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Thread: I love hanging out with the girls. Err--- guys? Uh---T's!

  1. #1
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Question I love hanging out with the girls. Err--- guys? Uh---T's!

    Ok, I'm considered transgender/sexual under the umbrella meaning of the words. And, at one time, I fit the classic definition of those terms.

    But, that was ions ago. Now, I consider myself a closet CD at best. And, possibly just a female impersonator.

    But, that not withstanding, I've come to enjoy socializing with dressers of any and all degrees of transness!

    Honestly, I'm not very outgoing or social. In my first 50 years, before I suddenly began dressing out of the blue, I had to force myself to go out to social situations. Practice makes perfect. And, in time I got more and more comfortable. However, I've always found vanilla group conversation to be mostly boring. Or stupid, even! Whether the group was mostly men or women.

    Altho, I pretended to listen. I was rarely interested in their droll topics!

    But, I can't recall ever feeling that way with dressers. U never know where the conversation will lead in group of trans. Especially after a couple of drinks! And, one on one T chats can be absolutely nerve racking, tear jerking, or heart rending!
    But, rarely ever boring!

    I've met 100's of T's at countless club and scheduled T events.
    Anyone else out there that goes out often with other T's get what I mean?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  2. #2
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Sherry,

    Like you Sherry, I started late in life from, for me, a true zero point in 2006, and I was almost 60 years old! I never crossdressed before, except for Halloween as an older kid and a big, full out adult costume party where I dressed completely as a woman, a regular everyday woman and did all the things that I had seen cis-women do, like dance with the men, let the men buy my drinks and, use the women's restroom! After that, I was super happy with myself, how the evening went, and I told everyone I wanted to do that again and then never did. That was in 1982!

    In 2006, once I dressed completely and saw myself in a mirror, I knew that I wanted to go out like I did at that party and have a good time doing what I did as a male, bit by bit. I found this site early on, looked for someone local or visiting here, the San Francisco Bay area, had success and the rest is history. Most of my true going out at night friends and acquaintances are somewhere under that Transgender umbrella. The actual number of friends is very large now and includes many cis-gender people who I like enjoy being around and like me too.

    Totally different from you, I love meeting and talking with people. I specifically look for new and hopefully interesting strangers to approach and talk with. Being an extrovert makes all that very easy for me and extremely enjoyable. I like to talk and go deep, meaning share intimate information with others as they share theirs, and they do almost every time. I now have my core group that expands at larger gatherings and sometimes is just us having dinner and drinks at a favorite wine bar.

  3. #3
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    Sherry,
    That's where I score , I don't need to socialise solely with the TG community being accepted in the RW is wonderful for me , I love my art as you can see from my avatar so I can happily enjoy it with like minded people as Teresa or Terri to them .

    Your dressing is almost all consuming , it's all or nothing , I would never consider it a hobby but maybe you need something else in your life .

    I'm very much like Allie , I need to socialise with people being more extrovert , this lockdown has been hard but obviously necessary.
    Last edited by Teresa; 06-22-2020 at 06:32 PM.

  4. #4
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    A friend of mine who is a post-op transsexual got to a point in life where was was frustrated with the cis people she was told she "needed" to be around by her therapist. She said she liked being around crossdressers because they are more fun.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    While meeting others from our our broader community is always to be welcomed and enjoyed for me one of the great things about going out enfemme is meeting those outside it.

    Having those however fleeting moments when I interact with someone and I know that they're not phased or in anyway judgemental, they just engage with me the person are the best moments. It's an affirmation that I'm not weird, a freak, strange or odd, just someone going about their business.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    I understand, but no, I would rather hang with my friends in the RW. Maybe you need new friends? I would be bored hanging with CDs/TSs or whatever all the time, it is one of the reasons I rarely go to group anymore.

    I'm the same, sort of, in the past I would have to force myself to do things, with time it gets easier.

    Now I can go anywhere and do. Isn't this what a lot of the tears are about? Living life, being accepted/treated as a woman, by friends and the public?

    I do see it would be hard for the public to look passed how you represent/look.

  7. #7
    New Member MissAlexisRae's Avatar
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    I used to LOVE hanging out with my trans friends because I was somewhat out and they were the ones where I could truly be my full self. After a while it started to get painful as my divorce/custody situation prevented me from going out as a girl. I’d still hang out with them, but felt a lot of shame and eventually bitterness at not having their freedoms.

    Sadly, my best trans friend & primary connection to that group moved out of state, so now that I’m back in this world I don’t have those connections anymore. Hopefully I’ll make new ones one day lockdown ends.

  8. #8
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Allie and Teresa, my biggest issue is feeling fake and ugly when I go out without a mask on. I don't feel confident, or even comfortable. Putting on a mask changes thot. But, alienates most people. Only trans that know me without a mask on don't bat an eye when I put one on for photos. I'll never experience what u do when you're out among the muggles. Except at Halloween!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jean 103 View Post
    I understand, but no, I would rather hang with my friends in the RW. Maybe you need new friends? I would be bored hanging with CDs/TSs or whatever all the time, it is one of the reasons I rarely go to group anymore.

    I'm the same, sort of, in the past I would have to force myself to do things, with time it gets easier.

    Now I can go anywhere and do. Isn't this what a lot of the tears are about? Living life, being accepted/treated as a woman, by friends and the public?

    I do see it would be hard for the public to look passed how you represent/look.
    Yes, it is, Jean. And, it's often even harder for ME to go out to vanilla venues dressed without a mask!

    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlexisRae View Post
    I used to LOVE hanging out with my trans friends because I was somewhat out and they were the ones where I could truly be my full self. After a while it started to get painful as my divorce/custody situation prevented me from going out as a girl. I’d still hang out with them, but felt a lot of shame and eventually bitterness at not having their freedoms.

    Sadly, my best trans friend & primary connection to that group moved out of state, so now that I’m back in this world I don’t have those connections anymore. Hopefully I’ll make new ones one day lockdown ends.
    Early on I tried attending T events not dressed. Because of my discomfort going out dressed without a mask, Miss. But, everyone there either ignored me or treated me like a had the plague!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  9. #9
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Hi Sherry,

    I am definitely not a world traveler like you, but I do get around more than most since I have been to about 20 lbgtq bars and clubs around the country so far. Although I have not sought out other Ts as you might say, I have had fun conversations with a number. I just do not come across a high percentage in the clubs I have been to. Regardless, I like talking with everyone when I go out dressed and like you and AllieSF in particular , I find that people very quickly spill their guts so to speak - especially the women. I never had that happen when in male mode - ever. I have to say it has been a lot of fun. I guess that is one of the reasons I am into the social aspects of dressing. I realize it is not for everyone, but I think it is great. I just hope things get back to normal some day as I miss going out.

    Perhaps the venue of being at a drag show loosens peoples lips especially after a few drinks. Let?s just say the drag queens running the show typically talk on the risqu? side, so it no one is really shocked about where conversations go after that. It is never boring that is for sure. My only regret is I wish I had had the opportunity at a much younger age.

    Sandi

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Is that you, the public, or a bit of both, the mask thing.

    And this is from someone that has met you both ways.

    I don't care for large groups of people in general. I prefer the closer relationships I have with my friends and others.

  11. #11
    New Member MissAlexisRae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    Early on I tried attending T events not dressed. Because of my discomfort going out dressed without a mask, Miss. But, everyone there either ignored me or treated me like a had the plague!
    With that situation it’s tricky and depends on the community. You have to make it clear you’re not a chaser, not just with words but with actions/behavior. I went to my first event dressed, which helped make it clear I was part of the group, but even after you have to show that you’re not just there to hit on pretty trans girls. Doesn’t mean you can’t flirt, but if all you’re trying to do is hook up it becomes REALLY obvious.

  12. #12
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    These were mostly all T girls who knew me as Sherry, Miss. I guess it's possible they didn't recognize me in drab. But, I tried it a few times to be sure.

    Then, stopped going in drab. Because I felt so unaccepted and alone!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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