had cancer and I fully recovered and now get checked every year 10 yrs out now and still living and doing well. So keep up the positive thoughts and prayers. I am sure everyone here is sending positive vibrations your way. Keep doing what makes you happy and keep having a positive outlook

[Marianne S]

I'm very sorry indeed, Lara, to hear of your diagnosis. I'm wondering if the nasty illness you had around Christmas was related to the cancer; but whether it was or not, it may have served a purpose in alerting you to the reality that something was wrong in time to have options for treatment.

I understand you're not in good physical shape right now and can't go out dressed, which you've enjoyed so much in the past. Just the same, I'm not sure what you mean by "hanging up your heels for good." Above all, I hope you're not talking about throwing anything out because you're afraid you'll never be able to enjoy wearing it any more! Please forgive me if I've misunderstood you on that point. But exactly the same thought occurred to me that Jennnifer McC already expressed. (She "beat me to it"; congratulations, Jennnifer!) I couldn't imagine an avid golfer, say, throwing away his favorite clubs just because he knew he'd never hit that screaming drive down the fairway any more. Even if he knew for certain he was about to die, which you don't; not at all! You do have a decent shot at survival. (Why is golf so symbolic of passionate attachment to a pastime? Well, never mind...) You could well be going out dressed again before the springtime of next year--that nice time before it gets too hot here in Arizona.

Why give up dressing? I wonder: could there be an unspoken issue here about mortality? I don't know how you place yourself on the "gender spectrum," but some of our members here of course are far closer to the "feminine side," and it goes without saying that those who are "trans" identify as women, wish to live as women--and when the "Great Call" comes, to die as women, be buried as women, and remembered as women. Yet for many others like myself, and presumably you too, that's not the case. I love dressing and have a "feminine side," yes. But I'm also comfortable with and enjoy my masculine side--as a husband among other things, as you are (though I'm a widower now), as a man and as a father. When my time comes I shall be buried and remembered as a man, not as a woman--though anyone who's loved me is welcome to remember "Marianne."

Again, I apologize if I'm missing the point here. But if you happen to be thinking "Gee, I might be going to die soon; it's time to 'get serious,' put my affairs in order, and decide once and for all which sex I belong to in my Last Will and Testament"--well, you don't have to think that way. There's no reason why you can't continue to enjoy your own feminine side--if you want to, that is--for as long as you live.

I'm happy to hear you have an accepting and supportive wife. I'm sure she's a treasure to you, as my own late wife was to me. Even if "going out" is not practical for you (especially in these days of the CoronaViper), at least you have the freedom to dress openly at home, if it's a comfort to you.

As it happens, I'm going through a health crisis of my own at the moment, with an uncertain outcome. Mine isn't lethal, but it does concern my vision, which is serious. I won't bother you with my problems, except to say that in times of stress, the enjoyment of dressing can be both a comfort and a relief. That's important to you too when you're battling cancer. Stress weakens the immune system we need to fight disease, and in any fight it's crucial to combat depression and keep morale up with activities we enjoy. If dressing does this for you, is enjoyable, and helps to relieve stress, then this is no time to "hang up your heels," right when you need them the most. Quite the reverse!

Nevertheless, it's all up to you to do whatever you feel like doing (or not doing) from one moment to another. Battling cancer is a rollercoaster ride of emotions, often with no relief in sight. I wish you the very best, and I hope you triumph.

[RachelB.]

As a cancer survivor myself I understand the thoughts you are describing. When going through the testing and evaluation phase I felt like purging and jsut giving up on life. After all the tests were complete and a treatment plan prepared I went to the radiation clinic and meet the wonderful staff. They became friends ovet the next few months. I completed my treatments and got to ring the "bell". The staff and other patients were good to pick me up when I was down. I found myself watching the other patients and offering encouragement when I could. I'm two years cancer free and emjoying life as best I can. Strong faith and a lot of new friends got me through. PM me if you need someone to talk about it with or just a shoulder to cry on.

[Lara A]

Lots of great advice and it is heartening to hear of the many success stories around this disease. I am still behind the curve just now since I do not really know what is going on fully, and once I do, and treatment options become apparent, I think I shall feel better. It is just that the average prognosis for what I have is not too great, as I keep reading, but then I realize this prognosis is not mandatory! I have never been a conformist, and I do not plan to begin being one now I will be looking at alternative treatments also if what is on offer is not appealing, and we shall see what happens.
As for dressing, I will not be purging. As has been pointed out, I have no reason to really, and if I feel like I want to dress, I can. Right now tho I am ambivalent. That will likely change. My wife and I were planning a girls night out together before this lockdown, so hopefully one day we might manage to do that

Thank you all for your support, it mans much! Lara xxx

[Angie G]

Save everything when you get past this you can decide what your going to do. our prayers are with you Lara.
Angie

[BiancaEstrella]

Wishing you the best in your fight for improved health! F*** cancer!