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Thread: Twenty Questions Number 5

  1. #1
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Twenty Questions Number 5

    The first bunch of questions are from members.
    This is just for fun and seeing how we relate and I am writing this as a Member and not a mod.
    As always just put just put N/A if it does not apply.
    Thanks for all the feedback and as long as you all are still enjoying this we will keep it going.
    The last question is where you can put a question for next time or pm me,
    Thanks everyone for joining in,

    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing

    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain.

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ?

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine?

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why?

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you?

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ?

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed?
    explain the above ( pg version)

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ?

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life?

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode?
    Explain the above

    12) Pierced or clip ons?

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this.

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight?

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above?

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ?

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ?

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.?

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give?

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time?
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  2. #2
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
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    Here I go once again!

    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing?

    It's been two quite different things. When I have told friends about this, it tends to go more smoothly and nicely. There's comments of support from them. Now, when it comes to telling my family... Insecurities and more are served in extra large size.

    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain.

    Why would it be different? I don't understand any of this that some of you say. At most, I smile more, but because of how comfortable I feel.

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ?

    No.

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine?

    What's that?

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why?

    I don't really know, except that I have felt it like a failure by me in general. I don't want any trouble.

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you?

    I'd even go to anime conventions cosplaying the girl on my profile pic or other characters from the same works as her (most of those characters are girls).

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ?

    I was born on the '94, so I can skip this one.

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed?
    explain the above ( pg version)

    I don't understand, besides that a majority of men are plain creepy.

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ?

    Funniest thing? I think I rather have a list of close calls and disturbing memories. Though, if it counts, I more or less learnt how to walk with high heels without spraining my ankles or breaking my nose in the process.

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life?

    What is that? Please explain.

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode?
    Explain the above.

    I have no "modes" besides "calm mode", "serious mode" and "paranoid mode".

    12) Pierced or clip ons?

    I'm afraid of piercings.

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this.

    I sometimes would like it not to be a part of me, so I can more easily get rid of it, no more trouble from it. I have plenty threads about self-loathing, guilt, shame and I think even one almost considering something drastic against my own integrity.

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight?

    It never happened to me, I don't go out dressed. Though, I take being mistaken for a woman as a compliment.

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above?

    No idea besides just focusing on what I'm doing.

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ?

    I can't focus well on paranoid mode (?)

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ?

    Supressing it, eliminating it from myself, so I can finally be free!

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.?

    No. I don't understand any of those things of the "girl mode" and "guy mode" some of you say, I simply like to wear some things that usually women wear, just that, I'm not some sort of actor or character.

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give?

    Be careful, prepare your mind and maybe other things if you need. This might be a wild ride.

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time?

    As long as they are not boring, it's fine.

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing
    I have been very nervous in telling anyone at all of my CDing, And all that
    nervousness was really for nothing, Everyone I have told have been totally fine,
    And one friend went in to say, Why didnt you tell me earlier, We could have been
    shopping all these years

    2) Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain.
    Yes, I am still the same person, Same personality

    3) Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ?
    I believe that there was times that I may have done that

    4) Do you have a set beauty routine?
    Not really, Usually get some Raychel time during morning coffee, but other then that, pretty random

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part.
    I dont think so,

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you?
    No I would not live full time. There are still times when there needs to be a guy around.
    But I would certainly dress more often

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about
    sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ?
    Not applicable for me. never thought being 60 would be to young

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed?
    explain the above ( pg version)
    I dont enjoy the attention ever, Never want to be the center of attraction

    9) Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ?

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life?
    No mostly just in guy mode

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode?
    I guess I am more relaxed at home in female mode, so I guess I would be happier then too.

    12) Pierced or clip ons?
    Very Rarely Clip Ons

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this.
    Not really needing or having a reason at this point, Just enjoying life as best as possible

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight?
    I dont go out, so not an issue. The guy me certainly would never be Mis-Gendered.

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above?
    If it were to happen, I would expect I would just shrug it off.

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ?
    Sure, for me there are things that would only be done in guy mode, dressed in a pretty dress and forms, certainly will not be cool working in the shop or mowing the lawn.

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ?
    I would have come out to alot more people sooner

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.?
    They are all friends, and every friend I know know there are 2 different ways that I dress.
    Some have seen both sides.

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give?
    tread lightly and go at their pace

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time?
    Coffee or Tea?
    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Di,
    You really do need to get out more ! how about meeting up for a coffee ?

    1) Really a two part question , friends have been easier than some member of my family .
    2) No , I feel there are subtle changes , how a man acts is different from how a woman acts .
    3) Now I'm separated part of my family are OK with me but there is some avoidance with others on either side .
    4) Nowdays very much so , I feel to do it on a regular basis we do need a routine .
    5) My mother was very upset because she felt she'd failed me , as I was born like it she felt responsible . Otherwise it can't be looked at as a failure , we may fail if we can't come to terms with it .
    6) Despite some family problems I do present female full time .
    7) I can't say life was too bad growing up in the sixties , the point is we didn't know any different , this is a question only asked in hindsight
    8) Male attention doesn't bother me , I can deal with it , I'm not into male relationships so it's not a problem I have to think about .
    9) I could write a book .
    10) No I don't see the point , I go out as Teresa and try and dress appropriately for the circumstances .
    11) No totally uncomfortable and unhappy in male mode , I find it harder to do .
    12) Sorry I'm a little lazy , I'm OK with clipons although I do love wearing earrings .
    13) I now see the clothes etc . as a window to my inner feelings , it's the only way I can express them in the RW .
    14) Being truthful it very rarely happens , in the UK " mate " is used far more and I've been called that few times , possibly no worse than calling a mixed group of people GUYS
    15) My art group freinds do slip up sometimes because some have known me a Terry as well as Terri , a gentle correction is all that's needed but I know there's no malice intended .
    16) The jobs are becoming fewer and fewer , now I have female workwear I make it less of an excuse . I must have looked a sight when I was using my strimmer in some very rough conditions , I was covered from head to toe in debris when my neighbour called me over to have word , we both burst out laughing .
    17) It would be nice to have open acceptance from my son and my grandsons , I'll just have to be patient .
    18) No, the odd friend who find it hard to accpet me aren't true friends as we tend to discover , the friendship isn't open it's on their terms .
    19) Please have the facts sorted as much as you can , for a dad/husband to wear women's clothes is one thing to deal with but to find he wants to transition is totally different . Be honest with yourself so you can be honest with them , personally I wouldn't insult them by calling it a hobby . Finally don't make promises you can't keep .
    20) What about that coffee Di ?
    The real me , no going back.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
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    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ?
    I started dressing around 1953, just trying on my mother's nylons whenever the chance presented itself. From there through the 60s, the only change was I started buying my own stockings. It wasn't until the late 70s that I started expanding to a more complete wardrobe. But to get back to the original question, certainly the biggest difference was the unavailability of the Internet, which has proven a gold mine for so many aspects of CDing. Back then, my biggest concern was, why am I doing this? To get an answer I spent countless hours in libraries, searching through card catalogues and book indexes. The term "crossdressing" wasn't really used, so I had to search for "transvestism". More often than not, it didn't show up either. The upside(?) was that I got to know more about Transvaal than I ever wanted to know. The first real source of great information I finally found was the book, "Men in Love" by Nancy Friday, which didn't come out until 1980. It had an entire chapter on transvestites. What a relief it provided! From there I discovered Letters to Penthouse, which often included letters (probably phony) from CDs. I used to read those in the bookstores. Times have definitely changed for the better.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing - wife said "it's only clothes; I thought you were going to tell me something important"

    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain. - yes; I am the same person in different clothes

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ? - no, people are more important than clothes

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine? - no

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part. - no
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why?

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you? - no, but I would be a full time MIAD

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ? - in the 1970s in the UK I think we were more liberated in our clothing styles (hippy, glam, punk ...)

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed? yes
    explain the above ( pg version)

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ? skirt fell down in front of wife the first time i was "fully dressed"; she laughed!

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life? yes

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode? yes
    Explain the above

    12) Pierced or clip ons? neither

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this - I accept it is part of me.

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight?

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above? - I wish I had a snappy response!

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ? - watch football

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ? only the past

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.? no

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give? - you are doing nothing wrong

  7. #7
    Is it just me or......... Carroll's Avatar
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    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing "what ever floats your bout"

    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain. A little more layed back dressed

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ? No, not really

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine? No

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why? Nope, just what I do.

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you? No

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ? N/A

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed?
    explain the above ( pg version) Happened just once and it was not nice

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ? This goes with #8. Was dressed for a Halloween gig and there was drunk that would not leave me alone, even when he was told I was a guy. He ended up being ejected out of the bar

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life? No

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode? Mostly equal
    Explain the above

    12) Pierced or clip ons? pierced

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this. It is my stress reliever, so to some degree, I have a reason.

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight? Never worried about it.

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above?

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ? Go to work, yard work, car work, and just about anything where I can get dirty is guy mode only. (that and the wife would get pissed if I soiled a dress/skirt/blouse.

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ? Nope!

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.? Nope

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give? Communication

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time? N/A
    Drumming, My other hobby

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing
    Better than expected. Only people I lost were were SO's - and there was more to that than my wardrobe choices.

    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain.
    I'm told I behave bit differently. I think I'm still the same me.

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ?
    Um - no. I find I end up foregoing dressing for family.

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine?
    Nope. Lost cause there.

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why?
    This is an annoying question. It suggests that the asker believes there must be. It's a loaded, negative question.
    is it a failure on your part if you're not fabulously rich, famous, or a star athlete? Or is it maybe that your not after those things?
    If my 'difference' is a failure, it's a failure to crush my own soul and conform to what others have decided I am supposed to be.


    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you?
    Yes.

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ?
    Back when I was in my 'formative' years (50's to early 60's), anything that wasn't plain old "boys are boys and girls are girls" wasn't even on the social horizon. Any deviance from the norm was social suicide. As carefully as I tried to hide my 'otherness', it still leaked out a little. I was usually either picked on or shunned as weird or a sissy. I had very few friends growing up, and learned to be a loner, hiding in books. Acceptance just wasn't there back then.


    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed?
    explain the above ( pg version)
    Haven't gotten much of that. When I'm seen or treated as a female, it's wonderful. When I'm seen or treated as a male in female garb, it hurts.

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ?
    One Halloween, I was dressed as a witch and my first wife and I went to pizza place. A guy working there said he'd never been kissed by a witch before and he wanted me to give him one.
    I declined, of course.

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life?
    Um - jeans and T-shirt are my usual outer look. Both are from the male racks, so I guess I'd say no.

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode?
    Explain the above
    Male is just blah. It's what's safe. It's expected. It's my default mode... especially since my wife isn't exactly fond of my female side.
    Female mode is like snuggling in a fuzzy blanket beside a warm fire while the snowstorm is blowing outside. Warm, content, and happy.

    12) Pierced or clip ons?
    Pierced.

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this.
    I need to dress because it's how I express the inner me. If I can't let myself be free at least a little bit, I'll melt down.

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight?
    Misgendering is a knife through my heart... but understandable, since I don't pass well at all. The worst time for me was when the receptionist at my therapist's office did it. I know it wasn't a deliberate slight, but since I was fully femme, it hurt. And no, I didn't say anything.

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above?
    Silently take it (see above). I wish it didn't bother me so much

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ?
    Not really. I might do dirtier jobs in guy mode simply to avoid messing up my pretty things. BUT - I actually have a work skirt I use for 'kinda dirty' (dusty, not greasy) jobs.

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ?
    Be braver? I'm in a good place and don't want to upset the apple cart. If it could be done, I'd love it if my wife were more on board, but that isn't happening.

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.?
    No.

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give?
    Honesty, understanding that it might be a tough pill for them to swallow, and patience. If it's truly important to you, let them know that. If you can, find a balance between your needs and theirs. If you can't get together on it, you may have to (LOVINGLY!) let go.

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time? Not really.

  9. #9
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    Most of my answers would be no or, not applicable. I'll just answer one question


    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this.

    Dressing is as much a part of me as fishing. As far as why, I am curious and want to know why things are the way they are. There is only one thing i take on faith and even that I have spent years thinking about. And it's no CD or Tg.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I will join in the fun!
    1. Nothing but positive!
    2. A little bit more outgoing since all of this took place but there is only me and no modes anymore!
    3. Never did!
    4. no!
    5. No/N/A!
    6. I do! Trans woman!
    7. I was naive and confused! No internet back then!
    8. I am still very uncertain about this!
    9. Took my crossbody bag off and knocked my wig sideways!
    10. I wear "female" clothing 24/7!
    11. N/A No male mode!
    12. Pierced and love them!
    13. N/A It is just me!
    14. I let it run like water off a duck's back!
    15. Ignore it!
    16. No guy mode!
    17. I would have done all this earlier!
    18. I am out to just about everyone! A few relatives in another state and one friend there as well need to know yet!
    19. Be honest! If you don't know say so do not try to bluster your way thru! Communication is the key!
    20. You are doing fine!

    Hugs to all!
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  11. #11
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing? I haven't told anybody but my wife knows and doesn't want to see me dressed.

    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain. Yes, it's pretty much the same except I think the excitement of being able to dress might make me glow.

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress? No but sometimes I'll think I have an opening to dress and plans change and I end up not being able to dress. I get moody and depressed when I get close like that and the opportunity gets snatched away at the last minute.

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine? I have a feminine grooming routine so in a round about way that would be a beauty routine.

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part. No but it's definitely something I have to do.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer). N/A
    Is this failure a good or bad thing? N/A
    Why? N/A

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you? Yes but I'd have a lot of work to do on myself if I wanted to dress openly. I can't do it half way, I'd have to go all in and be as passable as I possibly can.

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then? I'm closing in on 69 and all I can say is that it would take writing a book to point out all the differences. Young people who have grown up with tolerance, cell phones, and the internet can't even imagine what it was like.

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed? It wouldn't scare me but I don't go out in public at this point so it's currently N/A.
    explain the above ( pg version)

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed? Every time I attempt to apply eyeliner. That is my kryptonite.

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life? I underdress and could never be considered a fashionable person regardless of which gender I identified as. If anyone ever does makeovers, please pick me!

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode? It's more like I don't think about it when I'm busy.
    Explain the above.

    12) Pierced or clip ons? Pierced

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this. I keep going back and forth on this. I want to revisit the talk and when I do I want to be prepared to explain myself. The more I learn the more I realize I don't know and that whatever I am it defies explanation.

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight? I have been misgendered when I wore long hair. No big deal, waitress just bring us our food please.

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above? No big deal.

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode? Drop a mower deck, roll under the vehicle to loosen the oil plug, painting outdoors, I am not thinking of anything but the work in those situations. If I wasn't dadt I could see myself keeping some worn out drab clothes handy.

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change? Too much to list. I wish I had come to terms with this at a younger age and had the courage to assert my right to dress.

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side? I lost 25 years worth of friends when I left a cult 20 years ago and my friends list never recovered. I'm a private person and homebody and dadt so I can't join any groups. In other words, lonely and in therapy.

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give? I need advice as I want to revisit the talk but I'm finding that bringing it up eighteen years later is the hardest hurdle I have ever faced.

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time? You're doing fine, I appreciate the thought provoking posts.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    1,533
    1) Most people are indifferent when I came out.
    2) My personality is pretty much the same when dressed. Just with more twirling
    3) Since I dress most of the time I do not avoid family time to dress. But I do sometimes stay in more than I would in order to stay dressed longer. At one point it was affecting my running since I only wanted to run in my running skirts. I have gotten better about it now that I realized it wasn't worth it to miss out.
    4) My beauty routine is showering
    5) I don't see my CDing as a failure. Might wife might though.
    6) I am out to my family, my job and it doesn't affect my money but it does affect my wife. But I don't want to be female full-time, but I do want to be part femme a lot and hold back some for my wife so if that wasn't there I would be a bit more femme regularly.
    7) I am a 30 something so no elder opinion.
    8) I do not like male attention. I find it creepy.
    9) I don't think anything funny has happened when dressed.
    10) I identify as non-binary and prefer to mix and match femme and male aspects. But to me gender neutral is more when I do male mode (mostly for my wife's sake).
    11) I am happier in female mode but I can still be happy in male mode.
    12) I use clip ons maybe once a month (typically GNOs back when those happened) and don't want to pierce my ears.
    13) Women can wear certain men's clothes without any batting an eye and not need a reason. But for a man to wear women's clothes, you kind of need a reason to make it worth it.
    14) Misgendering doesn't really bother me, but I know I can be confusing Only take a slight when they are being obviously rude but again just move on instead.
    15) Just move on...
    16) Well I won't go up on the roof in a skirt or dress so cargo shorts it is but mostly because I don't want to flash my neighbors. Typically male mode on a bicycle. I am not a fan of wearing the cuter things if I doing something I know will make me sweat (so usually will wear a t-shirt and jean skirt instead).
    17) I wish my wife was more supportive, and she is quite supportive but there is always more isn't there?
    18) All my friends know my fem side. Some of my friends I met through GNO and such only know my fem side though.
    19) I have found communication, honesty and patience are the keys is the key to telling loved ones.
    20) No questions.

  13. #13
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    1,603
    I think I missed a set or two, no matter, here you go.

    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing. NA

    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain. It used to be much more demure, lt's taming down now, kind of blending between the two.

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ? No, not really. But I am looking forward to the end of quarantine.

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine? No

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part. No.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why?

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you? Fulltime, no. Part time yes.

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ? NA

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed?
    explain the above ( pg version) It scares me, not sure what would happen. It surprises me that I do get as much attention as I do on fb.

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ? Our cat at the time freaked out because he didn?t recognize me.

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life? No.

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode?
    Explain the above. Yes

    12) Pierced or clip ons? Clip-ons. Still in the closet.

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this. Never thought about this. No, I don?t need a reason, I just do.

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight? No, this hasn?t happened. I did get totally clocked once by a young lady who literally dropped her jaw, with wide eyes. I didn?t take it too hard, I had just passed with the store clerk.

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above? I was at a small convenience store and on my way out, I just waved nicely at her and drove off.

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ? No, I never really thought about it. But I am mostly a closet case, mostly.

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ? Start earlier and accept myself earlier.

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.? Yes

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give? NA

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time?

    I think you are doing a great job! I love reading the answers

  14. #14
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    829
    Ok, here goes nuthin....

    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing
    N/A
    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain.
    for the most part, yes. I'm me either way. I don't see much of a point trying to "act" like something I'm not.
    That said, I'm pretty reserved and soft spoken anyway. I do try articulate words a bit better.... and swear less. That helps too lol.

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ?
    No

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine?
    As far as dressing in general, it's all or nothing. Makeup wise? Yes, for the most part. I tend to stay with what I think works for me. Sometimes I'll mix it up a little.

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why?
    No

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you?
    Probably...yes. But I would have plenty of days where I just wouldn't care to go through all the hub-bub with the makeup, wig, shape wear and whatnot.

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ?
    N/A

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed?
    explain the above ( pg version)
    The only male attention I've had so far was at my first ever group event at a night club. I went alone, and early, so I could get used to being out and in that type of setting. A male admirer approached me and complimented my coat, which I was holding like my life depended on it lol. I kindly thanked him. We made small talk for a minute or two, then moved on.
    It was really scary lol. But I did appreciate him being kind and non threatening.

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ?
    Usually intentional.
    I try to see humor in everything. And I'm always trying to make my wife laugh. So one night not long ago, she walked into our bedroom one night to find me with bra and forms on, a cami, a pink tutu, and eating frosted mini wheats from the box. All while laying on the bed watching tv.

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life?
    No.

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode?
    Explain the above
    I'm fine with male mode. It's as much a part of who I am as girl mode. (Girl mode is way more fun, though)
    But when I'm in girl mode, everything seems to "align". And I feel more complete, like its how it should be.

    12) Pierced or clip ons?
    N/A

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this.
    I don't need a reason. Sometimes I need it, sometimes I don't. I have noticed that I have pretty much no desired to get girdled up if I'm really stressed out. Sometimes I have to push myself, because it may be my only opportunity for a while.

    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight?
    Oddly enough, it's happened twice. Both at group meet ups at a hotel bar. Two members on two ocassions, both referred to me as "he". Now mind you, we're are all in full fem modes. So no question as to how any of us were presenting. I don't easily get offended, but it did bother me for a few days after.

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above?
    I just kind of brushed it off. They both had said it in ways that they were just unsure how I wanted to be addressed as.
    But as I see it, if someone is clearly presenting females, then they should be referred to as such.

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ?
    I would do everything in girl mode, if I could. But our living situation doesn't allow for that.

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ?
    Not really

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.?
    Yes, separate for the most part. Except for one friend from here that I've met with in both modes. And one Facebook girlfriend I eventually found out I knew from my male side, through a mutual friend.

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give?
    I've only told my wife. (Before we were married). But I had a pretty good idea she would be ok with it. I don't think I would have continued our relationship otherwise, if I had to hide it. Been there, done that.

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time?
    Regardless of how one might present on a daily basis...
    I'm curious to see who identifies as a)crossdresser, b)trans/GD, or c)more gender fluid. (Somewhere in the middle, or a little bit of both).
    "Samm" Sammara Michaels

    I also speak fluent sarcasm

  15. #15
    Girl Power! CrossKimmy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    501
    1) What has your experience, when telling friends and family of your CDing

    NA

    2)Is your personality the same when dressed? If so explain.

    No I am much more happier and sentimental and less sarcastic.

    3)Do you find yourself avoiding family time in order to have free time to dress ?

    Yes, this has proven to be conflicting to me as I love my family time but I need my time as well.

    4)Do you have a set beauty routine?

    Only when I know I will be dressing.

    5) Does your need to crossdress indicate some sort of failure on your part.
    If so, what sort of failure is it? (May be more than one answer).
    Is this failure a good or bad thing?
    Why?


    Not in my mind. It?s who I am.

    6) If there were no negative repercussions with family ,job, or no money concerns, if given the chance to live and present as a female full-time with no repercussions, would you?

    Absolutely I would. This is a no brained for me. It would be a dream come true actually.

    7) ) There are a lot of questions I would like to see discussed among the elders, i.e, those who were raised in the 1950's and 1960's. Young people just do not comprehend anything about sexuality in those decades. Society is so permissive now that I truly think young people do not comprehend.. So would any seniors like to tell us what life was like for them back then ?

    NA

    8) Does male attention scare you or do you enjoy the attention when dressed?
    explain the above ( pg version)

    I?ve had very positive experiences with male attention on chat. But I?ve also had some that did scare me a little. Guys are very strange for sure.

    9)Funniest thing that ever happened while dressed ?

    I?ve had moments where I Forgot how high the heels were hehehe

    10) Do you dress more gender neutral in everyday life?

    I Do not.

    11) Are you the equal amounts happy in male mode as female mode?
    Explain the above

    I am pretty even but I?d be happier if I were presenting as female more.

    12) Pierced or clip ons?


    Clip ons. I?d love cute piercings tho.

    13) My personal opinion , dressing is just a part of you, but many here post about WHY they dress . Do you feel you have or need a reason ? Your thoughts on this.

    Oh yes I need to water that flower occasionally. Unfortunately I can?t be blooming all the time but I definitely need it.


    14)Misgendered when out. It happens sometimes by accident by a harried sales associate ( it?s happened to me) or jerks just trying to well be a jerk .Do you take it as a slight?

    I take it as a slight but with conditions that it was done on purpose.

    15) How do you react, how do you wish you would react to the above?

    Depends on the situation.

    16) Having read here sometimes a member saying they could not do such and such because they were dressed/ implying there are certain things a women does and a certain things a man does.( even going as far of saying if I do that dressed I will lose that spark and have to / shower / change) I just never got that . So are there certain things you would only do in guy mode or girl mode ?

    I would only do auto home repairs in boy mode. Everything else can be in girl mode.

    17) in regards to your cd life is there anything you would change ?

    I would have been more open about it. Tried different things out when I was younger. Gone out to that store En femme.

    18) Friends - Do you have separate groups of friends from your guy side and fem side.?

    Yes those worlds are separate.

    19)For those wanting to have the talk with their loved ones is there any bit of advice you can give?

    NA

    20) Any questions you would like me to next time?

    I just answer them lol
    I'm on my fourteen carats, I'm fourteen carat
    Doing it up like Midas
    I'm on my marquise diamonds, I'm a marquise diamond
    Could even make that Tiffany jealous
    💋 💍

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