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Thread: HRT and Me

  1. #1
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    HRT and Me

    Hello everyone,

    This is just an update on where things stand after 7 months of HRT. I am 58. If the writing seems a little formal, it is because I am avoiding contractions because they are turned into question marks when you post and it is too distracting.

    First, where I started. I had the body of a normal, fairly hairy male, who had worked out and spent decades in the Army. I was pretty fit with well defined shoulders and chest. It was a body I hated. I could not stand the hair and skin. I was balding and had lost more than I wanted to on my head.

    Although I was on the lowest dose of estradiol from Oct -Dec, they forgot to call in the spiro and I really saw only slight physical changes that may have been more in my mind than in my body. I started shaving all the hair off at the start of October and it seemed to grow back by the next day. It was thick and dark.

    Starting January 1, I doubled my estradiol and added spiro. At the end of April, the estradiol was increased by 50%.

    Changes: I don't even know where to start. My skin is not recognizable. I have almost no hair and it is as smooth as butter, legs, body, back all of it. I have not had electrolysis but have very little by the way of beard. It just isn't there. If I don't shave for 24 hours, you can feel it if you rub your hand up my face but you can't really see it. The hair on my knuckles is gone. It really is shocking.

    The hair on my head is not that much different. The bald spot on the top has noticeably filled in but not nearly enough.

    Other than the hair, I really don't see changes to my face.

    Next, I am the same weight but my pants don't fit because of my hips. There is just more fat going there, less to my waist and shoulders.

    While I still have definition in my shoulders, it is nothing like I had before and male shirts are big in the shoulders.

    The most astounding thing though are my breasts. They just keep growing. I'm already a B and there is no sense they are slowing. I took pictures of them the first day in October, then again in December and then a couple of weeks ago. It is just remarkable and not what I planned for or anticipated. Like most ladies on here, I did research, including here on the rate of change and the amount of change you can expect. If I ever got to here, I expected it to take years and I would probably never get here. I don't have male nipples anymore. Going in the pool without a top is not an option.

    One fact that might or might not be relevant. When I was in 8th grade, my breasts started to grow. I had the soreness under my nipples that was so bad I sat out football that year. I worried about it in a big way. Then testosterone kicked in and it stopped. Perhaps I'm just genetically programmed to have breast growth.

    Down side on the spiro, it saps my energy. I don't even want to put makeup on because I don't have the energy for it. For work in the mornings, I will just throw on a bra, t-shirt and maybe a pair of shorts or pull on skirt. That is it.

    So, I should be grateful and feel lucky that I've had these great changes. I cannot imagine having that hairy body back. But, I am not really ready to socially transition. I am not. I am just not. I have not been to the office since the first of March. I am a government attorney and can work from home. No one is seeing these changes and when this pandemic is over, I am going to roll in looking different. I wish all of you had these results or better. I am just not ready for them.

    I do not know what I am going to do. I am wavering. I feel mentally good because I am seeing the changes to me that I could no longer live without. I cannot go back but am having issues going forward. I would really like to just freeze it right here. It is not possible though. I have got to figure this out.

    For those who read to here, I know I should see a therapist.

    My message for those just starting HRT, your milage really will vary and the experiences of others with HRT will not be yours.
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
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    The only thing I found unusual is the facial hair reduction and that type bold spot is filling in noticeably that quickly. Also, fat redistribution around hips commonly takes a while - but hey, this is a gift from your genes. Enjoy!

    Regarding social transition - you really can hide it longer than you think if you want. People are super oblivious. Also, by fall, you will be wearing pants and long sleeve shirts again.

    Katya

  3. #3
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    Hi Katya,

    The filling in is noticeable to me because I track it and took pictures. I doubt the people I work with would notice it, but it is there. I can still wear my pants but they are tight in the hips and not the way I like them. I think my breasts are noticeable but not so remarkable unless I'm wearing a tighter t-shirt. I've had stares then and so I wear extra-large t-shirts and it is less of an issue most of the time. I think if I wear a regular thick, larger, button up, right now I would be fine. But, I am concerned as they have grown this fast and it will be a couple of months before I go back to the office. I live in Texas and have a compromised immune system, so, they will leave me out until one of the last.

    If you did not immediately socially transition, was there anything you did to lessen the breast bounce and their prominence?

    Thank you.

    Robin
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

  4. #4
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    Thank you Robin and as for me I chose the lowest dose also (mileage is variable). Good luck going back to work (physically) and you should /will need that emotional parachute i.e. therapist... Thank you for service too!
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    You reported "B" breast and hair being gone back in November after just six weeks of HRT.

    And your wife, who "doesn't believe people can be transgender", how is your rapid transformation affecting her?
    Last edited by Jeri Ann; 07-03-2020 at 09:30 AM.

  6. #6
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    Robin,
    I read your thread with great interest , if I knew HRT would have the same effects I would possibly go ahead . How I would love to lose the body hair problem , social transition isn't a problem for me as I've already done so . My skin is not too bad apart from my hands and I'm not too worried to continue wearing a wig if my hair doesn't grow all over . I'm intrigued by what changes I might see to my figure as I'm already a 36B with 37" hips and a 31 " waistline and not much surplus fat to redistribute .

    OK there is a BUT ! I live alone so all the jobs are down to me , I have quite a bit of restructuring to do in my home and loss of physical strength might be a problem especially as I'm ten years older than you .

    One question which I'm confused about is the point about not consulting a therapist , so are you self medicating ?

    Overall I'm so pleased for you and the progress you've made , I wish you all the best for the future .
    Last edited by Teresa; 07-03-2020 at 09:23 AM.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member
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    Hi Robin,

    Check out these Hanes Women's Comfort-Blend Flex Fit Pullover Bra (2-Pack) on Amazon:
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01AZSLNU2..._Y20.EbX9NMHYT

    They give the support, very discrete, and are so comfortable, I wear them at home during the cold weather to keep me warm.

    Katya

  8. #8
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    Good morning Jeri,

    Yes, I did report those things. I had some growth at the start. I was 42 around the chest and 45.5 around the breast then. I had one B bra that fit but I was not full at all. All the other Bs had way extra material, so, while my breasts had height, there really wasn't the depth. I did start having regrowth of hair but nothing like this and it was so short, no one would notice but me. I was looking for it. Now, my chest is still 42 but my breasts are 47 and way, way fuller. They stick up and are round, even when I'm laying down. Certainly, they do not stick out as far when I am laying down, but the breast is visible. I wish I could describe it better, but I cannot. That is not to say they are everything a girl could want, but they are not done yet. Everywhere on them hurts. I do not even want to bump them with my own arms. Even just washing them hurts.

    For anyone doing the math, by charts I should be in a D or something like that. But the charts don't take into account male back muscles which skew the measurement. I am going by what cup my breast actually fills in all dimensions.

    In my original report, I was comparing what I had to my male body. Now I am comparing what I have to both of those bodies and to the pictures that I took of those bodies at the time. The differences are substantial.

    My wife and I have not seen much of each other. She has not and will not change her view. Right after I told her, she moved into our spare bedroom and things were very tense. After a few weeks she took a trip back to our house in Maine and stayed there until the second part of February. My stepson lost his job in Austin and moved back in while she was gone, so when she returned we went back to room mates. In May, she and my stepson went back to Maine. In all that time, she sees my legs, my arms and my head but nothing else. We are nice to each other, for the most part. We talk all the time but not about this. We have almost no physical contact. She ignores that it is happening for the most part. We did take a family trip to Aruba at the start of March. I wore a swim shirt in the pool and we had our 15 year old with us. It was actually a great vacation. She had planned to come back from Maine at the end of this month, but with COVID, she is staying put for now. She is older than I am and also has conditions that make it unwise to come back to Texas during this.

    Again, Jeri, we do not talk about this at all. Reading my crystal ball, I think we will separate for the most part. We will probably always stay married because all the benefits, health insurance and such come from me. We've been together 23 years. Also, what she can get from my Army pension and social security is much higher if we are married if I pass away. Those are things I want her to have. She took care of things through deployments and injuries and surgeries and everything else.

    If there were not the economic realities, she may make different choices. She earns 8% of our income. If we divorced, she would lose her health insurance, more than half of my military career was before I knew her, so, she would not be entitled to any part of that pension, she would not get the bump in social security if I died first or the VA benefit if I passed from a service connected disability, which is probably what will happen. This paragraph is me guessing what the outcome would be if the circumstances were changed but I do not know that it is what she would do.

    I hope that answers your questions, Jeri.

    Robin

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Hi Teresa,

    No, I'm not self-medicating. I went to a therapist before I started this to make sure. She gave me referral letters and I went to Planned Parenthood, which did not need them. I then wanted to switch my care to the Veteran's Administration (actually now Veteran's Affairs) because they provide all of my care as I am a 90% disabled veteran. They require that you go to one of their therapists before you are referred to an endocrinologist. She gave me a referral as well.

    Robin
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

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