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Thread: During a dressup time are you still you or someone else?

  1. #26
    Senior Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    Thanks for all the wonderful replies. Not unexpectedly, as with many questions asked on the forum there is no one simple straightforward explanation . Danielle is a female persona I create for myself. It is a feminine illusion but not a delusion , I still realise it is Dave underneath all the makeup etc. The illusion is easily shattered when I have answered the phone while being Danielle and I see Danielle in the mirror but Dave's very male voice is talking. That's when the huge incongruity hits me as Danielle is strictly a stay at home girl and has never experienced interacting with anyone in public. Overall I have to truthfully say I am content with the balance I maintain with my male/female brain.

    Special thanks to GretchenM , I will definitely investigate the book "Gender Mosaic"

  2. #27
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    I suppose I could add, I do act more feminine dressed, but I am still the MIAD. I don't have a female name I used while dressed. I suppose if I were to somewhat pass and ventured out in public like many do I would want a female name, but since I don't venture out of the house I just answer to what my wife feels like calling me at the time.

  3. #28
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    I am still the same person why wouldn't I be?

  4. #29
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
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    I think sometimes it's like, I am "the other woman" and I am having an fling with myself.
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  5. #30
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Hey Danielle. We have a lot of similarities from what I read into your post. Like you, the final top off is the wig and it has always felt like a wow moment when I look in the mirror. One big difference is that I started going to bars and clubs since the summer of 2017. I have become MUCH more outgoing when dressed. Granted I usually have a few drinks and that has some effect. I will say I am a lot more fun when dressed. I love hanging out with women but would be too shy in drab mode to walk up to a pretty women and say anything. It is so much easier when I am Sandi. It is very weird to me, but very addicting. People have been very accepting which makes it all the more fun.

    Haha, one last thing. Judy made a comment that I can relate to very much.

    Sandi

  6. #31
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    Hi Danielle , To me it is just seeing the pretty lady in the mirror smiling back at me., >Orchid .oOO..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  7. #32
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    I'm the same person what ever I have on. When I was in my late teens and passed I did act different when dressed. But I think much of that was because I didn't want people to know that I wasn't really a girl. I acted much like the girls that were my age and wore the same clothes. I was never attracted to guys but enjoyed going to dances as a girl or went cruising the drive inns.

  8. #33
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    I could ponder this question for hours and hours and still not come up with what I would call a definitive answer.

    When I dress I act differently, my mannerisms alter and the best reason I can offer is I don't want to look like an ape in a dress.

    The phrase, "It's more than the clothing" has been used many times here and I guess for me that's true. I want the world to see my femme charactaristics. Why wear heels if you don't want to walk the walk. To have that motion.

    Now it is possibly an act, a character part in life's story but over the years as I've grown to accept this part of me, slipping into character has be come automatic, something I don't think about. Clothes on, click the switch gets turn on.

    It's not total separation. In drab I sit with my legs crossed, I suddenly realise I'm walking more from the hips, that hint on a sway.

    Is it any different to a GG who works doing a job that means they getting dirt and grease all over them who then goes home, gets cleaned up and goes out having, "Scrubbed up nicely" to wow the boys? A life of two halves.

  9. #34
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Well, I think I'm still just me.

    BUT

    People who know me in both modes say that I change. I'm told my voice gets softer, I move differently, and a I'm happier person.

    Um, OK. Who am I to argue?


    Recently a good friend comment that he sees me as a mix of both male and female (dressed or not). I agree.

  10. #35
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    Danielle,
    Setting aside the reference to dress up time I really had to think about changes that may or may not occur .

    I remember sometime ago stating that if I went full time I would still be the same person , basically I am but with subtle changes . Finding a balance with my dysphoria has released a hidden part of me or an aspect I could never show as a man . I guess this raises the question , which part of my life is an act ? To answer that I simply ask myself which aspect am I happier and more content , the answer to that is a " No brainer !"

    If I can turn the tables and ask if you were able to go full time without your current DADT how would you then answer your own question ?

    Also if I may ask if you didn't have to fight or struggle for the time with your " Dress up " situation , without that challenge would you still want or need to do it ?
    Last edited by Teresa; 05-17-2020 at 09:30 AM.

  11. #36
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    I am still just the same person, Raychel never steps out the door, so there is no real reason
    to act any different then I do normally,

    I like to dress in women's clothes, does not make a different person in any way at all.
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  12. #37
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    And I am reading my post again and the subsequent replies and laughing at myself and my habit of overthinking everything in my lengthy responses. Please forgive me, I have a lot of unanswered questions and enough exploring to keep busy for the rest of my life.

  13. #38
    Member MaryAnn1963's Avatar
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    Jamie said...."Danielle, It's just me, maybe a happier version of me, but just me"

    That so sums it up... but I would have to ad "the happiest version of me" I never feel such joy as when I'm dressed.

  14. #39
    Member Vale's Avatar
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    Maybe slightly bi gendered? Both my ex and my current wife will tell you that ?yes there is also a girl in there.? For me it seems the core (moral compass?) is the same but I express things differently and do have somewhat different boy mode and girl mode personalities. It?s fun that way, and I don?t feel any reason to try to change anything

    Love, vale. .

  15. #40
    Aspiring Member KymG's Avatar
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    Im still me.
    A more relaxed me and in a comfortable space that I don't often get to. Almost like meditating I suppose.
    I cant explain why, just that feeling.

  16. #41
    Heather loves heels Heather2die4's Avatar
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    My dog knows it's me and she is not biased by all the social conditioning that we humans get caught up in, therefore, it's me; but expressing a different part of my amazing and complex personality. Consider the Chinese pictogram of yin and yang. Heather is the beautiful dot of feminine at the center of my yang persona. Together, we make a healthy, happy, integrated whole person. I love this life.

  17. #42
    Amanda countrygirl's Avatar
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    I feel I turn into Amanda as I slowly progress in putting items on and finally when I look in the mirror and relize that I have finally brought my female side into view.
    Amanda

  18. #43
    Senior Member DanielleDubois's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post

    If I can turn the tables and ask if you were able to go full time without your current DADT how would you then answer your own question ?

    Also if I may ask if you didn't have to fight or struggle for the time with your " Dress up " situation , without that challenge would you still want or need to do it ?
    No problem answering your questions. I have never had even an inking of desire to be full time. I throughly enjoy everything about being and presenting a very male personality the 99.9 % time I am not Danielle. I am not in a DADT situation as my wife is fully aware of my Danielle activities. She is supportive of my Danielle needs and we can discuss anything Danielle related. The only boundary is she is not comfortable seeing Danielle in photos or in person.

    As for your second question since there is no DADT there is no struggle for finding dress up time. Danielle days are by mutual agreement on days that she will be out. We are currently still self isolating so we have discussed I can have Danielle time behind the closed door of our bedroom for several hours while she is busy in the garden etc. I am fortunate she is so understanding and she always asks me how things went after a Danielle day. I have realized many years ago my need to and wanting to become Danielle occasionally is never going to go away.

    Thanks for the questions,
    Danielle

  19. #44
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    I am myself, only with the volume turned down a couple of notches. I speak a little softer, tone down the gestures, walk a lot tighter, just try to act a lot less like the entitled (sometimes obnoxious) male that I am. It works. People from all walks of life, of all ages, treat me entirely like a woman even though I don't try to change my voice or act particularly feminine. It took me a long time to figure this out.

  20. #45
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    I've always thought of it like a coin.
    Heads up, I'm a man.
    Tails up, I'm a girl.

    I keep each gender totally separate.
    I am not out, this helps me hide.

    I am the coin. Both sides are me.
    I can control which side shows.

    I am bi but only engage with the opposite gender that I am portraying.
    I currently have a gf, so my girl side gets no love. lol

    Each side has its own quirks, but they are all me.

  21. #46
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I am myself. Even more myself when I dressup

  22. #47
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Diane T, That sounds a lot like me too. I am amazed what the hose, bra, girdle, heels, dress, wig, and make up, earrings, glasses do ! I am a little troubled too, as i sometimes would like to be with a man treating me as a lady. I am one guy starved for female beauty, lifetime single, and i do dress up to resemble a very tall lady, or what i wuld have been if born one. I am not a different person though, as it is just apart of the whole complex me.

  23. #48
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    I don't think it's possible to "be someone else". Strapping on a pair of boobs doesn't change who you are or how you feel. How could it? Could you like country music as a male and pop music just by strapping on a pair of boobs? Could you be a republican as a male, but a democrat just by strapping on a pair of boobs?

    I'll admit to trying to act differently when presenting as a female, but that's just how I carry myself, how I walk and talk, etc., but it's still me.
    Krisi

  24. #49
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    Krisi,
    I'm not asking this question to be offensive but when I read your replies I wonder what really drives your need and what you get out of presenting as female . You never mention dysphoria and indeed you never really say you enjoy dressing and it makes you happy . I know you often call it a hobby which I find hard to swallow but if I wasn't driven by dysphoria I possibly wouldn't be Teresa , in pursuing that I've found real happiness and contentment .

  25. #50
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Hi Danielle,
    I am still me. I never even thought of being "Brenda", I just needed the name to join here. But your questions do give me pause to ponder, I do act differently, talk differently, walk differently, and look differently. But it is still me.
    Thanks for the thought of the day

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