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Thread: A watershed moment - and Gigi is born [very long]

  1. #1
    Member Genni's Avatar
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    A watershed moment - and Gigi is born [very long]

    I want to start by saying how much I appreciate this forum and all who participate. Without you, I would not have had the knowledge or courage to take a giant step forward in understanding my own non-binary gender, and possibly in improving my relationship with my wife. I've been a member here for over 4 years, but read much more than I contribute. I apologize for that, and will try to comment more going forward.

    I've shared my background in bits and pieces, but here is a summary: I have been crossdressing since I was quite young, probably around 5 years old, when I found and put on my mother's panties. This evolved into a fetish when I went through puberty. I shared this with my high-school sweetheart, who told me it "didn't matter" and we occasionally incorporated dressing into our "bedroom" (actually back seat of the car) play. She and I married soon after high school and a few weeks or months later she said that it just "wasn't right" and would no longer allow it. That was crushing, and led to a purge. Ultimately, we found ourselves in a DADT relationship for most of what has now been 40+ years of marriage.

    My femme wardrobe built up over the years, and I started underdressing and wearing slightly-on-the-femme-side of androgynous jeans, hosiery, shoes and boots. These drew occasional negative comments from my wife, but didn't lead to any major issues. I do my own laundry to avoid her having to face it. Some GG friends, and one couple know of my crossdressing. The couple are my best friends in the world.

    Now, on to the watershed moment: That couple lives about 14 hours' drive away. They recently bought a fixer-upper home and were on a deadline to finish remodeling and move into it. I offered to drive over and help. I packed much of my femme wardrobe without having solid plans for wearing it, other than to wear some well-used shirts for painting.

    One of my daughters is staying with us while working from home. It happens that her temporarily vacant home is at a good overnight rest stop for the long drive to my friends' place. I managed to work up the nerve to "drive pretty" for the remaining 8-hour drive after spending the night there. I've only been out dressed a few times, and was always incredibly nervous, so this was no easy decision. Somewhere during that pretty drive I asked myself why I couldn't remain en femme for the duration of the trip. I took it one day at a time, each morning deciding to dress again. It was a wonderful 2 weeks! My friends and their "community" of other friends could not have been more accepting or supportive.

    I was consistently met with kindness or professional courtesy during countless building-supply store runs with my GG friend. I can't imagine that I'm all that close to "blending," let alone passing. The highlight of my trip had to be pedicures with my friend and her GG friend that was also helping with the house project.

    The icing on the cake is - I told my wife about this after I got home. She was not angry or upset, but took the news calmly. She asked if the couple had known about my crossdressing already (they had), but she had no other questions. She acknowledged that this was important to me, and even apologized for not being able to participate. However, she had no negative comments when I showed her the pictures. In my book, that was a huge win!

    I apologize for the long post, but am excited to share my adventure and progress with you. Also, my GG friend renamed me "Gigi" while presenting femme. I had asked her for some help since Genni never felt just right. Look for a name change for me here shortly.

    Gigi / Genni

  2. #2
    Senior Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Hi Gigi,

    That sounds like a wonderful experience! Thanks for sharing.

    Marion

  3. #3
    Silver Member
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    Driving pretty on long trips is a hoot! You need gas, meals, restroom stops, etc.. And no one knows you!

  4. #4
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Genni,

    Congratulations some times those first successful steps are small. I kinda think that you took one giant leap. That is so great for everyone. keep up that dialogue with your wife when you can, and also with your long distance friends. Maybe they need to visit you after they are done as a thank you trip for your efforts for them and maybe to help you out with your wife. Just be careful that she doesn't feel ganged up against. There is always that very fine line that we must try our best to follow. Thanks for sharing and keep on participating here. Your experiences are just as important as those of the rest of us. I like Genni too, a nice modern spelling of that older name.

    Allie

  5. #5
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing - hope things continue to go well

  6. #6
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    That was quite an immersive experience, especially being able to spend that time with supportive friends. Coming back to your wife and discussing that experience, even sharing pics, took courage on your part and hers. I hope more understanding will result.

  7. #7
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Wow, what an experience. You certainly dove in head first and come out a bit changed. Good reaction from your wife. I suggest you let her ruminate on the event - she may come around to being more accepting. Hard to predict.

  8. #8
    Member Genni's Avatar
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    Thank you all for reading that long post and for your comments. It was a truly life-changing experience as Marrion (I SO admire your figure!), Gretchen and Kim observed.

    Yes, Allie, it was a giant leap indeed, and one that I really didn't plan to take. It felt risky see the time, but the gamble paid off this time!

    Things are continuing to go astonishingly well. I told both of my adult daughters and they were completely supportive, accepting and loving. One said she was completely surprised. I believe the other had some idea (she seriously dated a trans woman during her transition).

    I don't expect that my wife will ever want to see me dressed in person, but she has come a long way toward tolerance. Perhaps that's enough.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Wow! What a story. Congrats on many fronts. For starters, marrying yout high school sweetheart and staying together for 40 years is quite a feat. Then spending 2 weeks enfemme with a very accepting group of friend and not getting ing flack from your wife when you told her about it. I'm so happy for you. Thanks for sharing.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I've always thought of my crossdressing experiences like taking a swim in cold water.

    Some walk in inch by in, getting used to the water temperature before walking in deeper. Some just jake a running tart and keep running in until the water is deep enough and then just dive in.

    It sounds like you finally worked up to the latter approach.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  11. #11
    Member Debs's Avatar
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    Great move forward, a very large step, your wife took it a little to easy for my liking, no million questions , or the famous one, who else knows now, hope this works out ok for you, I would keep it calm for a while now, dont push anything, but dont let it slip back into dadt, good luck.

  12. #12
    Member Genni's Avatar
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    Thank you all again for the comments and suggestions.

    We, as a family, are continuing to do very well with my being out. My wife and I went out to breakfast this morning - with me in drab, of course. She brought it up first, mentioning that she had asked our younger daughter (the totally surprised one) how she was feeling about it a day after my coming out. She (younger daughter) had said she was good with it and then she asked her mom how SHE was doing with it... and went on to tell her mom that she could talk with her about anything at any time... and to "choose love!" I could not possibly be more proud! She (younger daughter) had shared this with her boyfriend who basically responded with "meh." I had told them they are welcome to share with those whom they trust.

    So far, so good!
    Gigi

  13. #13
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Hi Genni, Congratulations on a wonderful trip, I am very happy for you. It sounds like you have very good friends and they had no problem accepting you. Good luck and thanks for the post.

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Joyce Swindell's Avatar
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    I liked your post very much. It wasn't too long at all. It said what needed to be said to understand the events.

    This is totally awesome to be able to dress and be yourself more completely than in the past.

    YAY!!!

  15. #15
    New ... Again
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    Great story. I’m happy that by just being YOU, you had a great opportunity to express yourself and share an undoubtedly vast skillset helping your friends renovate.

    It causes me to dream of relocating after retirement as Jenny. Of course total buy-in from my bride of 27 years is required. Twelve years to go to keep the balance and love flowing.

  16. #16
    New Member MissAlexisRae's Avatar
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    I absolutely love this story! It’s great to hear your wife is being so wonderful despite previous objections, but the support from your daughter is what really warms my heart ❤️

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