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Thread: Twenty questions number four

  1. #1
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Twenty questions number four

    Since everyone seems to enjoy the 20 questions we will continue.
    I am only posting as a member for something fun and where we can read each others take on things seeing other POV.
    Last time I asked for questions you all would like me to include / those are the first ten .
    Thanks everyone who joins in .
    As always please put n/a where things do not apply.

    These are questions mostly geared to CDs as we are posting this in the m2f cd section.
    Not trying to leave anyone out / if there are questions you would like me to ask please see question 20.
    This is for everyone to answer and it is onLy meant to be fun and learn from each other.

    Thanks again enjoy !


    1)High heals or flats?
    2)How often for how long?
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal?
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?
    7)Best place to shop?
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther.
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover?
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service?
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing?
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips?
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference?
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned?
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?
    Last edited by Di; 05-29-2020 at 09:23 AM.
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  2. #2
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    1)High heals or flats?
    Yes, Mostly heels, less then 2.5" but I do have some flats for the more casual days

    2)How often for how long?
    For Shoes, Not all that often lately, Like almost not at all,
    For dressing, lately it has been almost everyday, for at least a couple of hours,

    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal?
    Not for me at all, If it was universally acceptable, I would no doubt be dressed full time
    when I look in the mirror and see me dressed, I have this internal feeling that, this is how my body is supposed to look.

    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?
    this definitely fit me, MIAD for sure. In order to deal, I stay inside when dressed. I doubt that the world is ready for me to step outside
    sad, because if we never step outside the world will never be ready. But a 60 year old grey haired guy in a dress with a set of 42dd.
    that is definitely a sight that will get people looking and talking

    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?
    I don't know that I ever felt like I deserved to dress. Sure it is part of me.
    But I always tried to be within the guidelines of the relationship
    Although there were times when times were rough that I did dress regardless of what she thought.
    If she was being a total "B" and I felt I needed to be myself and be more relaxed, then I dressed as I pleased

    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?
    this varies alot, some months I dont spend anything at all
    other times if I am depressed or the breast forms need replacing it could be in the hundreds of dollars a month

    7)Best place to shop?
    I always preferred Dress Barn and J.C. Penney, Dress barn closed all their stores, and J.C Penney is slowly going away
    So now I don't know where I will end up shopping.

    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would they actually want to? Or would dresses become
    the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther.
    Yes, I would still want to, and would almost everyday, It is still the way I prefer to dress and feel most comfortable

    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover?
    No Never, My wife did do my makeup one time for a Halloween party
    Some of the people there said they could not believe I was a man, until I talked.
    I doubt that was the fact for sure, lmao

    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service?
    N/A.

    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing?
    Has not affected it at all, Dressing inside my own home

    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)
    n/a

    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?
    I have a few wigs, but never wear them, I find them very hot and uncomfortable

    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?
    Just old guy grey hair, cut at the barber shop when they are open.

    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips?
    Style, Think Raquel Welch, love he long flowing style

    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your
    preference?
    I would love to have a partner around that was accepting, My wife was mostly, we would go shopping at times, and that was fun.

    17) Is there anything you would change if you could.
    Not really dressing related, Sure I would love the world more accepting.
    and I would love to have an accepting partner to walk thru the rest of life with
    but mostly just want a happy life

    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on.
    Undergarments, Shapewear and bras, and dresses, can never have too many dresses

    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned?
    The one thing that I have learned, that was really huge for me, is that telling good friends is ok
    All true friends have accepted me for who I am,
    I was deathly afraid of telling my father, but when I did finally tell him, he was totally fine. subject has just passed
    sure I don't discuss my dress shopping with him, but he knows and is fine.
    So just be a good person and the world that matters to you will accept you for who you are.

    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?
    What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing?
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  3. #3
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    1)High heals or flats? Mid-heels (2-3 inches). Attractive but easy to walk in.
    2)How often for how long? Once or twice a week for 30 minutes to an hour.
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? Not at all.
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? N/A
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? I wouldn't know.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? It comes in spurts, not regular intervals and amounts. The most I've spent at one time is about $250
    7)Best place to shop? On line.But if you mean instores, probably JC Penney.
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable Tom wear dresses, would they actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. I have no idea.
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? No, but it's on my bucket list.
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? Pro: The most realistic possible look. Cons: The cost and brevity.
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? Much less safe time for dressing because wife is always around.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) N/A
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? Wigs, but my wife doesn't allow me to have them.
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? N/A
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? N/A
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? Sharing, for sure.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. Society's negative views of crossdressing.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. No.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? There's no reason to feel guilt.
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? You're doing fine.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Sorry but I think these are so fun!

    1. Daily flats! Heels for appointments and when I feel like a heel will do!
    2. N/A as I am full time!
    3. No I don't think so!
    4. N/A
    5. I do not know! I repressed it for 34 years and only wore panties about 4-5 times, purging each time!
    6. Not sure but less than $100 a month!
    7. Locally Cato! Online either Woman Within or Blair!
    8. There have been attempts to make feminine fashion and male fashion merge without much success!
    9. If that means a transformation, yes! Have also had just make up done!
    10. For me, the transformation let me see my feminine side which is what I was seeking at the time! They are costly!
    11. I still dress in all "female" clothes as they are my clothes and all I will wear! Not wearing wig at present except when seeing counselor!
    12. Not well! LOL
    13. Well, I have male pattern baldness so I generally have to wear a wig but with the pandemic I am growing my hair and may go with it as there are women with pattern baldness!
    14. Maybe!
    15. I have two wigs and wear the one on my avatar exclusively!
    16. N/A No partner!
    17. Yes! I would be rich and could afford my surgeries(BA, FFS, and SRS)!
    18. N/A
    19. Share it early on with your partner! Communication is really the most important thing in a relationship!
    20. N/A
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  5. #5
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    Di,
    I'm sure you'll find the cross section of answers useful no matter were we are on the TG spectrum , I agree there is also a fun side .

    1) Heels or wedges most of the time , I have some flats for gardening and walking the dog .
    2) Shoes or clothes ? No matter I'm full time .
    3) What others do doesn't affect my dysphoria
    4) I can't do inbetween but I don't fully understand a MIAD situation anyway , personally it's a confusing situation for me and the people around me .
    5) The need to crossdress is driven in many by a powerful force , we are the first that need to accept that fact , by the time we reach that point we need others to understand what we are dealing with . To me it's not a matter of deserving it but coming to terms with it , we are stuck with the male expectations .
    6) Hard to say how much money , as I live full time the clothes cost me the same as male ones , it's the extras that mount up , makeup isn't cheap .
    7) Without doubt retail shops , I just love the interaction with SAs .
    8) Dressing full time means we have to find that balance , what would a GG in similiar circumstances .
    9) No , I've gradually built my confidence up to find my own style , now I know what suits and what doesn't . I do wish the forum had a Q/A section with professional sylists , they know what works with various shaped figures .
    10) For a complete novice it might give some guidance and possibly save money , it all depends on what statement the person wants to make .
    11) The current lockdown has made no difference , I wake up as Teresa and go to bed as Teresa , I don't find that a problem .
    12) I'm missing the social side very much , not just the meetings but shopping and meeting up for coffee .
    13) Hair is a real problem , I wish I had my own hair but the wig does save some problems there are pros and cons on both sides , personally I can't go without .
    14) My real hair is kept short and neat or was until lockdown happenend , I wash and condition my wig usually once a week .
    15) A good TS friends told me if are out full time stick to one wig , personally I feel she is right it's like maintaining a certain level of makeup we build an identity , people become comfortable with that . A GG friend also asked me not to confuse them when I joked about buying a bright pink wig . The bottom line is I'm accepted for what I look like
    16) To me it has to happen , to socially transition it's the only way to be , hiding means you have something to hide or be ashamed of , eventually you do earn respect for being honest and open .
    17) To wish to change something means you are dissatisfied , life isn't perfect for anyone but personally I'm happy with the way its' working out .
    18) I miss the passing of some styles but I don't collect anything , dressing is part of my life , now I accept that I just get on with the life its' given me .
    19) My assumption has always been that people who CD will eventully want to be or appear to be women , I've found from the forum it's not the case , I've had some roastings over making that assumption . We have to accept all our stuations are different so all we can do is suggest what may work for them .
    20) It might be interesting to know what some GGs think of the replies in the F.A.B section , possibly if and when they are all collated .

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    1)High heals or flats?
    Flats or low wedges
    2)How often for how long?
    As long as it coordinates with what I?m wearing and fits the activity
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal?
    I think we'd all shift to the "feminine" end of the accepted range
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?
    - That?s a very open ended question...
    - We enjoy clothing and accessories typically restricted to genetic females in society but we don't want to present as female.
    - Personally, I consider my taste in clothes as being no less logical or reasonable than women wearing pants. Society (and many SO's) disagree
    - I tend to go for comfort.
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?
    - For the same reason that some wives feels like the crossdresser should/has to accept rejection or override of his ability to choose.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?
    less than $50/month on average
    7)Best place to shop?
    Marshall?s/Kohl?s
    8) If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable Tom wear dresses, would they actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther.
    - see question 3 - We'd all probably shift to the feminine end of the spectrum
    9) Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover?
    No, not interested
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service?
    NA
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing?
    Very little other than the shopping. I'm retired and a homebody at heart.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)
    NA
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?
    Real hair. I've got natural gray hair about 6 inches past my shoulders.
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?
    Myself... very minimal - Always in a pony tail when out. Ponytail or bun at home. I'm always checking out how women are doing buns and twists, but have had limited success (with minimal effort) at achieving anything other than a simple "man bun".
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips?
    NA
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference?
    I dislike hiding. I do share my taste and she has supported it, but she's also made it clear that she's got a gag reflex and I should avoid anything that triggers it.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could.
    That she'd love my taste as part of me instead of obviously tolerating it in order to get the parts of me she wants.
    18) Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on.
    - Not clothing, but I've got a small collection of floral print coffee mugs that feel indulgent when having my coffee on the patio
    - and, I like more feminine style reading glasses that lay randomly around the house
    19) Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned?
    not really.
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?
    I'd be curious to know how many consider themselves to be introverts vs extroverts.
    Last edited by Bea_; 05-29-2020 at 10:12 AM.
    To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. ~ Timothy Keller

  7. #7
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    1. Heels every time
    2. 2-4 hours
    3. I have always been driven by my urges and my experience of ?total immersion? makes believe this is something of a fallacy in my case so I doubt it.
    4. N/A
    5. I am single so it am not sure I am qualified to answer but I would suggest that if a partner is not accepting you may be in the wrong relationship - I certainly would not seek to impose views on others.
    6. Varies from month to month but about ?100 on gear on average (I find most reliable measure of expense is time TBH)
    7. River Island
    8. I have been driven principally by my urges And my addictions have increased to cover an increasing number of elements of female clothing anyway so I have no reason to imagine that this would have any major affect In itself.
    9. No.
    10. Again, not really qualified to comment - I can only guess it is an expense vs skills trade off.
    11. As I am furloughed it means I have had more time on my hands. I usually find that if I am occupied I am able to defer the need to dress so I have been finding myself becoming Heather more often than before. I am driven by my urges through so this changes on a day by day basis.
    12. I went out and about really due to the confidence gained from undergoing ?total immersion?, not because I went anywhere specific so not much change here.
    13. Real hair is preferable although it?s not really compatible with the professionalism expected in my job role (old fashioned prejudices and all that).
    14. N/A
    15. I have a curly red one and a long blonde one. I am naturally short and brown do anything is distinct from this is something I would be open to.
    16. I haven?t got a partner but my ?total immersion? experience means that it is something of an open secret locally anyway. I would defer to my earlier answer and say if a partner wasn?t comfortable with Heather I would question whether I was with the right person.
    17. Hind sight is a wonderful thing isn?t it. at one time I would have done anything to give back my urges, but having made peace with it all, it has proven for the best that I underwent my ?total immersion? experience as I would still likely be in the closet but to family otherwise.
    18. My biggest addiction is definitely skirts. It was these that got me into dressing age 11 and whilst my addictions have expanded to almost every female accessory, I will sometimes see a lady in a nice skirt and imagine myself wearing it.
    19. My only advice would be done what?s best for you?. It would be tempting to say that everyone should ?out? themselves but this would be drawn from my ?total immersion? experience in school and I think it would be arrogant to think that this would apply to everyone - and I don?t think I would even say it of myself had I not been through it.
    20. I am not very good at thinking of questions. Something about first experiences cross dressing might be interesting though I expect this has been covered as infinitum already.

    Thank you - as a new member to the forum, this has been an interesting and thought provoking experience.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    1)High heals or flats?

    Definitely heels!

    2)How often for how long?

    I dress in a limited sense about twice a week. By that I mean clothes, earrings, necklace, bracelet and hose (depending on my outfit) but no forms wig or makeup - my wife isn't ready for those yet. I fully dress about once a week but not around my wife. Casual nights are usually about three to four hours and full dressing is about five to six hours. I would love to be able to dress more but I keep it in check for the sake of my marriage.

    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal?

    N/A

    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?

    N/A

    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?

    N/A

    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?

    Comparatively little now. I have a nice wardrobe, several wigs, forms, pads, shape wear, bras, shoes etc, so other than consumables like makeup and hose i don't 'need' much. That doesn't mean I don't shop, but compared to when I was building my wardrobe and probably spending an average of a couple of one to two hundred dollars a month I now spend $0 to maybe $50 in any given month.

    7)Best place to shop?

    I love a good consignment shop because I can get much more for my money.

    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther.

    N/A

    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover?

    No. I have gotten my makeup done in a salon but I go there dressed and just get my makeup done.

    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service?

    N/A

    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing?

    I get to dress a bit more because I'm working at home although I try to not overdo it so as to not bother my wife too much.

    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)

    N/A at the moment.

    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?

    I would love to be able to go with real hair but there are several reasons I don't, the largest being that I have an ever burgeoning bald spot. That being said, I do have four wigs and I really like being able to choose my hairstyle to fit my mood or outfit.

    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?

    N/A

    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips?

    I have several different styles and I love them all. The only wig tips I would give are to use a wig shop and spend what your budget will allow, even if it means saving up over time. A good quality wig is so worth it.

    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference?

    My wife knows and I'm so glad she does. It has caused some problems but it's so much less stressful than when I was hiding this part off me.

    17) Is there anything you would change if you could.

    I would go back in time and tell my wife sooner.

    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on.

    Not really.

    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned?

    Don't beat yourself up over it. It's not a terrible thing and guilt and shame are way too harmful.

    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member
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    1)High heals or flats? Heels but rarely

    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? Yes
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?

    Wife who questioned how far it would go and if I was interested in men

    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?

    It's all about me thinking. I don't think we were always so selfish. Older generations worked brutally hard jobs to support their families. Too much it's all about how you feel therapy. I prefer the gordan ramsey style

    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?

    Average 20 bucks a month

    7)Best place to shop? Kohl's


    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther.

    Part is the thrill is the naughtiness of it. When it loses the thrill it's over

    No valuable input for rest

  10. #10
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    1)High heals or flats? Both.
    2)How often for how long? I assume this relates to heels...hours on end.
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? I dress to express my gender identity, not to be a contrarian.
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? Not applicable.
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? I?d take exception to the word deserve. each of us has the right to self expression, and our significant others have an equal right to their opinion, positive or negative. If these correspond, yea! If not, then its a sad but common basis for parting ways.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? I would guess on average I spend maybe $50 per month
    7)Best place to shop? There is no one best place to shop. I like shopping in person, but will buy items on line that I cannot find in bricks and mortar stores
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. I do not find much value in such hypotheticals
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? Not to a dressing service, but I have gone to make up artists a couple of times for makeovers
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? N/a
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? Like others my age, I am largely home-bound for the moment
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)I?m just living quitely
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? I would prefer thick, luxurious, real hair, but my gray fine hair isn?t all that attractive, so I wear wigs
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? An
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? I am not very adventurous. I wear mid length wigs cut to frame and femininize my face somewhat
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? I would prefer to share. Alas, that didn?t work out.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. I would have wished that my ex and I could have reached a mutually agreeable arrangement.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. Not really.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? Try to be good to yourself, emotionally, and at the same time be open to your partner and her feelings.
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    815
    1)High heals or flats? mostly heels. I own 1 pair of flats for that work better for a couple of outfits.
    2)How often for how long? When ever I dress. I have been in heels for more than 7hours I find most pairs I own are comfortable (with a couple of exceptions)
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? Yes it would. if everybody did it I would be normal, I cant think of anything worse.
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?na
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? Most of us have been dressing pre-puberty. This is part of our being.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? Way too much. Last year I spent over $1500.
    7)Best place to shop? I like shops that cater to woman only. ie lane Bryant, torrid, ect
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. I am good with the status quo
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? not yet
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? na
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? it has not affected me at all.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) I only get out a couple of times a year. I got out right before all heck broke out. I will go out this fall shopping.
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?Wigs, I like my real hair short.
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?na
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? i have a couple of different styles. My tip, go and have a professional fitting and style consultation.
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? I am fine keeping it separate from my wife. She has no desire to see me dressed and I am fine with that.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. Being a size 12.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. i like to dress more fancy. like I am going to and event.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? Save you self before you spent too damn much money
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? na

  12. #12
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Orange County, California
    Posts
    3,080
    1)High heals or flats? Flats and wedges, heels on rare occasion

    2)How often for how long? Fs and Ws Sun up to bed time

    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? No. Being TG, I need to.

    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? NA
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? Not deserve, but Need. If there is true love, the wives should lean towards acceptance of the NEED.

    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? $50-$75 a month.

    7)Best place to shop? Ross and Kohl's.

    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. With acceptance, I would want to even more.

    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? Two Sophia's makeovers .. non dressing.

    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? The pros know what they are doing to make you appear most feminine.

    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? It hasn't, except for hair and nails.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) JUst fine.

    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? Wigs when going out. When in, nicely groomed hair.

    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? See 13
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? Different looks. Tip: use wig tape on forehead.

    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? NA. My wife is with the angels. If alive, share.

    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. My LARGE nose and brows.

    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. NA
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? IF you are very serious about CDing, come out to your wife and family. It relieves stress and angst.

    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? Questions that relate to TGing as opposed to CDing. Ditto TS.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,630
    1)High heals or flats? Heels for sure
    2)How often for how long? Whenever I go out, length depends on the event
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? Not really into hypotheticals
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? N/A
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? Everyone deserves to crossdress. Self expression is a human right. Things get more complicated when you’re talking about relationships
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? I don’t know if I can calculate this. A LOT if you’re talking clothes, wigs, makeup, etc.
    7)Best place to shop? DTLA Fashion district
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. This seems like the same question as 3
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? No
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? N/a
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? Largely hasn’t.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) I don’t know that it’s anything I need to COPE with per se. it’s sad, but that’s about it.
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? This is my hair. I don’t wear wigs (i know you won’t get the reference so yes, wigs)
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? A male hairline is a dead giveaway. When styling, go for something that will hide your hairline.
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? A quality wig can be styled how you want it. I personally prefer the custom wigs I can get from my wig person. Lace front is a must, and for your average street dresser, 150+% density is best
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? My wife is very active with my drag
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. No
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. No
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? Never skip lashes, and learn to beat you own mug. Nobody will ever know your face like you
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? N/A

  14. #14
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,095
    1/high heals or flats? Flats
    2)How often for how long? Every day 4-8 hours
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? Probably
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? N/A
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? Everyone deserves to be themself. other than that, I don't know.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? Less than $ 75.00 a month.
    7)Best place to shop? I haven't shopped since Dress Barn.
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. I flirt with being non binary, so I would go with fashion.
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? Only to a second rate one, years ago.
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? I would love to go to a good one. i think it would be a hoot.
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? I can't go to TCNE.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) see 11
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? Prefer real hair , Have to wear a wig.
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? Balding.
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? Go to a wig salon. You won't regret it.
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? I dress in front of my wife and son.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. I would make a trans identity something to brag about.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. Pretty, colorful but classic clothes.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? Learn to love yourself.
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? How many wives are threatened by crossdressing/trans behavior just because it is unconventional?
    Last edited by April Rose; 05-29-2020 at 03:29 PM.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  15. #15
    Struggler with CDing Pixie_94's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Costa Rica
    Posts
    203
    1)High heals or flats?

    A bit of both.

    2)How often for how long?

    I don't remember and I don't know.

    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal?

    No.

    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?

    I have heard/seen enough about some cases.

    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?

    They often have a mess about their priorities, can be prone to just be sitting and rubbing their legs against each other while dressed or something like that. We also have a messed up society.

    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?

    None in more than a year!

    7)Best place to shop?

    I don't remember any.

    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther.

    No idea, at least not if I'm over 70 kilos.

    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover?

    No, why would I?

    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service?

    I don't even know what's that.

    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing?

    I can't wash anything.

    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)

    Just for work. I prefer staying at home.

    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?

    Real hair for the win!

    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?

    Sort of, it's naturally curly.

    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips?

    No wigs at the moment, unless you can count those cheap cosplay ones.

    16)Have read where some it's a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference?

    No idea, I'm afraid to have a partner or meeting women because of this.

    17) Is there anything you would change if you could.

    Me liking to crossdress.

    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on.

    I guess not.

    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned?

    Don't hide anything in boxes that would otherwise look obviously unused!

    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?

    Surprise me.

  16. #16
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Living in the present
    Posts
    2,563
    1)High heals or flats?
    Heels - like stilettos but can't manage them any more.
    2)How often for how long?
    As often as possible - especially when at home.
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal?
    Then it wouldn't be CDing, would it? It is my dream, though!
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?
    N/A
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?
    'Deserve' is the wrong word. 'Should be allowed to' is a better phrase. Freedom to do what makes you happy. If one allows his wife lots of freedom, then one might expect the same degree of freedom in return. The flip side of the coin is selfishness. From either or both party. Communication is key. And the willingness to accommodate one another. "Deserve" implies selfishness, which I feel is wrong. It also implies, at least for me, ignorance. I could go on ….
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?
    Very little … I have a small wardrobe.
    7)Best place to shop?
    Matalan.
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther.
    I would love to wear a red dress to church this Sunday, which is Pentecost. Won't though. Will wear an orange top under a loud, red, Hawaiian shirt. Looking forward to it. Roll on the day when no-one will care what someone else is wearing.
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover?
    No. Although my first skirt was bought from a woman who ran a specialist shop for CDers like me.
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service?
    Acceptance from the staff is a big plus.
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing?
    I was in a bubble with my sister and brother-in-law. No dressing for me.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)
    N/A.
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?
    My real hair is too short. Don't really care for wigs either. Find them uncomfortable to wear.
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?
    N/A.
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips?
    I have four wigs. Each is completely different form the others. One is short and grey-flecked. Another is short and brunette. A third is longer (shoulder-length)and brunette. The last is longer and auburn. I like them all.
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference?
    I'm happy to be able to indulge myself on my own right now. Getting K on board was hard work! Also, her degree of acceptance fluctuated. Problematic.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could.
    I wish I had known back in the 70s and 80s what I know now. My marriage might have survived.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on.
    I love stockings and high heels. Wish I had more pair of shoes. Limited budget now that I have retired.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned?
    Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Don't be a selfish git!
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?
    Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why?

  17. #17
    Senior Member kayegirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    West Yorkshire England
    Posts
    1,103
    1. Both depends on where I am going, and what I am going to do
    2. All day flats or heels.
    3. Not for me .
    4. N/A
    5. I cannot comment for others, but it does not apply in my case.
    6. Can vary, but over last couple of months zero.
    7. Leeds city centre, or Boundary Mills outlet store. But never on line.
    8. I'm not a slave to fashion so for me it would make no difference.
    9. Yes
    10, Greater experience to see what can be achievable and an opportunity to learn some techniques wit has makeup. Also what outfits or presentation works for the individual. Only concern, the cost.
    11. Other than being staying at home, not that much really. Although extra time in the garage doesn't lend itself to wearing dresses or skirts.
    12. Just have to grin and bear it. No point in letting it get you down.
    13. Real hair, but I do have some wigs.
    14. My hair is naturally curly, and really takes its own style. Tips, shampoo 2 days then conditioner on the 3rd, and avoid too hot with the dryer.
    15. I suppose that my wigs are all similar in style and colour. I have tried different looks, but come back to my preferred look. And I use the same supplier.
    Wig tips, look after them, regular washing, store correctly, and buy the best that you can afford.
    16. name
    17. Where to start.??
    18. I do have a love for some videos tagged fashions, but not to the point of being a collector.
    19. You can be whatever, or whoever you want to be.
    20. na

  18. #18
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    1,912
    1)High heals or flats? Flats to blend, heels to play.
    2)How often for how long? Heels? Maybe once a month, 3 to 5 hours
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? No, I don't think so.
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? NA
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? I have no idea and asked that myself. I don?t get it either.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? Not much, monthly average probably about $20.
    7)Best place to shop? Costco, Kohl's, thrift shoes, and volume shoe stores.
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. Yes I would wear dresses/skirts more.
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? No
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? NA
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? DADT, no personal space or time to dress.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now). A few more beers.
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? If I could afford real hair I would buy it or a nicer synthetic! I have cheap wigs. LOL
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? NA
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? No
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? I like where I am at, so I am good.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. Not really, no.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. I need to simply cut down on the volume of what I have. I used to like over the top things, but not so much anymore, I like just to blend.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? People out there aren?t as mean as you may think, just be respectful.
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? You are doing a pretty good job so far
    Last edited by BrendaPDX; 05-29-2020 at 06:19 PM.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    738
    1)High heals or flats?
    Both. I have about sixty pairs of shoes, more heels than flats.
    2)How often for how long?
    I dress two to four times a month. I go out three to five times a year.
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal?
    Nope, not at all. I like the pretty clothes.
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal?
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?
    I dunno.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?
    About 700 to 1000 dollars a year.
    7)Best place to shop?
    For me, Macy?s. I shop in many places, all of them where I get into the fray with the GGs.
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther.
    I would go with dresses.
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover?
    Yes, a Glamour Shots photo shop in a mall.
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service?
    They do a good job on the presentation. They put a dent in my wallet.
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing?
    Killed it completely. Wife openly fights it. Last time I dressed was in February.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)
    I grit my teeth and bear it. The last time I was out and about was a visit to a big city 360 miles (500km) away. I drove back en femme also.
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?
    Wigs. I have real hair but not enough to be convincing.
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips?
    For my long wig, I like a style pulled back and secured with a hair ornament. For my short wig, I like a bob. See Rose City T-Girls for a photo. In my dirndl, my only photo on this forum, I styled my long wig in milkmaid braids. Tips: a clean wig is a happy wig. Be gentle and a wig will last longer. Wigs and wind do not play nice together. Spend on a good quality wig. It pays off.
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference?
    Solitary. Sooner or later, wives and partners, in my observation, decide that God retired and they now have His job. Including them in this activity will not go well with me. This is true for a lot of activities for me.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could.
    More peace and quiet.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on.
    Sixty pairs of shoes will not let me ignore this question. Outfits: I generally try to dress on the higher side of blending in.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned?
    Lighten up and enjoy it. Never, never, never tell your wife. Get a place like a storage unit that she will never find and do your thing there.
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?

  20. #20
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Mid-Atlantic
    Posts
    416
    1)High heals or flats? Heels
    2)How often for how long? Huh?
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? Nope
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? N/A
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? We deserve to be who we are
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? Over the last 20 years about 50 bucks a year
    7)Best place to shop? Was Dress Barn, now for me, Macy's
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Yes
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? Oh yes!
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? Looking amazing vs costing a lot
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? Fewer chances
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) NA
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? Wigs
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? NA
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? Explore different styles at dressing services, that was fun
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? Maybe sharing would be nice
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. Acceptance would be nice
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. Nothing special
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? Trying on the clothes in the store is the way to go
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? Nope

  21. #21
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Metro East area near St. Louis, Missouri
    Posts
    1,764
    1)High heals or flats?

    Heels

    2)How often for how long?

    As often as I can for as long as I can?

    My highest streak was seven days in a row, some days dressed for only part of a day, others for the full day. That's probably about the longest I'd like to go.

    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal?

    No. I've had the urge since I was about 7, and I don't see that changing.

    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? N/A

    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it?

    I don't believe my wife has to accept it but I would sure prefer if she were more tolerant (and she is fairly tolerant.

    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing?

    Including my trips, clothes, and the like, probably $1,500/year (= $30 weekly average).

    7)Best place to shop?

    Nordstrom.

    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to?

    Yes

    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover?

    No. Just Sephora, but that was really good.

    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service?

    N/A

    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing?

    Few chances to get out and do what I want.

    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now)

    I've made do with a couple of times out and photo shoots in my bedroom.

    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ?

    Wigs. My boy hair is short.

    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips?

    N/A

    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips?

    I bought my current wig at a wig shop. Went in dressed (wearing an older wig), tried some on, bought the one that worked for me.

    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference?

    I wish my wife would go out with me, because that would be a greater level of acceptance (and hopefully assuage her fears that people react negatively to me), but it's not gonna happen.

    17) Is there anything you would change if you could.

    Gone out a long time before I did.

    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on.

    I like dresses, so I tend to buy them.

    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned?

    I was afraid of torches and pitchforks and found acceptance and made friends.

    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time?

    Nyet.

  22. #22
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    12,771
    1)High heals or flats? Heels
    2)How often for how long? Once a month for 5-6 hours.
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? No.
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? N/A
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? My wife does accept it and made sure before we became serious.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? $100 or so a month.
    7)Best place to shop? Macys.
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. Have no desire for dressing to become androgynous. I like it the way it currently is.
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? Yes.
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? Pros are you look great, Cons I can't reproduce it.
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? No time alone so I cannot dress.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) Pretty sad I have not been able to attend local meetups.
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? Wig.
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? N/A
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? I like medium length red hair wigs.
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? My wife goes out with me, but if she didn't I would not be upset. Sometimes I just like to be alone.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. More time to dress.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. I have a few vintage slips.
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? You are not hurting anyone by dressing and suppressing it only hurts you.
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? No
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  23. #23
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    1,867
    Interesting series of questions Di.

    1)High heals or flats? Flats. Heels don't work for my feet and they are always way too tight because I have feet that are a bit like a beaver tail or swim fin. I have male feet (but they do not define my identity )

    2)How often for how long? I rarely dress because for me it is more recreational. The female-like behaviors are more important to me than the expression. Probably a consequence of being intensely non-binary and the fact that I reject the stereotypical male and female gender dichotomy. To me, we are all a blend and complying with the binary concept tends to be and create a stereotype that is not represented in Nature but is a fabrication based on an assumption that gender identity follows sexual identity rather than a more natural condition where they are more separate in the operation of our brains where all behavior originates.

    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? I don't think so, because the binary concept of gender is deeply embedded in many human cultures and, unfortunately, I doubt that is going anywhere anytime soon.

    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? Sorry, I don't understand what you are asking. I guess I would say, we are all different and exactly how we deal with things is unique to us and us alone. If you are a man and want to wear a dress and be otherwise fairly typically male then you have every right as a living creature to make that choice. And nobody should think anything of it.

    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? What a loaded question But a very good one. To me, that kind of a demand is a masculine/male trait that clashes with a contention of being more female-like, if you are looking at it in terms of binary gender definitions. In non-binary definitions, the blending of male-like and female-like behaviors is justified but may not be acceptable to all because most people tend to think in terms of the gender binary and that gender is somehow defined by the kind of genitals you have. (That connection is an assumption and has never been shown to have much validity in our biology.) And with respect to this specific question I suggest the person who thinks and behaves this way to their wife might want to try a mental exercise - turn the table around and see how that feels to have your wife demand that you simply accept something that she does that is extraordinary and you don't approve of. If you are honest in the exercise it can be a real eye opener.

    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? Very, very little.

    7)Best place to shop? Woman Within. Not only nice casual wear that appeals to me but I kind of identify with the name of the company.

    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. Excellent question. I don't think it would really change that much presumably because men and women would be free to choose whatever they wish to wear and fits their mood or the situation at the time or their sense of self. I think the conceptual/legal standard would shift from what you should wear to be acceptable and some crossing the boundary to sometimes make a statement, for example, "I may be male but inside I am more of a kind of woman inside" to a world where people will wear whatever they like and looks good and feels right. Much more freedom of expression; much less expectation that you wear what is socially acceptable in meeting the expectations with regard to what you presumably Are based on your sex. "Androgynous fashion" doesn't work for me conceptually because psychological androgyny is defined by a presumption that the sexual binary defines and determines a gender binary. That may not be the case in the reality of the way our brains are actually configured, but can be accepted because of the action of brain plasticity. That said, in a practical sense the psychological androgyny perspective is fine because in a society based on a gender binary it is about the only way to express thinking that says "we are all a blend" of "male" and "female." So, most people would not change anything, but some would be free to dress in a way that is more consistent with the way they felt when they got up in the morning and not having to fit an expectation that they do this or that based on what anatomy happens to be present in their crotch which nobody can see anyway. They would be free to be themselves within limits of decency that must always be a consideration. The world would become more like those places where being different is completely acceptable and, in the case of the two-spirit tradition, is considered be indicative of a person who can maybe be a spiritual leader because, unlike most, they can understand and live both sides of maleness and femaleness.

    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? No.

    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? Personally I don't see the point because it all washes off.

    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? No effect.

    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) I don't go out and about often so it has had little effect. Didn't go out much even before the pandemic. But the lack of freedom to go somewhere when I want to does bug me. On the other hand, I am not willing to risk my life (I'm 75 with pre-existing conditions) to go have a little selfish fun just because "I Have a Right!" That right comes with a responsibility to not put others in possible danger.

    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? You don't want to see what is under the wig.

    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? n/a

    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? The wig needs to complement the shape of your face and not be selected because it is an intensely fashionable style that simply says "female." Unless, of course that is your intent.

    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? My preference is to respect what my wife feels and thinks. It is only fair. Her feelings are just as important as mine and dictating what happens in either direction is disrespectful of the other person's individuality in terms of actual gender identity and their sense of self. I would like to be able to share it, but my wife is a Binarian when it comes to gender and I am not. It is still workable.

    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. My jeans. Oops, that is supposed to be spelled "genes."

    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. No.

    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? I could write a book on that. But in a nutshell, be respectful of other people's identities and sense of self even if you disagree. This world is controlled by stereotypes on top of a heap of stereotypes and the ability of each person to live by and express their personal identity is stifled as a consequence. The main thing is to try and be kind and gentle to others; try to understand another's point of view; don't pressure others to be this way or that way if it is inconsistent with their personal sense of self (identity). Stereotypical thinking in Western and a lot of Eastern civilization is more illusion than reality and if examined historically is a device to maintain male dominance in a world where the reality is more likely that we are all a blend of female-like, male-like and intermediate traits and characteristics that are unique to each person and is constantly changing as our brains continually rewire themselves to adapt to new experiences, thought processes, and realizations. Because we are all different and unique, we are all equal. Live by that and everything will be fine, for you, your loved ones, and anybody else.

    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? Nope.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Frannie7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    SW Ontario
    Posts
    3,256
    1)High heals or flats? Both. 2-3 " when out 4" at home only.
    2)How often for how long? As long as my feet can take it.
    3) Your opinion-If CDing were done by all and universally accepted, would it lose the appeal? Not for me
    4) A member would like to hear from MIAD members / the questions were what do MIAD deal with and how do they personally deal? N/A
    5) Why do some feel that they deserve to crossdress and that their wives should/have to just accept it? Not sure. I recently told my wife and am not dressing until she says ok. Even grudgingly.
    6)How much money spent daily weekly and monthly on dressing? Varies avg. 100 month only money I make on side. Not community money.
    7)Best place to shop? I use Venus a lot. I can't shop in my city. H $ M as well
    8)If fashion changes and those who complain that women can wear anything get their wish and it is socially acceptable to wear dresses, would you actually want to? Or would dresses become the new androgynous fashion, and they'd simply push the boundaries farther. I think I would stick with dresses
    9)Have you ever gone to a dressing service for a makeover? Yes, at the beginning but wouldn't now.
    10) What are the pros and cons of a dressing service? Variety, try clothes one might not normally try. A good place to start trying forms etc.
    11) How has the covid 19 pandemic effected your day to life in regards to dressing? Indirectly, I told my wife about the dressing at the start (I was going to anyway) and haven't dressed since.
    12) For those who go out and about how are you coping? ( a lot of events and venues closed for now) N/A during covid
    13) Prefer Real hair or wigs ? What hair? wigs!!
    14) Real hair do you style it yourself/ hair care tips? N/A
    15) Wigs / do you have a certain style or like exploring different looks / brands. Any wig tips? Shoulder length. Age appropriate if I am going out
    16)Have read where some it?s a solitary thing and they do not want to include the wife or gf. But last questions many said they wished to share it with their partner. What would be your preference? Solitary, it's an escape and freedom for me.
    17) Is there anything you would change if you could. Not really. If I could go out in evening more it would be nice.
    18)Is there anything you collect or drawn to in regards to your dressing? We read how some collect vintage items, shoes and on and on. For home only, clothes that are a little sexier but not too out there. For going out whatever is appropriate and blends. Love shoes
    19)Is there any advice you would give to another cder that you have learned? Be honest early!!!
    20) Any questions you would like me to ask next time? N/A

  25. #25
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    14,303
    (1) If at home heels; 3 1/2 inch, Strolls in the evening; wedge with a two inch rise
    (2) Whenever I have the opportunity. I can wear a 3 1/2 inch heel the entire day. You have to remember at six feet tall the angle is not as great as a five foot two lady
    (3) No, I love the pretty dresses and pretty undergarments. I do NOT wear anything female clothes which have co-opted men's attire; pants. Ugh!
    (4) N/A
    (5) You cannot take the male chauvinist out of some male even if they are dressed as a woman.
    (6) $50-$75 per month on average; more sometimes, sometimes less
    (7) Ebay; lots of vintage panties and slips. Reasonanly priced dresses
    (8) I love dresses. I would still want to wear dresses. Based on what I see women wearing now, what else can they wear? Go back to fig leaves?
    (9) No
    (10) N/A; Probably alright for guys terrified of buying anything in person
    (11) Not too much because my wife had a total knee replacement in January which is still keeping her at home. Otherwise, she be out and about and give me at least some fem time. Retirement has been a bummer.
    (12) If I had the opportunity, like Maria 60, I'd be out for strolls wearing a face mask in the evening. Grocery store shopping is an approved activity. Get that Safeway shopping bag out!
    (13) Have to wear a wig; male pattern baldness otherwise
    (14) N/A
    (15) I like shoulder length curly wigs
    (16) If my wife were to be truly accepting, and not just accommodating I would share my desires with her. Otherwise, if I were to accept a begrudging acceptance, no!
    (17) Have an accepting and participating wife
    (18) I collect Vanity Fair panties in three styles. I love the pretty colors and patterns. I enjoy the hunt. In my favorite panty I now, as of last night, have 106 different panties. I love vintage slips but ebay has dried up. I have over 400 full slips in a wife range of discontinued labels; lacy, colorful, etc.
    (19) Find a woman who truly is engaged and do not get married until you're sure she does not view you as a project, i.e., change your ways. It isn't going to work out!
    (20) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.

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