Hello everyone,
This is just an update on where things stand after 7 months of HRT. I am 58. If the writing seems a little formal, it is because I am avoiding contractions because they are turned into question marks when you post and it is too distracting.
First, where I started. I had the body of a normal, fairly hairy male, who had worked out and spent decades in the Army. I was pretty fit with well defined shoulders and chest. It was a body I hated. I could not stand the hair and skin. I was balding and had lost more than I wanted to on my head.
Although I was on the lowest dose of estradiol from Oct -Dec, they forgot to call in the spiro and I really saw only slight physical changes that may have been more in my mind than in my body. I started shaving all the hair off at the start of October and it seemed to grow back by the next day. It was thick and dark.
Starting January 1, I doubled my estradiol and added spiro. At the end of April, the estradiol was increased by 50%.
Changes: I don't even know where to start. My skin is not recognizable. I have almost no hair and it is as smooth as butter, legs, body, back all of it. I have not had electrolysis but have very little by the way of beard. It just isn't there. If I don't shave for 24 hours, you can feel it if you rub your hand up my face but you can't really see it. The hair on my knuckles is gone. It really is shocking.
The hair on my head is not that much different. The bald spot on the top has noticeably filled in but not nearly enough.
Other than the hair, I really don't see changes to my face.
Next, I am the same weight but my pants don't fit because of my hips. There is just more fat going there, less to my waist and shoulders.
While I still have definition in my shoulders, it is nothing like I had before and male shirts are big in the shoulders.
The most astounding thing though are my breasts. They just keep growing. I'm already a B and there is no sense they are slowing. I took pictures of them the first day in October, then again in December and then a couple of weeks ago. It is just remarkable and not what I planned for or anticipated. Like most ladies on here, I did research, including here on the rate of change and the amount of change you can expect. If I ever got to here, I expected it to take years and I would probably never get here. I don't have male nipples anymore. Going in the pool without a top is not an option.
One fact that might or might not be relevant. When I was in 8th grade, my breasts started to grow. I had the soreness under my nipples that was so bad I sat out football that year. I worried about it in a big way. Then testosterone kicked in and it stopped. Perhaps I'm just genetically programmed to have breast growth.
Down side on the spiro, it saps my energy. I don't even want to put makeup on because I don't have the energy for it. For work in the mornings, I will just throw on a bra, t-shirt and maybe a pair of shorts or pull on skirt. That is it.
So, I should be grateful and feel lucky that I've had these great changes. I cannot imagine having that hairy body back. But, I am not really ready to socially transition. I am not. I am just not. I have not been to the office since the first of March. I am a government attorney and can work from home. No one is seeing these changes and when this pandemic is over, I am going to roll in looking different. I wish all of you had these results or better. I am just not ready for them.
I do not know what I am going to do. I am wavering. I feel mentally good because I am seeing the changes to me that I could no longer live without. I cannot go back but am having issues going forward. I would really like to just freeze it right here. It is not possible though. I have got to figure this out.
For those who read to here, I know I should see a therapist.
My message for those just starting HRT, your milage really will vary and the experiences of others with HRT will not be yours.