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Thread: Crossdressing and GG Relatability

  1. #26
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    @Teresa,

    I have gay male friends but I don't feel any safer or trust them differently than any other friends.

    It all comes down to compatible personalities, not gender, CD, or sexual orientation.

  2. #27
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    Char ,
    Thanks for that , it was something I'd seen a GG comment on here on the forum , so I asked the question .

  3. #28
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Elaina, your second post is most significant in my mind. You say, "However, they tell me that they can relate to me better than any men that they have known, and that I am able to "hang with the girls" because I show empathy and compassion. As a result, they often have conversations with me that they say they don't have with the men in their lives."

    Your identity is linked to and derived from your social mind which regulates your behavior. In other words, at least when associating with women, you turn on your more feminine skills to interact with them in a way that is socially acceptable. So, at those times they sense, in reacting to you, that you are more like them than like most of the men they interact with. Therefore the interaction becomes more female-like.

    That is the very essence of gender identity. Our gender identities are not linked to our sex as evidenced by the way the genitals are configured. That has virtually nothing to do with whether you are male or female like in identity. Our brains communicate with each other by linking through our sensory channels that feed information to our social brain and our social brain utilizes whatever neural networks that are appropriate to properly react in a fashion that creates a comfortable communication with another person that your brain has quickly read and developed a presumptive picture of the way that person is. From there on it is simply adaptive communication as you learn and sense more about the person you are communicating with.

    Many women can very comfortably communicate with men that are weak in feminine gender skills because that woman's brain is configured to allow for that kind of communication. Most likely they have had to do a lot of communicating with those kinds of men and their brain has developed, through brain plasticity, the proper circuitry to allow them to interact in that way. One would say that such women have a male-like gender identity they can utilize when they have to but they also have a female-like gender identity that they turn to when communicating with women. Or perhaps they have the male-like identity as a dominant identity and are less adept at female communication. It all depends on how our brains have configured themselves consistent with the experiences the person has had.

    So your gender identity is a part of your sense of self which guides everything you do. But that identity and your sense of self which also defines the properties of your personality is always changing through brain plasticity. The brain is constantly rewiring itself to fit together many method of interaction with others and the changes in the brain come from new information you learn and new experiences you have. That is the most marvelous property of the brain - its ability to mold itself through constantly rewiring things to gain new talents and perceptions and incorporate those things into future interaction with the environment the creature lives in. It is above and beyond the world of instinct which is pretty inflexible because that contains the basic tools we need to survive.

  4. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by DianeT View Post
    Hi Elaina, I suppose (and that's a guess from a guy like me who doesn't go out dressed so maybe a pinch of salt there) that crossdressers in female mode meeting with GGs are less keen to hit on them for one thing, and that fact alone changes the type of relation you can have.
    Likewise, the vast majority of GGs don't want to be hit on by men in dresses. Unfortunately for guys like me.

  5. #30
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    I expect that I will get skewered for my view, but I have seen enough on this forum to be convinced of it's accuracy...

    Most of the self-identified crossdressers here will readily point out that they are "still men", regardless of their occasionally non-gender-normative behavior. At the same time, many will relate how "...wonderful it is to feel like a woman..." I am sorry, but that's not possible. They know what it feels like to be a man wearing women's clothes (cosmetics, etc.). That's it. I have never heard a GG remark about how giddy they get when putting on their underwear (girls and the "first bra" event being the notable exception). Mind you, I am absolutely not judging. If it makes a guy feel good to crossdress, that's great, but let's be real about this - for many, it's all about that feeling and has nothing to do with identity.

    All that said, I also recognize that there is a spectrum of gender identity. Not every genetic male identifies exclusively as such. For them, the clothes have much less importance.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  6. #31
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    I mostly agree with you Kelly. My wife is the epitome of femininity. She has a professional job that requires that requires on occasion dresses and skirts and pantyhose. In 8 weeks of lockdown, I have never heard her say she needs to put on a dress or skirt. The only time she has worn pantyhose is when I asked her. No makeup. No bra. No heels. Some lingerie

    Most CDs here have worn more dresses than my wife in the last 8 weeks. I've worn pantyhose more than she has. Pretty sure my wife still feels like a woman.

    Some cds attach a lot more weight to clothes than gg do.

  7. #32
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    Hi Elaina , Welcome to our forum, When you are here You are home. >Orchid .oooo.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  8. #33
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Do you all have similar experiences?
    I don't really remember. I haven't had much contact with anyone since the first week of March!
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  9. #34
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by char GG View Post
    It doesn't matter what they are wearing.
    I'm sure you already know this, but there are studies out there which show that people, in general, can & *do* view & treat people differently, depending on how the other person is dressed.

    Man in a suit & tie? Woman dressed provocatively? Somebody wearing old ratty clothes? Etc., etc.


    Why should it be any different for men who wear women's stuff?


    And as long as we're talking about personal experiences? Yes, I've been treated differently.

    So that negates yours.

  10. #35
    GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    Also some cd-ers and some trans don't realize that some women are really open and friendly and complimentary to you because they feel like they should . I saw this with my SO who really floated in between genders, beautiful guy/girl absolutely . When he was dressed more femme or COMPLETELY femme, women would bend over backwards to make him feel comfortable. Like surely this poor person has had such a hard time , we need to make sure he/she knows she looks just fine , s/he is so brave we need to make sure he knows this , we must make him/her feel like s/he is one of us , no judgement here ! etc, etc , etc .
    S/he used to say some of the same things OP and some posters are saying also and I had to tell him , these ladies are doing this for a reason but its not for the reasons you think .

    One approached us once and asked him if "it hurt" . We did not know this lady at all . He asked- what hurts ?? She said , Being like that . I though oh good grief . S/he laughed of course and said nothing hurt but I told him see some of these folks think this is some kind of affliction .

    I also agree with Aunt Kelly's post , the only thing I cared about with my first bra was to make sure I had one with a pink rose at the center and one with a blue one if I had to have one at all .
    IG : Knightress Oxide

  11. #36
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Like I said recently, wearing women's clothes makes me relate to women like eating pizza makes me relate to Italians. To think otherwise is absurd.

  12. #37
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    When I'm not dressed up the GGs I meet don't even know I'm a CD, except for the SA's I encounter.

    When interacting with GGs when I am dressed as a woman, it's a whole new world. I could fill this page with experiences.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

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