Originally Posted by
confused_cathreen
Secrets are never helpful but I can see how someone might not want to go through the extend of what they DID in the PAST. Crossdressing is/will be PRESENT and FUTURE. And although trying to get your head around what your partner might have done once or multiple times in the past can be tough, especially if it clashes to who you know your partner to be now, it is a thousand times harder when you are taking about something that your partner was doing yesterday/wants to do today and every day/year/decade. You are trying to compare apples and seaweed here. It's not the word "secret". It's the concept of (from your side) secretive behaviour, of hiding, of lying, of avoiding family trips so you can "get your girl on", of possible sexual incompatibility, of biting your tongue when your wife is openly going clothes shopping and she asks you if that looks good on her, with a healthy dose of (from your wife's side) "wtf" when she discovers it/ you tell her, after years of thinking she knew everything about you. "Everyone has secrets" is poor rationalisation from those doing the secreting.
Totally agree with Miel, Devi, nothing Diane said was misogynistic or macho. I think your view of women is skewed and slightly fairytale-ish. The balance between emotion and logic is something we all employ when trying to make decisions, men and women alike. If you think you are being only logical in every decision you ever made, I think you need to look harder. Crossdressing is not a logical act. With the whole subtext attached to it (I don't agree with it, btw), the consequences to life and family, with the self-loathing I have seen many here struggle with, it's not logical. It's a highly emotional act, littered with emotional mental reactions. That's why it's impossible to answer the question of "why you do it?" Every answer I saw here started with "because it makes me feel..." There are many I have seen trying rationalisation (makes me more empathetic, easier to talk to, calms me down when stressed etc) but to a purely logical mind, all of these things can be counteracted by alternative methods. I have met exactly 0 women who need clothes to experience any of the above mental states. It exclusively happens to crossdressers. So, to a non-crossdresser male or a GG, it is impossible to empathise. I invite you to stop trying to assign logic and emotion to men and women. They both happen by humans.