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Thread: Wondering

  1. #1
    Junior Member uwho1976's Avatar
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    Wondering

    I like wearing bras, panties, hose etc
    I do not wear dresses, wigs, makeup etc
    Would I still be considered a crossdresser?

  2. #2
    Non-Binary Member Krea's Avatar
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    Yes. There are plenty here that do this.
    "The only way is onward. There is no turning back."

  3. #3
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    It's a wide spectrum of members here and who knows what the future has to offer? Many here have started in a similar way and slowly developed into "full on" dressing.

  4. #4
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    Yes, It's called "underdressing."

    You may not be concerned right now with external appearances, from dresses to makeup. But "underdressing" can be one of many ways to express a dual gender identity, the masculine along with the feminine self. In this case, masculine outside, feminine inside, possibly?

    In Sexual Personae, Camille Paglia wrote something to the effect that "Woman's metaphor is the hidden." It may seem logical that a softer, "feminine" self needs covering up and hiding for protection from the world by a physically tougher "masculine" shell. But it's there anyway.
    Last edited by DAVIDA; 06-28-2020 at 03:34 AM. Reason: There is no need to quote the OP.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Kay J's Avatar
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    Uwho i see you are only 44 now yes you are a crossdresser and who know how far you will go in the years to come! Just enjoy your self!

  6. #6
    Member rhonda's Avatar
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    Wondering how little it takes to be a cd probably not very much but being a member of CD.com probably seals the answer

  7. #7
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    As Helen said, it is a "wide spectrum." In its most pure state, it is a personal thing. If you do that because you identify to some extent with what wearing those clothes, even in underdressing, with the female or feminine world, even to a limited extent, then you are a crossdresser because you are, to some extent, transgender - even just a little bit. Don't fret about it as it is a lot more common than you might think. Try to avoid getting wrapped up in the "men should wear this and women should wear that and never cross over" crap. It is a fable. Be who you are and enjoy it, and if you feel that way when you are not wearing those things it is perfectly OK. The person makes the person; not what they are wearing. And if that person is most comfortable wearing the clothes, whatever combination they might be and even for a little while during the day so you can reinforce a somewhat different identity, it is OK.

    Every male has some female-like traits and characteristics and every female has some male-like traits and characteristics. It is normal; nearly everyone is configured that way. But some of us have a blend that leans a bit more heavily toward what is commonly, but erroneously, considered the opposite side. We are all different. It is not a hobby - it is a part of who you are and whether done privately or publicly you do it because your brain is telling you that is what you need to do to express whatever configuration you happen to have. And it can change over time as your brain rewires itself to remain compatible with the new experiences you have and the new things you learn. Welcome to the club of honest people who express a more truthful picture of themselves than what society expects you to express. It is a part of the gender mosaic or the gender spectrum or whatever you want to call it and it is very real. Most don't feel that way, but some, like most everyone here on this forum, do. It is not a defect; it is not a gift. It is your reality in its most basic form. Embrace it. There are no expectations to do more and go further. Just be your honest self and if that includes wearing such female clothing items to make you most comfortable and happy then so be it. Own it. You are a beautiful person.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Gretchen, beautifully put and bang on the nail!!
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  9. #9
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
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    In my opinion...yes. I don?t think it?s the number of specific items, but the psychological desire to dress. I sense many of us did the same thing...underdressed. For me, it was progressive with periods of wearing a few items to periods of wearing more.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Yes, crossdressing has nothing to do with presenting as a woman. There is no requirement to put on a dress, wig and makeup to pretend to be a woman. No definition mandates these things. You are just another example of a crossdresser.

  11. #11
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    I am just a underderresser I wear a bra and panties everyday. I have no desire to wear a dress on other female clothes been this way since age 5 now 57 Yes I consider myself a cross dresser and so did a therapist I seen a few years ago to up me understand this. It?s just who I am and I do really like it

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    I would say you are definitely a Cross Dresser.
    Crissy

  13. #13
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    Survey says... Yes

  14. #14
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    If you ask other crossdressers they’ll say yes. If you ask the general LGBTQ+ community the answer is Maybe? In the LGBTQ community, “crossdresser” is most often used for men who dress as women for sexual pleasure, and people who do it to express themselves and their gender identity are usually considered trans, queer, gender fluid, or bigender. So it’s more about why you do than what you do in those circles.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Look up the definition, it is pretty clear to understand.

    https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C...esJAwgQ4dUDCAw

  16. #16
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    "cross-dressing
    n. the process or habit of putting on the clothes of the opposite sex. It is done for a variety of reasons, for example, as part of a performance, as social commentary, or for sexual pleasure."

    That's how the APA defines cross-dressing. Absolutely nothing in there about degree or frequency.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly View Post
    "cross-dressing
    n. the process or habit of putting on the clothes of the opposite sex. It is done for a variety of reasons, for example, as part of a performance, as social commentary, or for sexual pleasure."

    That's how the APA defines cross-dressing. Absolutely nothing in there about degree or frequency.
    Thank you for posting this, Aunt Kelly. Unfortunately it goes to show how how people outside the crossdressing community are sloppy at best about defining the reasons why we crossdress.

    I appreciate that the APA did list some motives for crossdressing: "as part of a performance," "as social commentary," or "for sexual pleasure." That much is a reminder that the motives for crossdressing are diverse. It doesn't have to be because anyone is "gay," for instance, as some imagine. Yet the most prominent motive of all is conspicuously missing from those examples: namely, identification with the opposite sex to one degree or another.

    Just as it's fair to say crossdressing doesn't have to mean anyone is "gay"--although some are--perhaps the APA omitted that example because crossdressing doesn't have to mean anyone is transsexual either--although some are too. Yet it's an unfortunate omission on the APA's part, because it fails to draw the public's attention to the diversity of "mixed" reasons why so many of us crossdress. What people don't see they will still conjure up in their minds, which still leaves many of us to be placed in one bucket or another by outsiders with a big label on it, which may or not describe who we are.

  18. #18
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Good points, Marianne.

    I think it goes to show that it is really hard to pin things down and draw boundaries between the "species" of LGBTQ people or anybody for that matter. Boundaries are fuzzy at best most of the time. Our brains don't really deal with strict categories very well and are always trying to find linkages between things. And with a vast majority of our thinking occurring in the subconscious and only letting our consciousness know the result and a few details it is pretty hard to tie anything down as to why someone does something unless you ask them and even then they might not know everything that produces their behavior because it occurred in the subconscious mind. Definitions usually need boundaries and I am sure the creators of the APA wrestled with that. The fuzziness of boundaries especially if the subject that is being defined is also rather fuzzy with regard to functioning.

    The APA definition of transgender has changed dramatically over the years. It went from a plain old mental illness to something milder to something yet milder and now to a dysphoria (a discomfort). About the only step left is to admit it is a normal variation in human behavior. Also keep in mind that the APA definition is dependent on the definitions of gender, sexual preference choices and a pile of other things that have historically had variable definitions. The point is, definitions, especially in biology, are not really intended to be all inclusive or precise. We biologist rarely find anything is clear cut. In physics, definitions can be much easier because you can make precise measurements or look at precise structures and behavior is controlled by mathematically precise laws. That is rarely the case in biology. In biology we generally use Bayesian logic which is based on a definitions being close enough; in physics and chemistry things are precise enough that you can use Descartesian logic which is very precise because the subject is precise.

  19. #19
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Wearing just one article of clothing of the opposite sex could be considered the act of cross dressing. Many of the members here are doing what I call female emulation. Both extremes (and points between) are cross dressing and I do both. Depends on how much time I have and the occasion. Right now I'm wearing women's shorts which most people wouldn't notice aren't men's.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  20. #20
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marianne S View Post
    Thank you for posting this, Aunt Kelly. Unfortunately it goes to show how how people outside the crossdressing community are sloppy at best about defining the reasons why we crossdress.

    I appreciate that the APA did list some motives for crossdressing: "as part of a performance," "as social commentary," or "for sexual pleasure." That much is a reminder that the motives for crossdressing are diverse. It doesn't have to be because anyone is "gay," for instance, as some imagine. Yet the most prominent motive of all is conspicuously missing from those examples: namely, identification with the opposite sex to one degree or another.
    Gender identity most certainly is recognized by the APA (and virtually every organization whose mission is to study and understand such things), though I'd challenge you to provide any citation that would back up your assertion that it is the "...most prominent motive of all..." Oh, I will freely stipulate that gender identity is a factor for a lot of crossdressers, but I also recognize that a substantial portion of that group refuse to acknowledge that there's something more going on. Homophobia and/or transphobia positively drips from some of those posts asserting something like "...I am 100% straight male. I just like to wear a garter belt and stockings now and then." Mind you, I am not judging. I struggled with understanding my gender identity for most of my life. That is how I know that there are crossdressers, and then there are those who, as you assert, are not "just a crossdresser".

    Spend some time here - https://www.apa.org/topics/lgbt/transgender
    ...it is a very approachable layperson's FAQ on gender identity and gender expression.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    Perhaps now might be a fun opportunity to take a page from Jeff Foxworthy's joke book and post some "you might be a crossdresser if"...

    1. If you join crossdressers.com and make a post asking if you are a crossdresser...you might be a crossdresser.

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Uwho,
    I think that by joining this wonderful forum you have self-identified as a cross dresser - that is what really matters!
    stay healthy,
    Luv, J

  23. #23
    New Member Sally Paradise's Avatar
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    I agree with all the other ladies here, of course you?re a crossdresser! A lot of people, myself included, started out with undergarments, it can progress, and it can be very fun!

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