Doc, also with the greatest respect, I have to ask what do MEN talk about for a great many years, without anything "going on"--meaning anything "sexual"--between them? Cars? Football? Politics? Our jobs? How to succeed in life? "Which is faster"? "Who won that game"? "Who lost it, and why?" How to build a house? How to fix this or that problem?
Despite what I said about the emotional intensity of women's friendships, I have to acknowledge that there can be great bonds of brotherhood among men too--most of all, as we know, between those who have fought wars and shared the same risks together. Yet none of this is "sexual" in nature. Not between themselves, anyway--only about our success with women we've known.
Yet none of these topics need be exclusive to one sex or the other. Friendships can be based on mutual interests. My late wife and I got on well together largely because our interests. tastes, beliefs and outlooks--and our careers too--were mutually compatible. Music, movies, politics, religion--nothing "radical" there, just moderation and eclecticism--humor above all!--but skills, children, life goals. "fun things" to do, whatever.
It all reminds me of that powerful line from an old and classic movie: [b]"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"--that without a tragic misunderstanding: "You mean, we could have been friends all these years?"
There are so many echoes of that thought! Everywhere from "Oklahoma!" to Rodney King. By Rodgers and Hammerstein:
The farmer and the cowman should be friends.
Oh, the farmer and the cowman should be friends.
One man likes to push a plough, the other likes to chase a cow,
But that's no reason why they cain't be friends!
All the way to Rodney King's plaintive lament: "Why can't we all just get along?"
Men and women don't always have the same interests and inclinations. But nor do people in general, so what the heck? I recall someone who was undoubtedly transsexual--half a century ago when we didn't even know the word--chatting with women at a party about clothes, fashion design and "Liberty fabrics" (he (she) was very "arty"), and I've no doubt this was just "girl talk" to all of them. Richard was "queer," to use his own word--no offense intended to anybody--and so feminine that his friendships with women would never be a threat to anyone. I really ought to post about "him" (her), and how things were back then. Anyway I hope my ideas come across. Best to you and all!