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Thread: Heels?

  1. #26
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    Wow, Krisi! Did this question hit a nerve! Look how many responses! There must be something intensely "symbolic" about shoes.

    My answer is the same as many others'. Granted, I don't wear heels that high, though I'd love to do so, because it would be fun. Also I had an incipient ingrown toenail on my right foot that makes it painful to wear high heels for very long. I have a huge collection of shoes in various heights accumulated over the years in an attempt to find what's comfortable. (I'm a size eleven, which makes the selection more restricted. I hate to think what some males face when they're a size twelve and larger.)

    But in the end it's a balance between "femininity" and comfort. I admit I wear women's sandals around the house most of the time when I'm "dressed." I'd like to wear heels more of the time, but they can get uncomfortable after a while.

    So what's so great about heels? As others have found, they make me "feel feminine." And what's the point of "cross"-dressing if it's not to "feel feminine"? Naturally we want to accentuate what "feels feminine" to us, even if it isn't what most women wear much of the time. Sure, scads of women sling on a T-shirt and jeans, "unisex" clothing for convenience, just as men do. But in formal contexts we accentuate our masculinity and femininity. No woman would be seen dead at the Oscars parading herself in sneakers. It's high heels for sure. Same with men. We don't wear neckties any more, much of the time, but we do at a formal event; even with a ceremonial sword, where military officers' uniform requires it.

    I don't know which is worse: wearing high heels and a tight dress, or having to tote a clanking sword around the house! Anyway we don't have to go to those extremes. We don't have to wear a five-inch heel either. An inch or two is enough. When it come to shoes, there is a compromise between femininity and comfort. The "femininity" part comes from knowing we "look" more elegant, the shoe itself more delicate, the angle between foot and ankle straightened out, like a ballerina on her "points." The whole "different feel" of women's clothing (shoes included) compared with men's, reminds us of our enjoyment of "being women." And of course there's the way "heels" make us walk differently, all the way up to the hips, more the way a woman walks.

    An excellent compromise is a woman's high-heeled open-toed sandal, which jacks up the heels in a stimulating way without painfully compressing the toes.

    Quote Originally Posted by MonicaPVD View Post
    In the future, everyone will be considered non-binary and will wear grey hoodies with khaki pants and white sneakers. No one will remember what all the fuss was about crossdressing.
    Ain't gonna happen, Monica. And thank HEAVEN for that! Sure, there's been "convergence" between men's and women's clothing, but only on the grounds of convenience and utility. "Utility"--what an ugly, soulless word that is! Who wants to see men and women all alike in those dismal "unisex" uniforms worn in communist China?--the ultimate in "drab"! Where's the fun in that? Boring, BORING!

    No, human nature doesn't change, unless it's deliberately suppressed. Men and women will continue to assert themselves in their gender-divergent ways; in fashion above all. Thank goodness! Fashions may change, but differences remain, even if they're annoying at times.

    Forty years ago I couldn't wear earrings in public without being thought "weird." Today I can.

    Twenty years ago or thereabouts I could wear denim cutoffs as a male without being thought weird. Later, gangs of females invaded that "fashion space" and tight shorts became "girly." So today as a male I wear cargo shorts. It was annoying to be pried out of a comfortable fashion space--was there anything "essentially feminine" about tight shorts that I enjoyed?--but at least cargo shorts have pockets I can use! What we lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts.

    In spite of these changes, differences remain. Could I wear a crop top, or one of those off-the shoulder tops, or women's jeans, without being seen as "feminine"? No--and I'm glad about it. Differences between the sexes remain, and always will--ever since the time "sexual reproduction" first emerged eons ago, the splitting of life into "male" and "female," the engine of change and progress that powered our evolution and advanced us to where we are today: imperfect and conflicted, but sentient and intelligent, conscious and aware, with a future ahead of us, where without the division into "male" and "female" we might still be nothing but germs floating in the mud of some primordial swamp.

    So hey, "Vive la Difference!"
    Last edited by Marianne S; 07-03-2020 at 01:54 AM.

  2. #27
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    I wear heels in the kitchen because my wife said that she likes the look. Combined with stockings, me making dinner is her dessert!

    But why is what we like to do a fetish and what you like to do acceptable?

  3. #28
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marianne S View Post
    Wow, Krisi! Did this question hit a nerve! Look how many responses! There must be something intensely "symbolic" about shoes.

    My answer is the same as many others'. Granted, I don't wear heels that high, though I'd love to do so, because it would be fun. Also I had an incipient ingrown toenail on my right foot that makes it painful to wear high heels for very long. I have a huge collection of shoes in various heights accumulated over the years in an attempt to find what's comfortable. (I'm a size eleven, which makes the selection more restricted. I hate to think what some males face when they're a size twelve and larger.)

    But in the end it's a balance between "femininity" and comfort. I admit I wear women's sandals around the house most of the time when I'm "dressed." I'd like to wear heels more of the time, but they can get uncomfortable after a while.

    So what's so great about heels? As others have found, they make me "feel feminine." And what's the point of "cross"-dressing if it's not to "feel feminine"? Naturally we want to accentuate what "feels feminine" to us, even if it isn't what most women wear much of the time. Sure, scads of women sling on a T-shirt and jeans, "unisex" clothing for convenience, just as men do. But in formal contexts we accentuate our masculinity and femininity. No woman would be seen dead at the Oscars parading herself in sneakers. It's high heels for sure. Same with men. We don't wear neckties any more, much of the time, but we do at a formal event; even with a ceremonial sword, where military officers' uniform requires it.

    I don't know which is worse: wearing high heels and a tight dress, or having to tote a clanking sword around the house! Anyway we don't have to go to those extremes. We don't have to wear a five-inch heel either. An inch or two is enough. When it come to shoes, there is a compromise between femininity and comfort. The "femininity" part comes from knowing we "look" more elegant, the shoe itself more delicate, the angle between foot and ankle straightened out, like a ballerina on her "points." The whole "different feel" of women's clothing (shoes included) compared with men's, reminds us of our enjoyment of "being women." And of course there's the way "heels" make us walk differently, all the way up to the hips, more the way a woman walks.

    An excellent compromise is a woman's high-heeled open-toed sandal, which jacks up the heels in a stimulating way without painfully compressing the toes.



    Ain't gonna happen, Monica. And thank HEAVEN for that! Sure, there's been "convergence" between men's and women's clothing, but only on the grounds of convenience and utility. "Utility"--what an ugly, soulless word that is! Who wants to see men and women all alike in those dismal "unisex" uniforms worn in communist China?--the ultimate in "drab"! Where's the fun in that? Boring, BORING!

    No, human nature doesn't change, unless it's deliberately suppressed. Men and women will continue to assert themselves in their gender-divergent ways; in fashion above all. Thank goodness! Fashions may change, but differences remain, even if they're annoying at times.

    Forty years ago I couldn't wear earrings in public without being thought "weird." Today I can.

    Twenty years ago or thereabouts I could wear denim cutoffs as a male without being thought weird. Later, gangs of females invaded that "fashion space" and tight shorts became "girly." So today as a male I wear cargo shorts. It was annoying to be pried out of a comfortable fashion space--was there anything "essentially feminine" about tight shorts that I enjoyed?--but at least cargo shorts have pockets I can use! What we lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts.

    In spite of these changes, differences remain. Could I wear a crop top, or one of those off-the shoulder tops, or women's jeans, without being seen as "feminine"? No--and I'm glad about it. Differences between the sexes remain, and always will--ever since the time "sexual reproduction" first emerged eons ago, the splitting of life into "male" and "female," the engine of change and progress that powered our evolution and advanced us to where we are today: imperfect and conflicted, but sentient and intelligent, conscious and aware, with a future ahead of us, where without the division into "male" and "female" we might still be nothing but germs floating in the mud of some primordial swamp.

    So hey, "Vive la Difference!"
    dont know if this "fits In " the thread but,--- i am of Scottish background so can ( and do -- full evening outfit ) wear a kilt. Of late i have bought a ---- cargo kilt ! use it for hill walking the only thing is the weight, they are heavy ! Swords ? i carry a small knife in my sock top when in full evening dress though these days its blunted ( by law in U.K. ) might have been handy if someone refered to the kilt as a "skirt" !

  4. #29
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    I was reading another thread questioning whether high heels would damage flooring in the kitchen
    Heels will damage flooring in any room of your house depending what flooring you have down. X x x

  5. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marianne S View Post
    No woman would be seen dead at the Oscars parading herself in sneakers.
    These ceremonies have a dress code. Therefore I doubt it's women's choice to wear heels or dresses there. If no dress code was enforced, there's a good probability that we would see sneakers (and slacks and whatever), even in these formal events.

  6. #31
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    I cook ( former employment in the M.N. ) the Sunday dinner as a change from machining metal,knocking nails in wood Ect. So Sunday afternoon i "dress" with heels Ect in the kitchen, do find i have a " normal" heel hight of around 2.5 to 3.00 inches above that its possable for a short while & for you youngsters -- i am 77 years old.....

  7. #32
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    Thanks everybody for your replies. I have a couple pairs of 2 1/2" pumps that I wear occasionally around the house, but not when I go out. Why? Well at 5'9" tall, I'm taller than the average woman already and my goal when out is to pass as a woman. Being 2 1/2" taller isn't going to help with that. Also, as a size 12W, I think it's best not to call attention to my feet.

    Some folks mentioned the 1950s TV shows, June Cleaver, etc. Well, that's not my thing, I'm living in the present. A lot has changed in seventy years. There was another mention of "looking sexy". At my age, "sexy" has left the building. I don't wear a silicone suit or mask so the best I can go for is "classy".

    Obviously, we each have our reasons for doing what we do, I was just interested in people's reasons for wearing heels. Thanks everybody.
    Krisi

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member Karmen's Avatar
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    I love wearing heels and since I don't go out fully dressed that often, the only regular opportunity to wear heels is while at home, watching TV, cleaning, cooking, etc. If I could or better said, dare to do it, I would wear them at work every day.

  9. #34
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I wore heels to the TCNE holiday party. Other than that it's flats for me. I generally only dress at home, and I'm usually doing house work or hobbies so they just make more sense.

    In the past I have worn them around the house, but it's just not worth the crap I get from my adamantly anti high heel wife.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  10. #35
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    I love wearing heels, as they are so sexy with sheer stockings and they seem to project my girls more.

    But I don't want them to damage my wooden floors, so I generally wear wedges indoors. I get the lift and shape of a high heel, but much more comfort and a soft footprint. I can wear my wedges all day without stress.

  11. #36
    Senior Member MargaretJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liz Jones View Post
    might have been handy if someone refered to the kilt as a "skirt" !
    Oh you're going straight to hell for that comment.

    "She snuck up on me from behind. You'd think women would make more noise with those big high heels, but they don't, they've got this stealth thing going..."

  12. #37
    A Woman Inside KarenSusan's Avatar
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    It's tough to get old. I love heels and up until a few years ago I could wear them. Then suddenly, seemingly overnight, my ankles got weak and my balance is off so I can wear only flats lest I fall and break something. I dearly miss heels especially with a long pencil skirt.


    Karen Sue

  13. #38
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    You?d have to ask my Heather side that question. Seriously though, I think it is just one more thing that separates me from my male self . The same reason why I almost invariably wear either a skirt or a dress while out as Heather... they are just things that are unmistakably female and cannot be confused with stereotypically male clothes.

  14. #39
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Because I don't get to wear heels to work.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

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    Quote Originally Posted by FairyCrossdresser View Post
    Seriously though, I think it is just one more thing that separates me from my male self . The same reason why I almost invariably wear either a skirt or a dress while out as Heather... they are just things that are unmistakably female and cannot be confused with stereotypically male clothes.
    Amen, I'm with you! That was me with the comment about growing up with "Leave It to Beaver" and "Ozzie and Harriet." That's my thing! Sometimes I find it humorous that my wife and granddaughter do a lot of shopping in the men's section of the thrift stores, while the guys are over in the women's section. As to this issue of 'sexy' all I can say is men and women can look and be downright sexy even after they have rolled around in the mud. It's more than the clothes. My 69 year old wife is as sexy as she was fifty years ago. I've encountered many "sexy" women who were sexy until they opened their mouths and spoke. Bland as cold oatmeal.

    PS: Same with "hunks."

  16. #41
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I wear 2.5 or 3 inch heels to relieve minor heel pain

  17. #42
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    What's the deal with heels? So why is wearing heels important to you? Does it make you feel more like a woman? Sexy? Come on, let's hear your reason.
    Good question. I like the way they make me look (yes, my own perception of me), and love the feel, the way they make me walk, and yes a little sexy. At 5'8" I am almost 6' with heels, not many gg are that tall and I like to at least try to blend. So It's flats for me when I try to blend, and I really don't blend very well at all.

  18. #43
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Because flats aren’t Drag.

  19. #44
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    There are certain items of female clothing that bear no comparison in the male world. Bra, skirts and heels. They 3 in my opinion if you want to project a female persona are essential to that idea. As for heels they tend extend the leg into a more feminine look and the sound also helps. If you here the click clack you know it's a woman.

  20. #45
    Senior Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    Because I'm of the age from whence women wore heels PLUS they make my legs look good.

  21. #46
    Member Jacqueline Vivaldi's Avatar
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    I love to wear heels because my legs look better shaped and longer. Most importantly, the derriere as seen from the back side while walking has a very nice elegant movement with more action. Just now I have to wear flats due to a foot injury.

  22. #47
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    Women I know don't normally wear heels.

    ...

    Out in public, I rarely see women wearing heels.
    You're one person. In one geographic part of the world. With a limited pool of GG's in your circle.


    Also: Are you older? Retired? Do errands in the middle of the day?

    Or do you typically hang with younger, fit, femmy GG's, both professionally & socially?


    Because depending on how one answers those questions? That could very well make a big difference.


    For example, I know of a "girly-girl" GG... Fit, late-20's, attractive, socially active (including clubbing).

    She's also a total shoe-junkie. She *loves* shoes! Owns & wears over 100 pairs... Mostly expensive running shoes -- and HEELS!

    And she is not the only one over the years who I've known in this particular demographic, mind you, who shared the same tastes.


    I currently work a decent blue-collar job. Do women wear heels there? Nope, of course not! (Though there are a couple who work in the front office, who do.)

    However, I used to work in the white-collar corporate world. Obviously you'd see more heels there... Not all of them did & not every day -- but enough of them. And it wasn't even required/expected!



    Is there an overall trend away from heels, in the Western world? Probably, who knows. Though I do know that enough of them still do get made, sold -- and worn (by GG's).

    Why is this? Could be many reasons. One off the top of my head? Over the decades women (and men!) have gotten HEAVIER.

    So, what's typically easier on the feet & other parts of the body, when wearing heels... Weighing 140 pounds -- or 200?


    Also: Overall, women's (and men's!) clothing has certainly become "sloppier" & more casual. Doesn't particularly lend to wearing heels, does it.



    I own exactly one pair of heels. Maybe 2-inch heel height? Good enough for me, these days. I typically wear 'em with a dress/skirt & hose, which isn't all that often. But when I do? Yep, it elevates that fem-factor exponentially, for sure.

    Back in the day, I did own/wear a bit more... But I was still never a huge heel-aficionado, to begin with (at least not on my feet).

    Today, I much prefer wearing (genuine-leather) ballet flats, running shoes & sporty-casual comfort slip-on's (think: Skechers). Plenty of reasons for this, including my lifestyle & outfit preferences.


    Anyway, yes... Heels are still alive & well, contrary to some opinions. There's a time & place for them, of course -- as well as for the "right" GG (or male! ).

    And if one doesn't really see them? Then perhaps they may need to expand their professional & social universe?

  23. #48
    Oh to be an English Rose Jane G's Avatar
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    As others have said. I wear heels because the women I looked up to and wanted to be like growing up, wore heels. My sister 5ft 12 ins and a former model always wears heals out to this day. Making a simple statement of who she is. I'm happy with who I am too..

  24. #49
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    There are a number of logical reasons that our feminine personas prefer high heels:
    1) they strongly assist in changing our gait. It's hard to "walk like a lumberjack" in 5 inch heels!
    2) they assist in changing our body language, slowing us down and forcing improved posture.
    3) those of us who alternate between our gendered selves find heels to be an assist in the transition process between gender presentations, see above.
    4) heels are not (currently) 'male' fashion items so help to separate our personas
    There are many other issues that have already bern mentioned that are emotional links through the wearing of high heels that are unique to each of us. For me, the added benefit is that they help to align my back (wild, huh?) so I wear a pair every morning for a short while.

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jane G View Post
    I wear heels because the women I looked up to and wanted to be like growing up, wore heels. My sister 5ft 12 ins and a former model always wears heals out to this day.
    "Five feet twelve" is such a cute way of saying "six feet"!

    I remember one woman I worked with who was six feet two. So some women do get up there!

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