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Thread: buying for wife...

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    buying for wife...

    The thread about the first articles purchased got me thinking about my history. I was a late bloomer and the desire to have and wear clothes from the woman's section of the store didn't start until my mid-fifties. A lot of those posting on the other thread said that pantihose were their first purchase. Now, I'd tried on my wife's pantihose a few times over our several decade marriage. i didn't hate it but it was a slight letdown over how i thought they'd feel. Dark leg hair showing through wasn't exactly a thrill either...

    But, the main memory that the thread brought up was the fact that i've bought probably hundreds of pairs of pantihose for my wife during the years she worked in an office and I did most of the shopping. it was nothing for me to throw 2 or 3 pairs in the cart on every grocery shopping trip. I never gave it a second thought and never had the least bit of self-consciousness. Now, that I'm buying for myself, I often feel very self-conscious. I was just wondering if anyone else had a similar experience.
    To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller

  2. #2
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Yes, I'm very familiar with that feeling. I've tried to reconcile it in my mind, because of course, it doesn't make much sense. The only thing I can come up with, is that I try to be an honest person, and somehow shopping for myself with out disclosure, somehow feels dishonest. I do notice that in the past few years ,since I've been more out front about shopping for myself, that nervousness has dissipated somewhat. Again, it's not really logical, it's just a feeling thing.

    Then again, though I'm sure I'm not a candidate for transition, one of the reasons I see myself as "not just a crossdresser" is that the feeling thing runs pretty strong with me.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  3. #3
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    I buy my pantyhose and some of my makeup at the supermarket. I sometimes get looks in the pantyhose lane, and not really in the makeup section. It is obvious that women are more uneasy seeing a guy in the pantyhose lane than the makeup department. I think it has something to do with the intimacy of undergarments, while makeup is more anecdotal. I sometimes buy personal items for my wife. As that section isn't as isolated as the pantyhose one, I don't get looks but clearly women wait for me to finish grabbing the items before approaching. There is clearly a gender separation line at work there.
    Last edited by char GG; 05-23-2020 at 09:48 PM. Reason: Please see rules under right of content

  4. #4
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    When my wife and I were first married we did a lot of shopping together for her on weekends. We would go into Manhattan and peruse the lingerie sections of the mid town stores; Gimbel's, Macy's, Saks, etc. I found it very easy to buy alone clothes for her for any occasion. Of course, at the time she was five foot two and 115 pounds. I was six teen two and 175 pounds. There would be no mistake the clothes were not for me. We did buy when together some nightgown for me. The size differential between us was not that noticeable when perusing the racks. Generally, the racks carried small, medium and large. Sometimes XL too.

    When I started buying other than nightgowns; slips and panties I was still a 38 inch chest. Usually I was buying around a holiday; Christmas, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, etc. I would always ask for gift box, even if I knew the store would direct me to a wrapping desk. That's how it was at the Macy's. But, at that time most of the stores did have gift boxes at the cash register stations. Sometimes I would also buy a greeting card to go along with my purchase.

    It is almost impossible to find a decent lingerie; nightgowns and slips, especially. I have purchased a few dresses of the racks and felt no embarrassment. I have found, if you appear to be confident the sales associates are helpful. I have order many dresses on line with free store pickup and have felt no angst. The markdowns are so huge at JCP clearance that the sales associates comment as to the great bargains.

    If anyone has angst about perusing the racks I would suggest checking out the stores on-line availability at store vs ordering. You can get a good idea what is on the racks and the sizes. I call it pre shopping. Sometimes the information is not correct or up to date, but it does reduce the fumbling around at the store.

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    That's funny how it only becomes stressful when buying for ourselves (for some of us). I recall many times in my younger years being asked to run to the store for personal items and never thought twice about it even though some consider that and condom purchases as the ultimate embarrassment. But try to shop in a thrift store or the cosmetics isle at the drug store and I'm shaking like Barney Fife.
    Last edited by char GG; 05-23-2020 at 09:54 PM. Reason: Please see rules under right of content

  6. #6
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    I am not saying I never felt any anxiety when I first started buying my own things.

    But it didn't last long, in fact I pushed myself to some extent. Whenever I was buying clothes I would go to the line with the prettiest young lady running the register. In 40+ years of buying women's clothes for myself not one time did anyone refuse to serve me or call me a freak or pervert, even when buying panties.

    Over the years I have got a few compliments, plenty of big grins and knowing smiles when buying women's things in DRAB, but the vast majority was just business as usual.

    Quote Originally Posted by April Rose View Post
    The only thing I can come up with, is that I try to be an honest person, and somehow shopping for myself with out disclosure, somehow feels dishonest.
    Well in a sense you are being dishonest and you know it, that just adds to your anxiety. People who are good at spotting shoplifters can pick up on that. Because you will be slinking around, looking over your shoulder all nervous. That just draws even more unwanted attention to yourself.

    Be open and up front with all sales associates and cashiers. You will find that you will probably get better service, a better fit, and be happier with your purchase.

    Here's a story I like to tell. Once I ordered a few things from Torrid online. I always have everything delivered to the store for pickup so I don't have to pay such outrageous shipping charges. Anyway I popped in to pick up my package after work one day total "guy mode". The SA retrieved my package and opened it to make sure everything I ordered was in there, and said she would put it all in a new bag.

    Then without blinking an eye or being facetious she said "Would you like to try these on before you leave?". I was like "Sure!". So after I come out of the fitting room she said "Since you tried on in the store, you get an extra %10 off everything. Even clearance that is already %40 off". I ended up buying another top off the clearance rack.

    My point here is that if I had gone into Torrid and said I was there to pick up "My Wife's order" and ran, I never would have even known about the extra %10 off.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 05-23-2020 at 12:20 PM.

  7. #7
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    Bea,
    For many years I use to buy a nightie as an extra little Xmas present for my wife , never saw it as a problem and neither did the SAs . One time that does stand out was when BHS closed down I bought a basket full of stockings as they were selling at knock down prices , that did raise a few eyebrows in the check out line .

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    Teresa,
    You mention buying gifts at Christmas. I actually make a couple of extra trips for myself and shop more freely during the Christmas and Valentine's Day seasons because it doesn't raise eyebrows the way it does the rest of the year. Oddly, my wife will shop with me at the outlet stores and we both pick stuff from the women's section. Then, inevitably, she asks me to pay while she moves on to another store. When i get to the register, i might as well have shopped by myself. It is getting easier...
    To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller

  9. #9
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I suggest u throw a few pairs of skin tone tites in your basket, Bea! You'll never have to shave your legs again!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  10. #10
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    I know that feeling. I just tell myself this is a business, my money is as good as anyone's. The fact is that 3 seconds after I leave they won't be thinking about me at all. Most people are simply too busy and wrapped up in their own lives/jobs to pay any real attention. Don't let nervousness stop you from getting what you want. It's truly all in our heads.
    -Jen

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