Results 1 to 24 of 24

Thread: Thinking of finally telling my wife

  1. #1
    Junior Member uwho1976's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    Saint John NB
    Posts
    39

    Thinking of finally telling my wife

    Any suggestions, as it is her bra and panties etc that I wear.

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    618
    Buy your own.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    3,630
    It’s really tough to give specific suggestions without knowing a lot more about you, your dressing, your wife, and your relationship, but in general be honest, hope for the best, and brace for the worst.

  4. #4
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Bonnie Scotland
    Posts
    993
    She never questioned or noticed anything about her lingerie being worn like misshaped, stretched or marked?

    You must put them away carefully as woman sure notice if their lingerie drawer is not as they left it or their bras and panties are folded different.

    Try one night saying for a laugh can I wear one of your bras and panties for fun and judge her reaction.

    X x x

  5. #5
    Silver Member NancySue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Southern Illinois
    Posts
    3,043
    I wish you the best. Go slow, but you already have a challenge as most women do not like anyone else other then themselves to wear their clothes, especially their bras and panties, plus etc.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,676
    For starters, get your own panties and bra(s). Then think about what cross dressing represent for you and what you want to tell her.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  7. #7
    Junior Member suzzi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    Location
    minnesota
    Posts
    98
    Hi sweetie ! Ive never revealed myself to past wives ,though i did wear their panties and bras the whole time i was with them ,im talking 5 diffrent women and wore all of their panties and some bras , the ones i fit !!! Hehehe !did tell a former girlfriend that i dressed and a former boyfriend ! The lady was like oh my dad does that too ! She was well aware of men in panties !!! Lol even though the gentleman was not ok with this and didnt want to see me any more ! K sera sera !!! I do this for me any how !!! 50\50 chance your wife will accept this ! Good luck sweetie !!
    Last edited by suzzi; 07-05-2020 at 01:06 PM.

  8. #8
    Member Liz Jones's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    The north Wirral ( near Liverpool ) U.K.
    Posts
    311
    Take it slow--how would you like 10tons of rock dropped on you from a great hight ? try bringing up crossdressing after seeing it on the news--note reaction.If good make vague comments about crossdressing &how a lot of men do it..... again note reaction&judge the speed &density of the debate as has been said only you can judge how & when but take it slow--reasure Her that you are still a man--its just that you have this "urge" inside you but above all else --be honest &answer all Her qustions. cant say anything about borrowed clothes----the Wife is slim -i am defo not!
    Liz

  9. #9
    Administrator Di's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    SouthEastern Ontario
    Posts
    16,149
    First buy your own things ( as many have said)
    Second just be honest.
    Third Tell her you were afraid to tell her but you have done this for x amount of years and you are the same person she loved all these years.
    I read you are only interested in bras and panties and in a wheelchair as a GG I-would just want you to just be honest.

    We have a FAB group here if she wants to connect with other GGs.
    Best Wishes
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️


    Administrator

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    16,589
    I suggest you read the link in my signature on telling your partner
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  11. #11
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Orange County, California
    Posts
    3,080
    What Mickey Finn said. To try to help you in this area, we need to know more of what's in your book. You gave us just your cover.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    3,581
    Be upfront with her. Buy your own things. Read the sticky on How To Tell Your Partner and the sticky Tips on your SO Acceptance. Good luck!
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

    Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!

  13. #13
    The Fantabulous NatashaHexx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2020
    Location
    Eugene, OR
    Posts
    12
    When I had the conversation with my wife, one of the first things she asked is if I had ever worn any of her clothes (I haven't I have all my own stuff.) She said that made it easier to be supportive of. And then she gave me one of her old dresses.

  14. #14
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,843
    Uwho, not knowing any details I can't give advice. Let me just say:

    1. Even if u posted a volume about her here? U would STILL know her better than us.

    2. I've been divorced and been shopping. And, I can verify that one divorce is more expensive than buying the entire lingerie stock in a Macy's store!
    So, buying one bra and panties for yourself mite be a conservative and inexpensive place to start?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  15. #15
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Denver, Colorado
    Posts
    1,867
    What Di said. She is an accepting, genetically pure woman. Think about that. Why reinvent the wheel?

  16. #16
    Member Ameli's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Saskatoon, Canada
    Posts
    256
    This isn’t easy. Part of me that thinks it’s better to tell even if it goes bad. It feels way better to not have barriers between us, even when you’re left with something difficult To work through.

  17. #17
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Banning, east of Los Angeles.
    Posts
    2,571
    telling what? If I can ask.
    Your post is not clear and we can get so many assumptions.
    I imagine you are looking for some advice so against all the odds of negativity you can read here im a happy 41 years married, transwoman that came here 5 years ago as a crossdresser so I think I can give you some advice...

    Devi
    HRT 042018; Full time 032019
    Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
    Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
    Breast augmentation surgery 012022
    GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION

  18. #18
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    14,303
    Last year you indicated you ordered breast forms. The thread was closed before you could report they were received. If you ordered breast forms you could definitely order your own bra and panties. Assuming your wife does not know (You'd be surprised what a wife really knows and a guy thinks she is totally in the dark-NOT!) you may want to let her know you like to wear a woman's panty. Women can tell if someone has been messing around with their lingerie, especially if they are stretched out of shape. She may consider a panty more of a fetish than full blown emulating of a female. Perhaps throw the bra in later. In response to some skeptics in one of your previous threads using a wheel chair does not make a person totally immobile. Basically order your own panties and bras whether or not you tell your wife.

  19. #19
    Reality Check
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    8,842
    I don't think anyone here can tell you how to tell your wife about your dressing. Every relationship is different and every woman is different.

    You've already been told you shouldn't be wearing your wife's clothes, but as a practical matter, it would be pretty difficult for a guy to order correct sizes without something to compare to.

    What I did was not to admit to my wife that I had been crossdressing, but just start gradually with her knowledge. How is that possible you ask? Well she asked me to order her some stretch bras from eBay. When they arrived she said "Are those my bras?" I said "No, my name is on the label" and I immediately put one on. She laughed. I said I need some panties to go with this bra. She gave me a couple pairs of old panties.

    I don't want to write a book here, but I took each step gradually as I thought she was ready for it. I now walk around the house fully dressed as a woman with wig, forms and butt and hip padding whenever I want to.

    You have to figure out what will work for you and understand that it's possible that nothing will work for you.
    Krisi

  20. #20
    New Member Sally Paradise's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Location
    Near Detroit, MI
    Posts
    21
    If you?re already thinking of telling her, I?ll throw in my 2 cents. My wife found out by accident and it was a rough time. All worked out in the end and we?re much closer now because of it, but, I definitely wish I would have told her sooner so that i could control the narrative. Also, she likes it, so we have could have been enjoying it together a lot sooner.

    Obviously no two situations are identical, and I am very lucky to have it work out so well, but this is your journey, you need to do what feels right to you.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Posts
    618
    There is another thread about what level of CD a person is. Have you thought about what you want to be? When my wife and I had that discussion she assumed every CD wants to be the highest level according to that thread. (6, 7, 8 or whatever the levels were) According to that thread I am a 1 with parts of 2 & 3. When my wife finally believed me, all was good. But your wife is probably going to assume you will go to the extreme so be prepared. And contrary to what some people say, your journey can start and end at level 1.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Natalie5004's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Location
    X
    Posts
    2,448
    Well if you are from St John, NB. First question is she French or English? I think a French woman would bite your head off, a English woman knows lots about cross dressing men.

    How is that for a stereotype of people I don't know?

    In reality I would not just come out with it. Watch Monty Python together and comment on the cross dressers in every episode. See where it goes from there.

  23. #23
    Silver Member Frannie7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    SW Ontario
    Posts
    3,256
    Uwho, I have just told my wife of 34 years (in March) and I didn't dress again until June. That was mostly my decision giving her time to process etc. In a passive-agressive way at the beginning of June she said "You want to anyway so just go ahead" or something to that effect. She didn't ask me if I wore her clothes or not but like others here have suggested, I would buy my own before telling her. After hiding it for some many years (8-10) I decided it was time. Our son had just moved out etc. She was more hurt buy the fact that I hid it for so long. She wasn't in favour of the dressing either but I guess we have some sort of arrangement now. Aside from that our relationship is great. She did say it was nothing we would get divorced over.

    So, a few things
    1. What is your motivation? If it is to dress when she is around, that may take some time. If it is to come clean, that's a good thing. Honesty is a good policy.
    2. Don't have the chat at night. People are often tired etc. This is going to take so time for her to process and neither of you want to be up all night thinking about what the other has said. I have a loose rule about not chatting about things like this after 7.
    3. Let her ask the questions and there are bound to be a lot. The obvious ones have been referred to and there is a suggested link with very good suggestions in one of the previous posts.
    3. Expect a cooling off period where you hold off from dressing. This is all part of the processing time.
    4. The more you talk the better, but generally let her bring up the topic. Unless, of course, there is no discussion for a while and you feel the need to talk it over more.
    5. Don't make promises that you may not intend to keep. i.e. I won't dress anymore if you don't want me to or I'll only dress at home. Things like that.

    I hope these give you something to think about along with what has already been expressed.

    On a side note, I have been to St. John many times, having gone to university in Sackville. Go Mounties. Enjoy your summer and good luck

  24. #24
    Senior Member DianeT's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    France
    Posts
    1,455
    What suggestions exactly? About telling or not telling? About how to tell? If you are decided to tell, Shelly's signature link is indeed a mandatory read. For the rest, I have been there and if I had any suggestion, it would be to stop using her stuff right now, at least if you don't intend to tell her in the short future. Buy your own. Then work on telling. Prepare it carefully, in your best interest and your wife's. My wife was devastated. She is mending slowly, as is our couple.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State