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Thread: I've run out of hiding places

  1. #1
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    I've run out of hiding places

    My wife and I just moved onto a brand new house, and my wife is busy organizing and reorganizing all the closets and storage spaces. We have a DADT relationship, and she's OK with me keeping a limited number of things intermixed with her clothing. But certain things are strictly off limits, the biggest of which are breast forms and wigs. I have a fierce case of the Pink Fog for a new bra and some D-cup forms, but I can't figure out where I would keep the latter. Any suggestions?

  2. #2
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    If I was in your situation (thankfully I'm not) I would buy a wooden chest of some kind, put my 'off limits' stuff in it and lock it with a padlock or something similar. If your wife then demands you open the chest or breaks the lock off of the chest then that is on her, not you. In that case she would be the one violating the DADT agreement. That said I don't think she would want to know what was in the chest as it would be fairly obvious to her that you had some DADT stuff stored in there.

  3. #3
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    GG here
    SIMPLE
    Update your DADT
    Just be truthful just say there are few things I want to add to my collection.
    Any ideas where you would not mind me storing them?

    But
    If you agreed to her wishes of no wigs or bras?
    That?s a firm no!
    Unless you renegotiate.
    Otherwise when she does find them it will not be pretty .
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  4. #4
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    I have to totally agree with Di.

    It may be time to have a small talk with your wife.
    And see what she has to say.
    If she is on the firm I don't want to know and don't want this to go any further
    she may say no way.

    Or she may have ideas on how to come to a mutual agreement for both of you

    I personally feel this would be a better option to talk to her,
    sure better then trying to find a hiding place and have her find your things later on
    I would bet that her finding unexpected things would make her very upset

    All just my thoughts.
    Of course you would know what is really best for your relationship
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Mystery,
    does your wife object to you owning the breast forms, wearing the breast forms or seeing you wear them?
    Why do you store your clothes mixed with hers? Is that a rule too?
    Relationships change over time. As Di says, is it time to renegotiate? Can you explain to your wife why you need to wear the forms?
    Is it about the overall look or just to make the dresses hang better?
    when I reminded my wife that she had said "no breasts" - she could not remember that she had made that rule.
    Try not to keep secrets from you wife.
    Stay healthy,
    luv J

  6. #6
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    It wouldn't hurt to separate your clothing. Including her in the process of finding alternate storage solutions will go a long way.

  7. #7
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I think Di has the correct answer. You need to work with your wife to widen the scope of the definition of DADT in your relationship. Do not go behind her back. It will work for awhile, but eventually it will be found and you will be in a big pile of do-do for breaking the agreement. It is not necessarily the act that concerns your wife; it is what the behavior could mean and how that affects her image of what marriage should be. We all need to have some leeway in this because we are still individuals.

    I like to think of marriage, after 51 years of it, as a kind of threesome. There are three parties in the marriage - the woman, the man, and the couple. The couple is the relationship that goes above and beyond the individuals. All three characters need appropriate attention, but the couple part is based to a high degree on trust and honesty. If that is harmed then the Couple person becomes ill and distorted and that triggers unsuitable reactions in the other two persons in the threesome. Don't go there - you may find monsters there that you never imagined could possibly exist. And a few of those monsters will look a lot like you in the real world. Keep the trust and honesty healthy. Negotiate a new agreement and don't make it one sided.
    Last edited by GretchenM; 05-15-2020 at 07:59 AM.

  8. #8
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    I'm going with the others, try to re-negotiate your DADT terms. Hiding breast forms and wigs is a bit dishonest and it will be a big problem when she eventually finds them.
    Krisi

  9. #9
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    I agree with Di. She knows...just not to the degree of your dressing. Open the door...slowly. Encourage some reading. My guess is she just doesn?t understand (do any of us?), and fears the unknown. Go slowly. Try to compromise. It will not be easy, but if you can work it out, it will be better.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Not to pile on or be rude, but you’re not a kid anymore, and this isn’t what you can get away with without your parents knowing. You willingly entered into an adult relationship that should be built on a foundation of mutual respect. Going behind her back against her wishes isn’t respectful to her.

  11. #11
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    Reviewing some of your posts and doing some calculations you are 78 years old. You're not going to live forever. If your wife is alright with you mixing your clothes among her clothing, what's the roadblock with a wig and bras/forms? Is it an aversion to cross dressing going too far for her or grandkids exploring where they should not? I have to assume she knows your clothes in the joint closet get worn. If it is the grandkids may find something, then I go with finding an old footlocker at the army surplus store and locking anything of concern in it and slide it in the back of a walk in closet. If you pass away before your wife, then she can keep your secret and trash those things.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by MysteryWoman View Post
    certain things are strictly off limits, the biggest of which are breast forms and wigs. I have a fierce case of the Pink Fog for a new bra and some D-cup forms, but I can't figure out where I would keep the latter. Any suggestions?
    How about a padded bra?

    You might find that one of the "add 2 sizes" padded bras can help with your desire for forms and still be in the limits of your DADT.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 05-15-2020 at 12:12 PM.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    Keep us posted if you attempt to renegotiate your DADT and how you framed the conversation. That is the goal I am working towards as well and I need all the real life examples I can get.

  14. #14
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    Take it from me and many others on this site - the best hiding spots don't work for long

  15. #15
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    Big speaker cabinets.
    Thats where I kept my stuff for years when in my teens.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  16. #16
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    Hi MW , It sounds like you are stuck between a Rock and a Hard place. >Orchid .oooo.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  17. #17
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Hey Mystery. Since you said certain items are strictly off limits, it is logical for me to assume getting permission is very unlikely although may be worth a last attempt as others recommend. For me, it would never work so unfortunately I have to hide everything. My stuff is in the attic, covered with plastic trash bags, then fiberglass insulation laid on top of that. Most people do not want to touch fiberglass. I keep my makeup and wig hidden in the garage which is air conditioned. I may get caught but it has worked for 4 years. I know it is dishonest but some of us don?t have any options other than quitting the crossdressing or divorce.

    Sandi

  18. #18
    Not the one on TV!
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    I promise not to be judgmental, like the others. Hide your stuff in the attic. If you get too much stuff, you can get a small storage locker (small monthly rental fee).

  19. #19
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    I agree with Di also. The big thing is are you sneaking things in. If she has questions about someone finding them you can resolve that by buying a locking file cabinet. They are inexpensive compared to renting storage space or divorce.

    I've always been out to my wife and we don't have DADT relationship.

  20. #20
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Hide them in your car, hide them behind your bar.

    Hide them in a pie, hide them way up high.

    Hide them at your work, hide them with some jerk.

    Or, u could stop playing Dr. Seuss, grow up and tell her the truths!
    Last edited by docrobbysherry; 05-16-2020 at 05:26 PM.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  21. #21
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    One idea I had years ago was to open up a used clothing store.
    You could keep all your clothes right out in the open and dress in the back of the store.
    I know someone who has a used clothing store and has a photo backdrop in the back room, It makes me wonder since so many cross-dressers stay in the closet!
    He's so cool, I wish I could be opened about my dressing!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  22. #22
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    I am also in a DADT relationship. I keep all of my clothes in my dresser in the bedroom. My wife simply doesn't open the drawers. She knows what's in there but she doesn't snoop around and look, as far as I know. It works for us.

  23. #23
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    Thanks to all who have replied. I appreciate having your varied perspectives. There are two factors that lie at the heart of my current issue:
    1. My wife will not allow me to have a separate stash, because she fears discovery by a family member of feminine things that obviously are not hers. So she allows me to intermingle items that plausibly would belong to her. Forms (she's well-endowed) and wigs (she's never worn them) don't fall into this category.
    2. She's OK with me wearing feminine garments (i.e., a MIAD), but she will not allow me to use items such as forms and wigs that in her view (which is not my view) cross the line into trying to be a woman. Put bluntly, she views such items as body parts, not garments.
    So as someone said above, I'm between a rock and a hard place.
    Thanks again

  24. #24
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Who are these people that go rummaging through your house with no restraint?

    I have a separate closet with a lock for my clothing. It was locked for the first time last night because my dad stayed over and it is in the spare bedroom. I find it a bit ridiculous that she allows clothing, but not wigs or forms. I would thing simply having a small lockable chest, Similar to a hope chest or perhaps a suitcase for some of your items would be a workable solution. If anyone were to ask what is in the chest a simple response would be personal stuff, none of your business.

    Your second comment is probably more the truth. She just can not handle the long hair and boobs on her husband.

    I wear water balloon forms around my wife, she doesn't care for them and says so, but does not try to stop me. She will often poke a finger into them or give them a squeeze. Balloon forms could be your answer. Once you get the hang of it, they take just a few minutes to put together, and you can pop them and toss them in the trash when you are done.

  25. #25
    Crossdresser Taylor186's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy-Somthing View Post
    Big speaker cabinets.
    Thats where I kept my stuff for years when in my teens.
    Doesn't that muffle the bass response?

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