Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 51 to 75 of 125

Thread: Are we LGBTQ?

  1. #51
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    1,912
    Always the Bridesmaid never the Bride.

  2. #52
    Junior Member Meeshell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    98
    Don’t you find it “odd” that a group, whose very label includes a synonym for “odd” would exclude a man who dresses as a woman for sexual reasons, or don’t they find that “odd”?

    But, seriously, it seems to be the nature of any group to form around a common interest, and then proceed to internally start trying to define who has the “biggest dog in the fight” and establish a hierarchy of who most deserves the group’s attention. For instance, how many times have you seen the sentiment expressed, on this forum, along the lines of: Your issue is contemptible. If only you were (insert personal situation here) like me, you wouldn’t have this issue?

    Do I consider myself LGBTQ? Never really thought much about it. Do I consider myself “trans”? Well… I don’t feel I would define myself as transgender, nor have I, or do I want to transition, but, I would have to say I am undeniably a transvestite at times.

    Although I take umbrage with someone trying to define me by their own experience and observations, I really don’t care what you call me or think I am. I’ll just worry about what I think I am if that’s ok. If you don’t feel I’m a part of your group, then, fine, but, I have to agree with Sarah. Excluding a group of people, who may have a modicum of understanding, and maybe even more sympathy for LGBTQ concerns and challenges, by ostracizing them in a presentation aimed at encouraging tolerance, seems ridiculous and detrimental to the message.

    LGBTQ? Trans? Odd? You decide. I would just like to be pretty once in a while.

    Hugs
    Meeshell
    I'm not a woman trapped in a man's body.
    "not that there's anything wrong with that"-George Costanza
    I just feel pretty in pink

  3. #53
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Orange County, California
    Posts
    3,080
    from the thread ...."And then when later asked specifically about cross dressers inclusion in LGBTQ, their response was that CDs do it for sexual reasons and not part of their identity. So No." Doing it for sexual reasons includes gays and lesbians.Personally, the "Trans umbrella" does cover CDers as well.

  4. #54
    Aspiring Member Territx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    Houston, TX
    Posts
    785
    I know this is important to some people, but it really comes down to how you want to define the groups . . . and yourself; so maybe you fit in someone's definition and maybe you don't. For example, when you are dressed you may have tendencies that move you towards gay or bisexual interests that you do not have in drab mode. That might put you within one of the definitions -- so I just see it as being a very subjective issue.

    For me, Carla has the best summary . . . and attitude about this issue.
    I am what I am and also what I am not!

  5. #55
    Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Cincinnati
    Posts
    343
    I consider myself to be under the LGBTQ umbrella, broadly defined. While I am married to a woman, I don't think that defines me -- "straight, but not narrow", perhaps. If my spouse were more accepting, I would present more feminine more often, both at home and out in the world.

    I am surprised that an LGBT advocate would be kicking allies out of the tent.

  6. #56
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    4,410
    Quote Originally Posted by Meeshell View Post
    Don’t you find it “odd” that a group, whose very label includes a synonym for “odd” would exclude a man who dresses as a woman for sexual reasons, or don’t they find that “odd”?
    Makes perfect sense for people who dress just for sexual reasons to not be included. For them it's just another kink. The S&M crowd and countless other sexual kinks are not included.

  7. #57
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,053
    I think I agree that drag is more performance art than gender identity. But most of us in this forum aren't doing drag. We are expressing our inner femininity and it places us on the transgender continuum. Whereas many people tend to think in binary terms, ie either you are or you're not. Like a light switch. Gender identity is really a continuous variation, like a dimmer switch. Some of us have only a small desire for feminine presentation while in others the feeling is so strong that they feel it imperative to pursue SRS. And everything in between. In that woman's binary thinking, you only qualify as trans if you are in the latter group. Big mistake. Ignore her and live your life as you see fit and don't think too much about labels.

  8. #58
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,630
    Quote Originally Posted by Megan G View Post
    Right from glaad?s website (https://www.glaad.org/transgender/transfaq)

    ? Transgender is a term used to describe people whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. Gender identity is a person's internal, personal sense of being a man or a woman (or boy or girl.) For some people, their gender identity does not fit neatly into those two choices. For transgender people, the sex they were assigned at birth and their own internal gender identity do not match.?

    So with that said since you all identify firmly as males, your gender identity matches your birth gender..... you do not belong under the ?transgender? label. I?ve seen stuff that does include you but honestly if you read above you can see why this is not possible.

    As for being a part of the LGBT...... unless your gay than again the answer would be no...... your a bunch of heterosexual dudes that like to dress up..... that?s it....and nothing to be ashamed about..
    What an ugly and bigoted statement. First off ?we all? don?t identify as males. There are MANY of us who identify differently. There is a whole section for trans people for God?s sake! Second, there are also gay and bisexual members here. And ?dudes that like to dress up? is dismissive, ignorant, and the closest thing to outright hate speech I?ve ever seen on this site.

  9. #59
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Location
    I am part of everything.
    Posts
    2,458
    Quote Originally Posted by Natalie5004 View Post
    [..]Therefore I am a part time Transvestite.[...]
    I'm sorry, but that's a bit like saying someone's half dead or partly pregnant.

    You may dress part time, but you know there is no off switch. Might as well own it.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  10. #60
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2018
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    57
    Thanks for everyone for sharing your thoughts! I wish I could like or comment to everyone but such is the forum design.

    It seems pretty split about whether or not CDs are included in LGBTQ, or even want to be.

    I?ll leave it at this. To narrowly define Crossdressers as only doing it for sexual reasons is wrong. We are males who on some percentage of our lives dress like females and even wear wigs, forms, and take a female name. Maybe we are just a lower case t? Haha

    Seriously though, we face similar self and societal acceptance. If we haven?t felt same hate & discrimination as most LGBT that?s likely because we hide it so well. We may be the last group still so deep in the closet?

    If heterosexual, we?ve always been able to marry the one we love, but as so clearly shown in a pinned thread, getting SO acceptance & support is still a major hurdle for us.


    Again- thanks everyone for chiming in!

  11. #61
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    673
    I'll never understand why y'all are so intent on putting everyone into neat little boxes, I remember as a kid when playing in cardboard boxes I used to always end up tearing the box open.
    I am more complicated than your label.
    Last edited by KimberlyJean; 06-17-2020 at 06:40 PM.

  12. #62
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Wherever there is a Sale or Macys, but mostly Baltimore MD
    Posts
    3,368
    Whats the difference between a Crossdresser and a Transsexual ? ...................... Time.


    That was my first real conversation with a longtime friend when I finally took my first steps out of the closet. At the time I found it an amusing anecdote. Now years later I find it a truism for a lot of people.
    For myself I would have transitioned if not for some medical issues. Also there have been many here who have made the journey. At times I envy those who find peace with transition.
    This is just my observation.
    Kelly DeWinter
    Find Kelly at:
    Kelly's Blog
    Flicker
    [COLOR=#2e8b57

  13. #63
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    2,544
    Roberta, pretty hard to stuff all of us in one box. I can't say I am transgender. Certainly have no interest in going that far. CD'ers fall into all kinds of groups, straight, sexual play, to those that desire to transition.

    I am in the middle somewhere. No interest in transitioning, enjoy the "play" side of CD'ing, but still wonder if I don't have some female genetics floating around inside. I don't feel I fit into the LGBT alphabet.

    As for the speaker mentioned by the OP, I find it hard for them to rigidly exclude CD'ers as some definitely fit into the LGBT somewhere. Perhaps, in her mind, at that point they are gays or queer that crossdress.

  14. #64
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    Location
    Mid-Atlantic
    Posts
    416
    Quote Originally Posted by Genni View Post
    I can't say if "we" are part of the LGBTQ community, but I am. The most apt description I could come up with for myself is "fem-leaning gender fluid." Physically I'm male, and sexually I'm straight, but I am somewhere on the transgender spectrum. My preferred pronouns are he/him or she/hers consistent with how I'm presenting. Transgender is not all-or-nothing. You get to decide what label, if any, fits you.
    Yup.

    If I was just a guy who was just wearing some clothes, why do I desire my hips to be wider and my chest to be chestier? Why does it warm the heart to have someone say something about how feminine a picture of mine seems to them?

  15. #65
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    British Columbia
    Posts
    2,108
    What that discussion really underlined is that a lot of people still think crossdresser = fetishist. It is deeply ingrained. I think it is why I am presumed to be full time trans by people I talk to, because I am outside in public and not wearing miniskirts and hooker heels (an oft quoted trope on this site). I do have to admit I do not give a jot one way or the other, I have zero time for activism and identity politics. Free yourselves of these linguistic shackles!

  16. #66
    I can only be me Samm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    937
    Quote Originally Posted by Genni View Post
    I can't say if "we" are part of the LGBTQ community, but I am. The most apt description I could come up with for myself is "fem-leaning gender fluid." Physically I'm male, and sexually I'm straight, but I am somewhere on the transgender spectrum. My preferred pronouns are he/him or she/hers consistent with how I'm presenting. Transgender is not all-or-nothing. You get to decide what label, if any, fits you.
    I stopped reading this thread after this post, and before my head explodes. Well said, Genni!
    "Samm" Sammara Michaels

    I also speak fluent sarcasm

  17. #67
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    147
    I take back everything I wrote in my two posts except that what I wrote applies to me. I am trans and that makes me "T". However, while there are bright lines,such as, you are gay or bi or some other label, this isn't written in law. There is no clubhouse or secret handshake or special discounts. If you feel that you are outside of the main pack and relate to LGTBQ, then I guess you do. This is all about self-identity and you decide that for yourself.

    Robin
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

  18. #68
    Junior Member bobbi1957's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Posts
    35
    for me i dress as a woman and feel like a woman when dressed. my life would be torn apart if i did transition,so i wont , but i am transgender

  19. #69
    Home girl in the main LucyLondon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Oxfordshire, UK
    Posts
    38
    Why does society feel the need to pin a label on everyone?!

    I dress in fem clothes cos I prefer them to drab, I'm married to a great wife who accepts that side of me at home. I have no need to be a full time girl, sexually when in guy mode I want women, when in girl mode I want men, does that make me bi? well yes it probably does, but do I feel the need to identify as anything other than me, well no I don't!
    Lucy

    God invented Silk and Lace, So lets wear it!

  20. #70
    Member Vale's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    148
    I think labels are best understood in the specific context in which they are used. Membership can change depending on the specific context. Let us take the context of the recent us Supreme Court ruling in LGBTQ as an example. In my reading, the majority opinion states that if you are fired for doing something that a person of a different sex would not be fired for, that is sex discrimination. So if a man gets fired for wearing skirts to work, skirts that would be acceptable on a women, that is discrimination. So in that context that person is a member of the protected LGBTQ class. In other contexts that person may not fit in the LGBTQ class. Membership is context sensitive.
    As a second example, I only fit in the class football fan on Super Bowl Sunday. At other times I do not fit in that label. Regards, vale

  21. #71
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Posts
    654
    At the end of the day the old saying you can call me anything as long as long as you don't call me late for dinner. Or in the case of crossdressers in the eyes of LGBTQ, you can not allow me under your umbrella and it doesn't mean much in the big picture. Some very good points were made that crossdressers should be included and I think we rightfully could be.

    For me it's kind of a moot point because I pinched my ticket to that club in another way but there aren't any Pride parades up here in a one feed mill town and I'm not big on being any kind of activist for any causes.

  22. #72
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Posts
    4,410
    Quote Originally Posted by Pumped View Post
    Roberta, pretty hard to stuff all of us in one box.
    Not a box, an inclusive umbrella that covers everyone from fetish crossdressers to post-op transexuals.

    The only reason I can think of why so many here do not want to be included in this umbrella is transphobia.

  23. #73
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    Southern Ontario
    Posts
    213
    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    What an ugly and bigoted statement. First off ?we all? don?t identify as males. There are MANY of us who identify differently. There is a whole section for trans people for God?s sake! Second, there are also gay and bisexual members here. And ?dudes that like to dress up? is dismissive, ignorant, and the closest thing to outright hate speech I?ve ever seen on this site.
    Was coming here to say exactly the same thing, Micki.

    The two parts that hurt the most were: "you all identify firmly as males" and "your a bunch of heterosexual dudes that like to dress up". Who said that was me? Or anyone on this forum? How remarkably callous, dismissive, and assumptive are those two statements? Wow, I just had to shake my head in amazement and sadness. And you wonder why some CDers like me hide in a closet? Because of statements like that meant to shame me. Guilt me. Dismiss me. Attitudes just like those, or the tropes that it's nothing more than a sexual fetish thing, or I must be secretly gay.

    Megan ... Not sure why the falling back to definitions that clearly do not account for a wide spectrum of emotional and physiological feelings. I identify in so many ways I can't put myself into a simple silo. I am "straight" I guess, but "bi-curious" at other times. I dress for so many reasons at different times and depending on my mood ... to feel pretty, relaxed, calm, to express a feminine side of me, and sometimes for (self) sexual pleasure too. Dysphoria, who knows? It varies as well; for example, I do not want to be a woman full time, but want to feminine sometimes. So what does that make me?

    A complex dynamic human being with emotions that does not fit into any one definition, especially that one. I do NOT identify as fully male, despite my sex and outward appearance. Julia is inside me as sure as I breathe. I am heterosexual? Physically, yes, to date, but mentally and as my bi-curious nature grows? Who knows? But I sure as hell am not a dude that likes to dress up. To call me, or anyone else that without considering the person's uniqueness, is horribly offensive and emotionally in really poor taste. That hurt, hun.
    Last edited by JuliaGirl; 06-18-2020 at 11:26 AM.
    Closeted for 45 years, so please take any advice I might offer with a massive dose of reality.
    Julia xo

  24. #74
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    45
    I?ve got no desire to transition but also believe LGBTQ is all about challenging gender norms and binary definitions so very happy to identify as trans or queer

  25. #75
    Member Miel GG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2020
    Posts
    422
    From a GG's POV...

    In view of social condemnation (which is the first level of discrimination), I am puzzled by the repeated fight between minorities...Instead of searching the lowest common denominator indispensable to achieve a wide grouping !

    I believe that the LGBT+ label is already inclusive...But maybe you can all (CDs and Trans') agree to federate under MOGII (Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identities and Intersex) or GRSM (Gender, Romantic and Sexual Minorities) flags wich are more inclusive : no label because everyone is included (CD, genderfluid, genderqueer, non-binary...to trans').

    Just for fun I will add that some historians said that DRAG was used to mean petticoat... Finally don't all MtF love petticoat ?!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State