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Thread: new here, looking for beginers advice and friends

  1. #1
    New Member alexa_cd's Avatar
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    new here, looking for beginers advice and friends

    Hello all,

    I am Alexa, I have been privately dressing on and off since I was 14 and I am now 32. I have decided that I want to go a step further in my life as Alexa and possibly book a holiday where I can spend some time publicly dressed is this a good idea? do you have any recomendations of places in the UK that would be best to visit?

    Before I do this I will need to learn to do make up correctly so again wondering if anyone could give advice or point me in the right direction for both products and techniques?

    Thank you all so much in advance and I look forward to talking to you all soon! X

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    Go on you tube there are lots of videos on how to do make up.
    I will say doing make up properly takes time and lots of practice.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Makeup is not a quick learn that?s for sure. It?s a lot of trial and error, and finding out what works best for you. Along those lines, it?s difficult to recommend many specific products.

    In general, your best bet for learning makeup without someone there to teach you, is YouTube videos. I would recommend area specific videos so you?re not overwhelmed and you can perfect one step at a time. Start with how to apply foundation, then move on to contouring, brows, beard cover, shadow, lashes, etc, one at a time.

    I can also give you a general product recommendation: never buy your makeup at a drug/grocery type store. No Walmart, no target. The stuff you get there is generally junk. If you have an Ulta or Sephora near you, that?s your best bet. The average price of products will be higher, but the cheapest stuff you can get there is about the equivalent of the absolute best you can hope to find in a drug store. There are also very helpful staff at both locations (though I find Ulta slightly friendlier) who will be happy to help you find the proper products for you, though it?s best to have a general idea of what you need. If you walk in there and just say ?help!? They might sell you some stuff that you don?t need, or miss things that you do as they are not specialists in gender transformation.

    If you have the money and don?t mind splurging a little bit, tell the SA that you?re willing to spend on ?prestige? brand makeup. If money is tight, tell them you?d like to stick to the house brand as much as possible. (Ulta?s house brand is not bad at all. I?m not familiar with Sephora?s or if they have one.

    If you want a more comprehensive guide, drop me a message and I?ll try to dig out this long guide I wrote out for one of the girls here a while ago. Good luck.

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    Alexa,
    I would suggest you start by finding a social group where you can practice your skills , heading off into the RW and isolating yourself in a holiday maybe a step too far .

    I picked a wet/ cold Monday morning when I ventured into Boots to have my skin colour checked but it was the best thing I ever did . OK I was in male mode and there were shoppers passing by but I was shown how to apply the products and walked out with confidence knowing the makeup was suited to me . Make overs can be expensive and often go OTT , just take a good look round at GGs and see how much or little most of them wear .

  5. #5
    New Member alexa_cd's Avatar
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    Thank you Micki, I dont know those stores, not sure if we have them here in Scotland but will look into it a bit more. Im also not sure about going to a store locally anyway, would maybe need to wait until im out of town before going to shop and asking someone there, maybe try that if I go on my femme holiday lol

    I have looked on youtube before but have found it abit overwhelming but you are right i have only watched full makeovers never step by step so will look into that.

    Dont worry about comprehensive guide if its not to hand, you have gave me some great pointers already. Thank you X

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Thank you Teresa,
    I know what you mean but going away feels like best option for me as I am not out and dont feel confident enough to tell family and friends and want to experience some time dressed to see how I feel after that and hopefully can slowly build from there. I like the idea of a social group but where would I start in trying to find a soical group? I am hoping to make some friends here so maybe will be some local that would like to chat and meet up sometime, that would be perfect
    Thaks again x

  6. #6
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Alexa, If have gone t a makeup artist for lessons. Other than that it's just practice, practice practice....
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  7. #7
    New Member alexa_cd's Avatar
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    Thanks for replying Jamie, Did you go to a store for that or was it a private appointment?

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    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Alexa,

    Okay, Cd'ing holidays, your talking to an old hand. It's how I started with getting out and about. I'd rent an isolated holiday cottage for a week, somewhere I could come and go fairly much unseen. Some were more isolated that others but that was good as it helped build my confidence. Over the course of probably 3 holidays I ventured out firstly finding quiet places to walk, the more I did that the more I began to walk in places where others would be about in modest numbers. Visits to cash points, drive through fast food, these sorts of things build confidence.

    Then there was a moment of inspiration. I found a social group that met in the area where I was staying, contacted the secretary by email to ask if it was ok for me to attend, yes, and so I put on a dress and heels, did my makeup and off I went. Warmly welcomed, I chatted all evening to those there, and this is something I written about many times, I got chatting to one gal in particular. She didn't come close to passing but told me she was staying overnight in the hotel and was going shopping enfemme the next day. It was at that moment I thought if she can, I can, and did but that's for another post.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    I would suggest you start by finding a social group where you can practice your skills , heading off into the RW and isolating yourself in a holiday maybe a step too far .
    So I agree with Teresa on the first part but we'll have to agree to disagree on the second.

    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    I picked a wet/ cold Monday morning when I ventured into Boots to have my skin colour checked but it was the best thing I ever did . OK I was in male mode and there were shoppers passing by but I was shown how to apply the products and walked out with confidence knowing the makeup was suited to me . Make overs can be expensive and often go OTT , just take a good look round at GGs and see how much or little most of them wear .
    The confidence I gained from that first shopping trip allowed me to also get a foundation match in Boots but I was enfemme. Initially nerve racking but like Teresa the best things I ever did. Cost me a few quid in products but the results elevated by appearance.

    One more thing, you'll read discussions about passing Vs blending. I'll never truly pass but by dressing as a woman of my age and getting the mannerisms right I can walk around the shops and yes some will read me but most won't give me a second look. I blend into the crowd, hide in plain sight.

    I now eat in pubs and restaurants, go to the cinema, shop, use public transport, just go about my daily business. So yes I'd say a holiday is a good way to start.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  9. #9
    New Member alexa_cd's Avatar
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    Thank you Helen, When I was younger and still stayed with my parents I would occasionally book into a hotel and spend the day and evening dressed but would never venture out of the room so this is very much now about being seen I hadnt even considered the idea of somewhere quiet when thinking about this but will very much consider it now. My thinking so far had been that I would go somewhere very busy with a active LGBT scene and just try to blend in and find somewhere I could comfortably be dressed and have a drink.
    I have seen a lot of chat on here already about passing vs blending and it has made me feel much more confident about going out, I dont think I could ever pass but blending is fine by me and now I know so many more like yourself are the same and that is really pleasing and a relief for me to hear for that alone I am already happy I took the step to join this site today. Thanks again Helen X

  10. #10
    Senior Member JocelynJames's Avatar
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    Hi and welcome Alexa. On the makeup topic, it?s a rabbit hole I?m still in after 8 years. All I can say is at some point(hopefully sooner than later) you have to be ok so you can go out( that being your current motivation). Good luck and have fun!
    If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss

  11. #11
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Hi, Alexa! I use MAC makeup again it is not cheap like drug store brands but is a little cheaper than some of the other expensive brands! You tube videos and practice, practice, practice! You also have to find what is right for you! My wife wore very little makeup, maybe some lipstick rarely some eye shadow! Often less is more! My "look" is with just concealer, powder and lipstick! It works for me! It is all that is on my avatar! Getting a make over usually involves buying some of their product but the instructions are often worth it! Best wishes on your holiday! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  12. #12
    New Member alexa_cd's Avatar
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    Thank you Jocelyn thanks I have wore make up before and thought it looked ok but really need to get better if im to start going out. You look great in you pic so what you have learned in those 8 years is obvs working

    Also Thank you Lana Mae you also look fantastic and will definetly keep less is more in mind when I try learn to perfect my skills I do agree when I fancy a women it is always the ones with less make up and a more natural look! x

  13. #13
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Hi Alexa,
    my comment about make up, as others had said, is trial and error but before you have to acquaintance yourself with the different products, skin color, type (dry etc.), if your beard is abundant and dark you need some good procedures regarding shaving before even think on make up. In my case what works great is to use first a moisturizer cream, kind of liquid then add the shaving foam. Be sure to shave in all directions regarding the grain how hair grows (I'm using a concept on wood, grain, that tell in witch direction wood grows). so first to the direction it grows and then against. In some areas of the face it grows in all directions so you need to repeat. My skin is very sensitive and I used to get cuts but since I use the shaver Harris, those are less and less frequent.

    After a good shape you need again moisturizer cream again but now a more thick cream. It's important to cover or conceal the dark shade of the beard. As it's a blue,grey color we must use the opposite color so an intense orange or red. I let this set or dry a bit and then you can use foundation or powders.


    Another important thing is to try a easy light make up, not a too red lipstick. There are some last long lipstick but you will need a remover when removing the make up. I don't wear mascara or fake eyelashes, the secret is just a good eyeliner. A thin line under the eye but on top of the lash is more than enough. Don't forget some blush, I use just a red lipstick and blend it on the chicks.
    I don't know how your eyebrows are but men generally have abundant and that's the first thing to pop up to say you're a man so try to make them a bit thinner and remove, pluck the excess of hair around the brow, you may be will get addict to that, so be careful, hair always grow back.

    after any make up I wear a translucent powder and after everything is done a setting spray that will help you to keep the make up in place and no easily stain your clothes.

    One last thing about make up, you get what you pay. Cheap make up products will give you poor results.

    It's important that the products as foundation, powders be match to your skin color and just a professional can do that. They do it for free in stores as Ulta beauty, but they will try to sell you the most expensive products they have.

    The technique to apply make is infinite, crossdressers on youtube can teach you but you will see "real" women, they have years doing it so don't feel discourage and try to see the most you can so you can get something for one and something different for other to finally find your own way that will not be my way or someone else's way but yours.

    Don't feel discourage if your make up is not great because for many it took years.
    I'm full time a trans woman and the less make up the best, so I can make up in 10 minutes because I learned my routine, no eye shadows (that's a dangerous topic, at least for me)

    Those would be the basics about make up.

    If you go out, you will probably will wear high heels shoes, the only short tip I can give you about walking as a woman is just feel your inner tights touching each other while walking, that will give you the characteristic women's walk.

    The dress will depend on the occasion and place to go, try to not go to a fancy place or wear to expensive clothes, of course nothing to sexy or provocative so you can feel more comfortable and get into the environment easy without be the center of attraction.

    Last words, What does make you feel the need to go out? be in public?

    after all, I'd like to ask you to share pics with us here and your feelings and emotions in your adventure.

    Devi
    Instagram @devisanm, Facebook Devi San Martin
    HRT 04302018 Full time 03/2019
    Electrolysis on face started 08/2019, down there for SRS 06/2021
    Orchiectomy 06/03/2020
    Legal name and gender marker changed 10/26/2020

  14. #14
    New Member alexa_cd's Avatar
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    Wow Devi thank you so so much! Some great tips in there and a lot to think about going forward.

    I feel the need to go out because I guess I feel the need to be accepted as Alexa and not my male self all the time, I feel more comfortable at home a lot of the time as Alexa. I wouold love to share some pics and experiences with you and everyone here also and hopefully I can start doing that soon when I get some make up and start practicing I could maybe share my progress and hopefully get some more hints and tips along the way with that but that will be next week at the earliest before I share any pics. Thanks again X

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    Don't put too much emphasis on passing because few of us do.
    Blending is more what you should focus on.
    When I joined here 12 years ago I knew absolutely nothing about CDing and have come a long way in understanding who I am. Everyone has their own path to walk so its not the same for everyone.

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    The first time I was out. I was very self conscious. I didn't blend in at all, and my makeup was a mess. I took a selfie of what I looked like that day. I thought I looked good, but then compare it to a selfie today. Its night and day difference.
    Every thing has increased since. My confidence, makeup skills, etc.

    As for makeup. I spent a good chunk on money exploring. Over the years I know what works and what dosn't. I will say this. Foundation is not cheap. I bought over 100 us dollars worth of foundation, and could never get the right stuff. I finally went to a makeup store. To get matched. I spent 30 bucks, and I'm happy. I have some cheaper, and more expensive stuff. I only use the cheaper stuff. When I run out of the good stuff. It looks good, but it takes more work to look good.

    My foundation is usually the most expensive thing on my face. Followed by my inglot eyeliner. I'm willing to pay a premium for them. As they apply easier, and stay longer. The rest is a mixture of elf, nyx and morphie stuff. Ranging from 10-25 bucks. Spend the big bucks in key items.

    The one thing I never see people talk about. Is what you use to apply what ever. You don't need to go buy some 20 plus dollar brushes, and sponges. Just don't buy the cheap 3 dollar ones. I just threw out about a dozen cheap brushes. Because they couldn't perform as well as my current favorites. Which were around 10-15 bucks.

  17. #17
    New Member alexa_cd's Avatar
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    Thanks Erica and Tracii, I have went and ordered a few different foundations, brushes and other bits to play about with, as much as I would love to go to a make up counter and get matched but obviously with lockdown I cant right now and I also just don't feel confident enough to do that at the moment anyway but hopefully one day I will. Also ordered some new clothes which im very excited about ariving soon

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    Well keep us informed on how things go and remember we have all been where you are now.

  19. #19
    Member Helena's Avatar
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    Alexa,

    My makeup skills aren't very good, I do the bare minimum and seem to manage out and about day to day.

    Many here have been for a makeover and picked up tips and advice that way.

    A quick Google search suggests hopping on a train to Edinburgh as there are a number of support groups there and one imagines some bohemian areas.

    Isolated cottages can work well but so could a city break. Helen manages to combine the best of both. You rapidly become lost in the crowd, providing you are not dressed to stand out.

    Good luck.

  20. #20
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    As others have shared, practice is the most important thing in achieving a satisfying result. It is only through practice, trial and error, that one can discover the combination of tools, techniques and products that work best.

    The advice to go to a cosmetics specialty retailer is also sound. Drug store foundation is, by and large, a waste of money. First of all, you'll rarely get the color match right on the first choice, so you're already paying double just to correct that one mistake. Go where a professional can do a color match for you. I will make one notable, possible exception - Maybelline Mineral Power foundation. It's a long story, but I was forced to grab some drugstore cosmetics due to social distancing, and decided to try this stuff as a replacement for my usual Bare Minerals products. It comes in only three colors, but that aside, the stuff works great.

    Tools: Get yourself a good set of brushes. Amazon has amazing deals on these. Use the reviews to guide you. For what you'd spend on a single quality brush at Sephora, you can have an entire set. Other basics include foam wedges, "beauty blenders"

    Hope this helps.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
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  21. #21
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Alexa,

    You have had plenty of make-up advice. Now that you have over 10 posts, you are able to browse the "Clothing, Shopping, Beauty" section for make-up advice.

    I have decided that I want to go a step further in my life as Alexa and possibly book a holiday where I can spend some time publicly dressed is this a good idea? do you have any recomendations of places in the UK that would be best to visit?
    As for your question on where to go, there are many people from the UK on this forum that could tell you safe places to go. We were in London last year, there were a few CDers strolling the streets and taking photos in front of tourist attractions. One of my US friends went to a beautiful college campus, while visiting the UK, to take CD pictures. There are is a section toward the bottom of this forum that is for places to go, places to meet. You may want to check for events that have taken places in various cities (many events may be cancelled this year but the cities may be safe - UK citizens could tell you for sure).

    Also, some have mentioned support groups. That is a good first start where you could get comfortable presenting in public if you haven't done so in the past.

    I hope that UK residents chime in and will share their recommendations for places to visit.
    Last edited by char GG; 05-14-2020 at 09:14 AM.

  22. #22
    New Member alexa_cd's Avatar
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    Thank you for your help and advice Helena and Aunt Kelly I will keep all you have said in mind and I look forward to sharing my results and my story with all you wonderful girls who have made me feel so welcome on this site, I couldn't ask for a better result to my first 2 days on this site I am genuinely overwhelmed with how nice everyone has been to me and already feel happier and more comfortable in my journey, Thank you all again so much! X

  23. #23
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Hi Alexa, First of all welcome! A lot of good advice here, I will just throw in "wickiHow", they have good makeup tips and cross-dressing tips. If you ever decide to go out you might post here "Places to Go, Places to Meet" that you are looking for someone to meet. I am very happy for you and wish you only the best. Have fun and stay safe out there.

  24. #24
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Alexa, I attend T girl events, get togethers, and visit T friendly gay clubs and bars. I've met 100's, maybe 1000, T's and T friends.

    But, I'm a closet dresser! So, they were all 20+ miles away from where I live.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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    Going against everyone's advice I say not to worry about where you buy your makeup and not necessarily buy high end makeup.

    Both my wife and I predominantly use NYX, E.L.F., Rimmel, and Wet & Wild brands of makeup.

    You can buy all these brands at drug stores, and department stores like Target and Walmart for often %25-%35 less than at Ulta or Sephora.

    My main advice for you is to be up front and honest with the sales associates, regardless of buying makeup, dresses, or a bra. You will get better service, a better fit or match, and probably be happier with your purchase.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 05-14-2020 at 04:26 PM.

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